Cherish the Dream

by Jodi Thomas

  “Yes, ma’am,” Cody answered as he held his arms out for Bart’s son.

  Eighteen

  THE CALENDAR TURNED from 1911 to 1912, but Cody Masters did not celebrate. Instead he counted the last minutes before midnight with the names of his friends who’d died over the past months. Though he hoped Bart Rome was still alive, Cody had included his name among the casualties. What started for Cody as a bright adventure had become an addiction. At first the excitement of flight thrilled him, then it drove him to push faster and higher, and now it seemed to be the only thing that made him feel alive.

  The memory of Katherine haunted his dreams, though she wanted none of his attention. Sometimes he felt like a kite flying high in the wind, untouched by anything or anyone. She was his only connection to the earth. She remained the only person, male or female, he’d ever met who could understand him, who could hold him without his wanting to fly away as he had from every other relationship that might bind him.

  He’d made a point of dropping by the hospital every time he had a chance, but Katherine was rarely there. When she was, she seemed too tired to spend more man a few minutes with him. Somehow she made him feel guilty for taking up any of her time. But he felt bound to her by something far stronger than the secret they shared.

  He’d watched Sarah’s world center around little Matthew, but Katherine’s world had no center. Katherine plodded through life like one of the patients pacing a ward at the state hospital. She had no hope of escape, but her survival instinct wouldn’t allow her to stop walking the boundaries.

  Cody pulled his Model A pickup onto the state hospital grounds and cut the engine. Miss Willingham had told him Katherine slept at the state hospital in Columbus during the week so she could work both Sarah’s shift and her own until their contracts were completed. On weekends she caught the train to Dayton and helped with the baby.

  Now, almost fourteen months after she’d started work, tonight Katherine would complete both her year and Sarah’s at the state hospital.

  He watched the door for almost an hour before Katherine walked out and headed toward the train station. For a moment he didn’t recognize her, bundled up in her long dark cape. She looked thinner than he remembered. She’d pinned back her hair harshly from her face, and her bearing remained, as always, tall and straight. She might not be the natural nurse Sarah seemed to be, but she was a fighter; he could see it in her stride.

  “Kat!” Cody shouted as he started the engine.

  Turning toward him without a smile, she spoke his name so softly her voice caught in the frosty air and hung between them like a thought. In the months since Matthew’s birth, Cody couldn’t remember seeing her smile. The day of Bart’s crash she’d locked all emotions away except her loyalty to Sarah. No matter how hard he tried to break the lock, it stood between them and any happiness they might find together.

  “I thought I’d offer you a ride back to Dayton.” He held the door open for her, wondering if she’d make this small concession.

  “Sorry I couldn’t borrow a car, but this truck drives better in bad weather.” He waited for her to accept his offer. So far all she’d taken from him was the money she needed for Sarah. She seemed to have removed him from her life with a clean cut and bandaged the wound with her pride.

  Katherine hesitated, allowing the icy wind to pull at her cape with freezing fingers before she nodded and climbed into the warm cab.

  “Miss Willingham said this was your last night at the state hospital.” He noticed Katherine didn’t even look back at the building. “Not much of a farewell party.”

  Leaning her head against the seat she said, “These last few months seemed endless. I start Monday at the Willingham Clinic and Hospital.”

  “That’s great.” Cody was thinking more of the weekend than of the new job.

  “I guess.” No excitement colored her words. “I’ll be an instructor, and so will Sarah when she’s able. I think Miss Willingham offered us the job more to keep Matthew close than anything else. She even offered us a private suite right across from hers.”

  “Is that what you want?” Cody knew it wasn’t, but he had to know if she lied to herself as well as to him.

  “Yes, though I had another offer.” Katherine let out a long breath. “Dr. Farris left the state hospital two months ago to open a practice in gynecology and pediatrics. He told me I could have a job with him if I ever needed one, but it would be here in Columbus and that’s too far from Sarah and the baby.”

  Cody pulled the truck onto the main road as snow began to fall. He couldn’t tell by her words which job would have been her choice if the baby hadn’t been a factor to consider. “I thought you’d be more comfortable driving than riding the train tonight. I also figured this was the only way I’d get a chance to talk to you.”

  Katherine closed her eyes. “Thanks, but you shouldn’t have gone to the trouble, I would have been fine taking the train.”

  Fighting back a reply, Cody concentrated on his driving.

  Why was it that whenever he tried to do anything for her, she fought him so? When he was with her, he felt like he was flying high and always about to destroy their fragile relationship with any sudden move.

  After driving in silence for several minutes he realized she’d fallen asleep. Carefully he pulled her near and adjusted her head against his shoulder. He untied her cape and blanketed it over her. She cuddled into his warmth, and Cody’s heart tightened with longing. She felt so right by his side, like a puzzle piece in his life that had always been missing. He’d always been alone, an only child born of parents who worried more about how tidy his room was than about whether he was happy. Cody couldn’t remember ever minding the loneliness until he met Kat, but now her slightest touch made him long for more.

  He tightened his arm around her, loving the way she molded herself against him. They drove for half an hour before a light up ahead waved them to the side of the road.

  Cody rolled down the window, trying to move as little as possible. “What’s the problem?” he shouted at a man waving a lantern.

  “Car wrecked on the bridge. It’ll be a few minutes before they get it cleared.”

  After closing the window, he pulled Katherine closer and looked down into sleepy green eyes. “How long has it been since you’ve had any sleep?”

  “Two days, almost three.” She moved away slightly.

  “Don’t pull away from me, Kat.” Cody fought the urge to hold her to him even if it was against her will. “I’m not poison.”

  “We shouldn’t be here like this.” Her words were thick with sleep. “We shouldn’t be alone.”

  “Why? Because you dislike my nearness so much, or because you allow yourself no happiness?” Cody knew he was shouting at her, but he’d bottled all his emotions up since Bart’s crash. “Do you have to punish us both for the rest of our lives because you told one lie to Sarah? At least she and Bart had each other for a few months before they were separated.”

  Katherine turned away, and something inside Cody snapped like a tight kite string. He grabbed her by the shoulders and twisted her in the seat until they faced each other. “Tell me you don’t care for me and I’ll disappear forever.” Seeing no resistance, he pulled her close so he could memorize her face in the shadows. “Tell me, Kat, just how much you hate the sight of me.”

  She tried to pull away, but he held her fast and shouted, “I’m through playing this game by your rules! Now we play by mine and the only thing that’s going to stop me is if you say you don’t dream of being in my arms as much as I dream of holding you in mine.”

  He saw it first in the depths of her tear-brightened eyes. A need as deep as his own. A longing for what they’d never had but both desired.

  She slowly raised her hand to his cheek, but no words came.

  Her fingers brushed his face lightly as if trying to decide if he was reality or dream.

  “Kat, let’s declare a truce. Right here, right now, we’re in no-man’s-land
and all hostilities are suspended. Let me hold you for these few moments. Let’s pretend there is no place else just now. No one, not even God, will miss a few minutes.”

  “Right here, right now,” she whispered in a sob. Her fingertips brushed his lips as softly as one might try to touch a dream. “For only a little while, then never again?”

  Cody wasn’t sure which of them moved first, but all at once he was kissing her. Wildly, passionately, as he had in his dreams. Her arms encircled his neck, pulling him to her.

  He twisted his fingers into her hair and heard the pins fall like tiny nails against the metal floor of the truck cab. When her hair tumbled around her, he grabbed a fistful and held on as if holding on to life.

  Snow silently fell against the windshield, curtaining them from the world while his heart pounded violently. This was the Katherine he knew, wild and free. Her kisses grew more demanding as she came alive in his arms. Gulping for life once more, she no longer sat back allowing it to happen.

  Her kiss told him what her words would not. That she had dreamed and relived the other times he’d held her. He’d felt that oneness with her when he first touched her during the game at O’Grady’s when they balanced so perfectly together atop the board. Being with her balanced his life.

  Cody wasn’t sure what he’d said that had broken her shell, and right now he didn’t care. He had to feel the Katherine he remembered beside him once more. He was holding the girl who’d flown with him that morning so long ago and the woman who’d first come to life in his bedroom an hour later.

  He pulled her onto his lap and rested her back against the steering wheel. He wondered if he’d have the energy or time to breathe if they continued. He wasn’t sure he cared as long as he could die holding her. Nothing mattered but Katherine in his arms.

  Finally he broke the kiss and threw his head back with sheer joy. “Lord, Kat!”

  She raked her fingers into his hair and pulled his head to her. “Again,” she whispered in a voice blended with demand and need.

  Cody kissed her once more, loving the way her mouth opened to his probing. Her fingers snaked through his hair, sending lightning across his brain, and her breasts pushed into his chest begging to be touched. With her, there was no art of loving, but only raw need. He wondered if he could handle her in bed, then smiled, knowing he’d love to die trying.

  Slowly he stroked her back and arms, attempting to tame her. His mouth softened to a loving caress, and she responded willingly, melting against him. Long and deep, his kisses pulled all the loneliness from her. He wanted her, had wanted her from the moment their eyes met. Katherine wasn’t a flower to be picked, but a wild, wonderful garden to be nurtured and cherished for a lifetime.

  His hands circled her waist and pulled her close. Tenderly he brushed the sides of her body, slowly climbing upward to the swell of her breasts. As his fingers brushed lightly across the wool, he closed his eyes and pictured what rested just beneath the material of her uniform.

  When his fingers climbed higher, he felt her moan against his lips. Their kiss grew into liquid fire, sparked into flames again and again by the brush of his fingers across her breast.

  When finally he broke the kiss to breathe, Cody buried his face in her wonderful hair. “I want to taste you,” he whispered, “here.” He bit lightly into her throat. “And here.” He ran his tongue lightly along her lip. “And here.” He molded his hand over the swell of her breast.

  Kat leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

  For a long while Cody watched her face as he touched her, loving the pleasure he brought her and wishing there was no material between his hand and her flesh. When he could stay his hunger no longer he pulled her closer and kissed her open mouth. She tasted of a passion he’d never have enough of to be satisfied.

  She welcomed his kiss as she had his touch, as though she’d been starved of it for too long. Her fingers slid through his hair again and again, demanding he continue the pleasure he was bringing her, demanding he give totally during the moment they had together.

  Someone tapped on the window, bringing Cody back to earth. “You folks can move on now. Wouldn’t want to freeze out here.” The man wandered off toward the next car.

  Katherine looked up, her eyes fiery green, her cheeks red with passion. She laughed suddenly. “I’m not in the least danger of freezing.”

  Cody trapped her face in his hands. “I was growing rather warm myself.” He kissed her nose.

  “Once more,” she pleaded as she lifted her fingers to his mouth. Lightly she tasted the skin at his knuckles. “Can time stay stopped for one more kiss?”

  He couldn’t have found the words to answer if he’d tried. All he could do was obey her request. He pulled her against him and kissed her with a heart full of need and a lifetime of longing.

  When she finally lifted her head, she smiled down at him. “Thank you,” she whispered. “We have to start the clock again.”

  Without another word she cuddled next to him, and Cody pulled the truck back onto the road. They moved slowly through the snow, both lost in their own thoughts.

  Hours later Katherine snuggled against him like a child in her father’s arms when he carried her into the dorm. He nodded to Sarah as she rocked Matthew, then headed for Katherine’s bedroom. She didn’t awaken when he slipped her shoes off and covered her with a blanket. The lines of exhaustion had relaxed around her face. He couldn’t resist one last taste of her lips before moving away.

  Even with the taste of her still in his mouth he already hungered for more.

  When he walked back into the sitting room, Sarah laid the baby lovingly in his crib.

  “Want a cup of coffee?” She smiled at the baby as she asked.

  “Sure.” Cody tried to think of something besides the redhead in her bed only a few feet away. He knew if Sarah hadn’t been up, he would have been very tempted to lock Katherine’s door and crawl in beside her. There’d have been hell to pay the next morning, but he would have had a night of heaven first.

  “Milk and sugar?”

  “What?” Cody ran his fingers through his hair, trying to clear his brain. He looked down to accept the cup and noticed blood on his hand.

  Sarah saw it, along with the crimson stain along his hairline. “You’re bleeding.” She hurried to examine the scratch.

  “It’s nothing.” Cody gingerly felt his scalp. “Just a little scratch. I must have bumped into something.”

  As Sarah examined the cut, he fought to keep from laughing. He had run into something all right. A redheaded wildcat. He doubted even Sarah’s gentle caring hands could cure the fever Katherine had started within him.

  “I’m glad you brought Kat home.” Sarah opened a small medicine cabinet.

  “So am I,” Cody answered with total honesty.

  “She cares for you”—Sarah pulled a bottle out—“even if she won’t admit it.”

  Cody touched his scalp. “I’m beginning to see a few signs of that myself.”

  Sarah pushed him toward the rocker. “Don’t give up on her. Give her time.”

  “I’ll try.” He wanted to add that Katherine wasn’t exactly making it easy for him. When she wasn’t giving him frostbite with her coldness, she was burning him with passion.

  Cody folded himself into the chair beside the crib and watched Matthew sleep while Sarah mothered him as if the scratch were a war wound. His easy smile slowly faded to a frown as he realized Bart was somewhere alone tonight not even knowing of the baby’s existence. Bart had a right to know, even if he decided never to tell Sarah the truth. A man should know he was a father.

  He set his jaw and looked up at Sarah. “I’ve been offered a lot of money to go on tour. I’ll be gone for more than a year. I wonder if that will give Kat enough time.” He had a gut feeling Bart was out there somewhere still hanging around planes. If he made enough stops in enough towns he might run into him. And if he could find Bart, maybe he could rid Katherine of her guilt.

  �
��We’ll be here when you return, as far as I know.”

  Cody looked up into her soft blue eyes. “Are you happy?” he asked without thinking how very personal the question was.

  Sarah smiled. “Yes.” She glanced at the baby. “I miss Bart every hour of every day, but I am greatly blessed.”

  Sarah lifted her coffee cup, but didn’t take a sip, “What about Katherine? If you go away on tour you won’t see her for a long time.”

  Cody wanted to tell her he’d wait for a hundred years if he thought Katherine would love him, but he wasn’t sure how Kat felt about him. He had a feeling if she came through the door right now, she’d probably tell him to get out for good and deny everything that had happened in the truck. But then, he had the scars to prove it.

  She needed time to think and so did he. “I’ll be around for another three days. All she has to say is one word and I’ll stay.” He spoke more to himself than to Sarah as he stood. He had finally found someone who made him long to end his wandering. “If I don’t hear from her by the end of the weekend, I’ll see you both in a year.”

  Sarah stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “Take care of yourself, Cody.”

  “Take care of little Matthew,” Cody answered as he almost ran from the room, sealing his fate.

  Nineteen

  THE NEXT MORNING Katherine stood staring out the dormitory window in the direction of the test site. She wanted to run to Cody and never look back. She knew she should probably be ashamed of the way she’d acted when they were alone, but she wasn’t. She’d taken the moment he offered and tried to cram into it all of her passion for him and for life. Those few minutes would have to last her a long time, and she had wanted to feel all there was to feel, including the pain that followed.

  Sarah walked up behind her. “Go to him, Kat.”

  Katherine shook her head. No matter how much she wanted Cody she would never leave Sarah. Not now, when Sarah needed her so desperately. “No. I promised to meet Dr. Lockhart at the hospital this morning. We need to go over my duties.”