How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny

by Joyce Meyer

  I fear that the modern-day Church is not concerned nearly enough about holiness. People don’t usually get excited when we preach about it, and I have noticed they don’t buy many teaching albums on the subject. A new tape series on success is a good seller, but holiness and the crucifixion of the flesh are not as popular, at least not with some people. But thank God, there is the remnant, those few rare individuals who are not just out for “fun” but who intend to glorify God with their lives by being all He intended them to be.

  BE TEMPERATE IN ALL THINGS__________________

  Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but [only] one receives the prize? So run [your race] that you may lay hold [of the prize] and make it yours.

  Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither.

  Therefore I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary.

  But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit].

  1 Corinthians 9:24-27

  Those of us who intend to run the race to win must conduct ourselves temperately and restrict ourselves in all things. We cannot expect someone else to make us do what is right. We must listen to the Holy Spirit and take action ourselves.

  Paul said he buffeted his body. He meant that he disciplined it because he did not want to preach to others, telling them what they should do, and then fail to do it himself. Paul was running the race to win! He knew he could not develop his potential without bringing his body, mind and emotions under the control of his spirit.

  Self-discipline is the most important feature in any life, but especially in the life of the Christian. Unless we discipline our minds, our mouths and our emotions, we will live in ruin. Unless we learn to rule our temper, we can never achieve the success that rightfully belongs to us.

  Consider the following Scriptures:

  He who foams up quickly and flies into a passion deals foolishly….

  Proverbs 14:17

  He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, he who rules his [own] spirit than he who takes a city.

  Proverbs 16:32

  Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools.

  Ecclesiastes 7:9

  …Let every man be…slow…to get angry.

  For man’s anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires].

  James 1:19,20

  The statement that man’s anger does not promote the righteousness God wishes or requires means that anger is not the right way for man to behave; it will not bring the right thing into his life.

  Part of the righteousness God wishes and desires for us is the development of personal potential. Angry people are too busy being angry ever to succeed at being the best they can be.

  If we are truly intent on running the race to win, we must resist negative emotions. There are a great many negative emotions other than just anger, and we certainly should know what they are and be ready to take authority and control over them as soon as they rear their ugly heads. The following is a partial list of negative emotions we must watch out for:

  anger

  bitterness

  depression

  despair discouragement

  envy

  greed

  hate

  impatience

  jealousy

  laziness

  lust

  offense

  pride

  resentment

  sadness

  self-pity

  unforgiveness

  “LET US RUN WITH PATIENCE”__________________

  …let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

  Hebrews 12:1 KJV

  The King James Version of Hebrews 12:1 not only encourages us to run the race, but also to run it with patience. We cannot come to fullness without patience. To illustrate, here is a story based on articles that appeared in the Houston Chronicle in 1997:

  “Jell-O turns 100 this year and the story surrounding its inventor is truly ironic. In 1897, Pearl Wait wore several hats. He was a construction worker who dabbled in patent medicines and sold his ailment remedies door-to-door. In the midst of his tinkering he hit upon the idea of mixing fruit flavoring with granulated gelatin. His wife named it ‘Jell-O’ and Wait had one more product to peddle. Unfortunately, sales weren’t as strong as he’d hoped, so in 1899, Pearl Wait sold his Jell-O rights to Orator Woodward for $450. Woodward knew the value of marketing so within just eight brief years, Wait’s neighbor turned a $450 investment into a $1 million business. Today, not a single relative of Pearl Wait receives royalties from the 1.1 million boxes of Jell-O that are sold each day. Why? Because Wait just couldn’t wait!”3

  This impatient attitude is one of the main reasons that many people never reach their full potential. You may remember that earlier I said time is one of the things that must come between potential and desired manifestation. Pearl Wait desired the manifestation of becoming rich from his invention of Jell-O, but his impatience prevented him from enjoying the full potential of it.

  PATIENCE WORKS PERFECTION__________________

  My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

  James 1:2-4 NKJV

  This passage tells us that when patience has had its perfect work, we will be perfect (fully developed) and complete, lacking nothing. It also speaks about trials of all kinds, and it is during these trials that we are instructed to be patient.

  As I noted in my book, Battlefield of the Mind, “Patience is not the ability to wait, it is the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”4

  Patience is a fruit of the Spirit that manifests in a calm, positive attitude. Impatience is filled with negative emotions and is one of Satan’s tools used to prevent us from reaching fullness and completeness.

  Hebrews 10:36 lets us know that we need patience so that we

  …may perform and fully accomplish the will of God….

  I asked the Lord, “When, God, when?” thousands of times before I finally realized that according to Psalm 31:15 my times are in His hands. God knows the exact time that is right for everything, and none of our impatience is going to rush Him.

  WAIT ON GOD’S PERFECT TIMING__________________

  And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

  Galatians 6:9 KJV

  “Due season” is God’s season, not ours. We are in a hurry, God isn’t. He takes time to do things right — He lays a solid foundation before He attempts to build a building. We are God’s building under construction. He is the Master Builder, and He knows what He is doing. We may not know what He is doing, but He does, and that will have to be good enough. We may not always know, but we can be satisfied to know the One Who knows.

  God’s timing seems to be His own little secret. The Bible promises us that He will never be late, but I have also discovered that He is usually not early. It seems that He takes every available opportunity to develop the fruit of patience in us.

  Vine’s dictionary of Greek words begins the definition of patience (in James 1:3), as “Patience, which grows only in trial….”5 Patience is a fruit of the Spirit that grows under trial.

  My own particular natural temperament is filled with impatience. I have become much more patient over the years, but all the waiting required to teach me patience was hard on me. I wanted everything now!

  I finally found
out that we can fall on the Rock ( Jesus) and be broken, or the Rock will fall on us and break us! (Matthew 21:44.) In other words, we can cooperate with the Holy Spirit and not resist the work of God He is doing in us, or we can refuse to cooperate willingly, and in due time God will have to deal with us more harshly than He might desire. Things will still ultimately work out for our good, but it is always better to give something up than to have it taken away.

  I needed to surrender my will to the will of God. I needed to place myself in His hands and trust His timing. It sounds easy, but it wasn’t, at least not for me.

  I am grateful that our natural temperaments can become “Spirit-controlled temperaments.” The fruit of the Spirit is in us and is being developed along with everything else. As our potential is developed, so is our character, along with a Christlike attitude. It all moves along together. There are several things that must arrive at the finish line at the same time in order for us to win the race.

  Developed potential without character does not glorify God. If we were to become a huge success and yet be harsh with people — that would not be pleasing to the Lord. Therefore, if we get ahead of ourselves in one area, He gently but firmly blocks our progress in that area until the other ones catch up.

  When my ministry growth started getting ahead of my spiritual growth, God graciously blocked the progress of the ministry growth. Of course, I did not understand and was quite put out. I spent my time rebuking demons and trying to do what I thought was spiritual warfare. I was sure that Satan was opposing me — I discovered it was God. I was ahead of Him, and He was putting on the brakes whether I liked it or not.

  We don’t appreciate any of this while it is happening, but later on we realize what an awful mess we would have made if things had been done on our timetable instead of on God’s.

  Patience is vital to the development of our full potential. Actually our potential is only developed as our patience is developed. It is God’s way — there is no other, so why not settle down and enjoy the journey!

  If we don’t develop our potential, it won’t get developed because no one else is interested in doing it for us. Occasionally we do find those rare individuals who delight in helping others be all they can be — but they are rare! My husband Dave has done that for me, and I am very grateful to him for helping me be all I can be. I am succeeding at being myself, and I want the same thing for you.

  Find out what you want to do and begin to train yourself for it. Be relentless in your pursuit of reaching your full potential.

  If you know you can write great songs, then develop your gift; arrange your life so you can write songs. If you know you can lead worship, then practice, learn music, sing with all your mind and heart and believe. Begin leading worship, even if you start with only you and the cat, or you and your children. If you know you have a talent for business, an ability to make money, then study, pray, go to school, step out.

  Whatever your gift and calling, entrust it to the Lord and begin to develop your potential.

  In some way we should improve ourselves every day. We should go forward, letting go of what lies behind. That includes past mistakes and past victories. Even hanging onto the glory of past victories can prevent us from being all God wants us to be in the future.

  Make a decision right now that you will never be satisfied with being anything less than all you can be.

  7

  KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR “WHO” AND YOUR “DO”

  7

  KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR “WHO” AND YOUR “DO”

  For we hold that a man is justified and made upright by faith independent of and distinctly apart from good deeds (works of the Law). [The observance of the Law has nothing to do with justification.]

  ROMANS 3:28

  If we truly desire to succeed at being ourselves, it is absolutely necessary that we have a thorough understanding of what justifies us and makes us right with God. As we have seen in Ephesians 2:8,9, we are justified by faith in Christ alone and not by our works.

  If we have real faith, we will do good works, but our dependence will not be on works. Our works will be done as an act of love for God — in obedience to Him — rather than as a “work of the flesh” by which we hope to gain right standing and acceptance with Him.

  Most people in our society spend a large majority of their lives, and perhaps even their entire lives, feeling wrong about themselves. The world, it seems, continually gives us the message that our worth and value are connected to our “doing.” We say things to one another like: “How are you doing?” “What are you doing?” and “What do you do for a living?” Satan wants us to be more interested in what we do than in who we are as individuals. This type of mindset is deeply rooted in our thinking patterns and is not easily pulled out.

  While we were growing up, our family members compared our performance with the performance of others, and we were questioned regarding why we were not doing as well as our cousin, the child next door or one of our siblings. We felt we were doing the best we could and had no answer to the demanding questions, but we determined that we would try harder. And we did. We tried and tried and tried, and it all seemed to no avail. No matter how hard we tried, it seemed that someone was still not satisfied. We were still getting the message that something was wrong with us. We thought if we could do something great, then we would be accepted by God and others.

  This theory only leaves people worn out, burned out, confused and in some cases mentally ill. I definitely believe that not knowing who they are is what drives millions of people to therapists, counselors, psychiatrists and psychologists. They want someone to talk to who will understand them, someone who won’t make them feel guilty. They have not been affirmed by their parents or their peers, and as a result they feel deeply flawed. They think they have some kind of mental, social or psychological problem, when really all they need is unconditional love and acceptance.

  You and I may have wrong behavior, but it will not be changed until we are accepted and loved apart from what we do.

  Jesus offers the world what it is looking for, but Satan has kept the secret well hidden. The Church in many instances has magnified rules and regulations instead of personal relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ the Son.

  SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS__________________

  For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.

  Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it].

  Hebrews 4:15,16

  There are several key words in these two verses that should not be missed: understand, grace, favor, receive and mercy. These are all “giving words,” that is, words that represent God’s giving to us what we do not deserve, simply because He is so good. Of these words, one of the most important is understand.

  From this one passage we see that Jesus understands us.

  I cannot begin to tell you how comforting it was to me to learn that Jesus understands me!

  Jesus understands us when nobody else does. He even understands us when we don’t understand ourselves. He knows “the why behind the what.” Let me explain what I mean by that statement.

  People only see what we do, and they want to know why we are not doing it better, or why we are doing it at all. Jesus knows why we behave the way we do. He sees and remembers all the emotional wounds and bruises in our past. He knows what we were created for. He knows the temperament that was given to us in our mother’s womb. He knows and understands our weaknesses (which all of us have). He knows about every fear, every insecurity, every doubt, all our wrong thinking about ourselves
.

  Once we enter into personal relationship with Him by being born again (accepting Him as Savior and Lord), He begins a process of restoration in our lives that will not be entirely finished until we leave the earth. One by one He restores to us everything Satan has stolen from us.

  We must aggressively resist the legalistic attitudes that are prevalent in our society. Legalism involves “doing”; it is not about “being.”

  We must understand the difference between our “who” and our “do.”

  Jesus understands us, He loves us unconditionally and He is committed to working with us through the Holy Spirit — and He does not condemn us while He is at it.

  The world demands that we change. It persistently gives us the message that something is wrong with us if we cannot do what is expected of us. On our own, we will never be able to do all that is expected of us. Our only hope is in who we are Christ.

  “IN CHRIST”__________________

  For in Him we live and move and have our being….