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Major Detours

Page 24

by Zachary Sergi


  “In many ways, Perilli envisioned a new and unrecognizable ‘world to come,’ one of digital connection and divisive isolation. He thus believed in preparing his ‘Four Corners’ differently for that world. However poetic these Corners remain, they have not been effective at much else besides collecting and quibbling. As so often happens, the Corners have not practiced what was preached. Is this because Carson Perilli himself preached openness and thinking for oneself, while in actuality he practiced exclusivity and division? Or is it because the qualities that make each Corner unique can all exist within each of us?

  “This choice is not ours alone to make. We here at The Lianist Foundation believe that religions most often proclaim: I have the answers, come with me and I’ll tell you. In contrast, we believe true spirituality instead proclaims: You already have the answers, let me help you find them. Religions can of course harness spirituality in this way, though they so often do not. In this regard, the primary aspiration of The Lianist Way is not to provide the answer, but to pose the question. So, Chase, what do you think about the Corners?”

  To my left, my mirrored image populates the Ace of Wands. Seeing myself hold the most potent of wands, I recall it represents the spark of life that lives within the flame of destruction. Then to my right, I become my Major Arcana expression, The Emperor. Seeing myself actually depicted alone on the throne and ready to lead feels especially powerful—but is that how I’m meant to feel, given the information I entered into this reading system?

  “We can each individually wield all qualities of the four Corners, like the Ace of Wands.”

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  “Each Corner possesses fundamental truths to fulfill, like The Emperor.”

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  Once I answer, an identical transition process triggers before Waite offers the next guiding steps.

  “Here at The Lianist Foundation we seek to improve upon some tenets treasured in Perillianism, as these in turn were inspired by the nineteenth-century tarot-centric Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Hermit you have become, you have entered one of the most important sequences of this Hermetic Dawn.

  “Carson Perilli was surely an insightful artist who had a special way of reading the gorgeous tarot he created. However, Perilli’s undeniable connection to the tarot seems to have also made him a bit of a charismatic leader to his many followers. He was thinking of founding a physical center just like this one, but when his terminal diagnosis arrived, he spent the last months of his life devising one final deck that has yet to surface. This was perhaps for the best, since a true cult might have formed under his centralization.

  “Accordingly, we have adopted a new name, The Lianist Way, to bridge Perilli’s tarot past to its future. Here, there are no leaders and followers. There are only the guides and the curious, two roles we see as fluid and collaborative. So, Chase, what do you think? Was Carson Perilli an insightful man who created an alluring but flawed system? Or could we be wrong—was Perilli truly connected in a higher way to the truth of the tarot?”

  The lights shift, and to my left my mirrored image becomes The Hierophant, wearing regal robes and standing before a crowd of eager patrons. Meanwhile, to the right I become the King of Wands, wielding an enormous tree-branch wand and riding over the desert toward a distant pentacle star. It’s fascinating—the guardian of uncompromising wisdom versus the champion of passionate conviction, two sides of the same coin.

  “Perilli’s teachings were wise and accessible, like The Hierophant.”

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  “Perilli’s insights were prophetic and powerful, like the King of Wands.”

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  The now-familiar transition process triggers and Waite continues.

  “Chase, it’s clear by now how deeply you value individual agency. Taking this path, you might be most drawn to the more practical trails of The Lianist Way. On its most foundational level, the tarot is about peering into ourselves via our potential futures—it’s about divination. But Perilli believed true divination meant using the tarot’s symbols and predictions to look within ourselves for the answers we seek.

  “A profound notion, to be sure, but what does this belief mean in practice? The potential answers can lead you down one of two foundational Lianist trails. The first leads to the development of a unique meditative practice, using tarot readings like this one to identify patrons’ truest gifts and center their connection to their intuition. The second Lianist trail involves putting this faith into practice. After all, it does not take Perillian-like vision to see that a time of peril is upon us, a brave new digital world of environmental crisis. This trail seeks to solve the problems of the modern era and the unforeseen problems to come. In this vein, we aim to establish both a think tank and a charitable branch of the Foundation, to enact actual change.”

  In the left panel, my entire reflection vanishes into the bright and full visage of The Moon. I know The Moon acts as a symbol of mystery to remind us that, even after learning much, we must remain humble and open. Looking to my right, I see myself enter the Two of Pentacles, standing between two stars hanging above diverging streams. The card represents the restoration of balance between opposing forces and reminds us it’s best to go with the flow instead of bracing for control.

  Considering these “trails” before me, I realize they speak to questions I’ve held for years, the core of where I feel most undecided. Just what is it that I hope to accomplish? What do I really have to offer? I expect my usual grip of paralysis to set in, because deep down I know I still don’t have a firm grasp of the “correct” answer.

  However, to my surprise, I feel an unexpected calm settle in the face of this choice. Maybe it’s the cumulative effect of this journey, or maybe it’s just entering this Sworn space, or maybe it’s even Rosa’s read forcing me to see myself as I really am…

  But I suddenly feel comfortable knowing the imperfect answer is the only one I’ll ever have.

  “I see myself adopting a meditative practice, because The Moon reminds me that answering one question simply leads to the discovery of a deeper question.”

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  “I see myself actively making a difference, embracing the harnessed energy of the Two of Pentacles.”

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  The now-familiar transition process triggers and Waite continues.

  “Chase, it’s quite clear by now how deeply you feel the pull of destiny, the power in owning that which you were born into. On its most foundational level, the tarot is about peering into ourselves via our potential futures. A profound notion, to be sure, but what does this mean in actual practice? The answers can lead you down one of two foundational Lianist trails.

  “The first views fortune-telling as prophecy, performed by gifted readers like Perilli. We’re recruiting those gifted with the skill of tarot divination, as a form of collaborative prayer—a way to deliver messages to and from your spirit guides. We’re facilitating conversations with higher powers, whichever one you believe in.

  “The second trail leads to tarot readings that focus on embracing future visions and working to actually manifest them. This more psychological practice operates on the belief that fortunes don’t come true unless we will them to, empowering the unconscious link between intention and outcome. This style of reading leans most heavily into the physical reactions to tarot readings—sense memory, dreams, and emotions—to devise personal action plans.”

  In the left panel, the Ten of Cups stack around me in the outline of a house. This feels fitting, since this card represents working with others to successfully build something. Then, looking to my right, my image becomes The Empress. It’s odd at first, seeing myself projected as Amelia’s Major Arcana expression. Seeing myself this way, I wonder—can I be more bold like Amelia, in the ways I’ve always wanted?

  Considering these “trails” before me, I realize they speak to questions I’ve held for years—especially the fundamental debate that has always existed between Log
an and Amelia. I expect my usual grip of paralysis to set in the face of this choice, because deep down I know I still don’t have a firm grasp of the “correct” answer.

  However, to my surprise, I feel an unexpected calm settle. Maybe it’s the cumulative effect of this journey, or maybe it’s just entering this Sworn space, or maybe it’s even Rosa’s read forcing me to see myself as I really am, but I suddenly feel comfortable knowing the subjective answer is the only one I’ll ever have. There’s only ever going to be the right answer for me—and I have to learn to listen to the inner voice that points toward this answer.

  “I see myself learning how to read the tarot as a form of communicative prayer, in the spirit of the Ten of Cups.”

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  “I see myself learning how to read the tarot as a form of behavioral therapy, like The Empress.”

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  The lights shift, and the mirrored panels dim. I expect my image to transform into another card, a clean-cutting sword or a gleaming prism full of rainbow lines. Instead, the mirrors return to normal, reflecting me exactly as I am.

  “You’ve reached your reading’s end,” Waite says. “Only you know what you learned from this experience and what you’re called to do next. Will you begin to study the Lianist meditative practice? My record of this pathway will soon be overwritten, so as always, the choice is yours. Before we part ways, I’d like to leave you with one final pearl of Lianist wisdom. The custom quote selected for you comes from the ever-wise Eckhart Tolle: It’s okay not to know what to do next. The person who cannot enjoy the uncertainty of the journey is going to be in a constant state of negativity and fear. If everything were already mapped out, there’d be no evolution.”

  These new words echo in mind as I stare back at myself. I am indeed someone who thinks and plans, but if I’ve learned anything on this journey of detours, it’s that aptitude is not the same as life experience. The latter is wild and untamed. So what if it were okay to be less put-together? After all, what I love most about Amelia and Cleo and even Logan is their messiness, vibrant and alive.

  I feel the urge to thank Waite, even though I know no one is technically there. Just like I know this sudden shift in me isn’t so sudden at all—it’s been gathering steam every step of this trip. This experience, this hall of crystal-clear refractions, has only sharpened that change. Except now I don’t feel quite as terrified by the idea of change. Now, I feel like it might actually stand to work in my favor.

  Which means I do know, in the center of myself, what I need to do with Logan before this last chapter ends.

  Next, the seams on one of doors across the room lights up yellow, indicating my way out. Feeling ready to finish what we started, I walk through this illuminated exit. When I emerge, I find Brendan waiting for me in a sun-soaked room.

  “Chase, one of your friends will be signaled to enter behind you, but I wanted to be here when you exited,” Brendan says, smiling wide as ever. “It’s important to say that I don’t know what you learned or saw in The Hermetic Dawn, but the door you exit through does signal the tone of your reading. I must admit, I’m rather thrilled you were guided through the yellow door. Those who take this path have the clearest point of view.”

  I can’t fight the look of surprise that hits me. Clearest point of view? That’s not a phrase I’d normally apply to myself.

  Then again, this is one new way I’m learning to see myself. So I need to stop confusing the ability to evolve with a lack of conviction.

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  The lights shift and the mirrored panels dim. I expect my image to transform into another card, a steep-edged cliff side or a colorful gemstone reflecting the light. Instead, the mirrors return to normal, reflecting me exactly as I am.

  “You’ve reached your reading’s end,” Waite says. “Only you know what you learned from this experience and what you’re called to do next. Will you learn the secret methods behind Lianist tarot readings? My record of this pathway will soon be overwritten, so as always, the choice is yours. Before we part ways, I’d like to leave you with one final pearl of Lianist wisdom. The custom saying selected for you was actually coined by one of our own founders: Worrying about things you cannot control is a natural human function, but it is also a waste of time. All you can every truly control is your perspective and your reactions to the detours that come your way. So, fledgling Lianist, I leave you with this task: every time you have a worry about the future, instead focus on something to be grateful for in the present. It’s a small shift, but you’d be surprised how much a tiny shift in perspective can change for you.”

  These new words echo in mind as I stare back at myself, unadorned. I am indeed someone who worries constantly, who loves to control whatever I can. I’ve been so focused on what I might lose when this chapter ends, it never even occurred to me that letting go of the old things might make room for something even better. I’ve been so terrified of changing my relationship with Amelia or of losing Logan, but what if I just found a way to be grateful to have them in my life, no matter what?

  I feel the urge to thank Waite, even though I know no one is technically there. Just like I know this sudden shift in me isn’t so sudden at all—it’s been gathering steam every step of this trip. This experience, this hall of crystal-clear refractions, has only sharpened that change. Except now I don’t feel quite as terrified by the idea of change. Now, I feel like it might actually stand to work in my favor.

  Which means I do know, in the center of myself, what I need to do with Logan before this last chapter ends.

  Next, the seams on one of doors across the room lights up yellow, indicating my way out. Feeling ready to finish what we started, I walk through this illuminated exit. When I emerge, I find Brendan waiting for me in a sun-soaked room.

  “Chase, one of your friends will be signaled to enter behind you, but I wanted to be here when you exited,” Brendan says, smiling wide as ever. “It’s important to say that I don’t know what you learned or saw in The Hermetic Dawn, but the door you exit through does signal the tone of your reading. I must admit, I’m rather thrilled you were guided through the yellow door. Those who take this path have the clearest point of view.”

  I can’t fight the look of surprise that hits me. Clearest point of view? That’s not a phrase I’d normally apply to myself.

  Then again, this is one new way I’m learning to see myself. So I need to stop confusing the ability to understand multiple perspectives with a lack of direction.

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  The lights shift and the mirrored panels dim. I expect my image to transform into another card, a rocky plateau or a shiny diamond, hardened and gleaming. Instead, the mirrors return to normal, reflecting me exactly as I am.

  “You’ve reached your reading’s end,” Waite says. “Only you know what you learned from this experience and what you’re called to do next. Will you empower yourself to practice what you preach on behalf of the tarot? Will you work to change your corner of the world in whatever ways you can? My record of this pathway will soon be overwritten, so as always, the choice is yours. Before we part ways, I’d like to leave you with one final pearl of Lianist wisdom. The custom saying selected for you comes from the mystic scholar Rumi: You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”

  These new words echo in mind as I stare back at myself, unadorned. I realize I am indeed someone who has thought little of myself, assuming I wasn’t what most people wanted. I reduced myself to Smart Chase, a useful distraction from the parts of me I thought were dull and plain and ugly. But what if I found a way to look at myself the way Seidon did? Or Rosa? Or even Logan, for so many years? The proof has been all around me, so why am I the last one to see it?

  I can’t wait to discover what changes for me if I start seeing myself as someone who is a leader, someone who is fundamentally lovable.

  I feel the urge to thank Waite, even though I know no one is technically there. Just like I know this sudden
shift isn’t so sudden at all—it’s been gathering steam every step of this trip. This experience, this hall of crystal-clear refractions, has only sharpened that change. Except now I don’t feel quite as terrified by the idea of change. Now, I feel like it might actually stand to work in my favor.

  Which means I do know, in the center of myself, what I need to do with Logan before this last chapter ends.

  Next, the seams on one of doors across the room lights up orange, indicating my way out. Feeling ready to finish what we started, I walk through this illuminated exit. When I emerge, I find Brendan waiting for me in a sun-soaked room.

  “Chase, one of your friends will be signaled to enter behind you, but I wanted to be here when you exited,” Brendan says, smiling wide as ever. “It’s important to say that I don’t know what you learned or saw in The Hermetic Dawn, but the door you exit through does signal the tone of your reading. I must admit, I’m rather pleased that you were guided through the orange door. Those who take this path are still the most open to sorting out what they believe and what they have to offer.”

  I can’t fight the look of disappointment that comes over my face. That does sound like me—Chase, ever undecided, even after slicing epiphanies.

  But then I force myself to see myself differently. I need to keep reminding myself that remaining open is not the same thing as being undefined.

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  “If your Hermetic Dawn experience was anything like mine, you probably have lots to process,” Brendan continues. “I know I shouldn’t be adding to the pile, but I’m afraid I do have a rather exciting offer. Though, first, I must ask—what did you think of the experience?”

 

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