“Hey, Seth.” I greeted him a little nervously.
He looked up and I was shocked to see that his eyes looked redder than usual, “Oh, morning Joel.”
I frowned, “Christ, dude,” I said, “You look exhausted.”
He shrugged, “I am exhausted.” He admitted, “I haven’t been sleeping so well.”
My frown deepened, “Maybe you should talk to someone...”
He looked at me as if I was something he’d just found on the underside of his shoe, “I don’t need anyone to talk to.” He snapped, “There’s nothing wrong with me.” He added defensively.
I blinked, “I uh, never thought there was... I’m sorry, Seth – just tell me to mind by own business. I’ve got a big mouth...”
His lips twitched at the corners and then finally he smiled at me, “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m just cranky this morning because I slept so badly – want a drink? I was just gonna get some coffee. Trying to keep awake until the wee hours on a couple of hours kip is kind of a killer without it.”
I nodded. “Tell me about it,” I rolled my eyes, “I didn’t sleep so well myself last night, either...”
He raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”
I sighed dramatically, “I might have to move back in with Mum, which is a total ball-ache because it’s miles away from here...”
Seth made all the right noises to sympathise but he certainly wasn’t gonna offer his spare room to me. It was time to grow a pair and come on out and ask him. “I don’t suppose you have a spare room I could rent, do you?”
Chapter 10 – New housemate...
Seth
Ohhh, fuck. I knew that one was coming – and I knew who’d spilled the fucking beans about me having a house that I was struggling to afford, too. It’d have been Alfie and Harley...
And I knew why I didn’t want him there too. It was nothing to do with keeping it a shrine to Siobhan. I wasn’t that sad... It was because he was too fucking good-looking and I was too damned attracted to him. I’d never felt this way about another guy before – well not when I was sober anyway...
Sure, I’d gotten drunk and fooled around with guys before but right now I was stone cold sober and I was definitely feeling things for Joel that I had no business feeling.
But this wasn’t about the way I felt about him and his beautiful face, and his body to die for and his sexy dancing. This was about helping out a mate in his hour of need. Fuck off with your raised eyebrows and your knowing grin – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
“I uh, well, yeah. I do, as it happens.” I said cagily, “If you uh, need a place to stay, you’re welcome to rent it off me.”
His face lit up, those glorious bright blue eyes almost glowed. “Wow, Seth,” he said in delight, “Are you sure?”
I nodded, completely mesmerised by his beauty. In that moment, I’d never been surer of anything in my life...
*
As much as I’d dreaded him moving in, once he was there, everything just got better. It was weird at first, particularly coming home to find a coat already hanging on my peg. Call me anal if you want to but I was pretty damned certain I’d told him which peg was his...
It was weird finding that he’d cooked dinner for us both, too. I was so used to living on my own and only feeding myself that I generally existed off sandwiches from the petrol station shop and apples. Yeah, I know apples aren’t the most exciting fruit in the world but they were my favourites and I liked them any way at all – juicy or not, I didn’t really care. Apple pie was my all-time favourite pudding, with custard, of course...
Suddenly my life was no longer silent at home. It was always full of bangs and running feet and singing. Joel was a joy to have around. He sang or hummed when he was in the kitchen and the bathroom, he would jump over the back of the sofa and land next to me to watch our favourite soap together in the afternoons – on catch-up of course, since we were never in together in the evenings and he even came out with me one weekend with Will...
I was beginning to feel very relaxed around him. We were totally becoming the best of friends and I was happier than I’d been since Siobhan was alive.
I should have seen it coming but I didn’t – so when the inevitable finally happened, I did what all guys who are in denial do – I freaked out completely and went to hide under a rock...
Chapter 11 – The Way to Seth’s heart...
Joel
Moving in with Seth was the best thing ever to happen to me.
He was definitely reluctant to have me around to begin with and he kept himself very much to himself.
But call me an interfering little busy-body if you will – I didn’t want him to have nothing to do with me – so I made damned sure that he had to spend time with me.
I’d always been pretty good at food technology back in school and I’d remembered quite a lot. I also loved watching all the TV chefs doing their thing and I’d learned quite a lot of new things from watching them. There were so many things I fancied trying out – and having all day, every day off and a really brilliantly equipped kitchen now that I lived with Seth, I started to whip up a few gourmet meals... Mum always said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Well, it was totally time to test that theory...
The first time I cooked for us, I was really worried that he’d refuse to eat with me – even I thought the table set intimately just for the two of us was a little too much but it was too late to unset it once it was done as I heard his key in the door.
Seth got a full day off once every fortnight and he usually spent it going out shopping and then picking up Will from school and spending a couple of hours with him before heading back home and sleeping for the rest of the day. It was quite a relief to know that he did actually catch up on his sleep from time to time. All that lack of sleep couldn’t be good for his health...
I heard him muttering under his breath in the hallway. Fuck! I’d put my coat on his hook again, hadn’t I?
I smiled apologetically at him as he walked in.
He grinned back at me, sniffing the air and raising his eyebrows, “Something smells good.” He said.
I nodded, “I cooked us dinner.” I said, suddenly feeling unbelievably nervous. What if he didn’t like it? Fuck, what if he was a vegetarian or something? What if he was a vegan who lived off grass patties or whatever it was that those freaks ate? What then?
“What are we having?” He asked, coming over to the oven and peering through the glass door that was pristinely clean at the moment – it wouldn’t stay like that for long with me around...
“Well, it’s only roast pork,” I started, “But I’ve done a home-made stuffing with sausage meat and apple and herbs...”
He looked at me with his mouth slightly open, “With apple?” He asked. I nodded. “And it’s not a packet mix?” He added faintly.
I shook my head, “No, I dried the breadcrumbs myself... and I got the apples off that lady who lives at the end of the street. I was admiring her tree – have you seen the blossom on it?” I asked, seeing the look of slight amazement on his face I didn’t wait for an answer; he probably thought I was completely barking mad, “she gave me a bagful out of her shed – she stores them all through the winter through to early summer – that’s incredible...” Well, I thought it was incredible anyway. I had no idea they could be stored for so long. She’d really opened my eyes to how you could really preserve your harvest. And she’d been so damned sweet giving me so many... I’d been peeling all morning and had enough cooked apple to keep us in applesauce or pie filling for a good six months in the freezer.
“Oh, wow.” Seth breathed, “I love that tree...”
I smiled, “Yeah,” I agreed, “Me too. I’ve done roast potatoes to go with it and carrots and broccoli, which I know are a bit boring but that was all we had in the fridge.”
He nodded, “Oh, my God. Sounds amazing.” He murmured, “When are we eating?”
I smiled, “Now, if you like. Or if you�
��d rather go and get a shower...” I tried my best not to imagine him in the shower but I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t easy...
He nodded, “Have I got time for a quick shower? I’m not gonna ruin dinner?”
I shook my head, “You’ve got time,” I said, “Shall I pour us a glass of wine each?” Yes. I’d bought a bottle of wine to go with dinner. I really was going all out to woo him...
He nodded, flashing me a delightful smile, “Sounds great.”
*
“Wow,” Seth said as he pushed his plate away from him, “That was fucking awesome. You can really cook!”
I grinned at him and nodded, “Yeah,” I said, “It really wasn’t half bad, was it?”
He grinned at me, “It was amazing and you know it.” He said.
I grinned back at him. “Another glass of wine?” I held the bottle up.
He smiled and nodded, “Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr Fitzgerald?” He asked, raising one eyebrow and looking sexier than I’d ever seen him.
I shook my head, “Not at all, Mr Matthews,” I replied playfully. “But since we don’t have to be anywhere until tomorrow night, I thought it might be nice to relax with a glass or two...”
He nodded, “You’re right,” he agreed, “it is, go on then, I will have another one.”
I got up and took the bottle around to his side of the table.
As I leaned over to pour him a glass he pulled me down and planted a kiss on my cheek, “Thank you.” He said, “For cooking. It’s really nice to be looked after.”
I turned my head. We were nose to nose, perfectly lined up for a kiss. All it would take would be for me to lean in a little closer and we could totally do it... I took a deep breath and stood up instead. Call me a coward, but I really wasn’t brave enough to go in for a kiss with a straight man – or with a man who believed himself to be straight – not on only one glass of wine anyway.
He huffed a bit of a laugh and I totally got the feeling he was feeling every bit as turned on by me as I was him. This was torture. Every nerve in my body just wanted to wrap him up in my arms and kiss him until he was totally breathless...
I went to sit back down. “Fancy watching a movie with me?” I asked, feeling sure my voice was coming out all weird.
He nodded, “Sure, what did you have in mind?”
I shrugged, “Shall we just see what’s on Netflix?”
He nodded again, “Sure,” he agreed, “Come on – let’s go and sit down in the lounge. I’ll put the stove on.”
He went to set the fire and I cleaned up.
I went to join him shortly after to find him sat on the sofa. He’d put my glass with his on the coffee table that sat in front of the sofa.
It was all cosy and romantic-looking in the room. He’d lit the candles on the mantelpiece and the lights were off. The TV was on and the dancing flames of the wood-burning stove were kind of mesmerising.
“Oh, this looks great.” I murmured as I slid into the seat next to him.
He looked up at me, his dark brown eyes looking incredibly sexy in the half-light, “Yeah, it really works doesn’t it?”
I nodded. It was totally working for me. I was sporting the biggest boner I’d had in a while – thankfully I had a shirt on that was long enough to hide my desire for my roomy. I wasn’t all that sure he’d be happy about the fact that I was hard for him.
“This wine is so good.” Seth murmured as he tipped his glass back and emptied it for the second time.
I nodded, “It is pretty good isn’t it? I like a decent Shiraz...”
He nodded, “Is it a Shiraz?” He asked, sounding surprised, “Wow. It’s really good, yeah.”
“Shall we finish this bottle up and have another?”
He grinned at me, his dark eyes dancing in the low lighting, “Why not?” He asked, “We don’t have work in the morning.”
With my heart in my mouth I made my way to the kitchen for the second bottle. Would he wake up in the morning believing that I’d engineered the whole thing just to start something between us? Was I completely crazy and just so smitten with him that I was imagining his interest in me? Shit. What the fuck did I think I was doing, chasing a straight guy? This was definitely gonna end in tears – and make no mistake, they’d definitely be my tears...
I leaned over to pour his wine. He looked up at me as I poured. I looked back at him. His mouth looked so damned inviting. Without really thinking about my actions and the consequences of what I was doing, I took his glass off him and placed it on the coffee table and then I turned back to him. Seth’s brows were drawn together in a little frown of confusion.
“I know you’re straight and everything but I just really want to kiss you.” I whispered before crashing my mouth down on his. Fuck. His lips were every bit as soft and delicious as I thought they’d be.
For a moment he didn’t respond. He just sat there, stunned, but then, to my surprise and utter delight, his arms circled my waist and he started kissing me back – really quite enthusiastically.
I pulled his shirt free from his jeans and started to run my hands up his back.
He pulled away, “Don’t do that.” He said.
I was too concerned with the fact that he’d stop kissing me to wonder why he didn’t want me to touch his body so I put my hands back to a safer place – his waist – and carried on kissing him, bumping teeth and noses as I desperately licked into his mouth. He was like my own personal drug that I really couldn’t get enough of...
He was moaning into my mouth and in total contrast to his request that I didn’t touch him, his hands were fucking everywhere, which was a major turn on. His fingers fumbled with the buttons on my jeans and then he wrapped his hand around my cock and started to work me. Oh. My. God... finally. I was actually fooling around with the man of my most erotic dreams... Seth Matthews.
Chapter 12 – Oh, shit... I didn’t, did I?
Seth
I woke up with a bit of a start. It was still quite dark which was a bit of a surprise for the time of year. I never usually woke up much before ten but it was always really light by then – so what fucking time was it?
I patted my bedside table until I found my phone and switched it on. Oh, my God. It was only five forty-five. Jesus. What the hell? It had been such a late night too and oh, God, my head was definitely thumping...
As the events of the evening before started to filter back through my mind, shame started to envelope me. What the fuck had possessed me to drink all of that wine? And what the fuck did I think I was doing, allowing Joel to kiss me?
Ohh, fuck... He hadn’t just been kissing me either if my memory served me correctly. There had been so much more than that. Shit. Why did I do things like that when I was drunk? Holy shit. He was just about the most beautiful thing on this earth – and I had absolutely no idea what to do with that knowledge. I felt as if I was betraying Siobhan and everything she’d meant to me if I turned out to be what everyone had always thought – that I was actually gay...
But I didn’t feel gay. Yes, I grant you that sucking another guy’s cock is just about as gay as it gets – not that I’d done that with Joel – well, not yet anyway, although I couldn’t deny that I’d imagined it a few times... I didn’t want just anyone. I didn’t fancy anyone else... I just fancied Joel... I lay there, staring blindly up at the ceiling as the total realisation of my feelings hit me like a punch in the gut. Fuck. I really fancied Joel.
I groaned and buried my head under my pillow in a vain attempt to get a few more hours sleep even though my mind was now going at a million miles an hour. What the hell was I going to do? How was I supposed to face Joel in the morning?
*
Having done everything possible to stay out of Joel’s way and therefore avoiding any kind of awkwardness between us, I successfully managed to get to work without seeing him once. I’ll grant you that it involved leaving the house well before ten o’clock in the morning and hiding in the coffee bar in town for most of the day,
which you could say was really cowardly but still...
I walked into the bar at six o’clock in the evening, feeling as if everyone would know what I’d done with Joel the night before. I looked around. Joel was nowhere in sight, which was all at once a relief and a disappointment all rolled into one pretty overwhelming feeling. Hell, if I’m honest, it was kind of terrifying. What if he’d gotten here early and had told them all what we’d done?
I slid behind the bar, hoping that I was as invisible as I usually was. No such luck.
Buzz appeared from the staff area almost as soon as I’d picked up my apron, “Hey, Seth!” He called loudly enough that I wanted to wince. Why the fuck had I thought two bottles of wine were a good idea last night? Seriously, I was losing the plot. I had to be. It was the only explanation...
“Wh-What?” I stammered, looking around wildly.
He grinned, “Me and the guys are playing a game – can you say the alphabet backwards?”
I snorted, “Course I can.” I said confidently, “It’s easy.”
He raised his eyebrows, “Lads!” He shouted gleefully, “The challenge has been accepted! Our very own literary genius, Seth...”
Suddenly the place was full of staff members and their various spouses. River and Jodie, Thai, Simon and Bailey, Buzz’s boyfriend Franz was hanging around quietly in the background, a little smile on his lips and then I spotted Alfie, Harley and oh, fuck – there was Joel... I swallowed and my mind went a total blank. All I could think about was his lips against mine last night and his wonderfully touchy-feely hands...
Stop it! Stop right there!
“Ready?” Buzz grinned.
Seth... Saved Page 4
