Virgin For The Fourth Time: Barrington Billionaire's Series: Book Four

by Jeannette Winters

  Chapter Six

  Zoey didn’t sleep a wink. As soon as the door closed behind Bennett, she regretted sending him away. He would’ve stayed with her, been there for her, yet she pushed him away. Why did I do that? I wanted him here. I needed him here.

  She made her way downstairs to make coffee. As she passed the living room, she stopped long enough to peek inside. The decorations from the night before tormented her even more. The room still looked like a romantic fairy tale. Bennett had kissed her twice last night. Each time she yearned for more. Still, when the guests were gone, and Bennett had been sitting with her on the couch holding her hand, she couldn’t let go of the past long enough to enjoy the moment. He wasn’t judging her. All she felt from him was kindness. Understanding. Support. Things she’d dreamed of, yet had long given up finding. It had been within her reach, and she’d brushed it away. I don’t get many chances, and the one I do get I screw up. I’m no longer alone because of you, Dad. I do it to myself now.

  How she wanted to enter the room, sit at her piano, and let out everything that had been building inside her all night. Sadly, it was still covered with décor from last night. She couldn’t tolerate looking at it any longer.

  Coffee wasn’t going to help how she felt, but it might rejuvenate her. Dr. Gupta had warned her not to stress herself too much until they found the cause of her medical issues. They considered stress the primary block since nothing turned up in her blood work to state otherwise. My life is a ball of stress. Without it I have nothing. I am nothing.

  As she sat at the kitchen table, she felt her insignificance. Although her brothers loved her, they’d never seemed to notice the pain in her eyes. Was it because they didn’t want to see it or because they didn’t want to talk about it? Either way, it left her to face everything by herself.

  She didn’t want to be angry at them. Their growing years weren’t any happier than hers. Only difference was they were males. It was acceptable to be cold and angry and mean. No one thought any different of them. If she wore cold and calculating feelings on her sleeve as they did, she’d be called a bitch. Better than being called a whore.

  Her laughter echoed in the empty kitchen. It was ironic that she still couldn’t run from that lie. Instead of the long list of lovers her father said she’d had, there’d only been one. It was a very brief relationship with someone who’d never heard of her family. She felt no love for him, but it’d been nice just to be Zoey and not a Henderson. He thought she was pretty, and she needed to feel something. Sleeping with him had been a mistake. It wasn’t even good sex, not that she knew what that was. But it was nice just to be held. To be touched. Even if it wasn’t anything real, and it was only physical for him, it was nice. At least, he didn’t treat her like a slut.

  Unfortunately, a girl he had a love interest in entered his life and their connection ended. How she wished she could find someone again who didn’t know who she was. But her face had made it on the front page of the tabloids too frequently over the years. Each time they dug up the past. A past that didn’t even exist. Every time it grew bigger and worse than before. Eventually, she just stopped going to public events. This home that she loved so much became her self-imposed prison.

  Zoey was used to the quiet. But after last night’s houseful of laughter, the silence was deafening. She grabbed the remote control and turned on some music. She didn’t care what was playing as long as there was some sound other than her own heartbeat.

  But the music didn’t help. Her mind continued to float back to Bennett. She’d shared more with him than she had with her own family. Although that wasn’t much, it was huge for her. Bennett had no clue of the magnitude of verbal abuse she’d experienced. If there was any horrible thing you should never say to your daughter, her father had said it to her. Any self-esteem she had was accidental.

  Zoey heard the doorbell. Damn. I forgot Renita said they’d send someone today to clean. I didn’t think it’d be this early. She headed for the door still wearing her pajamas and robe. She couldn’t even remember if she’d brushed her hair before coming downstairs. There was so much on her mind right now and impressing some cleaning crew was not on the list. Maybe if I look bad enough, they’ll work faster.

  When she opened the door, she wished she’d asked who was there first.

  “Good morning. Did I wake you?” Bennett asked in a cheery voice that she wasn’t ready to hear.

  Look that bad, do I? “Yes. What are you doing here so early?” she asked without inviting him in.

  Bennett somehow didn’t take the hint that his company wasn’t wanted or appreciated at the moment. He stepped past her, letting himself inside.

  “Do I smell coffee?” Bennett headed toward the kitchen, leaving her standing alone at the door.

  Really? Can my morning get any worse? Zoey closed the door and went to join him. When she got there, he’d already taken a mug out of the cupboard and was pouring himself a cup of coffee. Make yourself at home, why don’t you?

  “I’m sure you’re here for more than coffee. I know you can’t have the results from the DNA that fast.”

  “No, but I’ll have them sometime today. I figured since all either of us has to do today is wait, we could do it together.”

  There was no way she was having him in her home all day. He unnerved her. Zoey was already fighting so many different emotions that she didn’t need Bennett giving her any new ones. And the emotions he’s already stirred up, remind me how alone I am. And how much I want to be with him but can’t.

  “You have my number. Calling me with the findings would’ve been acceptable.”

  Bennett smiled at her. “But not as much fun. Come on, Zoey. When was the last time you went out for fun?”

  Like never. “It’s been a while.”

  “Then it’s time.”

  She wasn’t even sure what fun was. “I’m not in the mood for a museum or the theater. So let’s go back to my plan, and you call me when you know something.”

  Bennett laughed. “Do I look like the museum type?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t judge a book by its cover.”

  “Well, I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt. I suggest you dress the same.”

  “Bennett, I haven’t agreed to go with you.”

  He came around the table and looked her in the eye. She knew he was trying to read her, but she didn’t care.

  “Sitting alone in this house isn’t what you need today. So either you go upstairs, shower, get dressed, and we go out, or I’m spending the entire day here with you, and we can talk.”

  That wasn’t appealing to her in the least. She’d done more talking last night than she’d wanted to. All she really wanted was to get some sleep. The past few days had been very stressful. With the party over, she could relax a bit. But with Bennett around, relaxation was never going to happen.

  “I’m not going anywhere with you unless you tell me what the plan is first.”

  “How do you feel about bowling?”

  “Bowling? Really?”

  “Yup.”

  “I’ve never done it.”

  He arched a brow. “Never?”

  This was going right back to where they left off last night. Her childhood was not like others. “No, never. No roller-skating, no bowling, or anything like that. I was always home.”

  “Then I guess beating you won’t be a problem.” He laughed and continued, “Go get dressed. And make it causal because you’re about to experience my idea of fun.”

  She knew he wasn’t going to back down, but that wasn’t the reason she turned and headed for her room. Zoey wanted to learn more about Bennett. What better way than to spend time with him? Not at one of the pretentious events taking place in the city, but to see fun through his eyes.

  As she stripped off her pajamas and showered, she realized something. For the first time in her life, she was looking forward to going out. It wasn’t so much where they were going, but who her companion was that excited her. She li
ked him, and that thrilled and scared her. Bennett was only going to be around temporarily; once he finished the job, she wouldn’t see him until her brothers hired him again. That seems to be frequent, but not often enough.

  She found herself laughing. It’s probably wrong that I wish more people would get angry at my brothers so I can see more of Bennett. I’m sure there’re easier ways than pissing people off, I just don’t know any of them.

  It was ironic that she had a reputation as a whore, but had no experience when it came to dealing with the opposite sex. I’m not even sure I’d be able to please him sexually. The only thing I’ve mastered is how to please myself. She could do what she did for everything else in her life, Google it. But the Internet didn’t understand who she was. There was no way it was going to be able to guide her on how to flirt and attract his interest. No time for books, so maybe I might need to reach out to Lena. She seems to stay attuned to life’s little challenges. Maybe she could help with mine.

  She heard the doorbell ring and had been daydreaming, so she wasn’t even dressed. Zoey opened her bedroom door and called down to Bennett.

  “That must be the cleaners. Can you please let them in? They’ll know what needs to be done.”

  “You got it, sweetheart,” Bennett’s deep voice shouted back up the stairs to her.

  Sweetheart. If only he meant that. But even knowing he doesn’t, my heart still melts when he says it.

  Zoey went to her closet and searched for just the right outfit. Causal wasn’t something she often did. She didn’t think she owned a T-shirt. It was a good thing that it was still cold. She could get away with wearing a long-sleeved sweater with her jeans.

  She didn’t take time to dry her hair. Instead, she pulled it into a ponytail. He wants causal. Then I’m not putting on any makeup. She grabbed her purse from the top of her bureau and went downstairs to check on the cleanup progress.

  Zoey fully expected to hear people packing things in boxes and carrying them out. Instead, she could hear Bennett speaking to someone in the living room. Standing around the corner to eavesdrop wasn’t her style. Besides, it was her home. She didn’t need to lurk anywhere.

  When she came around the corner, she was shocked to find Logan standing there. He’d never just stopped in. Heck, it’s hard enough to get him to come by when invited. “Good morning. What are you doing here?”

  Logan looked at her and said, “I didn’t know I needed a reason to stop by and see my kid sister.”

  Okay. What’s going on here? Maybe I should’ve eavesdropped just a little. “The door is always open.”

  “I’m more surprised who opened it. Bennett, do you think you can give Zoey and me a few minutes alone?”

  Bennett nodded, turned to Zoey, and said, “I’ll be in the kitchen, sweetheart.”

  Oh, he’s going to play this to the end, isn’t he? But I’m the one who’s stuck facing Logan by myself, thank you. And will be stuck facing my brothers when Bennett’s finished.

  Once alone Zoey said, “Logan, what’s going on?”

  “That’s what I am here to find out.”

  “I don’t understand. Is there something about Bennett you think I should know?” she asked, knowing Logan expected her to. But the odd thing was she actually wanted to hear the answer. Zoey shouldn’t care, but somehow she did.

  “I’m not concerned with Bennett. It’s you I’m worried about.”

  His voice confirmed what he was saying. Yet, she didn’t understand why he felt that way. She was a grown woman doing what normal people do.

  “There’s no need to worry, Logan. Everything is okay.”

  He was watching her closely in a way he’d never done before. It was making her nervous. Is he upset that I’m dating?

  “Where were you a few days ago?”

  She wasn’t prepared for that question. As far as she knew no one knew she’d left town. It was possible they still didn’t, and he was only digging for information.

  “Nowhere special. Why?”

  “You left the state. For what reason, Zoey?”

  What the hell? Think fast. He knows something, but what? She smiled. “Logan, I’m a grown woman who has the right to get away with my boyfriend for a couple days if I want to. I didn’t realize I needed to check in with you first.” Bennett would be so proud of me. I’m getting darn good at this. Not sure being a good liar is a good thing, but it’s getting much easier.

  “Is that why you were in New York?”

  Shit! Shit! Shit! He knows. Everything I’ve done is for nothing. Before she could answer Bennett came back into the room.

  “Sorry. Forgot my coffee. I couldn’t help but hear you ask about New York. Zoey and I are planning a little international getaway, and we were there to get our shots.”

  “You expect me to believe you went to New York for that when I could’ve given them to you both?” Logan raised a brow, his face filled with doubt.

  Bennett never acknowledged it. “There are some things between Zoey and me that aren’t anyone’s business. It comes down to one thing, do you trust and respect her or not?”

  Zoey almost felt bad for Logan as Bennett had his back up against a wall. No matter what Logan said, Bennett appeared to come out on top. It was a turn-on watching Bennett in action fighting for her. But she had to remember why he was doing it. She was paying him a hefty amount of money, after all. This was just fulfilling his end of the bargain. Hired the best and expect nothing less.

  “You’re really pushing your luck, Bennett. If my sister weren’t here, this conversation would be ending much differently.” Logan wasn’t a fighter, but she noticed his hands clenched into fists as he spoke. Any of the other siblings never would’ve been able to control themselves, and it would’ve gotten ugly quick.

  “And if I didn’t care so much about her, I’d be happy to oblige you.”

  Both men were staring at each other with warning glares. She needed to cool things down between them. “In case either of you has forgotten, I’m a grown-ass woman who is capable of speaking for herself. Logan, I really appreciate your concern, but there’s no reason to worry. Bennett, it’s very sweet of you to try to defend me, but there is no need. Once everyone realizes that this is my life, the better and easier it will be for all of us.”

  Her words were only meant to deter the men, but she found they rang true to what was in her heart. Although she loved them for caring so much, she had enough of anyone controlling her. Never again.

  They both looked at her as though stunned, but then Bennett gave her a wink.

  “Sorry, Zoey. Guess I’m not used to you being so . . .”

  “Happy?”

  Logan nodded. “You of all of us deserve to be happy. And I was only trying to let you know that I’m here if you ever need me.”

  Zoey walked up to her brother and gave him a hug. “I know, Logan. I love you.” Hugging wasn’t something they ever did, and she had no idea what had possessed her to hug him then. But she was happy she did.

  Logan squeezed her so tight it almost hurt. When he said, “I love you too, Zoey,” she didn’t care if he’d broken her ribs. It was the first time she and Logan ever said those words to each other.

  The doorbell rang again. This better be the cleaners, because I really can’t take any more unexpected guests today. She let her brother go and was about to answer the door when Bennett walked out of the room to answer it. He’s the best make-believe boyfriend a girl could want.

  When he returned, she was thankful it was with people she didn’t know, dressed in uniforms from Vincent’s restaurant. Finally!

  “Let me show you everything that needs to go.” She made her way quickly from one room to the next. Although it all looked amazing, she didn’t need reminders of Valentine’s Day. It was a day she’d avoided in the past, and this was just another one she wanted to forget. Bennett might’ve appeared to be her valentine, but they both knew it wasn’t true. If only my feelings can be packed away and dismissed as easily as the
decorations.

  When they’d gone, she returned to the living room and found Bennett sitting alone. “Where’s Logan?”

  “I explained we had a date, so he left.”

  “Date?”

  “We’re pretending to be lovers. Or have you forgotten?”

  How could I? I remind myself every time even the slightest hope tries to slip in. “Just making sure you didn’t say anything to upset him.”

  Bennett laughed. “I do have a knack of pushing your brothers’ buttons.”

  “You think? And I think you enjoy it too.”

  He laughed. “It’s one of the perks of the job.”

  She hated hearing the word job. “So is bowling today part of the job?”

  “No. This is precisely what I said it was before.”

  “What is that?”

  “A date.”

  Her heart skipped not just one beat, but she thought for sure it’d stopped altogether. Had he just said what she thought, what she’d hoped for? “Date?”

  “Yes. That’s what you call it when a man picks up a woman and takes her out.”

  For some unexplainable reason, she found herself blushing. Bennett hadn’t said anything that should’ve caused such a reaction, yet she turned pink-cheeked and shy all of a sudden. It was easier when I was only pretending. I have no idea how to act on a real date.

  “Relax, Zoey. Stop thinking and just enjoy.”

  Zoey nodded. “I’ll enjoy it more when I beat you at bowling.”

  Bennett laughed. “Don’t expect me to throw a game just to see you smile again.”

  “You seem very confident. How about a small wager?”

  “What do you have in mind?” Bennett asked, suggestively.

  Zoey laughed. “Don’t get your hopes up. I was actually thinking ice cream.”

  Bennett shrugged. “Not as interesting as I hoped, but make it a sundae and you’re on.”

  She was still smiling as they left the house. Is this what normal feels like? I hope so, and I hope I can have more of it.

  Zoey turned to look at Bennett. He was so damn handsome, funny, and strong-minded. There was no doubt she was attracted to him. The only issue was how much. Although she was looking forward to their date, she had to remind herself to hold back. This was like being in a snow globe. Once the snow settled, everything was back to normal. And her normal wasn’t anything anyone wanted to live.