Unbearable Failure

by ML Guida

  “Yes,” Vaughn said.

  Beasly cast his gaze over Sandra. “We’ll have the Earth woman go first.” His suspicious voice tweaked Vaughn’s protectiveness.

  “No, I will. I want her to see how this works, so she has nothing to fear.”

  Sandra frowned. “I’m not scared.”

  He clasped her shoulders. “Sandra, the Telsa Sifter can bring up memories, unpleasant memories, do you understand? It’s not just a truth finder.”

  Her eyes widened and her mouth turned into a big O. Comprehension, fear, and apprehension all flashed into her eyes all at once. “You mean?”

  “Yes.”

  “But that’s not necessary.” He could barely hear her, because her words were so strangled with emotion.

  Beasly studied her. “If you haven’t done anything wrong, you have nothing to fear from the Telsa Sifter.”

  Tears glistened in her eyes. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”

  “Then why the emotion?”

  Anger pumped through Vaughn’s veins, bulking up his skin. He took a step toward the programmer. “Beasly, stop.” His voice and presence made the man dry up his questions.

  Beasly bowed his head. “Sorry for so many questions. Occupational hazard.” He motioned with his arm. “This way, please.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Sandra nodded. The tears had vanished in her eyes, and she folded her arms across her chest. She shifted from foot to foot as she looked uneasily at the Telsa Sifter.

  “It’ll be fine. I promise.” He winked, trying to set her at ease.

  Vaughn opened the glass door into the soundproof room then sat in the metal chair. He put his palms on the arm rest.

  “Are you ready, Vaughn?” Beasly spoke into the microphone. His voice echoed off the glass.

  Vaughn nodded. “I’m ready.”

  “Good.”

  A cold blue ray flashed over him and he couldn’t move. A red laser zoomed, hitting the middle of his forehead, forcing his head back.

  Rrrrzzzzzttttt

  Humming buzzed in his ears and electrical sensations immediately rushed over him.

  “Remember, don’t fight the pulling. Otherwise, you’ll have a nasty headache. Take deep breaths.”

  Warmth spread over Vaughn’s body. Colors–red, purple, yellow–circled the glass like a prism, turning faster and faster. The sensation of something pulling entered his mind, peeling back barriers, and probing deeper and deeper and deeper. Every hair on his body stood up. His skin crawled, his hands shook, and his stiff fingers arched up.

  “Breathe, Vaughn. Breathe. Close your eyes. It makes the process easier.”

  Vaughn gasped for air, sucking in deep gulps.

  “Only a few more minutes.”

  Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm.

  The buzzing grew louder, the light brighter, the violation unlimited.

  The memories he tried to forget slammed into him.

  Sutois. He was back on Sutois. The jungle blocked out the blazing sun, but he was hot, too damn hot. The humidity drenched his clothes. He couldn’t breathe.

  Trees swayed. Dark shadows moved in and out of the thick vegetation. Heavy footsteps made the ground tremble. Adrenaline gripped him, and he clawed at the armrests.

  Tash yelled, “Back to the cave! The Gogs are coming! Run! Run!”

  Vaughn sped up the hill to the cave, his arms and legs pumping. The cave was too far away. He wasn’t going to make it. His lungs burned and terror gripped him.

  A loud pop made him jump.

  The colorful lights, the humming, and the tingling sensations all stopped.

  He collapsed in the cold chair. Sutois was gone, and he was back on the Intrepid. He inhaled and exhaled for several long minutes until his lungs filled up. Circulation returned to his numb fingers.

  He pasted a smile on his face. The glass door opened by itself.

  “Thank you, Vaughn.”

  Beasly’s impartial tone almost sounded bored.

  Vaughn had forgotten how the process made his insides feel like they were turned inside out. And brought back the worst memories. How could he protect Sandra? She was human, not an Arian.

  He got off the chair, his legs shaking.

  Sandra watched him warily as he shuffled out. “Are you okay? I couldn’t see you while you were in there.”

  “I’m fine,” he lied, but he couldn’t look her in the eyes.

  She clasped his arm. “You’re sweating and your face is flush. You’re lying.” She tilted her head. “It’s not as simple as you said, is it?”

  His shoulders slumped. “No. I’m sorry. We don’t take using this lightly, but…”

  She straightened her shoulders. “But you have no choice.”

  His hard gut knotted into a jumbled ball of yarn. He lifted her hair off her shoulder. “If there was any other way…”

  Her face paled. “But there isn’t.” Her soft voice made his knot tighter.

  He looked at the programmer. “Beasly, can you reprogram the Telsa Sifter for a human? I’m afraid it’s too powerful for my mate.”

  “Yes, of course.” Beasly punched in numbers on the screen. “But it will take a few minutes.”

  She rubbed her arms. “So where are your results?”

  He gestured toward the computer. “My results have already been recorded. If I had been lying, you would have known.”

  She frowned. “Really how?”

  “What colors did you see?”

  “All kinds of red, purple, yellow, blue? Why?”

  “If I were lying, the color would be black. In fact, smoke would fill up the chamber, cutting off the lies.”

  “Do…you die?” Fear trickled into her voice.

  “No, but you pass out. And you’re left with a migraine and a scratched up bloody tongue.”

  He picked up her hand and gently squeezed. “But you have nothing to fear.”

  “I know, but on Earth, you can be innocent, because our polygraphs aren’t exactly accurate. An innocent man could be judged guilty based on his nerves and sweating.”

  “The Tesla Sifter doesn’t work just on blood pressure and sweating. It reads your mind and your deepest feelings. There is no chance for error.”

  “Vaughn.” Beasly swirled around in his chair. “The Telsa is reprogrammed.”

  Sandra’s face paled. “I’m ready.”

  Sandra shivered. Maybe that was a lie. Vaughn looked like shit. His face was still white and a glisten of sweat shimmered off his forehead. His hands were shaking.

  She glanced at the door, wondering if she could make a break for it. But the burly guards eyed her with open suspicion. No hope there.

  Her tummy tumbled out of control. God, would she survive this torture? The Telsa Sifter peeled back memories and pulled out information. Things she wanted to stuff back into the recesses of her mind and forget.

  But she’d stood up to the Admiral and said she would be willing to go under the Telsa Sifter.

  That was before she knew what this I’m-getting-in-your-business machinery could do.

  Vaughn took her trembling hand and led her into the glass enclosure. He kissed her palm. “I’ll be right outside.” He pushed her hair behind her ear. “Just remember to breathe.”

  “I’ll be okay.” She looked into his concerned eyes. At every turn, he was her knight in shining armor.

  Something other girls always had, but she’d never had.

  She sat in the metal chair that nearly swallowed her up. Vaughn gave her a wink and then closed the door.

  Her heart beat against her ribs as if trying to escape and her lungs had forgotten how to work.

  Breathe, Vaughn had said to breathe.

  It was so simple, but she couldn’t remember. How stupid. She was a scientist.

  She shook her head. She could do this.

  “Sandra.” Beasly’s voice surprisingly echoed off the glass walls. He sounded so far away. “Remember to breathe. Otherwise, you’ll have a migraine. So
metimes it’s better to close your eyes for the first time.”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  She looked at Vaughn’s handsome face, then took a deep breath, calling in on her yoga strategies of blocking out everything around her but inhaling and exhaling.

  Shazzatz

  A blue ray flashed over her like a spotlight and she couldn’t move. A red laser hit her in the middle of her forehead.

  Sensations of angry biting ants ran all over her.

  Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out.

  Then the noise came.

  Rummmmmm

  First it was soft then it took another turn.

  SHRAKAKAKA KAKAKA

  The sound blocked out the beating of her heart. What felt like a jackhammer rammed her head. She winced and squeezed her eyes tight.

  Warmth than hotness ran over her as if the dials in a sauna were out of control. The air turned sweltering and thin. She gasped for breath, but only sucked down snippets.

  Something scratchy scraped against her mind like sandpaper. Pain seized her and her every muscle tensed, her fingers jetting straight out. Her body shook and shook and shook and her teeth chattered. Blood squirted into her mouth.

  Memories burst through her. Horrible ones of Oscar, pulling her into a dark closet…pushing his way into the bathroom when she was taking a bath…sneaking into her bedroom in the middle of the night.

  His face loomed in front of her, dwarfing her, his mouth opened, revealing those sharp teeth.

  She couldn’t get away. The same terror gripped her.

  Nononononono

  He was pulling on her hand and leading her to his shed.

  Not again.

  This time she wouldn’t be quiet.

  She screamed and screamed and screamed.

  Darkness flashed in her eyes. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

  I’m not lying. It happened. He hurt me.

  Something popped like a balloon.

  She tilted her head back and passed out.

  Chapter 10

  “Stay away from me! Stay away from me!”

  Sandra thrashed her head back and forth on something soft and flailed her arms and kicked her legs. She couldn’t breathe as if someone were smothering her with a pillow. Oscar. God, he was here. Her heart thundered, blood roared, and sweat rolled all over her. Her clothes stuck to her hot skin.

  She sucked in air as fast as she could, desperate to live.

  Someone damped her brow with something cool. “Sandra, wake up, honey. It’s me. It’s Vaughn.” His gentle voice pierced the panic threatening to tear her to pieces.

  Her eyes flew open. “Stay…” She frowned. “Oscar?”

  “Is not here.” He patted her forehead with a wet cloth. “I’m sorry. We didn’t know the Telsa Sifter would make those memories so vivid. It was just supposed to determine whether you had sabotaged the lab.”

  She put the back of her hand on her sweaty forehead. “Could have fooled me.”

  Vaughn hung his head and looked so miserable.

  She gripped his hand. “It’s not your fault. The Sifter didn’t make you remember anything?”

  His eyes darkened. “Actually, it did.”

  “What memory?”

  “Sutois.”

  She squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.”

  He nodded curtly, as if he were fighting not to relive those memories.

  She sighed. “How long have I been out? We should be getting back to the lab.” She struggled to sit up.

  “No.” He put his hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her back down.

  She frowned. “Vaughn, what are you doing? I have to get back to the lab.” She ignored the weariness taking over every inch of her.

  “Sandra.” Bleakness echoed in his dry voice. He held her hand, caressing the top of her hand with his thumb.

  Chills ran down the back of her neck and she shivered.

  “You’ve been asleep for the past five hours.”

  “What?!”

  He cringed. “When you passed out, Beasly was worried that you would wake with a splitting migraine, so he ordered that you be given a sleeping potion to ensure that you didn’t wake to agony. He let me make the decision.” His words tumbled out of his mouth as he held her hand, his eyes begging for forgiveness. “I couldn’t stand to think of you being in pain.” His voice actually cracked.

  Her hero. Again.

  “Vaughn, I’m not angry. I’m just shocked. That’s all.”

  He flashed her a smile that couldn’t be contained. “You’re not?”

  “No, I’m not.” Seriousness stole away the warmness inside her. “But what happened in the lab?”

  Anger flashed in his eyes and the muscles in his cheeks quivered. “My worst nightmare.”

  “I…don’t…understand.”

  He gritted his teeth, his eyes glowed dark. “The plant…I found the origin of the plant.”

  The hair on the back of her neck stood up. Sandra pushed herself up. “Where?”

  He clenched his fist. “Sutois.” Bitterness and hate dripped from that word.

  Coldness gripped her gut and a tightness spread across her chest. She put her shaking hand on his arm. “Oh, Vaughn. Someone’s working with the Gogs or the Kamtrinians?”

  “Yes.” He pressed his closed fist against his forehead. Tears glistened on his cheeks. “It’s happening again. One of us, an Arian, is betraying their people. Killing us.” His strained voice echoed of despair, disbelief, and utter discouragement.

  Her heart bled for him. Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Oh, Vaughn, I’m so sorry.”

  He held her, planting kisses on her throat. He stopped, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

  “Forgive me, Sandra. I shouldn’t have.”

  She held him tighter. “Don’t ask for forgiveness.”

  “What?”

  She clasped his cheeks. “We’ve both experienced horrors that no one should have had to experience. We need some happiness, Vaughn. Happiness to take us through dark times. Dark times that are upon us.”

  He sucked in his breath. “What are you saying?” His voice was barely a whisper.

  “You know what I’m saying.”

  He studied her as if in shock. “Are you sure?”

  “I’ve never been sure of anything until now.”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “Mating with me is different than what happens between a woman and a man on Earth.”

  She lifted his chin with her finger. “What do you mean?”

  “The Shades have chosen us to be mates. Once mated, the bond can’t be undone.”

  The scent rolling off his flesh was desire, spice, and bear.

  She thought about what he said about the bond, about what her mother had with a monster, and what Skye had with an Arian, an Arian who’s only desire was to protect and love her.

  Everything would change. Everything. Everything that was miserable. Everything that was lonely.

  She stared into green eyes. This man had kidnapped her. He could have raped her anytime, but he never had. He was a man of honor. Not many men possessed that on Earth.

  The depth of feeling in his eyes told her he’d make her happy. Could he really make her happy? There was only one way to find out.

  “If we do this,” she met his hot gaze. “And I want to return to Earth, will you let me go?”

  “I could never be parted from you, but if you want to return to Earth, I will follow. I will leave you alone.” He caressed her chin with his thumb. “But I will not let anyone harm you. I swear on my life.”

  Tears pushed on the back of her eyelids. “I want to do this. Give me a dream that will chase away my nightmares at night.”

  His answer was a kiss that claimed her, taking her breath and making her forget everything but him. His tongue filled her mouth with an intrusion that shocked her. His dominance reverberated all the way down to her toes. His lips were hungry and demanding.

&n
bsp; No man had ever kissed her like he’d been starving for the taste of her, leaving her weak and weaving with desire.

  She raked her fingers through his silky hair. Her hands ached to touch his skin. She edged her palms down his back and underneath his shirt, reveling at his muscles that rippled beneath her fingers.

  “I’ve dreamed of this,” he murmured. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this. You’re my life, Sandra.” His husky voice lured her into a dream that only he could satisfy.

  No words came to her. No one had ever told her anything like that with such of depth of feeling.

  He slipped his hands up her shirt and shoved her bra up over her breasts. His fingers pinched and massaged her nipples. “I knew you’d feel perfect in my hands.”

  He stared into her eyes and she panted not knowing what to say. His green eyes glowed with a passion that stole her breath away.

  His hot mouth was on one nipple, sucking and laving her, while his hand fluttered over her curves, making her tremble. Sensations of sizzling heat spread downward, sliding through her body, breaking down barriers, as if he knew just where to touch, how to kiss, to send the walls crashing down around her. Passion––she never knew existed––unleashed. Her heart beat wildly. Blood surged through her, busting down any barriers and pooling at the center of her core.

  He moved his mouth off her nipple and she groaned with disappointment.

  “What? What are you doing?”

  “I want to see all of you.” He climbed off the bed, then clasped her hand. “Please.”

  Her body tingled, but it was growing cold where warmth had opened her to desire. “I…don’t…understand.”

  “You’ll see.” He gently pulled her off the bed then lifted the end of her shirt, slowly dragging it over her sweltering body, the back of his finger brushing over her hot skin.

  Her shirt fell to the floor in a crumpled heap and her bra quickly followed.

  He cast his gaze over her. “I knew you would be beautiful. Everything I ever dreamed about.”

  Cold air blew over her, and she shivered, but then Vaughn was there. His lips on her nipple, suckling her hard. Shudders of pleasure gushed through her, her legs shook, and she tilted her head back, allowing him to take more of her flesh. She clung to his shoulders to keep from falling to the ground in a heap next to her clothes.