Virtue Inverted

by Piers Anthony

  “I can turn bat and hang from a rafter.”

  “The cook would freak out. She'd be sure you'd drop guano in the turnip soup.”

  “Maybe Virtue can share with Nadia,” Benny suggested.

  “You know, I had a dream last night,” Jack said. “That Nadia would have to do something she didn't want to do, but that it would pay her well to do it. Maybe that's it.”

  Soon they braced Nadia. “You want me to share with a vampire?” Nadia asked, appalled. “Mosquitoes are bad enough blood suckers; I don't need a big one.”

  “She won't suck your blood,” Benny said.

  “So you say. If you're so trusting, you sleep with her.”

  “I think I can settle this,” Jack said. “We can use the Oath of Sober Jack.”

  The others looked at him.

  “Sober Jack was my father. He renovated the Fox Den and moved here from Alsbury. Sometimes he had trouble with customers, so he worked out a way to make them behave. He devised the Oath.”

  “Is that what you made that drunk wagoner swear months ago?” Nadia asked. “I thought it was a joke.”

  “That wagoner behaved, didn't he? The Oath is self-enforcing as long as the one who swears it is on the premises, which is really all I care about. So Virtue can swear not to suck Nadia's blood, and she won't have to worry.”

  “You're a great guy, and a good employer, and I love you, Jack,” Nadia said. “But sometimes you're so full of crap it's a wonder you don't explode before you get to the outhouse.”

  “I'll prove it,” Jack said. “Benny, Virtue, Nadia: swear by Sober Jack not to drink any cider for the next hour. Then try to do it.”

  “I love your cider,” Benny said.

  “So do I,” Nadia said. “'Specially when it's just turning hard. I have to watch that I don't get tipsy and let a customer feel me up.”

  “Make the oath. We all know it's not serious. This is just a demonstration.”

  The three were similarly perplexed, but made the oath. Then Jack brought out brimming mugs of cider for each of them. “Drink up!”

  Benny stared at his mug. He was unable to bring it to his face. He saw Virtue and Nadia similarly incapacitated.

  “What's keeping you?” Jack demanded. “Do you want to waste it on a wagoner?”

  They all tried, and tried again. They simply couldn't do it.

  “Have I made my point?” Jack asked. “If you want to drink that cider, you'll have to wait an hour, or take it outside, beyond the range of dearly beloved Sober Jack.”

  Benny looked longingly at his mug. “Maybe we'd better do that, rather than let it go to waste.”

  The three of them went outside, trying repeatedly to drink. Only when they got well away from the inn were they able to do it.

  “I will make that oath,” Virtue said when they returned to the inn. “I swear by Sober Jack to suck no person's blood and do no one here any harm, ever.”

  “That will do,” Jack said.

  “I will share my bed,” Nadia said. “Though I can't see how it will pay me to do so.” She shrugged. “But Jack's had visions before, and they've always come true.”

  Thus it was settled. Virtue moved in with Nadia, and the two soon were great friends. Nadia gave her pointers on handling drinking customers. “You have to learn not to jump and spill the ale when one grabs your ass.”

  “When one does what?”

  “They're men,” Nadia said dismissively. “They grab. They're not supposed to, but any time Jack's not watching, they do. They think it's funny when you scream and drop a mug. You've got the world's cutest ass; they'll be on you like, well, like men.”

  “I couldn't handle that. I am promised to Benny, and he does not do that.”

  Benny was silent. He would have loved to grab an ass, but hadn't had the courage, and now of course he would not.

  They went to Jack, explaining the problem. “I'll take care of it,” he promised.

  Next day when the men gathered, Jack took the floor. “We have a new bar girl and waitress,” he said, indicating Virtue, who was now in a Fox Den skirt, looking as pretty as only she could be. “She's a vampire.”

  The men stared, startled.

  “Show 'em your fangs, honey,” Jack said.

  Virtue briefly bared her fangs.

  “She has promised not to bite anyone here,” Jack continued. “Not unless someone really wants her to.”

  There was laughter. Naturally nobody wanted to be bitten by a vampire, even such a pretty one.

  “The way you will signal your desire to be bitten is by grabbing her butt.”

  There was a sudden chill.

  “Go serve that man a mug, honey,” Jack told Virtue, indicating a customer who was in on the demonstration.

  She carried a brimming mug of ale to the man. He slowly reached toward her midsection. She twitched her lip, exposing one fang. His hand quickly changed course and went to the mug. The others laughed. The point had been made.

  But though Virtue was popular as a waitress, and she did her share of other chores such as washing the pots, her favorite job was gardening. The garden in back soon flourished, producing splendid turnips. Turnip soup became more popular than ever. Benny suspected that it was not simply that the turnips were excellent, but that the men liked eating what they knew Virtue had handled, in that manner getting a small piece of her.

  Jack brought in an old book of magic. “This covers many things, including a section on vampires,” he said. “It can never replace your lost coven, Virtue, but it may have some useful information.”

  “Our head vamp had a similar tome,” she said. “Oh, thank you, Jack!” She kissed him on the cheek. It was plain that they liked each other in much the way Jack and Benny liked each other, like parent and child.

  Virtue delved into the book once the day's chores were done. “Oh, this is wonderful!” she said. “It tells me how to fill out my powers. Only--”

  “Only you need practice,” Nadia said.

  “Yes. It has a whole chapter on bites, ranging from sedative to healing to potency. But to make them work properly I need to zero them in, and I can't do that without actually trying them to see how they work. I wouldn't do it, even if I were not bound by Sober Jack's Oath.”

  “You swore to suck no blood and do no person here harm,” Jack said.

  “Yes. I feed on no person.”

  “I happen to have a date tonight with a lady I know. I would like to impress her in bed, and believe she is amenable, but fear that if I try I will fall short and embarrass myself. I'm simply not young any more. Did you mention potency?”

  “Yes. There is a bite that--” She broke off, looking at him. “You want that bite!”

  “Let's say that I offer myself as a test subject. I do not believe that such a bite would harm me, so it wouldn't violate the Oath, and I would be gratified if I could gratify the lady.”

  Virtue looked at Benny and Nadia. “Could I really do that without violating the Oath?”

  “Try it and see,” Nadia said. “If it's harmful, the Oath won't let you do it.”

  Virtue nodded. She quickly reread that portion of the book, then approached Jack. “Give me your arm.”

  He presented his arm. She bent to put her fangs to his forearm, biting him lightly. “That should have some effect in a while,” she said. “If I have done it correctly.”

  “I will let you know,” Jack said, rising perhaps in more than one sense. He quickly departed.

  “Is he just trying to encourage me?” Virtue asked.

  “I don't think so,” Nadia said with a smirk. “I've seen that reaction before. I think he felt the rush coming on and had to get with the woman in a hurry.”

  “Oh.” Virtue blushed. She had evidently focused on the technical nature of the bite, rather than its practical effect.

  Next morning Jack gave his report. “I did her four times before dawn. Next time mute it a bit, okay?”

  Virtue laughed, relieved, though she blushed aga
in. “I thought it wouldn't be enough.”

  “It was more than enough.”

  “They told me at the coven that I had enormous potential. I didn't believe them.”

  “Believe them,” Jack said. He smirked. “Enormous is certainly the word.” That caused another blush.

  “Can you do sedative on me?” Nadia asked. “It's that time of the month, and I know I'll have trouble sleeping because of the cramps.”

  “I will try,” Virtue said, and bit her lightly on the arm.

  It worked. Nadia slept soundly through the night, and was in no discomfort when she woke.

  There was an obnoxious customer. “This guy is mischief,” Jack murmured to Benny. “Now I'm sorry I don't have Liverwart here.”

  Benny had an idea. “Could you give me strength?” he asked Virtue.

  “Yes.” She bit him on the arm. It was almost like a kiss. Immediately he felt the power surging through his body.

  Meanwhile the situation was coming to a head. “I'll have to ask you to leave,” Jack told the man.

  “Yeah? Make me, old timer.”

  Benny walked up. “This way, sir,” he said politely, indicating the door.

  The man looked at him and laughed. “Get out of my face, kid, before I feed you your own foot.”

  “This way,” Benny repeated, taking the man by the arm and squeezing.

  The man stared, not so much in pain as in surprise. It was a very strong grip. Then he tried to jerk his arm away.

  It didn't come. Instead Benny held on, used his other hand to catch that man's belt behind him, braced himself, and heaved. The man came off the floor, then landed on his face.

  “Why you little--” he started.

  Benny caught him by the collar as he rose, and hauled him across the room to the door. The man was helpless to resist that force. Benny threw him out the doorway.

  The other customers were staring. Benny didn't know what to say.

  Jack came to his rescue. “Thank you, Benny,” he said, as if it were routine. “I'm sorry you had to do that. I trust we'll have no more rogues like him.” He had clearly caught on to the bite, having had his own experience.

  That was all, but thereafter Benny was treated with more respect. There were no more difficult customers. He did feel tired as the bite wore off; his added strength had been drawn from his bodily reserves. So it was not something to do casually.

  Virtue also practiced changing into her bat form, so she could quietly fly off to feed on a forest animal. She got so she could do it in under ten minutes, which was very fast for a vampire.

  Jack found an old crystal ball. “Maybe you can practice skrying,” he suggested.

  “Yes!”

  Virtue practiced with the ball, learning to skry. She got to see a few hours into the future, then a day, but it was difficult. “There are so many paths,” she said. “So many things that can happen that it becomes fuzzy. I need to be very specific, or it's hopelessly vague.”

  “Try one on me,” Benny suggested.

  She did. And smiled. “Tonight you will kiss me.”

  “Uh, yes, of course. But is there anything out of the ordinary?”

  She stared into the crystal. “Not tomorrow. Not next week. But there is something in your future. Danger. Fighting. Pain. Maybe death.” She wrenched her gaze away. “Oh, Benny, whatever you plan, don't do it! It's dangerous!”

  “But I don't plan anything except being with you.”

  “That I fear is part of the danger. Not from me, but because of me.”

  “Maybe some other man wants you, and wants to fight me for you.”

  “Maybe,” she agree uncertainly. “I'm not a possession. But if someone thought I was, there might be trouble.”

  From him, Benny thought. “I think I'd better practice my fighting.”

  “I dislike this, for I don't like fighting. Remember, I'm a pacifist. But after what happened to my coven, I am not sure that pacifism is right in all cases.”

  “I'll practice,” Benny said.

  Thereafter he did, working with knife, sword, and club, building up his body and his skills.

  But perhaps the greatest success was the dance. A customer remarked that a tavern in a far town had a dancing act with pretty girls. So, for a joke, they tried it, adapting dance moves for a trio. Then, costumed, Benny performed it with the two girls. Both were fair-haired, and their unbound tresses flung out as they moved, enhancing the effect. He made grand gestures while the girls whirled in their skirts, showing their legs. Nadia was buxom, with solid thighs, and made a very good impression on the men. In fact, she was sexy as hell. But Virtue, slender throughout, had an ethereal quality of loveliness that transformed the scene.

  The applause was considerable. They decided to do it regularly.

  And day-by-day, the tavern business increased. Men came, certainly, but so did women, and they all raptly watched the dance.

  “Don't you get jealous?” Benny overheard a woman ask Nadia. She didn't need to say of whom.

  “No. She's my friend, and she helps me, and she's good for business.” All true.

  What no one said was that the coven's judgment was being more than vindicated. Virtue had truly great potential, now being translated into performance.

  Benny was with her daily, as thoroughly in love as ever. And Virtue was open about her gradually increasing feeling for him. She expected to love him completely by the time they were married. They passed their seventeenth birthdays and headed toward the eighteenth.

  The idyll seemed almost too good to last.

  Chapter 11

  Bad news came suddenly. The giant Liverwart had been in and out, doing chores as needed, but less had been needed since Virtue came, in significant part because customers behaved better in her presence. Even the job of occasional bouncer had been preempted by Benny, thanks to the vampire's strength bite. “Need help!” he cried.

  Laughing Jack gave him his immediate attention. It turned out that his entire clan had been slain by men resembling Beranger and Cycleze.

  Jack was grim. “This must be what you've been practicing for, Benny. Those two, whoever they are, have to be stopped.”

  “Beranger said he'd kill me if he ever saw me again,” Benny said.

  “We don't know it's him. I know him; he's a good man at heart. He wouldn't do something like this for no reason. Maybe somebody's trying to frame him, to get him into trouble.”

  “That must be,” Nadia said. “Dale's not like that.”

  Benny was not all sure they were correct, but he didn't care to argue the case. The one regarded the man as a friend; the other as a love object. “I will go.”

  “There is danger,” Virtue protested. “Remember my skry.”

  “That's why I have been practicing.” But if it really was Beranger, Benny knew he was no match for the man. He had put on weight and strength, and learned some skill with his weapons, but the other was a master. Benny was determined not to delude himself; therein lay death.

  “Not danger directly to you. Not immediately. But you will learn horrible things, and it will change you. Now I am coming to understand my obscure skrying.” She gazed at him tearfully. “You may not return to me.”

  “Honey, you will always have a place here regardless,” Jack said, and Nadia nodded. They both liked her, and so did the customers.

  “I never want to leave you!” Benny said. “But I have to help Liverwart if I can.” As he spoke, he realized that there was a tinge of guilt for his part in the slaying of the other giant, Kidneywart. He did have to do what he could.

  “Then I must come with you,” Virtue said. “To share your fate.”

  “But there might be violence.”

  “Yes. I can't be violent myself, but maybe I can help shield you from violence and make your way easier.”

  Benny realized that he would much rather have her with him, but he didn't want to make such a selfish decision himself. “Jack, Nadia—what do you say?”

  Nad
ia had an idea. “Jack, your vision said Virtue would really help me, some day. Does this relate?”

  “I don't know. Maybe Virtue could skry that.”

  Skry a former vision? Benny was dubious.

  “I will try,” Virtue said. She fetched the crystal ball and stared deeply into it. “Yes, it relates. I don't know how; there is much danger, much obscurity, and I fear much ugliness, but that much is clear.”

  “Maybe you can clear Dale.” And there was Nadia's personal interest, as she still carried the torch for the man.

  “Maybe,” Virtue agreed. Benny knew she was as doubtful about Beranger as he was. Neither Jack nor Nadia had seen how ugly the man could be.

  “Then you must go, my dear friend Virtue,” Nadia said. “Though we will really miss you.”

  Jack spread his hands. “How can I argue? But I beg you, kids, be careful. We need you for the dance.” It was a whole lot more than that, but none of them wanted to address the complicated factors. Suppose it was Beranger?

  They decided to walk, because it wasn't far. Virtue undressed, handed Benny her clothing, slowly assumed bat form and flew up to perch on Benny's shoulder. The giant looked startled; he had not seen this transformation before, and maybe not a naked girl either. Then Liverwart picked him up and set him on his shoulder. They were on their way.

  Benny looked back as they sped along the trail. Jack was holding Nadia, and they both looked as if they were crying. Yes, they cared, and they feared much more than they said.

  “Was it Beranger?” Benny asked the dread question as he rode high up.

  The giant was unsubtle. “Yes.”

  Damn, on more than one score. “You know, Beranger killed a giant before,” Benny said. “Kidneywart.”

  “He bad giant,” Liverwart said.

  “Maybe Beranger got the idea that all giants were bad.” He was trying to be fair to the man.

  And all Vampires?

  That was Virtue's thought; he recognized her tone of mind, and of course she was perched right beside his head. She was working on another talent: telepathy!

  “Know better. Kill anyway.”

  There it was. Jack might stand by the man, but Beranger had gone bad. Did that mean that Benny would have to fight him? There were several problems with that: Beranger had been his friend, of a sort, teaching him valuable things; Nadia wanted to marry the man; and Benny doubted he could defeat him in fair combat.