Welcome to Blissville

by Walker, Aimee Nicole

  River continued to kiss the back of my neck while he gently worked my ass open for him. I loved when he took me in that position because it meant he would love me long and slow until my eyes rolled back into my head, and I came hard all over the sheets. I shamefully moaned and pushed my ass against his slick fingers, needing more friction and deeper penetration. It had been so long—too long—since we’d last made love, and I was ready to come just from his fingers.

  Again, River didn’t say anything; he just kept kissing my neck. “Please, baby. I need to feel you inside me.” I felt tears of frustration burning behind my closed eyes and heard them in my voice.

  River removed his fingers from my ass and pressed the tip of his erection against my puckered opening. I cried out when he pushed inside me slow. Damn, it felt like I was giving my virginity to him all over again. River waited for me to adjust to his penetration and continued loving on my neck and shoulder. When I was ready, I pushed my ass against him eagerly. River didn’t need further instruction and slowly eased his way inside me.

  “Fuck!” I cried out when he grazed my prostate. “So good, baby.” I felt my balls pull tight and firm against my body as my orgasm neared. River felt wider and longer than I remembered, but I was too lost in the pleasure to give it much thought. “More!”

  He placed his left hand on my hip and started thrusting harder and faster, nothing like we used to do in that position. I didn’t care; I needed to come, and I was almost there. When my orgasm hit me, it was so powerful that my breath got stuck in my throat and no words or sound escaped me as I silently came all over my stomach and sheets.

  River’s grip on my hand and hip became almost bruising as he chased his orgasm too. I smiled when moans of ecstasy escaped him when he came inside me, but my euphoria didn’t last long. My body, which had been warm with pleasure, turned to ice with fear. That moan didn’t belong to River. I noticed the distinct feel of a ring on my lover’s left hand. River and I never exchanged rings; we said it was too heterosexual. I hated that decision once I lost him. I stiffened in horror when I raised my left hand and saw a wedding band on my ring finger. It couldn’t be right, so why did it feel that way? Why wasn’t I struggling to get away? Why did I nestle into him instead of tearing myself away?

  “I love you, Em,” my lover said into my ear.

  “I love you too.” No! I promised that I’d never give my heart to someone else.

  I jerked out of my sleep gasping for air. Hot tears poured down my face, and cum cooled on my stomach and chest. My sex-deprived body enjoyed the fuck out of that dream, but my heart felt bruised and shattered. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t real; I felt like I was unfaithful to River.

  I sobbed in the shower as I scrubbed my skin repeatedly to wash away the evidence of my body trying to move on when my heart still said no. The words of love exchanged between my dream lover and me echoed through my brain and nothing I did silenced them. After I turned off the shower and toweled off, I wrapped myself in the ratty robe he loved so much and curled into a fetal position in the middle of the bed.

  “I’m sorry, River. Please come back to me.”

  I lived most of my adult life on the edge and had stopped getting nervous decades ago. My hands always remained steady, and my focus never wavered in any situation. I didn’t second guess my decisions, and I never looked back once I took that step forward. I learned to control adrenaline when it coursed through my veins and used it to my advantage. Nerves, doubt, and second-guessing would’ve led to one thing—my death.

  It seemed like all my old habits returned to me the night I was supposed to meet Rick while wearing a wiretap. A million ants crawled beneath my skin as nerves invaded my body, I had a hard time focusing on the mission—for lack of a better word—when the tech guys wired me for sound and video, and I questioned my decision every other minute. What the hell had I agreed to do? There was no way Rick Spizer had anything to do with killing Nate. I knew it to my core. Then it occurred to me that I could use my time to prove his innocence rather than trap him. And just like that, my nerves and doubt disappeared.

  “Detective Wyatt, relax.” I stood up from the bed across the one Detective Wyatt sat on in the hotel room. I looked at Dorchester, Weston, and Harris. “Is he always like this?”

  “Mostly,” Dorchester replied, “but he knows his shit, so maybe you should stop busting his balls and listen to him for a damn minute.”

  “Too bad you weren’t this dedicated when my brother turned to you for help,” I snarled. “Maybe he’d still be alive.”

  “Clear the room,” Detective Wyatt commanded. His team obeyed the order immediately. He slowly rose to his feet and squared off against me. “You have every right to be angry over the loss of your brother, but blaming me for his death isn’t going to bring him back. Instead, focus your damn energy on catching his killer by listening to what I’m telling you.” The detective pointed his finger at me and said, “If you go in there half-cocked you could destroy everything. Are you listening to me?”

  I turned and paced away from him, running my fingers through my hair in agitation. I turned to face Detective Wyatt and released my pent-up frustration in one, long breath. I was ready to listen.

  “I didn’t refuse to help Nate; he refused to help himself. He should’ve been up front about everything because it was highly unlikely he didn’t know why he was targeted. He might not have known who, but he might’ve had an idea of why. His asking me to sneak around outside of the law to find his harasser was wrong. He wasn’t forthright with the CPD when he finally turned to them. We can’t help someone who doesn’t want it, Silver.”

  “I know,” I said softly. “I was out of line. I’m sorry.” I didn’t truly know a damn thing about the detective, but I was certain that he was an honorable man. He didn’t give me the impression that he would try to railroad Rick into an arrest and conviction just to close his case.

  “Trust me when I tell you I know how powerless you feel right now. My brother was killed in a robbery when I was fifteen. He was my hero, and I was devastated,” he told me. “His killer was never arrested, so please believe me when I tell you that I will do everything legally within my power to solve Nate’s case. I need your help to do that, which means you have to listen to what I say.”

  Detective Wyatt was right; I couldn’t start acting like a vigilante if I wanted to bring Nate’s killer to justice. A year ago, I would’ve wanted to hunt the fucker down myself and slit his throat, but I promised my mother that I would find my brother and try to live a normal life. Finding Nate had been easy, but keeping my other promise was harder than I anticipated. That moment in the hotel room with the CPD was my chance to prove that I could change and have a better life than the path I’d been on since I was sixteen years old. Christ, it was a miracle I had reached my fortieth birthday.

  “Call the team back in. I’m ready to cooperate,” I said.

  The second time around, I listened to Detective Wyatt’s instructions. I committed to memory what he wanted me to say so that I avoided any legal traps. In my last line of business, we didn’t follow too many rules. We saw an opportunity to set things right and did it.

  I headed to the restaurant a little early so that Rick didn’t catch me exiting the elevators. It was my favorite place to eat, and the staff knew me well, but that night a young guy I didn’t recognize greeted me as I entered. He was young, blond, and had lips made to suck my dick. Had it been any other night, I would’ve encouraged the arousal I saw blooming across his cheeks and sparkle in his eyes.

  “Good evening, sir. My name is Stephan. What can I do for you?” Damn, he said that in a voice that made me want to bend him over my knee and… Focus on the mission, Jon!

  “My name is Jonathon Silver, and I have a reservation for two,” I replied coolly.

  “Your wife or girlfriend?” he asked, fishing for information.

  “Lawyer,” I replied, not taking the bait. I had too much on the line and couldn’t afford the
distraction.

  “Okay, follow me,” he said in dramatic resignation that made my lips tilt up into a half-smile. He perked up a little when he saw that he got a reaction out of me, even a subtle one, and made sure he swayed his even perkier ass in a way that had me questioning my sanity for denying myself the pleasure. “I hope you have a most pleasant meal tonight, sir. Might I suggest you save room for dessert? I hear the blondie here is exceptional.” Stephan playfully winked before he left me alone at my usual table. I knew damn well he wasn’t referring to the blond brownie dessert on the menu.

  An hour later, Rick still hadn’t arrived, and I was getting aggravated. Had he somehow figured out that something was going on and decided not to show? I pulled out my cell phone from my jacket pocket and dialed his number. “Rick, I’ve been sitting here at the restaurant for thirty minutes waiting for you. Did I get the time wrong? Give me a call, buddy.”

  I drank another glass of water and ate another piece of bread before my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket, expecting to see Rick’s name on the caller ID, but it read as unknown. A sick feeling washed over me as I stared at it while it rang a few more times.

  “Jonathon Silver,” I said into the phone.

  “Mr. Silver, this is Detective Dorchester. Can you come back to the room please?” he asked. I could tell by his voice that something bad had happened.

  “I’ll be right there,” I told him then signaled for the waiter. “Archie, my dinner guest won’t be able to meet me tonight, and I received a call that there’s an urgent matter I need to attend to at the club. Can you just add the charge for the bread to my tab?”

  “There’ll be no charge for the bread, sir.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe I’d suggest such a thing. “Good luck, Mr. Silver.”

  “Thank you, Archie.”

  I didn’t make eye contact with anyone else, especially that tempting morsel at the reservation desk, as I made my way back to the hotel room. “What’s going on?” I asked when I entered the room. I could tell by Detective Wyatt’s face that Rick was dead. Why else would he have stood me up?

  “Spizer was found dead in his home,” the detective told me. “We’re going to head over to his house right now. I’ll call you when we know more, either tonight or tomorrow.”

  Even though he confirmed what I suspected, I was overwhelmed by shock and grief. “I don’t believe it,” I said. “Honestly, I thought there was another explanation for Rick’s involvement instead of him killing them or hiring it done, but this can’t be a coincidence. He was good to me when everyone else was skeptical of my appearance in Nate’s life, including my brother.”

  Detective Wyatt crossed the room and patted my shoulder. “I’ll be in touch.”

  The rest of the team followed him out, of course, and I stood alone in the center of the posh hotel room. God, whoever killed those other men must’ve killed Rick also. Damn it, had he been involved all along or did he know too much? My brain spun with the possibilities or was it the room spinning? Fuck! How long had it been since I ate a meal? The stress of the situation and low blood sugar was a dangerous combo. I sank down on the edge of the bed and rested my head in my hands and willed my brain, or room, to quit spinning.

  I debated leaving and going through a drive-thru of a fast food restaurant but didn’t trust myself to drive. How the fuck could I even be thinking about food when Rick was lying dead in his home? I had truly become the animal my mother had feared. Hunger and disgust warred inside me while my heart ached over the loss of a man I considered a friend. Hunger eventually won out, and I ordered my favorite foods from room service. The hotel wasn’t the kind of place you rented by the hour, which meant the CPD kept a room there or they rented it for the night. Either way, I was physically and emotionally wrecked and wasn’t going anywhere until I got some food in my system.

  I removed my jacket and tie then loosened the top few buttons of my dress shirt before I lay on the bed and waited for my food delivery. I turned on the television, but I didn’t have a clue which two college basketball teams played one another, nor did I care. I was relieved when room service knocked on the door.

  I dug into my perfectly seared steak and mushroom risotto like I hadn’t eaten in a month. I didn’t start to feel human again until I nearly finished my food. Exhaustion moved in swift and hard; I could barely keep my eyes open and decided, why should I? Who would it hurt if I took a little nap before I went home?

  I don’t know how long I was out before someone knocking at the hotel door woke me up. I was briefly disoriented when I woke, but it didn’t take long for reality to penetrate the daze. Rick was gone, and we were no closer to finding Nate’s killer. Whoever was at the door was a persistent fuck and never let up knocking.

  I flung open the door expecting to find the CPD or hotel management on the other side with a request to vacate the premises immediately. Instead, I found one blond host whose smile told me he was certain he offered the most in several areas.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. “I thought it was an urgent matter with the way you kept knocking on the door.”

  “It is an urgent matter,” Stephan said, brazenly pushing past me and entering the room. “I want you to fuck me.”

  “I didn’t invite you in.”

  “Well, I’m not a vampire, so I don’t really need one,” he replied sassily.

  “I think you misinterpreted my words,” I said slowly. “I didn’t say that because you wouldn’t be physically able to enter my room without an invitation; I said it because I don’t want you here.”

  “Yes, you do,” he replied, just as slowly. I had to give the guy credit because I’d never met anyone as bold as him, and I’d worked with cold-blooded killers for two decades. Stephan had made quick work of the buttons on his dress shirt before he untucked and removed it. “One blondie for dessert coming right up.” He opened his pants to reveal that he wasn’t wearing anything beneath his slacks besides a hard-on and that he was natural blond.

  I shouldn’t have even entertained the idea of fucking the guy, but what better way was there to celebrate the fact that my heart still beat in my chest and blood still pumped through my veins, especially in my hardening cock. Stephan wickedly grinned when he saw that he’d won. He pulled out a condom and packet of lube from his back pocket and tossed them on the bed before he shoved his pants to his ankles and stepped out of his shoes and socks.

  “Not so fast,” I said when he moved to get on the bed. I stroked my erection through my slacks and smiled at the way his eyes burned with lust. “Bring those pretty lips over here?”

  Sex with Stephan was a welcome distraction that helped ease the loneliness and disillusionment, but it was only a temporary fix. The misery I’d felt earlier returned as soon as he redressed and left my hotel room. I took a shower to wash away the smell of a guy I didn’t even like and hoped the hot water would cleanse the guilt that permeated my soul. What kind of man was I? I had just learned that my friend died and instead of grieving, I banged a twenty-something kid with more confidence than sense.

  I turned the water as hot as I could take it and stood beneath the spray while I tried to add up everything that had happened in the past three months. I had no answers, no clue where to go next, and no one to talk to about my problems. Hell, I already pestered Corbin a lot for club advice and my other best friend, Beau, was a deputy sheriff in Big Timber, Montana. They didn’t have time for my whining. Hell, they probably would want to know when the body snatchers took the real Jonathon Silver and left the cry baby in his place.

  I didn’t hear my phone ringing when I was in the shower, but there was a voicemail from Detective Wyatt for me. I called him straight back without listening to his message.

  “Detective,” I said when he answered the call.

  “I just wanted to let you know what I’ve discovered so far tonight,” he told me. I listened as he explained that Rick died from a single gunshot wound to the head. “On his desk was a note tha
t said he was responsible for the deaths, but didn’t say that he killed them. I’m not sure what it means right now, and I’ll continue to vigorously investigate this case, as well as your brother’s and the other victims.”

  I was nearly at a loss for words. What did Rick mean when he said he was responsible? Something didn’t add up, and it sounded like Detective Wyatt felt the same way. I believed that he would investigate until he had answers. “I appreciate the information, Detective.” I started to hang up, but he said my name.

  “What are you doing on Sunday?” Detective Wyatt asked, catching me off guard.

  “Sunday? Isn’t that Easter?” He had me scratching my head.

  “Yes, do you have plans for dinner?”

  “Are you asking me…”

  “My boyfriend is an amazing cook and is making enough food for three armies. You’ve had a rough time lately, and I thought you could use a home-cooked meal and some good company. No pressure,” he added. “I’ll text you our address in case you want to come.”

  “Okay,” I replied. It shocked me that Detective Wyatt would invite me to his house. Did he think I was so pathetic that I didn’t have someplace to go? Fuck, if it wasn’t true though. I knew I wasn’t going to be very good company, but on the bright side, I could meet the man who clearly had a tight grip on the sexy detective’s heart. “I’ll give it some thought.”

  “Goodnight, Silver,” the detective said before he hung up.

  A little voice in the back of my head said, what the hell do you have to lose by going to dinner? I shrugged and said out loud, “Not a damn thing.”

  “Just walk up to the door and ring the doorbell. You can do this, Em.” It wasn’t my inner voice cheering me on as I stood at the end of my driveway, it was Memphis. “Don’t be afraid to make friends and live again, cuz.”