by Tanya South
I stepped out into the real world. It seemed like a foreign land to me. I had become accustomed to my small, safe world at the rehabilitation center. When we pulled up to the precinct, there were a swarm of NYPD cars all over. I held Mom and Dad’s hands really tightly. My palms were clammy and sweaty.
“You’re gonna do great, Sweetheart. We are here with you,” Dad assured me.
“I know,” I said, looking at him.
I swallowed hard, heart racing. I trembled while walking. My nerves were rattled. I looked all around me to make sure I didn’t see anyone I knew. I was a little paranoid, thinking my attackers might be lurking. As we walked into the precinct, I quickly looked behind me to make sure we weren’t being followed. I became suspicious.
“Tasha, it’s okay,” Mom said to me. “Don’t be scared.”
I nodded to indicate that I was fine.
Dad approached the front desk to ask for Detective Fitz. He greeted us shortly after.
“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy. Hi, Natasha.”
I just smiled nervously.
“We’ll make this as quick and painless as possible,” the detective promised.
“Okay,” I said under my breath.
“Now, Natasha, you don’t have to worry. We are going into that room over there. They can’t see you. The glass is a one-way mirror. The suspects will each have a number on their chests. I want you to relax and take your time. Look at each one carefully and let me know if you recognize any of them.”
“Okay,” I said stoically.
We walked into the room; the lighting inside was very dim. Mom and Dad stood right next to me. We were looking into another room with a white background. I felt a bit nauseated. I didn’t know what to expect. All of a sudden, a bunch of young women started to enter the room. There were six of them, to be exact. I immediately looked over at Detective Fitz.
I whispered, “Is it all girls?”
“Yes. Just relax. Look at each one. Tell me if any of them looks familiar to you,” he explained.
As all of them slowly walked in, I noticed that they all kind of resembled each other. One walked in, then the second girl, then the third, the fourth, and the fifth one walked in.
“There!” I yelped. “Oh, my goodness! That’s Lucinda! Number five,” I said excitedly.The sixth girl finally walked in. They all faced me.
“Are you sure?” Detective Fitz asked.
“I’m a hundred percent positive. That’s Lucinda. She’s the one I met at the hospital,” I said, breathing hard.
“Okay. Great job, Natasha.” He called number five to step forward. So she did. “Take one more good look. We need to be sure.”
“Yes. That’s her.” I said, composed.
“Okay. I told you it’s going to be painless.”
“What now?” Mom asked.
“Well, we have more than probable cause to hold her now that Natasha has positively identified her. We will hold her for questioning. You don’t have to stay. We’ll give you a call and let you know what’s next,” Detective Fitz explained.
“Please let us know as soon as you find out anything,” Dad said.
“I sure will. I gave you my word before, and my word still stands,” he said as he shook Dad’s hand.
“Thank you so much, Detective.” Mom shook his hand, too.
In the car ride back to the center, I didn’t know how to ask Mom and Dad if Mia could stay with us. But I just dove right in.
“Mom…Dad… I need to ask you both something.”
Dad looked at me through the rearview mirror. “Sure, Sweetheart. By the way, you did great today.”
“Thank you, Daddy. Um, do you know my friend Mia?”
“Do you mean the girl who’s pregnant?” Mom asked.
“Yes, the pregnant girl.”
“What about her?” Dad asked.
“Ah, well. She’s basically homeless and is being discharged right around the same time as me.”
“Okay…?” Dad looked calm.
“Well, I know this is a lot to ask. But I thought maybe she can stay with us until she gets on her feet?” I said, kind of cringing. I worried about how they would react to my very audacious request.
“Oh wow, Honey, we don’t know anything about this girl and—” Mom said but I interrupted.
“But, Mom, I know her. She’s a really nice person. She doesn’t have a family. Her parents gave her up when she was a baby. Mia is a lost girl. I feel like I’ve known her my whole life. And I don’t want to put you on the spot, but what would Jesus have us do? Did Jesus himself not talk about the one lost sheep? How He went out to save that one?”
My parents were thrown by my rhetorical questions.
“I’m sorry she didn’t have a good life. How far along is she in her pregnancy?” Mom asked.
“She’s five months along.”
Mom continued. “What kind of job do you suppose she’ll be able to get now? She’s going to have her baby in just a few months.”
“I don’t know, Mom. I just think I met her for a reason. You and Dad always said that we can always make the world a better place, not just by saying things that make a difference, but by actually acting on making a difference. Right?” I pleaded.
“Honey, you’re right,” Dad chimed in. “I’ll tell you what, how about you, Mom, and I talk with your friend Mia. We’d like to get to know her a little better. I might consider it. I do believe as Christians or just for the sake of humanity, sometimes, we are given challenging tasks to take on. Maybe this is one of them.”
Mom just looked at him, stunned. “Phillip, are you sure about this?”
“Yes, the worst that could happen is that, things don’t work out and we can still help her find a place of her own,” he replied.
“Thank you, Daddy.” I curled up behind him by the seat to hug him. “She’s going to be so happy.”
“Well, I said we should talk with her first. We have to be sure she’s okay with it, too. And we are going to set rules,” Dad said. “And you’ll be back in school. I don’t want this to interfere with your schoolwork.”
“I know, Daddy. It won’t. Thank you!”
We got back to the center in time for me to attend the afternoon group session. I couldn’t wait to break the news to Mia. Mom and Dad planned on coming back the next day to talk with her. And if all went well, they planned on making the arrangements with Ms. Daisha. I felt like I was gaining an older sister, for a little while at least.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THE TRUTH HURTS
LUKE 8:17
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.
A couple of months before I was admitted into the center, the trees were dressed with colorful warm leaves. Then the day of my discharge finally arrived. When we walked out, the trees were naked, the wintery air was cool, and silvery clouds surrounded the vibrant sun. Ms. Daisha made arrangements with my parents, who agreed to sponsor Mia and allow her to stay with us until she gave birth to her baby boy. Hopefully by then, Ms. Daisha would have helped to find Mia housing for low-income families. Mia had been so grateful. I’ll admit, I was pretty happy, too. Auntie Lucy planned a welcome-home dinner at her house for me. I had to play it cool. After all, her house would bring back a flood of terrible memories to me. I hadn’t been particularly excited about having the dinner there, but I didn’t want to hurt my auntie’s feelings. It just gave me great comfort that Joe no longer lived there anyway.
We went home first to get myself and Mia settled in. I had mixed feelings about being back at home. I loved being back with my parents, but I missed all of the girls I bonded with at the center, and Ms. Daisha, too.
As we approached the front door of Auntie Lucy’s house, I felt this numbness. I had all kinds of emotions rushing through me. The same emotions I felt every time we spent holidays or birthdays there. Both occasions were supposed to be happy. But for me, they were feelin
gs of nothing but grief. Auntie Lucy greeted us.
“Oh, Natasha!” she cried loudly as she hugged me. “Welcome back home! We’ve missed you so much.”
I smiled. “Me too, Auntie Lucy.”
She kissed Mom and hugged Dad. She looked over at Mia. “And you must be Mia. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Mia smiled. “Thank you. It’s nice to meet you, too.”
“You can call me Lucy, Sweetheart,” Auntie said.
The delicious smell of the food was everywhere. If I didn’t know any better, it had been just like our Thanksgiving gatherings every year growing up. Auntie Lucy loved cooking. For dinner, she actually cooked a twenty-pound turkey. This turkey wasn’t your usual. Auntie had a gift of making the juiciest, yummiest turkey. The gravy was also something out of this world. The table already had all of the fixings placed on it. There were collard greens, corn on the cob, rice with beans, homemade stuffing, caramelized sweet potatoes with marshmallows, and homemade garlic mashed potatoes. What a sumptuous sight.
“Wow! You did all of this for me?” I asked.
“Yes, Sweetheart,” Auntie Lucy replied. “Today is a very special day. And I want you to know we all love you very much.”
My tears welled up. I didn’t know what to say. But my heart became full at that very moment. “Thank you. I love you all, too,” I said, wiping my tears away.
It was great to see my cousin Lisa, too. I hadn’t been the greatest example to my younger cousin. I just felt terrible that I had distanced myself from her only because she was Joe’s little sister. She became collateral damage, unfortunately.
It felt like old times, just like when we were little. We talked and laughed. Mia fit in, too. It was as if we’d all known each other all of our lives. It was too good to be true, but we were actually having a great time. For the first time in a very long time, at that moment of laughter and love, I felt some kind of normalcy. That was all I ever wanted. Later on, there was a hard knock on the door.
“Lucy, were you expecting anyone else?” Mom asked.
“No, I wasn’t,” Auntie Lucy said while walking toward the door. She looked through the window of the door. “It’s a gentleman. He looks kind of like a cop.”
Dad looked surprised. “A detective?”
Auntie Lucy opened the door. “Hello, can I help you?”
“Hi, I’m Detective Fitz. Are—?”
Mom rushed to the door as soon as she heard the familiar voice. “Detective Fitz?”
“Mrs. McCarthy?” Detective Fitz looked confused.
“Is everything okay?” Mom asked. “How did you know my sister lived here?”
“I didn’t,” he said.
Mom looked confused.
“Come on in, Detective,” Auntie Lucy said.
Mom introduced them. “Detective, this is my sister Lucy Murphy.”
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Murphy,” he said.
“You can call me Lucy. Please have a seat.”
They sat in the living room.
“What brings you here, Detective?”
Detective Fitz’s face looked perplexed. “I don’t know where to start. But I wanted to know, who else lives here with you, Lucy?”
“Ah, it’s just me and my daughter Lisa. My husband and I have been separated for a few months.
Joseph. He’s been staying with family out in Jersey,” Auntie explained.
“Are you sure no one else lives here?” he asked.
“Ah, well…my son used to live with us. But he’s been gone for almost six years.”
“Do you know where he lives?” Detective Fitz asked.
Auntie looked down like she was embarrassed. “I’m so ashamed to say. But I haven’t talked to my son since he left the military. He had been dishonorably discharged shortly after and never kept in touch with us. It’s complicated, Detective. We’ve been estranged. I did my best to raise him to be a man of integrity and good character, but…” She broke down crying. Mom grabbed a hold of her.
Dad became upset. “Detective Fitz, what is this all about? I don’t understand?”
“I’m sorry to hear that. There’s a man involved in our investigation in Natasha’s case, who used this address as his residence, based on our findings. We need to know if you know this man.”
“What!?” Mom and Dad said simultaneously.
“We have a witness in custody who gave us information about him,” the detective said.
“I don’t understand. Who is this man?” Auntie asked, worried.
I stood by there in the living room, watching and listening to the whole thing. Droplets of sweat crept out from my hairline. I became a little nervous. Mia sat on the sofa, looking confused, too.
“Mrs. Murphy…Lucy, I want to show you a photo and you tell me if you know this man.” Detective Fitz reached down into his folder. He pulled out what looked like a photo and showed it to her.
Auntie reached to grab the photo. “Oh, my word. Joe! That’s my son!”
“Joe?” Mom stood beside her as she looked at the photo, as well. Shock was written all over her face.
“Oh, my goodness. Where is he? Is he arrested? I want to go see him. Lord knows I’ve been praying for me to find him,” Auntie rambled.
“Mrs. McCarthy, can you come sit here with your sister?” Detective Fitz asked Mom.
Mom looked as if she didn’t understand. She walked over and sat down with Auntie right by where Mia had been sitting, too.
“I am sorry to inform you, this man, who you identify as your son, is deceased,” the detective said.
“No! No! No! No! Not my Joe!” Auntie sobbed with deep grief as Mom held on to her. She dropped the photo down on the coffee table.I noticed Mia taking a gander at it. Suddenly she screamed hysterically, “No! It’s Junior! No! Why!?”
I ran over to look at the photo, as well. I couldn’t believe what had been happening. I didn’t recognize him. And I was in shock, too. “Mia, this isn’t your Junior. It can’t be.”
“It’s Junior, he’s dead,” she sobbed.
My head spun. I got so dizzy and faint. Darkness quickly came upon me.
The clouds were thick and dark. They transformed into the monster I met so long ago. It hovered over that room of terror. What had I been doing lying on that dreary bed in the seedy motel room again? It was the place where I had faced evil for weeks. I heard the familiar eerie, deep voice.
“What’s her name?”
“Natasha. I did good right, Boss?’
“Where did you find this girl again?”
“She was one of the girls I found at the hospital.”
“We gotta get outta here.”
I remembered this conversation in a dream. I took a good look at who had been asking the questions. It was the monster. He looked at me and I looked at him. It can’t be, I thought at that very second. I must be hallucinating.
The heated conversation continued.
She said, “I’m sorry. You said to find girls that looked like her. You said—”
“I know what I said!” he yelled. “I told you to bring me pictures first! Didn’t I?”
“Ahh…”
“Didn’t I!?” he shouted again.
“Yes, you did. I’m sorry. I just figured she was exactly what you were looking for,” she explained.
“We need to get out of here. Now!”
“Wait, what about Natasha?”
“We leave her behind.”
“But…”
“But nothing! Let’s get out of here now!” he shouted.
“Who is she?” she asked.
“We leave this one alone. She’s been through enough already.”
“What are you gonna tell Kage? You know you’re throwing away money by leaving her behind?”
“Hey! I’m the boss here. Not you! Got it?” he yelled as he smacked her.
Then the monster walked over to me in a panic. We locked eyes. The dark, thick cloud; the monster began transforming himself into a man. The man
was Joe. Joe was in that dreadful room with me. How could that be? He inserted a needle into my arm again.
There I fell into the dark abyss again.
I awoke in that room, tied up to the bed and everyone was gone.
“Natasha, Baby! Wake up!” Dad cried out with a cold towel on my head. “Baby, it’s me, Dad. Are you okay?”
All I continued to hear were cries of anguish. Auntie was crying. Mom was crying. Mia was inconsolable. My mind grappled over this. I couldn’t wrap my head around what had been happening.
“Mrs. Murphy, I need you to come down to the morgue to identify the body,” Detective Fitz said.
“I need to call my husband Joseph. I want him to come with us, too,” Auntie Lucy cried.
“Yes, of course,” the detective agreed.
We were all sharing the same nightmare.
CHAPTER TWENTY
DEPARTED
ECCLESIASTES 9:5–6
For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward,and even their name is forgotten. Their love, their hatred, and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun.
The atmosphere was heavy with grief and hollow hearts. We all decided to go in one car. Dad drove Auntie Lucy and Uncle Joseph’s black Land Rover SUV to the morgue. Uncle Joseph was also in the car with us. As soon as Auntie broke the news to him, he came right over. Dad drove behind Detective Fitz’s car. Mom sat in the front with Dad. Lisa, Mia, and I sat in the back. Mia and Auntie were inconsolable. Uncle Joseph held on to Auntie, trying to comfort her. Mom continued to weep, too. Dad kept it all together. I sat there with no expression on my face at all. I was in utter shock. Feelings of guilt also weighed on me. I had prayed so many years for him to disappear forever. I didn’t know what to feel or think at the time. I felt desensitized.
Soon after arriving at the morgue, Auntie just continued to whimper. The sounds of her cries were painful to listen to. I felt a lump in my throat.
The moment had arrived when we all stood outside of the room where Joe’s body laid.
