by Tanya South
Then they finally showed up. Mom and Dad walked into my room with the detective. The look on Mom’s face worried me.
“Hi, Sweetheart,” Dad said as Mom hugged me. “Detective Fitz is here to talk with us.”
“Hi Natasha,” Detective Fitz said. He wore a grey suit jacket, button-down white shirt, and grey slacks.
“Hi,” I replied.
“We have some good news, but I need to ask you some more questions.”
I looked over at Mom and Dad, then him. “Okay,” I said.
“The good news is that we had a couple of witnesses come forward. One of the witnesses said on the same day you escaped, they saw two men and one young woman earlier that morning that left the room where they held you captive. One of the men and the young woman she described matched the composite sketch. You mentioned a bunch of other men, too. I know you said you don’t remember what they looked like. But was there another man with Kage the day you were abducted?”
“No. The day I left with Lucinda and met Kage, he was the only man there.”
“Natasha, I have a composite sketch of the other man that the witness saw with Kage and Lucinda. Is it okay if I show you? I just want to know if he looks familiar.” He took out a big piece of paper out of his brown envelope folder.
I looked at the sketch. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. But why? I didn’t know who this man was. He frightened me. The words were stuck in my mouth.
“Sweetheart?” Mom said. “What’s the matter? Do you recognize him?”
“No. I don’t recognize him. It’s strange, but he does look familiar to me,” I said, trembling. “I don’t remember him being one of the men who attacked me. But then again, everything from that time seems like a blur.”
“We think these two men are working together. It’s believed they are trafficking young girls into prostitution. And the young female who’s working with them is what we call their recruiter,” the detective explained to my parents.
“Oh, my goodness. What makes you think that?” Mom asked him.
“Well, the witnesses that came forward said that these two men and young woman had been staying at this motel for at least three months. They’ve been seen with other young women.”
“What? Are you kidding me? How come no one called the police?” Dad fumed.
“Well, that’s just it,” the detective replied. “There was never any disturbance or anyone seen hurt or distressed. After all, it is a motel. They see all kinds of people check in and out all the time. We also checked with the manager and the room was being rented under a husband and wife name. It’s obvious the names Kage and Lucinda are not their real names. One puzzling question we have is, why did they let Natasha go? Why she was left behind? It’s a mystery. But thank God she was. Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy, she’s very lucky to be alive.”
“I want those animals found,” Dad said furiously. “I won’t rest until they are found and arrested.”
“We are doing our best, Mr. McCarthy. I give you my word I personally will do everything to find who did this to Natasha,” Detective Fitz promised.
“Thank you so much,” Mom said to him.
I started to see bits and glimpses of those long days and nights in that room of torture. And all I could remember were images of figures. But it was as if none of them had faces. I just couldn’t focus. I had been in and out of consciousness the entire time. It frustrated me that I just couldn’t remember.
“Natasha, you’ve done good. You’re a very brave girl. If it weren’t for the detailed descriptions that you gave of Kage and Lucinda, we wouldn’t have these other witnesses,” the detective said. “Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy, I will be in touch. And, Natasha, if you remember anything else, please let your parents know so they can call me, okay?”
“Yes, I will,” I promised.
After spending most of the day with Mom and Dad, I couldn’t wait to sit with Mia. She and I were bonding. I didn’t have siblings. I began feeling like she was the sister I never had. She’d also mentioned that she needed to tell me something important. I wondered what it could’ve been.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SILENCE ISN’T GOLDEN
JOSHUA 1:9
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
“What’s her name?”
“Natasha. I did good, right boss?’
“Where did you find this one again?”
“She was one of the girls I found at the hospital.”
“We gotta get outta here.”
“I’m sorry. You said to find girls that looked like her. You said—”
“I know what I said!” yelled the man. “I told you to bring me pictures first! Didn’t I?”
“Ahh…”
“Didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did. I’m sorry. I just figured she was exactly what you were looking for.”
“We need to get out here, now!”
“Wait, what about Natasha?”
“We leave her behind.”
“But…”
“But nothing! Let’s get out of here now!”
My eyes opened. I sat up quickly. I wasn’t sure if I’d just dreamed the whole thing or if it were a memory that surfaced. It was confusing. I could hear the voices, but see no faces. The man’s voice definitely wasn’t Kage’s voice. How could I forget his voice? It was deep and eerie. I’d recognize his voice anywhere. Was there really another man with Kage and Lucinda? If so, I definitely didn’t see him or meet him.
“Hey.” It was Mia; she startled me.
“Oh hi,” I said. “How long were you standing there?”
“Only about a minute. I didn’t want to wake you. I can come back, if you want.”
“No, no. Come in. Hey, I was thinking of reading the book of John today. What do you think?”
“It really doesn’t make a difference to me,” Mia said with a concerned look on her face.
“What’s the matter, Mia?” I asked.
“Ahh, nothing.”
“I can tell something is wrong.”
“Ah. It’s just today is one of those days.”
“Talk to me.”
“I’m worried about what kind of mom I’m going to be. I didn’t grow up with a mom myself. None of my foster parents really cared about me.”
“You’re going to be a good mom. You’re gonna be good because you are going to give your baby everything you didn’t get.”
“I haven’t given up finding Junior, either. I can’t understand why he would take off on us.”
“I know it’s hard, Mia. But you have to try to focus on getting healthy for you and your baby.”
“How can I protect my baby?” Mia said worriedly.
“What do you mean Mia?” I asked.
“Well…um.” The words got stuck in her mouth. As I looked on, she looked hesitant to speak.
“What is it?” I asked her again.
Mia began crying. I walked over to her and she cried on my shoulder. I rubbed her back, trying to console her.
“I had a foster dad who hurt me when I was young,” she said.
“Oh no. I’m sorry, Mia. How did he hurt you?” I asked.
“It’s really hard to talk about it.”
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m here for you when you need me or ready to talk.”
Mia sobbed as I hugged her again, and then she said, “He took away my innocence. I never told anyone because he said no one would believe me anyway.” She continued to cry. “And what did it matter if I did tell someone? The damage was already done.”
I felt a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I battled at that very moment whether or not to speak my truth to her. What were the chances that she went through the same thing I did? This was my chance to really help her. But I couldn’t muster up the courage to share my story with her. Fear had me chained to my secret. Suddenly, my tears couldn’t be held b
ack as I cried with her. She had visited that dark and lifeless garden, too.
“Aww, look what I’ve done. I’m older than you and should be trying to help you instead of you helping me,” Mia said through her sobs.
“No, please. It’s okay, Mia. I know this is gonna sound weird. But you are helping me,” I said to her.
“I hope the God that you believe in helps me to protect my baby the best way that I can,” Mia replied. “I’ll never leave my baby alone with anyone. Except you, Natasha. I trust you. I never thought I’d say that to any living soul.”
“God will protect you and your baby. Thank you for trusting me.”
“How do you suppose your God will protect us? He didn’t protect me.”I didn’t know how to answer that question. I had struggled in the past with that question, too. “Mia, I believe that there are going to be some things in life we won’t know the answers to. What I can tell you is that I believe that you’re alive for a purpose. And now you’ve been given the gift of carrying life, too.”
“I’m scared, Natasha.”
“Mia, you’re safe here and so is your baby. You just do all you can to be the best mom you can be.” I felt silly saying those words to her. I just didn’t know what else I could say. I myself felt a little scared. The difference was I believed God was with me. But she didn’t believe at all.
“What am I going to do without Junior? What if I never find him? What if something terrible has happened to him? This just isn’t fair.” Mia just cried hopelessly. All I could do was hold her.
The day quickly went. I’d spent pretty much the whole day with Mia. I read to her. I prayed for her. Once I had been finally back in my room, the wheels wouldn’t stop turning in my head. I felt like a big hypocrite. How could Mia trust someone who couldn’t even share her own testimony with her? In one sense, I had been too afraid. In the other, I felt that if I opened up about myself to her, she wouldn’t be able to get closer to God. She would think that maybe there was no hope. I couldn’t take the chance of being responsible for making her feel worse than she already did. I felt I was in over my head with all of this. Immediately, I prayed:
Lord, I’m so sorry. You told me to speak my truth. I wasn’t there for Mia the way that she needed me. Forgive me. Please give me the strength and the courage to speak my truth. If anyone needs to hear it, it is Mia. Please help me Lord. Is that what you meant when you said for me to speak my truth?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
TRUTH BE TOLD
PSALM 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
The ebony sky was bare. Not one star lived in it. I could hear the crickets singing. My body felt displaced. I looked all around me. The air was brisk. I felt a painful chill in my bones. My body had been all muddy. I lie in that dirty ditch in the garden.
I thought, Please, don’t let it be so.
Had I been trapped in a nightmare for most of my life? I sat up and looked down, and there next to me was a pond. My eyes worked very hard to focus. I saw her reflection. I became frightened. It was a four-year-old little girl. But the four-year-old little girl wasn’t me. Somehow she looked very familiar, though. But I felt my physical self, looking into the pond. Bewildering thoughts consumed me. How could that not be me? Who is the little girl that I see? Suddenly, a load roar sounded; I recognized who it was. It had been the monster who had taken me that fateful night in the camp log cabin. He began chasing me as he always did. I bolted as quickly as I could. I came across a massive cornfield. The cornstalks appeared like giants to me. I tried to catch my breath as I ran through the maze of corn. I heard the monster call out her name. I tried listening carefully as I ran for dear life. All I could hear, faintly, was her name, and then I heard, “You’re such a pretty flower.”
Oh, my goodness! I knew that voice. It was my monster. But I couldn’t hear the name he called.He called her again and said, “You’re such a pretty flower.”
I shouted, “You don’t scare me anymore. Do you hear me?” I continued to shout. “I’m not alone in this garden with you.”
The monster just laughed. His laughter became harder. His voice became deeper. I couldn’t see where he was. But I saw the dry soil where there once were streams of spring water. The flowers were not flowers at all. They were desiccated and frazzled. I thought if I had just touched them, they would come back to life. But as my fingers slightly made contact, they fell to the floor like crumbs.
The monster’s voice became louder. He kept calling the girl’s name. Why couldn’t I hear her name?
My legs couldn’t run anymore, until I realized I had made it out of the cornfield and into acres of bright-green land. In the middle of this enormous fertile field, I spotted a small cottage. It was beautiful. I had never seen such a place as this one. It was quaint and cozy in size. Alongside of its walls were vines with sumptuous flowers. The flowers were just as divine as the ones I had seen in God’s garden. Surrounding the cottage were patches of bright pink daisies. I heard crying. It was the little girl crying. I walked faster to find her. Behind the beautiful cottage was an attached outhouse. As I walked closer to it, I could hear the crying becoming louder. I opened the door slowly. I heard voices coming from the inside. I walked in and stepped into a different dimension. I was in an apartment. There was the little girl I just saw in the reflection of the pond. In a flash I heard,“Mia, you’re such a pretty flower.”
I looked at the little girl. It was Mia! I ran toward her to grab her and take her out of there quickly. But as soon as I could get my hands to reach for her, all of what I had just seen moments ago were gone. There I stood in front of that extraordinary cottage.He spoke. “Natasha, speak your truth.”
“Tasha… Tasha, Honey?”
“Mom?”
“What’s the matter, Sweetheart? You were talking in your sleep.”
“Sleep?” I asked.
“Yes, you just said, ‘I can’t do it, I just can’t.’” Mom replied. “What were you dreaming about, Honey?”
“I don’t remember, Mom. I’m fine.”
But in my mind, I wondered if my dream meant anything significant, other than feeling guilty for not opening up to Mia. It felt so real. It was definitely God’s voice. Why was the familiar monster in my dream? I realized what needed to be done. I needed to tell Mia that I was like her. I needed her to know that she wasn’t alone in that lonely, painful, and dark garden. Today was going to be the day I share my secret. It wasn’t mine to keep. Mia needed to know about my monster, too.
After spending a nice day with my parents during visitation, I couldn’t wait to meet with Mia.Mia’s door was closed. I knocked.
“Come in,” she said.Mia was sitting in a chair in her room. I was in shock.
“Mia, is that what I think it is?” I said to her.She held a book in her hand. She appeared to be really reading it. “Are you shocked to see me holding a Bible?” She smiled at me.
“Mia, is this for real? Or are you just trying to prank me?” I kind of laughed.
“The strangest thing happened to me early this morning. I just had a strong urge, almost like a curiosity to hold it in my hand. I opened it up and just started reading.”
“And? What do you think?”
“Well, I think I’m intrigued. I was a little spooked to read that a snake kind of tricked these two people. It made me want to keep reading. I know you’ve read to me. But I’m going to admit, I wasn’t really paying attention. I figured to reread it myself.”
“Wow, Mia. I’m so proud of you,” I told her. “Mia, I have to talk to you.”
“Uh-oh. What is it? Is it Junior? Did you hear any news about him?”
“Junior? No, silly.”
“Of course. I’m sorry. I just can’t stop hoping that someone will find out something soon. So what is it?”
“Do you remember when you opened up to me about what had happened to you as a child?”
“Yes. You’re the only one I told that to.”<
br />
“I kind of figured that. Remember when we had a whole conversation about God, and your reasons for not believing in Him? Well, I am just like you, Mia.”
“What are you talking about? You are nothing like me, Natasha. First of all, you believe in God. You have the perfect family. You have parents who love you. They chose to have you. They wanted you and they will never leave you. You and I have nothing in common. But I appreciate you trying to help me—”
“Mia, Mia, Mia,” I interrupted her rambling. “Mia, let me finish speaking.”
“Okay. I’m sorry.” She looked at me attentively.
“Mia, you and I are the same. We were both little girls at one time. We both craved safety and refuge. Yes, I grew up with loving parents. But not even my parents could protect me.”
“What?” Mia looked confused.
“You see, Mia… I, too, have a monster.”
“Monster?” she asked.
“Yes. When I was a little girl, actually four years old, I had been hurt, too. My first cousin who’s a lot older than me hurt me.”
“Do you mean…?”
“Yes. He stole away my innocence, too. It didn’t stop there. He was relentless for five long years.”
Disturbance was plastered all over Mia’s face as she covered her mouth. She sat up, walked over to me, and hugged me tightly. A rush of relief came over me as I cried hard. I felt a sudden cleansing come over my soul. Mia cried, too.
