The raw honesty in my voice caught him off guard and he asked, “Why not?”
I squinted at him as I countered, “Really? You need to ask?”
He shifted uncomfortably before lifting his chin. “I thought you were just doing your job.” His smile was cutting. “All sanctioned by the government to get your man.”
“I wasn’t always….just doing my job,” I said carefully, not ready to put myself out there as he watched warily. “And I couldn’t go back to the DEA, not after everything,” I concluded awkwardly.
“So, you came to tell me Deacon is alive, but you can’t tell me where and you gave me Norah as a fucking I’m sorry gift? Have I summed it all up?”
I gritted my teeth because when he put it that way it didn’t really sound all that great. “I thought you deserved to know about Deacon,” I said tightly and he chuckled mirthlessly.
“You just told me that a man I thought I was dead, whose death I felt responsible for, isn’t dead, right after you brought home his widow. What exactly am I supposed to do with this information?”
He ran his hands through his hair again, ruffling it into waves and I had to wrap my arms around my waist so I wouldn’t reach up and touch the tousled locks.
I had to keep reminding myself I didn’t have the right.
“I don’t know,” I murmured, glancing at my feet. “But Monty is still out there and until he’s captured –”
“Dead,” Crew interjected harshly. “Dead. Until he’s dead,” he enunciated clearly. “I can say that now, right? Since you’re no longer DEA.”
My head bobbed and I cursed the stupid weakness that seemed to come over me anytime I was in his presence. I shouldn’t feel like a damsel in distress waiting for her prince to come save her, but something about Crew brought out the reaction in me. I took a deep breath and controlled myself. “We have enough evidence to lock him up for life,” I replied, resisting the urge to agree with him. If Monty was responsible for Nick and Donny’s deaths, then I would be first in line to pull the trigger.
“Sure, until you let him out,” Crew mocked, pacing the length of the grave, but careful to not step on top of the grave. “Who is this? If it’s not Deacon.” I heard the doubt in his voice and my lips compressed. He still didn’t completely believe me and I couldn’t blame him.
“I don’t know,” I admitted honestly. “A John Doe, probably.”
“You know how farfetched this sounds?”
“I do.”
“Yet, you expect me to believe you.”
“Yes,” I answered, my voice thick as I met his eyes. “I’m telling the truth. I’ve told you something that could cost the United States government the entire case around Domingo Martinez if it was discovered. Everything I’ve done would be moot if he walks because the testimony is thrown out.”
“Then why are you here? Why tell me?” He persisted, his gaze penetrating. “What do you get from this?”
“I don’t know,” I repeated again and then shook my head. “I do know,” I swallowed, my stomach churning as I told him the truth. “I want you to forgive me. I want absolution for the hurt I caused because of my actions. I want to try and make it right. I want you to give me a tomorrow.”
“I don’t know if I can do that,” he replied, shaking his head. “The thing is I don’t forgive easily and I definitely don’t forget.”
I nodded, dropping my eyes to hide my disappointment.
“I can’t….this is a lot to take in,” he muttered, moving away and I tried to hide the flash of pain caused by his action.
I nodded again, feeling like a bobble head, but unable to say anything for fear I’d start crying like a baby.
“You want to get Monty?” He asked abruptly
I lifted my head hopefully at his question, nodding slowly.
“So do I,” he stated and then added, “I guess that means we have one thing in common.”
“We could work together,” I offered hesitantly and he tilted his head.
“I’ll consider it.” I cocked my head, feeling there was more to it. “But you have to find Deacon.”
I sucked in a breath and held it as my fingernails bit into my palm. He had no idea what he was asking. I wasn’t sure I could give him what he wanted. The silence lingered and he shook his head, about to walk off, when I burst out, “Okay.” He hesitated, staring at me doubtfully. “I will do my best to find Deacon, alright? But I can’t promise you anything.”
“Seems like a regular thing with you.”
“That’s not fair,” I stated shakily. “I’m trying, but I won’t lie.”
“Turning over a new leaf?” He snapped back, then sighed, his expression regretful. “That was out of line.”
“No, you’re right. I’ve lied a lot over the past year to get what I thought was justice. I lied to you and I lied for you,” I stated and he glanced at me in surprise. “You’re the reason I’m not with the DEA anymore. You can’t lie to your team and still expect them to trust you.” He looked away, clearly uncomfortable.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he responded eventually.
“Yeah, I did,” I replied, taking a breath. “Otherwise, you would have spent the first twenty years of your kid’s life in prison.”
He stilled, his entire body resembling a statue as he processed my meaning. I forced my arms to unlock where I’d wrapped them around myself, and shoved my hands in my back pockets, trying to breathe as I waited for him to respond.
“You’re gonna have to make this one real clear for me,” he said slowly, his gaze cutting through me. “Are you saying you’re pregnant with my kid?”
Chapter Twenty-One
Crew
They stared at me warily as I circled the kitchen, each circuit taking less than fifteen seconds. “Why would she tell me that? Why didn’t she lead with that? I don’t even know if I can believe her.” My hands waved, almost knocking a magnet off the wall and Tori flinched in reaction.
“Sit down,” Cord barked and I sank into the nearest chair, looking up at him as I almost begged him to tell me what to do. “Take a breath and talk to us.”
Creed straddled a chair as Cord settled in the one next to me. Tori propped her hip against the counter next to Cord’s walking stick and Sloan stood up. “I’m going to go check on our guest,” she murmured, slipping from the room. I watched her leave, wanting to go with her but at the same time afraid of what would happen if I did.
Before I could say anything we heard the front door open. “It’s me,” Clutch shouted and Creed replied, “In the kitchen.”
Clutch lumbered in, his wide chest filling the door. “Why do we always have to discuss shit in the kitchen?” He asked rhetorically. “There’s a perfectly good couch in the living room.”
“Crew’s going to be a dad,” Cord announced and Clutch took a step back, glancing over his shoulder as if he expected a camera to be filming him.
“Also, Deacon’s not dead,” Creed added and Clutch grasped at the wall, swaying as he shook his head in warning.
“You better not be playing with me,” he growled, breathing hard.
“Both of these things are based on Drea,” I burst out. “We don’t know they’re true.”
Cord licked his lip, casting his eyes up to me. “You wouldn’t have told us if you didn’t believe her,” he said quietly and I turned my head to avoid his gaze, but I just met Clutch’s instead.
“You okay, kid?” I closed my eyes at his familiar question, shaking my head. I was so not okay, but there was no hiding from this shit. I had to deal with it. “Well, I think this calls for a drink,” he rumbled, headed to the cabinet where the whiskey was stored. “I can’t believe you laid this on me without even a sip first,” he grumbled under his breath and Cord dipped his head in agreement. Clutch reached for glasses then said, “Fuck it,” and took a swig from the bottle before passing it to Cord. He swallowed and handed it to Creed who took a sip before giving it to me. I lifted the bottle, gulping as the whisk
ey burned down the back of my throat, until Clutch wrenched it out of my hand. “That’s enough. Kid doesn’t need a damn alcoholic for a father.”
I choked, the whiskey threatening to make a return and Tori snapped, “Don’t even think about puking on this floor.”
I managed to keep it down as I reached for the pack of cigarettes I kept in my pocket. I tapped one out right as Creed grabbed the pack and crumpled it in his hand.
“I’m just gonna stop you right there,” he said, tossing the pack out as I nodded, not sure what to do with my hands anymore.
“So, where is this baby mama who seems to think Deacon is alive?” Clutch questioned, glancing around the tiny kitchen.
I nodded my head toward the hall. “Bedroom.”
“Sloan’s with her,” Creed added quietly and Clutch leaned against the side of the refrigerator.
“Well, this makes my news seem irrelevant,” Clutch sighed, ignoring the way the refrigerator groaned at his weight. The others glanced at him as I stared a hole in the wall. “Norah’s back.”
“What?” Tori shouted, taking a step forward and blocking my stare. “When? Where is she?”
“The clubhouse, a couple of hours ago. She’s talking to Johnny,” he answered as Tori thumped me on the head and I glanced up.
“You knew,” she accused, her eyes flashing dangerously and I nodded. “You didn’t think telling me was important?”
“It slipped my mind,” I said honestly and she stared at me in disbelief. “I know. I’ve spent months looking for her and now….” I sighed, unable to articulate what I was feeling.
“You talked to her?”
I nodded.
“And?” I opened my mouth, but nothing came out and Tori got in my face. “I will backhand you into next month, Crew Hayes, if you don’t start talking,” she threatened, scowling at me.
“She’s fine,” I burst out as Cord gently tugged on Tori’s arm.
“Hey, he’s been through a lot tonight,” he reminded her and she shook him off.
“Yeah, well he’s the one who ran off to look for Norah and got himself into all kinds of trouble in the meantime. Then she shows up and doesn’t even mention it?”
“It’s been a hellavu long night,” I yelled, standing up. “Yeah, I saw Norah. And you know what? She’s fine! Probably because she doesn’t know Deacon’s alive and well.” I stopped, my chest heaving as she stared at me in shock.
“Alright, let’s take a step back.” Creed steered me toward the door as Cord draped an arm around Tori. “I think you were right about the kitchen,” he told Clutch. “A little too confined.”
We met Sloan in the hall, her wide eyes meeting mine. “I heard shouting.”
Creed shook his head. “Just a misunderstanding,” he said easily. “Norah’s at the clubhouse,” he added and Sloan’s mouth dropped open. “It’s been a hellava night.”
“You could say that,” she agreed and then looked back at me. “Crew,” I took a breath, preparing myself for whatever she was about to say next. “I had her take a pregnancy test. She’s definitely pregnant,” she told me and I nodded, unsurprised by the knowledge. I hadn’t really doubted Drea, it was more that I hadn’t wanted it to be true.
“I’m gonna go,” I muttered, stepping around Sloan.
“Where?” Creed stopped me, his gaze cautious. “You can’t run away from this.”
I shrugged him off. “I’m not. I just need some space.” He looked like he wanted to say more but I shook my head. “I’m going to the clubhouse. Crash in your old room, a’ight?” He nodded, biting back whatever he wanted to say when Sloan wrapped her arm around him. “Just keep Drea here.” I spread my fingers, gesturing to the ground and Sloan gave me a tiny nod. “Thank you,” I muttered, as I headed for the front door.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Drea
My knee bobbed continuously as I stared at the four walls of Crew’s room. They’d stashed me in here right after Crew had dragged me back to his house. I cupped my head in my hands, wondering what I’d expected to happen. He was going to get on his knees and propose? Gush how happy he was?
I groaned, knowing part of me had wanted exactly that, wanted anything but the truth, which is this baby was a mistake, an accident, and the last thing he wanted.
I stared at the door, wondering who was going to come in next. The other tall woman? Or maybe one of his brothers? They looked similar except one of them had a bad leg, I thought.
My phone buzzed and I checked it, seeing a text from Dad, wanting to know how it went.
“I’m alive,” I texted back, not really knowing what else to tell him. Maybe the awkward bathroom exchange with Sloan while I peed on a stick for her? Or, perhaps, the nearly incoherent rage Crew had greeted the news he was going to be a father with?
None of that even touched on the fact that he still questioned whether I was telling the truth about Deacon’s death.
A knock on the door startled me and it took a second before I remembered to say, “Come in.”
A handsome guy with a neat beard stepped in the room and I tried to hide the pang of disappointment I felt. He smiled ruefully as he said, “Not Crew, I’m afraid,” telling me I hadn’t done that great of a job. “I’m Clutch.” He held out his hand and I took it in bemusement as he eased his bulk onto the only chair in the room.
“Another brother?” I questioned, only remembering Crew mentioning two, but his name gave me pause. White teeth flashed as he shook his head.
“No, just a friend,” he replied, something that sounded a lot like regret in his voice. “I wanted to meet the woman who managed to twist Crew up like a pretzel.”
I lifted my hands. “Here I am. In all my glory.”
He nodded, smiling faintly. “Not what I expected, I’ll admit.”
I snorted. “Someone younger? Or smarter? Maybe one who knows how to use birth control.”
Laughter rolled out of him and I stared in surprise. “You’ve got fire, that’s good,” he said with a nod. “I was going to come in here and warn you not to jerk him around or hurt him, but you’re not, are you?”
I shook my head slowly. “Hurting him was never my intention. Just a byproduct of a lot of dumb decisions.”
“You lost someone,” he declared, studying me.
“My fiancée,” I replied, biting my lip before I added, “And my brother.”
He shook his head. “I can understand your need for revenge. Crew can too. He’s just a little…hurt right now.”
I tried to smile, as I examined the floor instead of meeting his eyes. “I think you overestimate his emotions concerning me.”
“Oh, no,” he said instantly. “Boy’s in love with you.” My head shot up and he chuckled. “Didn’t you know that? It’s why you came back, isn’t it?”
“I...”
“Thing about the Hayes brothers is they fall in love fast and hard, and it’s a lifetime commitment. They just don’t always want to admit it.”
“He’s not in love with me,” I managed to stammer, fighting a sudden surge of hope. “I came to tell him about the baby and….and Deacon.”
“Uh huh, it has nothing to do with you being in love with him?”
I shook my head, unwilling to answer.
He pushed himself up with a groan. “It was nice to meet you, Drea.”
“You…you too,” I stuttered as I watched him walk out the room, not quite sure what had just happened.
After an hour or so, the house was silent and I’d decided Crew wasn’t going to come to his room. Exhaustion made my eyes gritty, but anxiety kept me from lying down. I went to the door, almost expecting it to be locked, but the knob turned easily under my palm.
The hallway was silent and dark except for one small nightlight glowing by the bathroom. I crept down the hall, not sure where I was going, but too restless to stay cooped up in that room any longer.
I came to the kitchen and padded toward the refrigerator. A shadow moved and I instinctively reacted,
a fist forming as I swung, and they swatted my punch away.
“I’m impressed,” a rough voice said, a hint of admiration in it. “I thought you were the type to fold when threatened.”
A light flickered on and I blinked, seeing who the shadow was finally. The tall dark haired woman would have been distinctive even without the crowbar resting against her thigh.
“I guess I should be grateful you didn’t take a swing at me,” I murmured faintly and she grinned.
“Nah, I knew it was you.”
“Is that why you’re in here?” I questioned, eyeing her. She shook her head.
“No,” she replied, setting the crowbar down and pulling up a chair. “Cookies,” she stated and I stared at her in puzzlement. She gestured to the table and I saw the plate filled with cookies. “You have to eat them when the guys are sleeping,” she said slowly, like she was speaking to someone of low intelligence. “Otherwise you get like one.”
“I thought I heard you creeping in here,” another voice said and I spun around, seeing Sloan’s eyes round. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you.”
“She tried to take a swing at me,” Tori said proudly, gesturing to me and Sloan nodded, looking at me respectfully.
“It was instinct,” I replied, waving off the apparently admirable need to defend myself.
“Grab the milk,” Tori commanded and I reached for the refrigerator door as Sloan went to the cabinet and grabbed three glasses.
“If you’re not some helpless club whore,” Sloan made a chiding noise and Tori rolled her eyes. “She doesn’t like when I refer to the girls who hang around the clubhouse as whores.”
“Why not?” I asked, pouring milk into glasses. “That what they are, isn’t it?”
“They’re women,” Sloan argued. “Not just whores. They have feelings and things they want to accomplish.”
“Candy did,” Tori replied. “Candy moved on to her dream job when you hooked Creed.”
“I didn’t hook him,” Sloan said exasperatedly. “We fell in love.”
“Well, whatever. I’m just saying most of the women there don’t have any intentions other than finding some guy willing to make them an old lady.” Tori glanced at me. “Gonna be some pissed whores when you show up.”
Traitor (Southern Rebels MC Book 3) Page 10
