by S. K Munt
‘Well, thank you but I don’t see how you’re going to be able to make good on that threat if you stay up here all night.’ Lindy sighed and got to her feet, making a move to pick up an empty chocolate box but I snatched it up before she could and put it in the wastebasket. ‘Naw, you’re a good girl, Larkin. I’m going to miss you when you move into the north wing.’
I swallowed down a lump of emotion and nodded, knowing I would cry if I tried to speak. Everything was changing and for me, the biggest change of all was now only a week away, waiting for my own sixteenth birthday. The day I would leave the dorm. The day I would be rendered infertile. The day I would finish my transition from girl, to woman, to a thing. I couldn’t imagine what any of it would be like if Kohén changed too!
‘Did he… did he ask about me?’ I asked finally, turning to eye her. ‘Did you see him?’
‘I did.’ Lindy’s eyes flitted away and my stomach tightened. ‘I’m sorry Larkin, but he won’t be coming up. Firstly well, he’s sixteen today so he’s no longer permitted upstairs in this wing and secondly, he’s very, uh busy and was involved in rather heated conversation with his brother when I happened upon him and apologised for you.’
‘You actually mentioned me to him?’ I asked, dismayed that he hadn’t at least sent for me.
‘I told him about your sore throat and the fact that you would be resting all day and all night yes.’ She sighed. ‘He asked me to pass along his well wishes, and then said to his brother that at least this time, the frog had gotten into your throat without his assistance, so that was a relief.’ I inhaled sharply and Lindy winced. ‘Larkin I don’t want to meddle in your private affairs... but you and the prince aren’t at odds because he attempted to make you eat a frog, are you?’
I laughed, and her eyebrows shot up in shock. I’d always had issues with the caste but at least in Lindy’s case, I knew that she probably wouldn’t have fared well in the Academics, even with the finest of educations!
‘No,’ I said, still chuckling. ‘He most certainly did not.’
‘Then why are you fighting?’
I glanced over at the box still under my bed, and smiled sadly. It had been six months since our kiss, and the fact that Kohén had managed to stay so angry at me for so long was alarming- but the fact that he was still so hung up over my frog remark only proved how much he cared about my opinion. It didn’t matter if he cared as a lover or a brother or a friend- it only mattered that our friendship survived long enough for us to have the chance to piss the other off all over again in the future, and that in the end, I would swallow my pride before I allowed it to count more to me than he did. ‘Because we’re both as stubborn and proud as the other.’ I began to walk towards the bed and pulled out the box. ‘And if he can’t admit that to my face, then I guess it’s up to me to do it.’
I heard Lindy move. ‘You’re going to the party?’
‘I’m going,’ I said grimly. ‘And once I do, you’re going to close the door behind me and take a nap before you even consider tidying up this mess, got it?’
‘Yes! Larkin, anything you say! Whatever it takes to get you in that dress and naming me!’
I laughed and opened the box, my heart a mallet against my ribs when I saw the slippery, silken fabric catch the light and waver under it like water. ‘Then please, get the shoebox out of my cupboard, okay? The fairy-tale gown needs fairy-tale shoes.’
Lindy waddled off to comply, and I pulled the dress out of the box and held it against myself, swallowing yet again. It was beautiful and it would turn heads, but if I kept the rest simple, no one would notice me inside it, not with the other Given glimmering about with their diamantés and pearls and excitement.
No one but Kohén, who I was going to force to look at me and decide what caste our relationship belonged in, and if it was one that he was also prepared to fight for.
*
It took me all of two minutes to get dressed. The gown had a fitted corset, so I didn’t need any undergarments aside from the delicate silver silk panties that Lindy fetched for me, and my legs were mostly bare and had been waxed the day before, so there was no need for pantyhose or petticoats or anything else fussy and ridiculous. I slipped the dress on, fanned out the skirt behind me and then pulled the band out of my hair.
‘What are you going to do with it?’ Lindy demanded, spritzing me with perfume scented like jasmine and lilies, two blooms that I knew well.
‘I haven’t got time to do anything with it, but I washed it today so that’ll suffice.’ I turned away from the mirror before the sight of my cleavage could spook me into changing my mind, and began to run my fingers through my hair, loosening the weave until it swung free and rippled faintly as a result of having been braided. I’d left the shoebox beneath the bed too, but when I ducked down, was surprised to see that it had vanished.
‘Really?’ Lindy whined. ‘But it would look so lovely up… maybe with a feathered hair piece?’
‘No! No that would be overkill- and would make me road kill. Just… could you please find me a brush?’ I couldn’t believe that I’d wasted the whole day just to rush now! And I couldn’t believe that one of the girls I’d just tripped over myself to compliment had hidden my shoes! I wanted to get angry but every second that ticked away felt like it was widening the divide between Kohén and I, and Lindy’s fussing and excitement was getting on my nerves. ‘Great! Just great!’
‘What?’ Lindy asked, leaning over to run the brush gently through my hair.
‘My shoes have disappeared, and I don’t think I have any others to wear.’
‘Are you sure?’ Lindy asked. ‘Maybe they’re just misplaced…?’
‘They’re not,’ I said sighing and straightening. ‘And I don’t have any others that will match the dress. Shit!’
‘Language!’ she paused. ‘You think one of them…?’
‘I know that one did,’ I said acidly as I rifled through the bottom of my closet and silently cursed the perpetrator’s name, whatever that might prove to be. But I also knew that I was foolish for not keeping at least one nice pair of heels handy, like the other girls did. Now what was I going to do? I couldn’t wear my black house flats with the dress, or my white running shoes, or white boots because it would look ridiculous, and none of the other girls had shoes that would fit me. Elfin had huge feet, and Kelia and Lette, tiny ones. Emmerly might be closer to my size but hers were all downstairs and I wasn’t yet allowed into the north wing, let alone to walk through the throne room barefoot and borrow shoes without asking first!
‘This is tragic!’ Lindy despaired.
‘Not having high heels handy? My, my Lindy… how stiff your blue collar has become in here!’ I teased, pulling out my pale pink ballet slippers and studying them thoughtfully. ‘Especially for someone who kicked her own shoes off hours ago and is proudly showing off her bunion!’
‘Oh hush up, you little sass-mouth,’ she said, but with good humour. ‘Wait… you’re wearing dancing shoes?’
‘Makes sense to me, being that there will be dancing and they sort of match the dress in the back, don’t you think?’ I pushed my toes into the right slipper and then pulled on the heel. We weren’t supposed to wear any colour but white, but they were close and passed for classes so what were the chances that I’d be called a harlot for wearing something slightly tinted? I leaned against the bed and pushed my left foot into the other than began to lace the ribbons up my legs. ‘How do they look?’
Lindy frowned, staring at my feet. ‘Honestly…? Sort of perfect.’
‘Nothing’s perfect in this world,’ I said, tying the second bow and telling myself that the soccer ball on my bed wasn’t judging me for selling out to such girly things. ‘But they’ll do.’
It took a few minutes to get the bows to the right height and while I fussed with them, Lindy tried to smooth my hair and dab a berry-coloured gloss onto my lips. But luckily, I was done before she could come at me with the silver iridescent powder puff that she was
wielding, and I waved it off, getting myself a light dusting over my head but protecting my eyelids. ‘Thank you Lindy, but there’s no time for that and starting would look silly without doing my whole face. I have a frog to kiss and hope like hell that he acts like a normal guy afterwards, and not a prince!’
‘But Larkin… you’re not half as prepared for tonight as the other girls are!’
‘Then that is perfect because no one will accuse me of trying, so your dress will speak for itself,’ I said, pausing at the door and blowing her a kiss. ‘Now, sit, tell me I look lovely, and wish me well.’
Lindy grinned at me with teary eyes, sitting obediently. ‘You look beyond lovely.’
‘Thank you.’ I pressed my hand to my chest and smiled fondly at her. ‘And I mean- from the bottom of my heart, Lindy. Or is it, fairy-godmother?’ she frowned, confused and I smiled, waving my hand. ‘Never mind. You’re my guardian angel then, how’s that?’
She dimpled, watery eyes shining. ‘Perfect.’ She shook her finger at me. ‘Now watch your cussing young lady, or you’ll ruin the illusion of the gown!’
‘I will!’ I nodded, waved and then closed the door between us, knowing it had been a mistake to read the book that Kohl had sent me again that day, because The Godfather, although brilliant, used cuss words like exclamation points and I had let a few slip in the months since he’d sent it.
‘Okay….’ I whispered to myself as I hurried along the hall. ‘Here we go…no cussing g, no approaching nobility, no drinking in excess...’
I’d started to believe some time ago that my thoughts had a way of bringing things to pass, not because I had a direct line to God or anything like that, but because thought, will and wishes were powers unto themselves that God had left in his place for us to take advantage of. It was a half-cocked conviction of mine, but one that I’d never believed in so much, as I did in the moment when I rounded the corner of the stairwell and found myself looking down at Prince Kohén of Arcadia, who was halfway up the stairs, and coming straight at me.
Coming straight TO me. For all of his talk and cold shoulders and silence, there he was, breaking the rules by entering the east wing for me, and he was alone and looked as frazzled as I had been feeling since I’d seen him last. My breath left me in a whoosh and I gripped onto the banister of the landing to catch myself, expelling his name on my exhalation.
‘Kohén!’ He looked nothing like the boy who had left me behind and that was startling to me, but not as startling as the way his eyes widened when our gazes met, or the way his lips parted in astonishment. ‘I missed you so much!’
Kohén came to a dead halt and opened his mouth to say something, but I flung myself at him before he could and wrapped myself around him, squeezing him until he gasped. ‘I’m sorry!’ I mewled into the curve of his neck, breathing in his incredible new scent and trying not to notice how he’d filled out and hardened in his time away. He was wearing a tuxedo- I’d never seen him in one before and his hair was combed back and out of his face in a dashing way that made my insides buzz when I pulled back and met his gaze once more.
Oh, I’ve missed him! I have to make this right!
‘It was a joke!’ I exploded. ‘A lie. Stupid gossip and it wasn’t true! And to prove that I mean to make things right...’ I cupped his sharp jaw and gazed imploringly into his eyes. ‘Kiss me, okay?’ His eyes widened with alarm but I pressed a finger to his lips. ‘I know you’re angry, but just do it right now, and I swear to God that I’ll tell everyone who will listen about how wonderful you are at it so no one believes her lies and so that one day, noblewomen will line up for the chance to steal a kiss of their own! And you deserve that Kohén and none of them will be able to see your crown for your eyes.’ I smiled warmly, so thrilled to have him in my arms again that I could have held him forever. ‘These eyes, God…’ I traced my fingertips along his dark and furrowed brow. ‘I’ve never seen them so clear and bright as they look right now.’ I smiled at him warmly, allowing my heart to thump in appreciation. ‘You’re beautiful, you know that? Truly beautiful. I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to notice it or tell you how important you are to me. It doesn’t matter why I came here- only that when I leave, I will be taking half of what is so real between us with me.’
Kohén’s brow smoothed out. ‘I’m beautiful?’ he whispered huskily. ‘What about you?’ his hands remembered to move and they did- burying into my hair and pulling my face close. ‘You look like Heaven. Not just the place, and not just the girl it was named for- but every feeling that name conjures to mind. Every Angel, every sun ray… every star...’
I fell in love with him in a heartbeat, and then suffered a deadfall into the heart of fear in the next. ‘Kohén…’ I whispered, no- pleaded. I gripped his hands, terrified. Some of Kohén’s clumsier confessions to feeling affection towards me had taken the wind out of me in the past, but these smooth, poetic ones were fatal to my self-control. ‘I-’
His hands curved around the back of my head and yanked my face to his and when our lips met the explosion of pure electricity between us made me gasp and melt. He caught me and moaned, pulling me back to him and we stumbled backwards down the stairs in a tangle of limbs and heat and lust. I heard us hit the wall at the base of the half-landing, but I didn’t feel anything but him. The kiss was wild- his tongue lapping against mine, his hands running from my hair, down my neck and shoulders and then back up to my hair again before he groaned and crushed me in his arms as though he couldn’t possibly hold me tightly enough.
‘Oh!’ I whispered when his teeth raked gently down my neck. He suckled on my collarbone then and grunted in satisfaction and I felt something warm and buzzing develop in the deepest pit of my stomach. We were acting too passionately- passionately enough to ruin our friendship forever, but if it meant that I got to love him in every way but the biblical one until I was twenty-one than it would be worth my broken heart after.
‘You’re delicious…’ he whispered to my skin. ‘God… where have you been all my life?’
I giggled and steered his face up to mine. ‘Right here, waiting for my sailor to come home.’
Kohén groaned and then we were kissing once more, but the tone had changed. His lips were slower, and I kept my hands on his shoulders, delighting every time he sighed sweetly and twirled the tip of his tongue around mine. I couldn’t believe this was happening, but he’d overcome his lust and had steered our moment back to somewhere more romantic, if not chaste, and had earned my trust whole-heartedly. I pulled back to tell him that- and that I loved him- and then blinked, convinced that I was suffering a hallucination of some sort because there was another Kohén standing on the landing behind us, and he looked anything but trustworthy. In fact, he looked downright dangerous and the golden crown on his head was resting on the slightly shaggy head of hair that I’d once smushed a snowball into.
‘Kohl?!’ the figment of my imagination demanded, looking incensed. ‘And YOU?’ His eyes burned into mine. ‘What the FUCK-’ and then he was flying at us and pulling the other Kohén off me. No, not the other Kohén, I realised a beat later, and promptly suffered the closest thing to a heart attack that a fifteen-year-old girl can experience.
He pulled Kohl off me.
His twin.
I’d just welcomed the wrong Barachiel boy home, and had come within a beat of confessing my love to the unfamiliar third-born boy who sent me books.
27.
I let out a squeak of horror when I saw Kohén’s balled fist pull back and go sailing towards Kohl’s jaw, but before the punch could connect, Kohl moved his head and rolled, knocking Kohén over, who had been half-crouched over him. The force behind Kohén’s swing made him land hard and I shrieked again and reached forward, wrapping my left hand around Kohén’s bicep to pull him up, while warning Kohl back with the other.
‘Stop!’ I cried, so scared that I was shaking uncontrollably. My fear wasn’t just for the brother’s safety, but what would happen if they beat one ano
ther black and blue over me in the servant’s wing when they were supposed to be downstairs at their birthday party! The duchess would have my neck, the party would be ruined and the Given girls would never forgive me for it. ‘I don’t understand what just happened, but I do know that fisticuffs won’t improve the evening one little bit!’
‘My evening can’t get much worse right now, so beating the shit out of him will do wonders for my mood!’ Kohén raged, shrugging me off the moment he was on his feet again. He didn’t look at me and I was relieved because I wasn’t sure if I can handle it if he did. He lunged forward, grabbed his brother by his lapels and shoved him up against the wall. ‘What the hell were you trying to do?!’
‘What you asked me to do!’ Kohl shot back, his eyes narrowed dangerously. ‘What the fuck is the matter with YOU? You told me that you wanted Emmerly off your back and though I can’t for the life of me imagine why I-’
‘That’s not EMMERLY!’ Kohén ranted. ‘That’s Larkin, you IDIOT!’
Kohén told Kohl to do WHAT with Emmerly? Oh my God!
I’d never seen a person go grey before, but Kohl Barachiel did then. His head moved and his eyes focused on me. Focused- then dilated. ‘No way…’ he breathed and I shrank into myself, humiliated to realise that not only had I been kissing the wrong boy, but the boy had been kissing the wrong girl and completely unaware of it. ‘You’re the little bird?!’
Oh. My. God.
I bit my lip, looking from Kohén to Kohl and then back again, feeling crushed. Those poetic words hadn’t been an expression of endearment from a boy to a girl- they had been lines recited by a young man who had read as many romances as I, and had probably just been waiting for a girl stupid enough to fall for them to happen along. My heart exploded like a locust in King Elijah’s charge. I’d thought Kohén had forgiven me and wanted me! Now I’d taken four giant stumbling bounds backwards!
‘Yes, way!’ Kohén grunted, shoving Kohl up against the wall again. ‘Why do you think I’m so fucking mad? She’s the one girl here who I DON’T want you to get your oily hands on!’
