Barbara's Redemption

by Diane Saxon

  Every nerve in her body heated to the boiling point, so when he next rocked inside her, small frissons of electric current massed in her core, sending out fiery sparks to tingle through her veins and set her pulse rate hammering.

  She writhed beneath him, desperate for him to finish, hoping he never would. She gasped out his name and felt him lick away her words, her lips captured by his.

  His hands slicked down her body to cup her hips, bringing her closer so they moved as one, and only then did he lose control, holding her tight, filling her, surrounding her while the tremors danced across her skin and fireworks lit the inside of her eyelids to leave her gasping and limp.

  His gentle kiss feathered across her eyelids, too heavy for her to open. He kissed the end of her nose, touched his mouth to hers, and made her give a lazy smile when he stroked his tongue across her lips.

  Limbs tangled together, still giving off gentle shudders, she hadn’t the energy nor the inclination to move, and while she contemplated getting her breathing under control, gentle languor coaxed her to slip into a deep dreamless sleep.

  »»•««

  Barbara gave a gentle turn of her head from where she’d had it tucked into Dominic’s neck. The dim gray light of dawn permeated the room. She blinked as the darkened images of furniture became clearer. Wrapped in his arms, it would be difficult to move without disturbing him, but she’d stayed too long and needed to move. More urgently, she needed to get out of his life before he was hurt.

  Dominic assumed that if she went voluntarily, she’d be safe. He had no idea. She’d not told him. Strachan wasn’t about to run the risk of her getting to the sanctuary of an army facility and blurting out all she’d seen. He’d have a plan, and the likelihood was he had no intention of her reaching that sanctuary.

  The dilemma was, they were coming to get her. They only wanted her. If she gave herself up without protest, Dominic would be safe. If she took off, they may hold him responsible, punish him for releasing her, because they would know he’d let her go. If she stayed and resisted, there was going to be a blood bath and innocents would die. Not much of a dilemma really, her decision was already made, but she needed to prepare herself.

  His deep, even breathing gave the impression he was asleep. “How long have you been awake?”

  His breath puffed across the top of her hair. “The moment you were.”

  “I didn’t mean to disturb you, but I need to move.”

  “There’s no rush.”

  “I think there is.” She turned in the circle of his arms and raised herself over him so she could look at his shadowed features. Too caught up in her feelings to remove herself, she raised one hand to tangle her fingers in the flop of hair on his forehead, skimming them through to the ends until it fell back into place. “Despite our change of status, Professor, you don’t want to be caught in my bed.” With a rueful smile, she swiped his hair back again one last time before she braced herself to leave him.

  In a move so fast she barely had time to admire the agility of the man, he flipped her over and rolled on top of her, pinning her to the bed with the weight of his body and the firm slide of his thigh over the top of hers.

  “He’s not due until ten this morning. We’re not going to get caught, Barbie babe.”

  She knew he wanted her to respond, but she couldn’t find it in her to punch him in the ribs for the slight on her name. He may need her to smile, but the laughter had gone. “I need to prepare myself.”

  It took a moment for him to draw in a long breath before he surprised her when he bracketed her head between his arms and cradled her face with both his hands. “I’ve never known an officer better prepared than you Captain Perry.” Pride vibrated through the deep tones of his voice.

  “Dominic.” He’d just made it so much harder. She squeezed her eyes tight and tried to tamp down the pain wrenching at her chest. How was she supposed to walk away? Turn her back on the overwhelming love she felt for him? A love she had no right to allow him to know about. It was impossible, and yet, she had no option. In order to save them, she had to go.

  Warm lips pressed against her forehead. “Barbara, I have you. Everything’s going to be all right. You’ll see.”

  His confidence was misplaced, but perhaps it was because she hadn’t been entirely honest with him. Perhaps it was time. The sharp prick of tears cleared, and she gazed up into his shadowed features, his eyes too dark to define, but she knew he was looking, sensed his patience.

  “Before I go, may I have one more session?”

  His thumbs circled her temples in a comforting stroke. “It’s not ethical. You’re no longer my patient, and technically you won’t be protected by confidentiality clauses.”

  Ever the professional, she resisted the impulse to laugh at him and chose instead to smooth her fingers down his spine. “Okay, but I think we should get dressed so I can speak with you. I’m ready to confess, and whether you believe it comes under your jurisdiction or not, I think it’s essential for your own safety that you know.”

  His fingers pressed into her scalp, but before he could get serious, she slapped his ass to let him know she meant business and they needed to move. As he rolled his body away from hers, she slipped out of the bed, scooped her clothes up, and padded to the bathroom door. She pulled it open and then spoke over her shoulder to him. “I’ll see you downstairs in fifteen.”

  »»•««

  She was ready, waiting for him in the kitchen. A cup of coffee in each hand, she passed him one and opened her mouth to speak. He accepted the cup and raised his finger to his lips to indicate she wasn’t to say a word. “Morning, Barbara. Did you sleep well?”

  Her crooked smile tempted him to smooch his lips across hers, but he held back in case any sound of their activity transmitted. She moved in closer as though she’d expected some sign of affection from him, but when she spoke, her voice was calm and steady, her gaze flat and all business. “I did. And you?”

  “Yeah. Fine, just fine.” He didn’t want the conversation to be stilted, yet it threatened to be unless he moved it on. “Take a seat for a moment.”

  A quick flash of surprise lit her features. He had no choice. There was nothing for it but to act it through to the end, so he moved away and leaned against the kitchen unit, coffee in his hand, to stare out of the window opposite at the pink and golden hue of the morning sky.

  “I’ve been contacted.” A quick glance told him she was about to speak, but he gave a sharp shake of his head. There was something he hadn’t told her last night, and he needed to get it out before it was too late. “They’ve dispatched an agent to collect you.” She knew that bit too, but she might shove a knife through his ribs for the next part. “He has a warrant for your arrest, and I am tasked with detaining you here until such a time as they arrive.”

  She squinted at him from her seat at his table and took a long, slow sip of her coffee while she studied him. “You think you’re capable of detaining me, Doc?”

  He knew he was physically. He could overpower her, but if she really wanted him to let her go, he didn’t have much option. “I don’t think I need to detain you, Barbara. I think you’ll stay of your own free will.” The woman was killing him. Her sky-blue eyes had pierced his heart, but he knew if she ran, Strachan could use the excuse to kill her. If she stayed and gave herself over willingly, she’d need to go through questioning, but at least it gave her a chance because he knew in his heart she was innocent of the charges they wanted to bring against her. There was no way she was capable of cold bloodedly killing the woman and children. No, as a soldier she was professional and loyal, as a human she was incapable of hurting innocents. “I have faith in our justice system.”

  Her soft snort had him take a closer look. The mist of tears filled her eyes in the brief moment before she looked away. “I’ll wait.”

  “Good.” He picked up the coffee jug, topped off his own cup, and offered it to her. As she leaned forward to accept, all he wanted to do was tak
e hold of her and pull her into his arms. Sadness emanated from her like a dark cloud of loneliness, making him desperate to reassure her he would stand by her no matter what. He believed in her innocence. “Let’s go and wrap a couple of things up in my office so when they arrive there’s no delay.”

  He let her lead the way down the hallway, but pulled her to a halt as they passed the door down the stairs to the lockdown unit. As she turned to face him, her eyebrows lifted in inquiry, and he jerked his head at the door. “It may be an idea to go and get your belongings from downstairs.” She had no belongings down there and they both knew it, but he needed to get her alone, just for a short while, and if anyone was listening, they shouldn’t be able to pick up on them once he had her downstairs. It may have been clear the night before, but their status may change at any time.

  Light-footed, she shot down the stairs and headed straight for the hidden door. The hollow echo of their boots was the only sound as they strode along the hallway until they reached the Dreampsych Transcender room. She punched in the code and entered. He shouldn’t have been surprised she knew it, but a small flame of pride unfurled within him.

  When the door slid to, he grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to push her against the wall, spilling both their coffees in his haste to plaster his mouth against hers. Desperate to communicate his faith in her, he pressed his body against hers, relieved when she responded. Her soft lips opened to his as he took the lead and plunged his tongue into her mouth, a deep groan shuddering its way through his chest. He’d never stop wanting her. She’d fought her way into his heart, and he was helpless to protect it any longer.

  The warm spill of coffee down his shoulder brought him back to reality. He edged away from her to study her flushed face, her feverish eyes. She felt the same, she had to. In light of the imminent and obvious danger, she still had no resistance, but despite their need, time had run out. Sex against the wall was no longer an option.

  Regret shimmered through him. Perhaps he should have quit his position a few days earlier. At least he would have had longer than just one night with her. He raised his hand, caressed the silken smoothness of her cheek, and felt it dimple under his touch. “We need to move.”

  “Yes.” She turned her head and touched her lips to his palm before pushing against him.

  The flame leaped high, scorching his belly with hope, only to be dashed at her cool gaze as she moved to put distance between them.

  With a shake of her head, she slumped into one of the chairs. He may no longer officially be her therapist, but it seemed as though she needed him now more than ever. She’d made the move, that leap of faith to allow her to open up to him. He recognized it and only hoped they had enough time for him to help.

  He lowered himself into the chair opposite, wanting to urge her on, but he leaned back to wait. He’d been trained to wait under any and all circumstances, but he’d never experienced anything like this in his life. He linked his fingers and rested his hands on his stomach, noting the fast quirk of her lips. At least something could still amuse her, and it appeared his professor status tickled her every time.

  Her long drawn out breath drew his attention back to the strain on her face.

  “It was my third tour of duty to Afghanistan. I’d been flying troops in and out of the hot zones for a couple of weeks before I was sent back to the main camp. I had some down time. There’s nothing to do out there. Nowhere to go just to be alone. You can be lonely, but never alone. The guys had been assigned to the peacekeeping mission. Strachan and his team.

  “I was finished with my tour, due to get a flight back home the following day. It was my last night.” With a self-deprecating shrug, she leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees. She dangled her hands, nodding her head as though she could see the past in her mind’s eye. “I’d been almost three months on this tour of duty. It felt like years. The locals…” She chewed on her bottom lip, gave a slight shake of her head as she stared at the floor. “They’d been delighted to see us at first, frenzied in their hysteria, hugging us every time we went into the village with our coffee and our candies.”

  Barbara raised her head and her sorrow cut him soul deep. “The women, the children, they came to me, wrapped their arms around me, touched my hair, stroked my arms.” She fluttered her fingers in front of her face while she met his gaze. “They loved my eyes. They said they were the color of the sky.” There was no conceit in what she said, just a bald statement of fact. “To them it brought luck.” Her delicate nostrils flared as she drew in a deep breath, and they’d been absolutely right, a summer’s day sky shone from her eyes, even in the bleakest of storms. “Then I started to notice their fear. Their huge, dark eyes stared with curiosity from their dirty little faces, but I never knew, never understood until that night.” She paused to touch her fingertips to her top lip and dabbed at the beads of moisture there.

  Reluctant to move, Dominic forced himself to remain still, desperate to leap from his seat and pace the room so he didn’t have to witness her pain, live through it with her as she rocked his world on its axis. He had no idea another person’s misery could affect him to such a degree. He could quite easily switch off his emotions when listening to a patient, but she was no longer his patient but his lover, his love.

  Uncomfortable with the thought, he eased himself up, leaning forward to imitate her position, all the time never taking his gaze from her anxious face. His heart tripped and stumbled as the stunning eyes she had just spoken of met his. Pools of anguish, they misted over as she blinked away any evidence of tears while she continued, her voice thick with emotion.

  “He was going into the village at night. Sneaking in like a thief.” Her brows pulled low while a sick roll of horror churned his stomach at what Barbara had witnessed. No surprise she’d run.

  Every instinct he had urged him to reach out to give her comfort, but it was evident she hadn’t finished and he needed to allow her to continue with her story, so he kept his voice a cool professional and hoped she’d understand. “Carry on.”

  He hadn’t needed to encourage her; she was too far absorbed in her own thoughts and memories for her to even notice him sitting opposite her. It was her time to discharge the burden of guilt that had weighed her down for too long.

  “I should have known. We were well aware of the problem with drugs. How the villagers in different areas had been used to harvest them. But you don’t expect it. Not from one of your own.” She turned her head away. A hard swallow almost choked her voice, but she forced it through.

  Dominic’s chest constricted until he could barely breathe. All he wanted was to take her in his arms and rock her like he would with Marie, just to give her comfort, but he knew he couldn’t. He needed it all from her. He needed her to offload, not only to give him the information he required, but also to relieve her of the secret she’d carried alone.

  He gave a soft cough to attract her attention. “How many were there?”

  Confusion flitted over her face. “How many what?”

  “Soldiers. How many were involved?” His stomach churned as he waited for the answer. Christ if it was an entire unit, they had a far bigger problem than they could possibly imagine.

  She shook her head. Her utter stillness chilled his veins. Her husky whisper pushed past lips that barely moved. “At the time, in my panic I didn’t know, but once I had time to think about it, I believe it was only Strachan.”

  It still didn’t stop the thick slide of oil from coating his teeth and swelling his tongue as the implication of what she divulged hit harder than he’d been prepared for.

  It might be an agent they sent to collect her, but Dominic had no doubt from what Barbara said, Strachan would intercept her journey.

  He was in immediate and perilous danger. Not from the woman sitting in front of him but from Strachan.

  She wasn’t going to be incarcerated in federal prison until her trial. She was never going to see a trial. She probably wouldn’t see another
day.

  “What happened? When you found out. Tell me how you found out.”

  Her brow creased in a flash of pain.

  “We weren’t supposed to go out of the compound after dark unless we were on official patrol, but I needed to speak to the villagers. There was something wrong. We were on a peace keeping mission, and I’d made friends with one or two of the women. I wanted to help. I wanted to know what was going on. I was in the wrong, which I knew would get me into trouble.”

  Barbara raised her hands, placed the palms together as though she were about to pray, and touched her fingertips to her lips. “So I persuaded Private Austin to come with me.” Her eyes fluttered closed. “They were there, six of them, not military, but armed and in scruffy combats. Sloppy looking mercenaries with long hair and unshaven faces. I knew what they were doing the moment I walked into the dingy hut. There must have been ten, eleven villagers they were overseeing.” Her mouth tightened. “The rank smell of fear and sweat overpowered the delicate scent of flowers. Worse than that, I could smell him, his aftershave, his body odor. He was no longer there, but he had been. I recognized it immediately, knew he was involved.” She didn’t even speak his name as though the mere use of it would fill her mouth with filth.

  “The ones who were there, they weren’t soldiers. I only recognized them for what they were. Mercenaries, insurgents.” Her voice cracked as she barked out a cynical laugh. “One of them saw me, drew his gun. Austin took a bullet to the chest. In the panic and the confusion, they mowed down every one of the villagers. I shot three of the insurgents.” Her stark gaze met his. “Before you ask, they were kill shots.” Not a flicker of guilt crossed her face. Not innocents, then. She told the truth when she said she hadn’t killed innocents. But they’d been killed, and she blamed herself for their deaths.