Mutant Bunny Island #3

by Obert Skye

  “May I help you?” the woman asked.

  “We’re here to see Zeke Owens,” Juliet told her.

  “Zeke’s here?” I asked Juliet in surprise.

  Juliet elbowed me to shut me up.

  “We’d like to see Zeke,” Juliet repeated.

  “First door to the left,” the woman said. “Cubicle seventy-five.”

  “Zeke’s here?” I asked again.

  Juliet and Rain didn’t answer my question, but they led the way, walking through the door on the left. Behind the door was an entire floor of gray cubicles. It looked like a boring maze that nobody would want to figure out. I followed my friends through the middle of the cubicles.

  Juliet and Rain stopped near the seventy-fifth cube. On the side of the gray cubicle there was a small plastic plaque that read First Mate: Zeke.

  “I don’t get it,” I said, completely confused.

  Juliet motioned for me to enter the cubicle.

  I stepped into the seventy-fifth cube, and there sitting in a desk chair and facing a computer was Zeke. I could see only the back of him. But I could tell he was wearing a nice shirt and a long pair of pants. He looked so . . . normal!

  I felt nauseous.

  Zeke was talking into a headset and typing on his computer.

  “Yes,” he said to the caller on the phone. “You can purchase the deluxe pack for only two hundred dollars. You’ll never worry about security again, or my name isn’t First Mate Zeke.”

  “Holy crab,” I whispered with disgust and confusion.

  Zeke spun around in his chair. His face went white as he saw me standing there. He sputtered and coughed as he quickly got off the phone.

  “Perry,” he croaked. “What are you doing here?”

  “Sorry,” Juliet said. “He made us bring him.”

  “You work here?” I asked my uncle.

  Zeke nodded.

  “And do you know there are a couple of lousy people in your house who were complaining about your towels?”

  He nodded again.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m staying with a friend,” Zeke said sheepishly. “I’m renting my place out for a few extra bucks. You wouldn’t believe how much people are paying for hotel rooms here.”

  Looking at Zeke, I squinted. I had never really thought about what my uncle did for money. He always seemed cooler than someone who needed to worry about paying for things.

  “If you need money, I have a few dollars,” I offered.

  “Thanks, Perry, but I’m okay. I’m just saving up for something important.”

  “A submarine?” I asked, thinking it was just about the only thing worth becoming the first mate of a cubicle for.

  Zeke shook his head. “No squid sub.”

  “Tentacle implants?”

  Another shake.

  “Ink implants?”

  “No,” Zeke said. “It’s not important right now. I just can’t believe you’re here. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

  “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “I’m surprised, but my house is rented out,” Zeke said. “I think my friend has a couch you can sleep on.”

  “I’m staying with Rain.” It was a lie, but I didn’t want to ruin my dad’s surprise.

  Rain nodded. “That true.”

  “So, you’re a first mate?” I asked Zeke.

  “I started off as a deckhand. I was going to tell you and your dad about it, but I figured I would wait until I was promoted to quartermaster.”

  “I don’t want to sound like a newt,” I said, looking around and hoping I wasn’t being too mean. “But this seems like the kind of place that squids go to die.”

  Even though I didn’t want to sound like a newt, I did. It was just so strange seeing my uncle at a normal job. It felt like I had just found out that Admiral Uli worked at Old Navy—and not the cool old navy from Ocean Blasterzoids who fought in the War of Eighteen Kelp.

  “Who cares about where squids die?” Juliet argued. “Tell Zeke about what happened at the beach.”

  After first letting Juliet know that I cared about where squids die, I told Zeke everything that had gone down at the beach. I gave him the complete deets about the bunny bullies, the lifeguard stand, and the collapsing ground.

  “Wow,” a loud male voice interrupted. “That’s quite a story.”

  We all turned around to see a large man blocking the whole entrance of Zeke’s cubicle. He was shaped like a big squishy football, with small feet, a wide middle, and a tiny top of the head. At the tip of his noggin there was a thick tuft of brown and graying hair. His face blended into his neck, and his neck blended into his stomach. He was wearing a dark green suit that was the color of a ripe avocado. There was a name tag on his suit that read: Captain Fuzzy.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” Captain Fuzzy said. “But when I hear someone telling a story, I like to listen in.”

  “Fuzzy,” Zeke said, sounding busted. “Sorry, my nephew and his friends just stopped by to say hello. I’ll get back to work.”

  “First and foremost,” he insisted, “call me Captain.”

  “Right,” Zeke apologized. “Captain.”

  There was something about Captain Fuzzy that seemed familiar to me. I couldn’t tell if I recognized him from some other time on the island, or if he just looked so much like a blob fish that I felt like I had seen him before at an aquarium filled with misshapen sea creatures.

  “I’ll excuse the interruption this time,” Captain Fuzzy said. “Family is very important here at Crosshair. Besides, it’s not every day that we get such famous visitors.”

  Juliet, Rain, and I all smiled nervously. The way this Fuzzy captain spoke reminded me of flavorless syrup. His voice had all the uncomfortable stickiness, but none of the delicious maple zing.

  “I know all about you three and what you’ve done,” Captain Fuzzy said, looking directly at me. “Saving this island again and again. There are a lot of people who are grateful for you. I myself was very surprised to hear that you had returned to the island once again, Perry.”

  “Where’d you hear I returned?” I asked.

  Fuzzy coughed a little, sounding like Zeke had moments before.

  “Maybe I used the wrong word,” he said. “I meant to say I was surprised just now to see you here in your uncle’s cubicle and back on the island.”

  I made a mental note not to ever take Captain Fuzzy at his word.

  “Why did you come back?” he asked.

  Glancing about, I saw the heads of other workers sticking up over their cubicle walls. They were all attempting to listen in on our conversation.

  “I came back to see my friends during their bunny break,” I informed the captain.

  “How nice.” His face jiggled as he tried to smile sincerely. “Children and their friends. Meanwhile in the real world, we adults have work to do. So why don’t we let Zeke get back to his. I’d be happy to personally escort you to the exit.”

  “But we’re not done talking to my uncle.”

  “Let me help you finish,” Captain Fuzzy offered. “Good-bye, Zeke.”

  The captain waved at Zeke and then reached out to help guide me and my friends out of the cubicle.

  “But the bunnies,” I said to my uncle. “We need to talk about the bunnies.”

  “Really?” Captain Fuzzy asked, looking suddenly serious. “What about the bunnies?”

  “There’re so many,” I said uncomfortably. “And well, they bullied us and . . .” I stopped talking because I didn’t like the way the captain was looking at me. “Um . . . there’re just so many, that’s all.”

  “That’s how the island got its name,” Captain Fuzzy said. “I’m not one to nitpick, Zeke, but I’m not about to celebrate your nephew’s lack of knowledge. Now, stop thinking about bunnies, Perry, and go do some sightseeing with your dad.”

  “Who said my dad was here?” I asked, shocked.

  “Well . . . you said . . . what I meant is tha
t I’m sure he is,” Captain Fuzzy sputtered. “I mean, what kind of child comes to an island without his parents?”

  “I have,” I answered. “Twice.”

  “My brother would never travel out here,” Zeke told Captain Fuzzy. “He has a hard time leaving his job.”

  My friends and I stared at the fuzz captain, wondering what he really knew about my dad.

  “Zeke,” Fuzzy said curtly. “You need to tell your family to leave now.”

  My uncle looked at me. His brown eyes clearly showed how sorry he was to have to be taking orders from a blob fish.

  “You should go, Perry,” he said. “I’ll find you after work.”

  “There,” Captain Fuzzy said. “You two have a plan. Now, let me show you the way out.”

  Captain Fuzzy escorted me and my friends down the elevator, past the koi pond, and back out into the bunny-infested world.

  “Watch out for newts, Perry,” he said as he pushed us out the door.

  “What?” I asked in disbelief. “What do you know about newts?”

  “Well, I know your uncle doesn’t trust them.”

  Captain Fuzzy went back inside his building, leaving the three of us to stand there looking as dumbfounded as the whale king when he lost his krill crown in Issue #10: “Born to Blubber.”

  “This isn’t good,” I said.

  “I’ll say,” Rain agreed. “Usually I think you’re just nuts, but this time I’m with you. That guy is suspicious. He knew w-a-a-a-a-y too much about you.”

  “And Zeke is no help,” Juliet added.

  “What about your dad?” Rain asked.

  “What about him?” I asked back.

  “I mean, could he help?”

  “My dad?”

  Rain nodded.

  “Really?” I questioned.

  “Hundreds of bunnies tried to attack us,” Juliet reminded me. “Don’t you think we should at least tell someone? Zeke’s been helpful in the past. And since your dad is his brother, I’m sure he can help somehow.”

  “You don’t understand,” I said.

  “What’s to understand?” Rain asked. “Plus, it might be funny to see what kind of father a person like you came from.”

  Rain took off jogging in the general direction of the Bunny Hotel.

  “I agree with him.” Juliet ran off after Rain.

  Standing there near the Crosshair Building, I looked up at the weird sky and sighed. In a few minutes, my old life and my island life were going to collide when my friends met my dad. And I was not sure if I should run to the hotel or run away.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  NO HELP AT ALL

  Typically, I don’t like to go to my dad for help. He usually just gives me some unrelated answer that doesn’t help at all. But we were on an island, and my uncle was being held captive by a fuzzy blob fish captain who knew about newts.

  I caught up with my friends in the lobby, and together we found my dad in the Angora Room of the hotel. He was sitting down at a table and asking Summer what kind of plants grew best on islands. I stood next to him waiting impatiently for him to finish what he was saying.

  “. . . I bet the sand actually helps the soil so that plants have room to breathe.”

  “I bet you’re right,” Summer said as if she deeply cared about breathing soil.

  Shaking his head, my father sighed. “Sadly, most people go their whole lives without knowing how crucial the right soil and mulch are to living plants.”

  “Not me,” I interrupted them. “You told me on my sixth birthday.”

  My dad turned around. “That’s because I thought you were finally old enough to hear the truth.” He noticed Juliet and Rain. “Now, who are these people?”

  I introduced both my friends, and my dad seemed overly happy about their names.

  “Rain is very important,” my dad told Rain. “There are very few things that grow without it. And Juliet was the name of the hurricane that destroyed my parents’ first home.”

  “Sorry,” Juliet said.

  “Don’t be sorry,” my father insisted. “I’ve always thought it was the nicest name for a hurricane.”

  “Dad, can we talk to you?” I asked.

  “I was under the impression that you were, kiddo.”

  My dad smiled at Summer to let her know that he was making a joke. Summer smiled back to let him know that she got it.

  “Alone,” I added.

  Summer got the clue and excused herself to go do some of the work that she was supposed to be doing already. My two friends and I sat down next to my dad.

  “We saw Zeke,” I said urgently.

  “Great,” he cheered. “You didn’t tell him I was here, did you?”

  “No.”

  “Good,” my father said. “Did you tell your friends about the Jell-O?”

  My friends stared at me, looking like I had forgotten to tell them something incredibly important.

  “I’m saving that for when I have time to tell the story right.”

  “Good move. Now, how’s your uncle?”

  “Not good,” I insisted. “He has an office job!”

  “Wet rotten wheat!” my father exclaimed. “I don’t believe it.”

  “It’s true.”

  “So, he’s finally taking life seriously.”

  “I’m not sure about that, but he’s definitely trapped in a job, so we need you to help us.”

  “Help you do what?” my dad asked.

  “We have bunny problems,” Juliet told him.

  “I’m good with animals,” he said. “When I was a kid I had a goldfish.”

  “These bunnies are different from goldfish, Dad.” I looked around to make sure nobody else was listening and then whispered, “They attacked us.”

  “His name was Mark,” my dad added.

  “What?” I asked, frustrated.

  “My goldfish.” My father smiled at the memory of Mark. “You know, Perry, you might be ready for a goldfish of your own.”

  “I’m not,” I said. “I’m also not talking about fish, I’m talking about attack bunnies! Hundreds of rabbits that tried to take us down.”

  “Yeah,” Rain piped up. “It was ugly.”

  “Adorable but ugly,” Juliet added.

  My dad looked at all three of us as if we were smooshed bugs on the side of a porta-potty.

  “What?” I said defensively.

  “Good for you.” He winked and smiled. “No wonder you three get along. I never could have made up that kind of thing.”

  “We’re not making it up,” I argued.

  “Gotcha,” my dad said with another wink. “Just make sure you imagine me up a little farm. I’d like to live in a place where I can get my hands dirty and grow things. Have you told your friends that they served wheat at the first Thanksgiving?”

  Juliet and Rain stopped staring at my dad to turn their heads and stare at me. I couldn’t tell if they were worried about how strange my dad was, or mad that I had never told them about Thanksgiving wheat.

  “I never told them about it,” I said. “This is about hundreds of bunnies that tried to do us in.”

  “That still doesn’t make it right to ignore a historical fact like the first wheat. Did your uncle say when he would be done with work?”

  “Later.”

  “Good, well, then if it’s okay by you I’m going to go up to the room and rest. Maybe I’ll stare out the window as I lie in the bed. The view of the volcano from my pillow is spectacular.”

  “It’s a volcanto,” Rain corrected him. “It’s dead, so the locals call it Vol-Can’t-O.”

  “Well, then I’ll stare at Vol-Can’t-O. Summer said the hotel is having a pool party later. Whoever finds the carrot in the pool gets an extra pillow for their room. That’ll make the view even softer.”

  “So you’re not going to help us?” I asked.

  “I bet you can figure this out by yourself. Just think of how good you’ll feel by solving your own problems.” My father smiled at my fr
iends. “It was so nice to meet the two of you. I particularly like your necklace,” he said to Juliet.

  “I like it too,” Juliet replied.

  Then, just like that, my dad left the Angora Room to go upstairs to lie in his bed and stare at a dead volcano.

  “So, I think we should go back and try to talk to Zeke,” I suggested. “I knew my dad wouldn’t be of much help, he’s—”

  “Um . . . sorry, Perry, but I can’t go,” Juliet interrupted. “I kinda have a job.”

  “A job? You’re not old enough.”

  “I hand out samples at the mall,” she told me. “My manager is mean, but she hired me because she doesn’t have to pay me much. Also, it’s Bunny Break and the mall’s really busy, so I have to work for a couple of hours tonight.”

  “But . . .”

  “I’m saving up to visit Florida next year,” Juliet said excitedly. “I want to see what the real world looks like.”

  “Fine,” I said, disappointed. “I guess it’ll just be me and Rain.”

  “Actually,” Rain said, “I’m out too. I need to get back. People will be returning their bikes soon.”

  “What about the rabbits and Zeke?”

  Juliet and Rain looked out the front windows of the hotel. People and bunnies were moving up and down Rabbit Road without any problem.

  “Things look okay for the moment,” Juliet said. “I can hang out tomorrow.”

  “And I can do something tomorrow afternoon,” Rain offered. “But you probably shouldn’t go back to the Crosshair Building without us. Captain Fuzzy didn’t seem to like you very much.”

  “Fine,” I said, disgusted. “I’ll go up to the room and stare out the window at the volcano with my dad.”

  “Volcanto,” Rain said leaving.

  “I know.”

  “Don’t stare too hard,” Juliet warned me.

  Juliet gave me a hug before leaving. It was a small consolation prize. Nobody seemed to be taking things as seriously as I thought they should. It felt like I was living in Ocean Blasterzoids Issue #22, when the free-swimming giggle fish destroyed the town of Water Rot with their non-caring attitudes.