Seth... Saved

by Heather Mar-Gerrison

  Chapter 2 – Waking up...

  Seth

  I refused to accept that the sight of Joel again had any affect on me at all. I was just tired, that was all – working till three am and then getting up to be here for the interview at ten was, after all, kind of gruelling.

  I hadn’t been affected by anyone at all in the last few months since Siobhan had been killed and I hadn’t even wanted the guys to throw me a ‘back-to-work’ party, thinking it was kind of disrespectful to her memory – what the hell was there to celebrate? But then I got to wondering if I was maybe just over-indulging myself in my self-pity. Peyton was taking the time to come – and he’d loved her almost as much as I had. Kody was staying home with Will. In the end I’d figured that it was just churlish of me to ask them not to.

  Right at the end of the night, Harley’s brother appeared. To begin with I couldn’t place him but then I realised who he was. He’d been Harley’s best man at their wedding, and the more I thought about it, the more I really couldn’t deny that I’d noticed how very attractive he was at their wedding ceremony.

  My back-to-work party had been exhausting, but once again I couldn’t deny that he got my attention. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed him at all had he not gotten on a podium with Alfie and River but he did – and he totally shook his booty and all of a sudden, I was intrigued...

  I’d pushed it right to the back of my mind the morning after – it had to have just been the shots – I always got kind of silly when I did shots but doing shots when I hadn’t been allowed to drink for the best part of five months was bordering on suicidal... Being ridiculously drunk, I’d put it down to that. Hell, I’d only lost my girlfriend five months ago. There was no way I was going to be interested in someone new – and there was also the small fact that Joel was very much a guy – and I was straight.

  Still, I couldn’t deny that as much as I’d buried my curiosity about him, his name automatically sprung straight to the front of my mind when Chase and Roger both left within a few short weeks of each other and we became seriously short of dancers.

  I’d suggested his name to Rob who had smiled and nodded and said that Joel really must be good because Simon had suggested him to him in the first place and he was already shortlisted. I’d been a little taken-aback that Simon even knew him. He never usually took much notice of anyone...

  I was uncomfortably aware of my limp as I led Joel to Rob’s office. I really didn’t like the fact that he’d be able to see how badly I walked.

  What the hell had I been thinking, agreeing to be here this morning? It occurred to me that I was far too aware of Joel. Was he watching the way I walked? Was it obvious that I limped now? Did I walk in any particular way? Was he watching me? Or was he just looking around the rather impressive building? Fuck. I wish I knew...

  I turned and Joel jumped a little and averted his gaze, which, I have to admit seemed to be aimed at my backside. I could have been mistaken. Hell, I had to have been mistaken. He wasn’t going to be checking me out. Not now... Not since... Not that it mattered anyway... he didn’t need to know that I was having all these strange thoughts about him. He wouldn’t be interested in me anyway.

  I was invisible these days. Well, to the opposite sex in any case... and more than likely the same sex too... I did my job and I went home. I spend the weekends with Will, going to the park and visiting different theme parks or museums or just going shopping to a new place that we’d not been to before. I was okay and Will was definitely coming out of his darkness from losing his mother. One day, maybe, I’d follow suit...

  But I’d loved life with Siobhan. Loved being the man in her life. Loved being Will’s stepdad. Sure he had his real dad – and his dad’s partner too. Hell, Will told anyone who’d listen that he had three dads but no mum, which I found charming and heart breaking all at the same time. He and I had a special bond and as much as we still had that – Siobhan wasn’t there too... and I missed her so much, sometimes I felt as if I just wanted to die...

  I knocked on Rob’s office door and then opened it a little, “Rob?” I called out.

  “In here.” He called back.

  “Joel Fitzgerald is here to see you.”

  Rob appeared at the door with a big welcoming smile on his face, “Ah, Mr Fitzgerald,” he stuck his hand out to Joel, who I couldn’t help noticing, grabbed it heartily and shook it.

  I smiled at him and turned to leave them both to it. Rob clearly had other ideas, “Seth – join us – you can give Joel an insight as to what he can expect.”

  Supressing a sigh, I nodded, “Sure.” I agreed and followed Joel into the office. It was my turn to check out his great arse... What was that? I was not checking his arse out... I wasn’t...

  Chapter 3 – Labels...

  Joel

  I’ve got to be honest, I can hardly remember what Rob was saying for most of the interview. I was far too aware of Seth’s presence in the room. I hadn’t expected that he’d be part of the interview process and I was horribly nervous. I probably made a total tit of myself with the way I stuttered and stammered my way through the whole thing but I must have said or done something right – because I got the job anyway.

  I remember everything Seth said – and the way his eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled, even thought they were still awfully sad-looking. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest for him. I just wanted to see him happy again.

  He had the most deliciously deep voice when he spoke, although his tone was soft and almost melodious. He advised me that I should make my boundaries clear from the outset. If I didn’t want punters touching me or assuming that I was up for anything once I’d climbed down from my podium for my break, that I was to be firm with them – and the easiest way was to probably make up a boyfriend, “Unless you already have one, of course – and then it’s real easy.” He smiled again and raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow.

  My dick instantly took an interest. Was he subtly checking if I was dating? No of course he wasn’t. Don’t be stupid Joel.

  I nodded, “Yeah, good idea.” I said, “I don’t really fancy the idea of being mauled...”

  Rob chuckled, “Well, you say that now – wait until the pheromones hit you.”

  I shot a slightly alarmed look at Seth who grinned back at me and shook his head, “Relax, Joel – I’ll be right behind the bar every night – if you need my help, just shout out.”

  I nodded. “Thanks.” I said. I would definitely be shouting him...

  Rob eyed me with interest, “So, do you have a boyfriend?” He asked, “Or is that too presumptuous of me – you could of course have a girlfriend.”

  I nodded, “I could have a girlfriend,” I agreed, “Since I haven’t really decided if I’m gay or bi yet,” I shrugged, “But I’m not really into labels – I just fancy who I fancy, you know?”

  Rob smiled, “Yeah,” he said, “My son’s like that – he dated one of the regular dancers, River, for a while – but now he has a wife and a child.” He shrugged, “Live and let live, I say.”

  Well, that was a refreshing attitude.

  Seth had gone quiet. I sneaked a sideways glance at him and saw that he was looking down at his hands. There were tears in his eyes and to my dismay, one rolled down his cheek.

  I swear, if Rob hadn’t been there, I’d have shot out of my seat and wrapped him in a hug. I’d have kissed away his tears and got him to talk about it. He needed to get it out of his system. His girlfriend had been dead for six months... He needed someone else to fill the void she’d left...

  He needed me.

  *

  Rob must have noticed that Seth was distressed, since he asked him if he could bring in some coffee. Once he’d disappeared out of the room, Rob turned to me, “What do you know about Seth?” He asked.

  I blinked. How much was I supposed to be allowed to know? How much did Rob know about me and my visits to the hospital whilst he was in his coma? Harley had assured me that he and Alfie had never bre
athed a word but Simon had seen me there too and he’d put in the first good word for me with Rob so you never knew what it was he’d said back then... “Um...”

  Rob smiled, “Harley knows everything about it – from a personal perspective and from his job – so my question to you is this. What do you know about it?”

  I cleared my throat, “Well, I know he was in a relationship with Peyton McKenzie’s ex-girlfriend.” I hedged.

  He nodded, “And?”

  “And that he really loved her – and that he was in the car accident that killed her – and that he couldn’t save her and he’s been traumatised ever since.” All of this came out in a bit of rush, because I really didn’t want Seth coming back in to hear me gossiping about him.

  Rob nodded, “Okay – so you know that he’s still in a pretty bad place.”

  I nodded, “I guess.”

  He smiled, “He has more good days than bad now.” He smiled again, “I think you’ll be a good addition to the team.”

  Did he think I might be good for him? “Th-thanks.” I said a little breathlessly.

  He eyes me shrewdly, “Seth’ll be a good friend to you. Be a good friend to him too, won’t you?”

  I nodded. My heart started to thump in my chest like a good ‘un, “I will.” I said, “You can count on it.” I’d be a whole lot more than that, given half the chance...

  Rob smiled, “I thought I could.” He said, “Do you want to start tonight? Get a feel for the place and then we’ll start you properly, with fixed nights to work on from next week?”

  I nodded enthusiastically. The longer I was in Seth’s presence, the better as far as I was concerned. “Sure, what nights will I get?”

  He chewed his bottom lip, “Well, since Chase and Roger have now left – and since Simon’s gone really part time, giving more hours to that fabulous new business of his and Bailey’s, we’ve had to ask River, Alfie and Thai to increase their shifts – and they’ve done it quite willingly, but if you could do the nights that Roger used to do, we’ll be able to let River and Alfie go back to their regular hours – Simon was pretty flexible between dancing and bartending anyway – he was more often than not collecting glasses and helping out behind the bar than on his podium. Thai’s happy enough to cover Chase’s hours since he only did one night a week anyway and I’m sure well be able to fill Simon’s shoes at some point – but I know River and Alfie will appreciate the time back.”

  I nodded, “Sure.” What nights were those, though?

  Rob grinned, “Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to start with – and I might ask you to work Sunday’s in the future too – do you think you can do that?”

  Could I do that? Could I spend more time with the beautiful Seth? Fuck, yeah, I totally could.

  Chapter 4 – Nothing more than that...

  Seth

  I refused to acknowledge the little bubble of excitement in the pit of my belly that Joel was going to be working at the club. I’d had a kebab the night before on my way home from work and I was far happier lying to myself and putting it down to that not agreeing with me...

  Joel had left an hour ago and was due back tonight for his first practice shift. Rob was keen to let me know that he wanted me to be his kind of mentor.

  “He’s only young, Seth – and we don’t want another case like Alfie.”

  I nodded, “He’s not as naïve as Alfie was.” I said, “And he has Harley as an older brother too – he’s not stupid, Rob.”

  Rob smiled, “I never said he was either of those things but I’d still like you to show him the ropes – I think it might be good for both of you.”

  I raised an eyebrow. I was totally getting the impression that I was being pushed towards the guy. Not that I was complaining... “I may have mentioned this before,” I said as patiently as I could, since I couldn’t stand people interfering in my personal life, “but I’ll say it again, just in case you missed it, I’m straight.” Ish...

  Rob scratched his chin thoughtfully. “You weren’t all that straight when you were giving that big black guy head on the sofa a couple of years back.”

  Fuck. Why did everyone always focus on my faux pas? I shrugged, feeling my face heating up. He’d been hot. “Drunk.” I said.

  Rob rolled his eyes and nodded, “I’ve never been that drunk.” He countered.

  I looked him in the eye, “Well, he was sexy – and he had a big dick that he kept getting out and I guess I must have been horny.”

  Rob crossed his arms across his chest, “Most straight guys wouldn’t look twice. I think you’re bisexual, Seth – and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

  I shrugged, “I don’t want a label putting on me.” I muttered, echoing Joel’s words from earlier. I was damned sure that I was fucking straight – so what if I’d been curious in the past and I’d experimented? That was normal and lots of straight guys experimented – so why couldn’t anyone else see that?

  Rob grinned, “Then we won’t – but you’ve got to stop putting obstacles in the way of being happy again. Joel’s a nice kid. He’s good-looking, he’s single – and he’s totally got the hots for you.”

  I nodded. It wasn’t hard to see that he’d found me attractive. God only knew why, with my scars and my limp. “I’ll look out for him.” I said, “But there’ll be nothing more to it than that.”

  Chapter 5 – First night nerves...

  Joel

  I was sat at the bar. Frozen to the spot with terror was probably closer to the truth. I’d gotten the most dreadful case of stage fright. I’d been fine when I’d been dancing at Harley and Alfie’s wedding – and then again when I’d had a go on the day of my interview – but right now...

  “I can’t remember any of my moves.” I said to Seth in a panic.

  He chuckled and shook his head. Pushing a cup towards me, he smiled, “Drink that.” He said, “It’ll calm your nerves.”

  I eyed the pale lemony-green liquid suspiciously, “What the fuck is that?” I asked, pulling a face.

  He smiled, “Nothing sinister, I promise you – it’s camomile tea.”

  I nodded, “Ah, right.” Mum drank it before bed... I pulled the cup towards me and sniffed. It was definitely camomile. “Smells like home.” I murmured taking a sip.

  He smiled, “Yeah,” he agreed, looking pleased that I liked it, “It really does, doesn’t it?”

  I drank it all and whether it was the camomile that relaxed me or if it was just being with Seth – I felt instantly better.

  Seth nodded towards my podium, “You’ll be fine you know – once you’re up there.”

  I nodded, chewing my lip nervously, “Yeah,” I agreed, “Remind me again why I decided this was going to be a good idea?”

  Seth chuckled, the beautiful sound making my dick twitch, “Because you’re really good at it.” He said, “And you’ll know that yourself too, once the music starts to vibrate through your whole body.”

  I nodded. It was true. The music really did have an amazing effect on loosening me up. “Will you rescue me if some guy starts feeling me up?”

  Seth nodded, “I said I’d look after you and I will.” He promised.

  Thank fuck for that... “Thanks Seth, you’re a real friend.”

  He smiled and went a little pink, but he didn’t say anything else.

  The next second, the moment was totally ruined by Thai. He clapped me on the back and grinned at me, “So newbie, do you think you can handle dancing with me tonight?”

  I nodded, “Uh, sure.” I said, swallowing down the awful feeling of sickness that was threatening to engulf me again, “I think I can do that.”

  He winked, “We’ll have them eating out of the palms of our hands.” He said, “Five minutes – okay?”

  I nodded, “Five minutes,” I said faintly. Turning to Seth I slid off my stool quickly, “Oh, man.” I said, “I need the bathroom.”

  He lifted the section of the bar that allowed the staff through to the back and I shot through the gap a
nd ran to the bathroom, “Stop panicking!” he shouted after me with a very definite chuckle. Easy for him to say...

  Chapter 6 – Best Dad I could be...

  Seth

  I watched Joel with not a little pride. He was amazing up there. And I knew he would be – he’d just got a little bit scared, that was all.

  It was almost time for his break and I’d got to admit, I was feeling a little nervous for him. The guys were definitely interested in the fresh meat...

  It was quite disgusting how some of them looked at the dancers – as if they were just there to be taken advantage of.

  Guys like River and Thai took it all in their stride. But others were a little less flirtatious and just wanted to dance – and Alfie and Joel definitely fitted into that category. Simon had had a foot in both camps depending on his mood but since he’d met Bailey, they were far too busy getting their fledgling tattooing business together off the ground for him to come along anymore – he’d left on good terms with Rob and came back and danced occasionally – with Bailey, who was also pretty flexible. They looked amazing together.

  Everyone was pairing off these days. It was depressing... I’d thought I’d found the one in Siobhan. Well, I had found the one. She wasn’t supposed to die at only twenty-six leaving me feeling like a widower even though we’d never actually gotten married. We hadn’t even gotten engaged. I was going to ask her at on her birthday – but she didn’t make it...