Unbearable Failure

by ML Guida

  “You were there. He just said that your father––”

  She whipped her head up. “He’s not my father. Don’t ever ever ever confuse him as my father. He’s a monster.” Her voice shook with venom and hate flashed in her eyes.

  “Whoa.” He put his hands palms up as if to protect himself from her tone ripping him apart.

  She glared, but the tenseness in her face lessened. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired. You don’t understand.” She took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge between her eyes. “The worse day of my life was when my mother brought Oscar Rich into my life.”

  “Agent Malloy mentioned that he stole your formulas––”

  She laughed––a brittle laugh that could easily shatter. “Stealing formulas is the least of his crimes.”

  Her icy words sent a chill down the back of his neck. He didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to know, didn’t want to think it could be possible, but he had to know.

  “Sandra,” his voice was barely a whisper. “Did he hurt you?”

  She blinked, and a haunted look descended on to her face. Fear, dread, and sadness flickered through her eyes. She turned her head.

  He clutched the arms of his chair, holding his breath.

  “I don’t want to talk about him.”

  “Please, Sandra. You don’t have to do this alone. I won’t let him hurt you.”

  His voice had been so low he wasn’t sure she heard him, because she sat still as stone.

  She lifted her head. “You remind me of Grandpappy. He always said he’d protect me from the monster, but not even he could do it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because of my mother. She refuses to believe in anything negative about Oscar. She threatened Grandpappy that he’d never see me again if he tried to do anything.”

  Coward.

  “So, he didn’t do anything?”

  “No, he reported Oscar to social services, but I was the one who turned yellow. Mother told me she’d make sure that I’d never see Grandpappy again if I talked.” She shrugged. “So, I kept my mouth shut.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “I couldn’t lose Grandpappy. He loved me unconditionally and was the only one whoever made me feel safe.”

  Vaughn couldn’t believe Sandra’s mother. She was the total opposite of his. His mother would rip anyone apart––even now––who threatened her cubs.

  A tangled ball of anger and sorrow lodged in his throat. He met her eyes that were filled with a childhood memory that would be any cub’s worst nightmare.

  “I mean what I say, Sandra. He’ll never, ever hurt you again. Nor will your mother.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  He stiffened and leaned forward on his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. “I always keep my promises.”

  “Vaughn, I have to protect myself. I took up karate after…after I was kidnapped…” She bit her lip. Another den of horror this woman survived. “But whenever Oscar comes near me, I panic.”

  “Sandra, you don’t understand how brave you are.”

  She raised her head. “Excuse me? I practically jump at my own shadow.”

  “Not from what I’ve seen. You suffered years of abuse from a monster and a cold mother, and then on top of that, you endured a kidnapping from a psycho.”

  “And your point is?”

  “You survived. Not many women on Earth or Arians could come out as strong as you.”

  “I’m not strong, Vaughn.”

  Arguing with her wasn’t going to convince her. He studied her. “What would make you feel strong?”

  “If I could become more confident in my fighting skills and not cower whenever Oscar comes near me…” She frowned. “But I don’t see that ever happening.”

  “What if I could help you?”

  “I don’t understand.” Her voice was hesitant as if she were afraid this was some sort of trick.

  “I’m a scientist. And a warrior, Sandra. I could teach you how to fight.”

  She rolled her eyes as if he told her the dumbest thing on the ship. “I took karate.”

  Heat flamed over his face and his ears.

  “I believe our techniques are superior to humans.”

  She lifted her eyebrow.

  “I’ll prove it to you.”

  “Maybe.” She yawned. “Not tonight.”

  “You’re tired. Why don’t you get some sleep? Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

  She looked nervously at the bed. “What are our sleeping arrangements?”

  “You take the bed, and I’ll sleep on the floor.” He hoped he’d forced the disappointment out of his low voice.

  He wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and make her forget her past, but she wasn’t ready…Not yet. She needed to feel safe and it was his job to make sure that she did.

  “Vaughn, I can’t ask you to sleep on the floor. I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Maybe there’s some other quarters I could sleep in for the night.”

  “No.”

  She winced and put her hand on her chest. Her face paled, and three-stabs of guilt sliced and sliced and sliced into his heart.

  His tone was louder and angrier than he’d expected.

  “I didn’t mean to sound gruff. But you’re my mate. It’s my job to protect you any way I can.” He pointed. “And that includes sleeping on the floor.”

  She slid across the bed almost falling off. “Are…are you mad?”

  “Mad–no. Disappointed–yes. But your comfort comes first.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’m a bear. Bears sleep on the floor.”

  Wariness filled her wide eyes.

  He stood. “Now, don’t freak out. I’m going to shift into a bear. I promise I won’t hurt you.” He gestured at the stiff, straight chair. “Sleeping here will kill my back.”

  “Okay.”

  But her voice was shaking too much for his liking.

  He took a deep breath, never taking his gaze off hers, and shifted.

  She gasped and jumped off the bed. “Oh, my god. You’re bigger than a grizzly.” Her rapid voice was like a whizzing star.

  He turned around in several circles, then curled up on the floor. He held his breath. He might be big, but if she made a break for the door, he’d easily overtake her. Arian bears were a million times faster than grizzlies.

  She put her shaking head on her sleek forehead. “This is just so bizarre.” She dropped her hand and gave him a small smile. “But I bet if you were sleeping in my room as a kid, Oscar would never have dared entered.”

  Vaughn bared his teeth. Oscar would have been dead. If Vaughn ever met him, he might still suffer the same fate. He’d hurt Vaughn’s mate––a death sentence.

  “Easy big guy.” She glanced at the door then back at the bed. “I guess I’m not getting out of here.” She stretched her arms wide and yawned. “Keep your promise, Vaughn.”

  With that, she climbed into his bed fully clothed and pulled the fluffy blue quilt that his mother had made around her. His mother had made a red one for Tash and a green one for Rye.

  Her request made him pull-out all his sheer will and not move. Tension knotted every muscle, every nerve, every instinct. His bear wanted to mate–now.

  But that wasn’t happening.

  He forced himself to remain in a ball. Sandra exhaled and inhaled deeply. He smelled her breath that was warm and fragrant. The tension in his overstretched body unwound. He closed his eyes and his breathing matched hers. Like magic, she calmed his savage beast. He’d never let anything happen to her.

  Sleep overtook him, and he dreamed of a girl with lavender eyes.

  Vaughn woke to desperate cries.

  “No, no, no! Stay away from me.”

  His heart thundering, he was on all fours immediately and let out a warning growl. His eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness and his muscles were poised for an attack. The door to his quarters was shut and the bathroom was opened, but no one lingered inside. His chair was empty, and his desk was as he le
ft it.

  He sniffed the air and only detected Sandra’s sweetness.

  No one was in the room.

  “Please, please, please leave me alone.”

  His lungs nearly drowned with sadness.

  Sandra thrashed her head back and forth on the bed and kicked her feet. Her face glistened with sweat and her hair stuck to her cheeks.

  He immediately shifted back to humanoid form. He sat on the bed and gently gathered her in his arms. “Honey, honey wake up.”

  “What…what?” She fought like a wild woman, smashing her fists into his face. “Oscar, you bastard, let go of me.”

  He caught her wrists. “Sandra, stop. It’s me. It’s Vaughn. You’re safe.”

  She frowned and confusion settled in sleepy eyes. “Vaughn?”

  He released her. “Yes. You were dreaming.”

  She wiggled out of his arms and scooted up to the headboard. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “You mean having a nightmare.”

  “Do you often have nightmares?” He stroked her damp hair. Hope swished from his heart to his stomach that she wouldn’t pull away. For once, she didn’t flinch.

  “Ever since Hector kidnapped me, they’ve gotten worse. I used to have them all the time when I was a kid. Even when I spent the night at Grandpappy’s. I rarely get a good night sleep and usually wake up screaming.”

  “I’m so sorry, Sandra.”

  She flashed him a weak smile. “It’s not your fault.”

  “Would it help if I held you?”

  She stiffened beneath his touch. Damn it. Too soon.

  “I won’t try anything.” He crossed his heart. “I swear. I just want you to sleep without fear.”

  “Grandpappy would try the same thing, but the nightmares still came.” Her voice was so gloomy. He couldn’t imagine the life she must have had. His dad may be many things, but a pervert wasn’t one of them.

  “Maybe that’s because you knew you had to return to your parents’ home.” He rubbed her back and could feel the tremors running through her like a roaring river. “You don’t have to return there, Sandra. I would keep you safe. Always.”

  “I don’t know if I can stay here.”

  “Then, I would return with you. Oscar will never hurt you again.”

  Her eyes widened. “You would leave your ship? Your family?”

  He put his forehead against hers, hoping she didn’t pull away. “You’re my mate, Sandra. Wherever you go is where I belong.”

  Luckily, she didn’t.

  “No one has ever said that to me before.” Her voice faded away.

  He ran the back of his fingers down her wet cheek. “That’s because they’re not your mate. I am.”

  She yawned. “Just sleep.”

  “Just sleep. I promise.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Bears don’t break their vows.”

  He held his breath, desperate for her to trust him.

  She stared at him for several long minutes as if she were analyzing him like she did with the specimens back in the lab.

  She clasped his cheeks with her palms and kissed him tenderly on the lips. She tasted of honey, and the brief kiss sent off another wave of desire.

  “Why did you do that?” His heartbeat stopped in midair and everything froze inside him, except for his hungry bear–his bear wanted more, so much more.

  “Because I wanted to. Now sleep.”

  He exhaled, and her warm breath thawed his insides. “Lay your head on my chest and dream pleasant dreams for once.”

  “That would be a first.”

  But she did as he asked. Her delicate hand rested on his chest and her silky hair spread out around him like a stream of sunlight.

  He traced his fingers on her back, drawing circles and figure-eights. The stiffness in her body drained and her warm breath slowly exhaled. She’d fallen asleep in his arms.

  The mating urged pumped through him, his cock busting to take her, his bear growling in frustration, but he’d lose her forever if he broke his promise.

  No touching. No mating. No more kissing.

  Not tonight.

  Tonight, she would sleep, and he’d do everything he could to keep her demons at bay.

  Chapter 6

  Beep, beep, beep.

  Sandra jerked awake to a red light flashing. A shrill wail rang in her ears worse than any annoying alarm clock. Her groggy brain couldn’t figure out where she was, but her heart jumped to red alert and her tense muscles posed for flight or fight. Her lungs seized and she lay perfectly still, waiting for the slightest signal to flee or fling her fists.

  Listen, just listen. Don’t move.

  She sniffed, dreading to inhale Oscar’s suffocating citrus cologne that had always choked her.

  But a calming woody scent rolled over her.

  A blanket was bunched at the end of the bed.

  But instead of cold, she was cocooned in warmth.

  “Shit.” A strong masculine voice growled.

  She jolted up, her heart spinning out of control. She remembered last night she kissed Vaughn and how wonderful, masculine he’d tasted. He’d left her alone, even though she could feel his desire.

  It was only one small kiss, but it had sent off a desire in her too, a desire she was too afraid to act on…yet.

  Vaughn moved underneath her. “Sorry.” Sleep was in his eyes and he turned toward his nightstand and grappled for his telicator.

  “Vaughn, here,” he snarled. “What? When?”

  Sandra held her breath, waiting for him to shift into an angry bear.

  “No, we’re on our way.” He hung up then swung his long legs off the bed.

  “Who was that? What’s wrong?”

  He ran his hand through his messed up long hair. “It was Ivona. She said someone tore the lab apart.”

  She glanced over at the drawer. “Crap. That means…”

  He hurried over to his desk. “Someone on board this ship didn’t want us drawing samples of blood from the women. Drawer open.”

  Goosebumps exploded all over Sandra’s arms, and she clutched the quilt tight, sitting on pins and needles. The drawer crept open as if it didn’t have a care in the world.

  She released clogged up air. The specimens were where he’d left them in their undisturbed vials.

  “Good. They’re safe.”

  A flutter flapped in her belly and she smiled. Vaughn had kept his word. Her shirt and jeans were still on her––wrinkled––but on. Her bra was still clasped securely, and her panties clung to her buttocks. She’d never met a man like him, but then again, he wasn’t a man. He was a bear.

  The first brick in her don’t-trust-anyone wall crumbled. Warmth filled her and the uneasiness always lurching beneath the surface slipped away. Maybe she could trust him.

  Who wouldn’t want a bear that was better looking than any DC comic hero?

  He blinked. “What are you smiling about?”

  She stared into his curious gaze. “You.”

  He pointed his thumb at his chest. “Me?”

  “You kept your word,” she said shyly.

  The tension in his face lessened and he grinned. “You’re surprised?”

  She nodded. “Yes, I am. Not many people in my life have kept their promises.”

  He bowed slightly. “I told you I would.”

  Vaughn’s telicator beeped again. He grabbed it. “Vaughn, here.”

  His face turned three shades of purple. “Admiral, I said we were on our way.” He clicked the device shut.

  She straightened her shirt and quickly braided her hair. “Your dad’s not happy?”

  “To say the least. We better go before he sends security to fetch us.”

  She wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs. “We should go. Do I look okay?”

  He flashed his gaze over her. “You look beautiful.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m a mess.”

  “Not to me you’re not. You’re the sexiest scientist I know.” Hi
s husky voice and smoldering gaze sparked something inside her that she hadn’t thought about with a man for a very, very long time.

  Heat gushed over her cheeks, shot down her throat, and hit her gut, turning her insides into a messy mush.

  She lowered her gaze, not ready to face what was building between them.

  “I better get the specimens. I think we need to start testing immediately. I got a bad feeling about this.”

  She nodded, grateful he got back on the task at hand. “So do I.”

  Within minutes, they were back in the laboratory with the specimens. Sandra gasped and put her hand over her mouth. She gagged and coughed. The smell of alcohol and other alkaloid chemicals hit her smack in the face.

  She’d never seen anything like this in a laboratory. It looked like the Tasmanian Devil had broken into the lab, but he was just a cartoon. Whoever did this was very real and very dangerous.

  Drawers and cabinets were wide open. Some of them she didn’t even know existed, because they were hidden in the walls. Shattered glass beakers and test tubes were on the tables and floors. Notebooks were ripped apart, including the one that had Sandra’s annotations. Yellow, black, and red stains were everywhere.

  The Admiral’s snorting scowl was meaner looking than a pissed-off bull. She thought any minute he’d charge them.

  Ivona was behind them picking up broken glass off the floor.

  He whisked his arm around the room. “Vaughn, did you leave this place unsecured?”

  Vaughn stiffened. “The lab is never locked.”

  The Admiral turned to Ivona. “Is that true?”

  She nodded. “We’ve never had a reason to lock the lab.”

  The Admiral flashed a you’re-disgusting-scowl over to Tash. “Until now. Another one of your many failures as a commander.”

  Tash didn’t flinch except for a twinge in his cheek.

  Vaughn glared. “Tash is an excellent commander.”

  Sandra thought she saw gratitude in Tash’s eyes. Tash and Vaughn might have a wedge between them, but when the chips were down, they aligned with each other. Blood was thicker than water except when it came to her family.

  Jealousy squeezed her throat and guilt pressed against her heart. They had something she would never have. Not a drop of blood bonded Sandra and her mother. They might as well have been strangers––strangers that had the same blood type, the same genes, the same stiff neck, the same tight lips that refused to utter any words to heal the gulf of resentment between them.