Mutant Bunny Island #3

by Obert Skye

  “For starters, there are robot bunnies.”

  “There’s robot everything,” my dad said. “Did you know there’s a coffee-processing plant in Michigan that’s completely run by robots? It makes me sad that those robots will never be able to drink or benefit from what they help make.”

  “This is different, Dad. These robots are bunnies, and they attacked me.”

  “How?”

  “Well . . . they piled up on top of me.”

  “Did you get scratched or bitten?”

  “No, but I got some fur in my mouth.”

  “And my nostrils are dry,” he said kindly. “Life’s not perfect, my boy.”

  “What about the sinister phone call Fuzzy was making?” I argued.

  “Perry, we’re only here for a short while.” My dad patted my head as if I were a dog he admired. “You should forget about these things and have a good time.”

  “You don’t understand. I was—”

  I was going to say more, but I was interrupted by the sound of someone shouting, “What are you doing here?”

  I stopped what I was saying and rubbed my eyes in disbelief.

  CHAPTER NINE

  SOME SECRETS ARE EMBARRASSING

  I wanted to scream with joy, but instead my scream came out as a slow, leaky squeal. There standing in the hallway ten feet away from us was my uncle Zeke. He looked wet and baffled by the sight of my dad.

  “I don’t believe it!”

  My dad was upset that he hadn’t been able to jump out from behind something and surprise his brother. But his disappointment quickly vanished, and the two of them hugged.

  “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  “Well, I am,” my father insisted. “I figured it was about time to see what Perry is always chirping about.”

  “Squids don’t chirp,” I corrected him.

  “That’s true.” Zeke gave me a hug and then made a V with two fingers on both of his hands.

  Without thinking, I did the same thing and then crossed my arms and wrists and wriggled my fingers to make the sign of the squid.

  “I got off work as soon as I could,” he told us.

  He looked from me back to my dad. “I can’t believe you’re actually on the island, Zane.”

  “It’s good for people to witness a wide variety of growing climates,” my dad said. “It makes things—”

  “This is great,” I interrupted. “But we have a problem. There are robot rabbits on the island, and mysterious warehouses.”

  “Perry’s been making up some fun stories,” my dad explained.

  “I’m not making things up,” I said.

  I told Zeke everything and then offered to show him the robot bunny I had hidden.

  “Okay,” Zeke agreed. “I’m always up for checking something out. You coming, Zane?”

  “Um . . . I . . . well, the thing is . . . funny you should . . . ,” my dad hemmed and hawed. “You see, I would love to go with you, but I sort of promised Summer that, well . . . I just . . . Summer, you see . . .”

  “Got it,” Zeke said kindly. “I know Summer. It makes sense that you would rather spend time with her than us. Perry and I will do the sleuthing.”

  My father went off to find Summer while my uncle and I walked outside the hotel and stood under the large awning. We looked out into the rain and at the softly blowing palm trees.

  “So, your dad likes Summer?”

  “It’s pretty gross.”

  “Yeah, we adults do some odd things.”

  “Like rent your house to weirdos?”

  “It’s just for a short while,” Zeke explained. “It’s a nice way to make money. I’m staying with one of my coworkers who has an extra bedroom.”

  “It’s strange to hear you say things like ‘coworkers.’”

  “I know, but that’s what comes with having a job.”

  “I never knew you liked money so much. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like it, too, but not enough to work for Fuzzy.”

  “Normally I’ve had enough work here to get by,” he explained. “But I’m saving up for something big.”

  “And it’s not a submarine?”

  “No.”

  “A car that can drive on land and on water?”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “You’re working for a blob fish named Captain Fuzzy Newton,” I reminded him. “It must matter.”

  “He does look like a blob fish,” Zeke said, smiling. “Okay, it matters. I’m going to ask Flower to marry me.”

  “Whoa,” I said in shock. “And you have to pay to ask?”

  “Asking is free, but weddings aren’t.”

  “So you’re in love?”

  “Something like that.”

  “I get it,” I said. “Juliet kinda has a thing for me.”

  Zeke smiled. “Do me a favor and don’t tell your dad about all this yet.”

  “My beak is sealed.”

  “Thanks,” Zeke said. “Now, did you pack extra snacks for your trip here?”

  “Of course,” I replied. “I’ve got a whole suitcase full of them up in our room.”

  “Good. We’re going to need a way to reward ourselves once we see this robot bunny.”

  It was good to be back with Zeke, even if love was sort of messing him up.

  I counted to three in Cephalopodian. “Loo, ub, wel, go!”

  We dashed out from under the roof, across Rabbit Road, and into the trees.

  CHAPTER TEN

  MESSED UP IN MORE THAN ONE WAY

  The rain was keeping most of the bunnies off the paths. They were all trying to stay dry by hiding in the bushes and rabbit holes that the island was riddled with.

  The path was also clear of tourists. Most people were inside businesses and homes waiting out the storm. If someone were to visit Bunny Island at the moment, all they would see would be a few bunnies and two soaking-wet people running madly through the rain.

  “I never run in Ohio,” I wheezed as loud as I could.

  “I never run when you’re not here,” my uncle wheezed back.

  When we finally arrived at the spot where I had hidden the robot rabbit, my butt burned, my calves were screaming, and my lungs felt like sea sewage. I took a moment to hack and cough violently.

  “Are you okay?” Zeke asked with concern.

  “It’s not good . . .” I drew in a deep breath. “It’s not good for squids to spend so much time above water.”

  “Funny you should say that,” he replied. “Seeing how you’re soaking wet.”

  I stomped into the brush and leaves to find the steel rabbit I had hidden.

  He wasn’t there.

  I looked around the base of other trees, thinking I might have had the wrong spot. But the rabbit wasn’t anywhere.

  “He’s gone?”

  “Are you sure he was here?”

  “That sounds like a question my dad would ask,” I said angrily. “Of course I’m sure. I was attacked, the rain chased them off, and I set the one I caught there.”

  I pointed to the exact place.

  “Maybe he turned back on and hopped away.”

  “I switched him off.”

  “Maybe someone found him.”

  “Really? There’s nobody out, and he was hidden. I think it’s obvious what happened.”

  “What?”

  I looked at my uncle with disgust. “Newts, of course. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” he said. “I just have stuff on my mind.”

  “Not the right stuff,” I told him. “The entire island could be in danger.”

  “Sorry, Perry, sometimes being a grown-up and being responsible take it out of you.”

  “That’s why I’m never going to do either.”

  The rain began to fall harder, and the leaves above our heads plinked and plunked out notes that sounded like an ominous song.

  “Do you hear that?” I whispered.

  “The rain?”

/>   I nodded.

  “I do,” my uncle said.

  “Issue number twenty-three,” I continued to whisper. “The newts used water drops on the surface of the ocean to trick Billy the Squid into going above water.”

  “That’s right.” Zeke smiled as if what I had just told him wasn’t that important. “Now, let’s get you back to the hotel.”

  “What?”

  “I have some things I need to take care of,” Zeke said. “I should be able to have dinner with you and your dad tomorrow night after I get off work.”

  “But, but, but what about Fuzzy, or the Lost Hutchman’s Booty, or the robot bunny?”

  “The booty’s a myth, and you and your friends can go searching for robots tomorrow. That might be a fun thing for you guys to do. Then you can go help the Bunny Break committee finish the rabbit for the bun-fire.”

  What was happening? Zeke was sounding less like himself than he did when he was a rabbit. He was under a spell, and it was worrying. He was saving money for a wedding, working for a man named Fuzzy, and suggesting that things like robot bunnies were not a problem.

  “Fuzzy has a warehouse at the port.”

  Zeke looked at me and sighed.

  “Look, Perry,” he said. “I get it. The last two times you were here you did some amazing things. Now you’re trying to find something that will keep things exciting.”

  “What?” I said, feeling sick.

  “It’s okay,” he added. “You don’t have to prove how brave you are. I already know you’re amazing. It’s okay to just have a nice time while you’re here.”

  If I were a doctor, I would have insisted that Zeke was ill and needed to get help. He wasn’t himself, and I didn’t know what to do.

  “Let me take you back to the hotel,” he offered again.

  “No, thanks,” I said, disappointed. “I can get back by myself.”

  “Good,” Zeke replied. “I have a couple of errands to take care of, so I’ll see you later.”

  I made two Vs with my fingers in preparation for the sign of the squid, but Zeke had already turned away and left.

  I felt like I was going to blow chum.

  A bunch of things were wrong, and a bunch of people didn’t believe me.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  TAKE THIS SOAP AND SHOVE IT

  The Bunny Island Mall gave me the creeps. Not because it was the place where my friends and I had been turned into bunnies. Not because it had giant fake rabbit ears on the top of it. Not because I had spent time in the air ducts. No, the reason it gave me the creeps was because of the stores. Most of the people who lived on the island were old hippies, so it had places that sold things like high-fiber snack bars and cushions to put on your toilet seat. I remembered a store called Look Who’s Old that sold ugly floral shirts and knee-length white shorts. I also remember a store called GrainStop that sold a bunch of those high-fiber snacks. It was the kind of store that only my dad could love.

  Walking through the front doors of the mall, I froze.

  “What the wilted kelp?”

  The mall had changed. For starters, it was super crowded because nobody wanted to be out in the rain. For finishers, it now had some normal shops. Not more than twenty feet away from me was an ice cream shop called Ice Ice Cream Baby. I could also see a hot dog cart called Doggin’ It. The place felt much more alive than before. There was even a small electric train that drove around inside, taking old people and children for rides. The mall seemed like it was trying to step it up and move into the twentieth century—which was still a century behind, but very progressive by Bunny Island standards.

  Moving through the sea of shoppers, I looked everywhere trying to find Juliet. I knew she handed out samples, but I didn’t know anything else.

  Just past the center of the mall, I spotted her. She was standing in front of a store called Soap It Up. She was wearing a pink apron over her shorts and T-shirt. She had a tray in her hands and was handing people small bits of . . . soap.

  I stepped up to her, wearing an expression of concern.

  “Perry!” she said with surprise. “What are you doing here?”

  “You hand out soap samples?” I asked in disbelief. “Who wants a sample of soap?”

  “Not too many people.”

  “That might work to our advantage,” I said. “Because I need your help.”

  “I’m working,” she whispered while checking to see if her manager was watching. “Ms. Purts will chew me out if she sees me talking to you.”

  “I found a robot rabbit.”

  “Could you at least pretend like you’re asking me questions about soap?” she whispered.

  “Right,” I whispered back. Speaking loudly, I said, “Hello, I’m interested in soap. What do you have that might make me smell better?”

  “That’s good,” she said softly. “We have some of the best soap in the world. All handmade, all-natural, these have cocoa in them.” Juliet handed me a small ball of soap.

  Lifting the soap to my nose, I tried to hide my mouth as I spoke.

  “When are you done? Something horrible is happening. We need to get Rain to let us borrow some of his bikes.”

  Juliet smiled and spoke without opening her mouth. “I want to help, but I need this job. It’s one of the few places that will pay me even though I’m not sixteen.”

  Grinning at her and trying to keep my lips from moving, I said, “So your boss is breaking child labor laws?”

  “Excuse me,” a thin man with a thin nose and sunken cheeks said. “Can I have a sample?”

  The man took one of the chocolate-looking soap balls and put it into his mouth before Juliet could warn him.

  “It’s soap,” she said. “Not a snack.”

  The man spit it out and walked into Soap It Up grumbling.

  “People do that all the time,” Juliet complained softly.

  “Maybe they shouldn’t flavor the soap with chocolate.”

  “I’m supposed to point out that it’s not candy before they take it. You’re throwing me off.”

  “Sorry,” I said insincerely. “I apologize for wanting to save the island from robot bunnies.”

  “You know, if anyone else told me there were robot bunnies, I would think they are joking. But you’re not that funny, plus the stuff we’ve seen makes me think you’re serious.”

  “First off, I am funny,” I insisted. “Remember that time I accidentally sneezed on that man’s salad at Café Ruffage?”

  “That was funny.”

  “Also, I’m not making this up. Just turn in your sample tray and . . .”

  “Miss Jordan!”

  My pleading was interrupted by Juliet’s boss, Ms. Purts. She had come out of Soap It Up and didn’t look happy.

  “People are eating the soap,” Ms. Purts complained. “It’s a simple job.”

  “Sorry,” Juliet apologized.

  “And who’s this?”

  “I’m a soap collector,” I told her. “I was going to walk by your establishment, but I saw these interesting samples being handed out in such a nice way.”

  Ms. Purts looked at me like I was a stain she needed to clean up. “Really? Well, if you’re a customer, either come into the shop and buy something or leave Juliet alone.”

  I was torn. I didn’t want to go into the store, and I didn’t want to leave Juliet. The safety of the island was at stake, and soap was bringing us all down.

  “I guess I’ll leave,” I told Ms. Purts.

  Juliet looked conflicted.

  “Now go,” Ms. Purts said curtly. “Oh, and Juliet, if I hear one more complaint, I’m going to have to let you go as well.”

  I looked at Juliet as Ms. Purts gave her the ultimatum. I’ll be honest, part of me felt like this was all my fault. I summoned my tough inner squid in an effort to find the courage to set Ms. Purts straight, but Juliet beat me to it.

  “Well, then how’s this for a final complaint,” Juliet said bravely. “Your soaps are oily, and they make my s
kin break out.”

  Ms. Purts gasped in horror.

  “Here.” Juliet handed her former boss the tray of samples. “It’s Bunny Break and there are robots we need to take care of. Also, your shop smells like a hospital.”

  All Ms. Purts could do was stand there sputtering and twitching.

  Juliet took off her apron and placed it on the tray.

  “Let’s go, Perry.”

  “Yes,” I agreed. “I will take my soap business elsewhere.”

  I took Juliet’s hand, and we moved quickly through the crowded mall.

  “I feel amazing,” Juliet said. “I hope I never see another bar of soap again.”

  There wasn’t time to worry about Juliet’s personal hygiene. We needed to get some bikes and get to warehouse fifty-six at Port O’Hare so we could put a stop to whatever Fuzzy was planning.

  “Where’s Rain’s business?” I asked.

  “At the back of the mall.”

  We walked against the crowd, past the Denture Depot and past the electric train, to the back entrance of the mall.

  Outside there was a long overhang that was keeping the rain off a section of concrete. Wet air blew in under the overhang as water continued to fall in the parking lot and surrounding jungle. Rain was standing beneath the overhang next to six orange bikes.

  “This is why I need to rent golf carts instead of bikes,” Rain complained as he saw us coming out of the door. “Nobody wants to pedal and get wet. It’s not like the water will kill you.”

  “I’m glad you said that,” I told him. “Because we’re all about to get wetter.”

  “What?” he asked. “Don’t you still have work, Juliet?”

  “I quit,” she said defiantly. “I’ll find a different job. Besides, who can work when the island is in trouble? According to Perry, Fuzzy has a secret warehouse.”

  I nodded. “Also, we’re going to find the Lost Hutchman’s Booty.”

  “You know that treasure’s not real,” Rain insisted.

  “You’d be surprised by what I don’t know.”