He huffed and lifted his fork toward his mouth. “Fine.” He stopped midway and put the fork back down.
“Jake, seriously, eat.”
He shook his head. “What if …” He stared at her lips before turning back to attacking his meal with his spoon. His neck darkened in the firelight. “Never mind."
Her toes tingled as heat that wasn’t from the fire spread up her neck and across her cheeks. The realization hit that he must’ve heard her conversation with Piper. She narrowed her eyes as she racked her brain for what exactly they had said.
“You know it’s rude to listen to other people’s conversations.”
“I was trained in reconnaissance, Chloe. One of the best there is.” He set the cup down.
“What did you hear?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on, Jake.” She nudged him with her elbow as she turned to face him fully.
“I hadn’t meant to. Just, you know, paused outside the door after you called me a beast.” He shrugged. “I didn’t want to embarrass you.”
“Oh, you heard that?” Chloe covered her cheek that had turned from warm to burning hot with the memory of her rant. “I’m sorry. I was just throwing a fit.”
“It’s okay.” His gaze bore into her. “I’ve been called worse."
He motioned with his finger for her to come closer. Her body responded like he pulled a string wrapped around her. She wasn’t sure if she could stop from leaning toward him if she wanted to. Not that she did.
He angled like he would tell her a secret, his lips brushing her ear. “Does my voice still make your toes curl?”
She swallowed, nodding as he kissed along her neck. He straightened with a huff, staring into the fire, and she almost toppled over sideways. She placed her hand on her head and tried to remember what they were discussing.
“I can acquire important intel when I listen in.” Jake’s sober tone made her breath thick in her chest. “Truthfully, though, I hadn’t meant to, but I wouldn’t have realized the extent of your celiac if I hadn’t. That just touching someone after they’ve handled gluten could make you sick.”
Chloe picked at her shirt hem. “I’m not quite that bad. I’d have to lick my hands or whatever touched them to have a reaction. I’m not about to hide away from the world, though. I just prepare the best I can.”
“I’m sorry you have to go through all that.” He ran his hand over her cheek.
“I’m not.” Her words raised his eyebrows. “I want to use my celiac to help others, Jake, not dwell on it. Eat.”
“If we’re stuck here, I’m not giving up one of the best parts of being stranded, which is kissing you.”
She set her energy bar down, wondering if she could give him a taste of his own medicine. His eyes widened as she turned and moved to her knees. She placed her hands on his cheeks and closed the distance until breath could barely flow between their lips. His hands ran up her back, but he didn’t pull her near. She relished that he let her lead without muscling her closer.
“So, you don’t want to give up kissing?” Her lips brushed his as she spoke.
The tiny shake of his head made her smile. Now to go in for the kill.
“It’s a good thing your packs had toothpaste.” She released him and sat back in her spot, though everything in her wanted to follow through with her tease.
He slammed his hand on the floor to keep from falling over. His eyes narrowed and his breath came out choppy.
He scrutinized her. “So, I brush my teeth after eating gluten, and I can still kiss you? You’re not just saying this to get me to eat?”
“Brush your teeth, wash your face, and you can kiss me all you want.”
Jake’s grin looked wolfish as he snatched up his dinner and ate half of it in one bite. Her toes curled in anticipation, but she kept that to herself. No use stroking his ego more than she already had. She giggled and popped the rest of her measly meal into her mouth.
Jake stood, grabbing their trash and putting it in the plastic bag they’d designated as the garbage. He then began searching through the gear.
“Where did you put that toothpaste again?”
Chloe crossed to the corner pack and pulled out the toothbrushes and toothpaste. His face lit up as he grabbed one and went to brushing his teeth. He scrubbed and scrubbed until Chloe worried he wouldn’t have any enamel left. After spitting into the fire, he opened the door, scooped a mug of snow from the already accumulating pile, and rubbed the snow vigorously across his lips, then over his entire face. He then strode to his backpack, pulled out hand sanitizer, and smeared it across his lips.
She tipped her head back and laughed. “That’s more than sufficient.”
How could her heart feel so light when their situation remained dire? He took two gigantic steps and swooped her up in his arms. His deep kiss tasted of toothpaste and sanitizer and made her heart beat like a track full of racing horses. He pulled her closer, lifting her off the floor so her feet dangled. She shrieked and smiled big against his lips. This man was amazing.
He set her down and leaned back, rubbing one hand across his lips. “They’re stinging.”
Chloe snorted and stepped away. “Hand sanitizer on the face might not be the best thing.”
“I’m not sure if it’s that or your kisses, but it was worth it,” Jake whispered before heading to the woodpile to add more wood to the fire.
She moved back to their nest of sleeping bags and sat down. After throwing one more log onto the fire, Jake limped back to her. He still hadn’t taken off his prosthetic, and she worried about his reason. She bit the inside of her mouth, warring with herself. Should she ask him or leave it be?
He sat close to her and lifted her hand into his, closing his fingers around hers. He leaned against the packs they used as backrests, lazily drawing swirls on the back of her hand with his free hand. They’d kept themselves busy with reorganizing the packs and playing cards with a deck he had in his backpack, but just sitting here, staring into the fire might be her favorite part of the day yet. Aside from kissing and waking up in his strong arms.
She peeked at his profile and forced her anxiety down. “Jake?”
“Huh?”
“Why don’t you take off your prosthetic and get comfortable?” She tried to keep her tone light when his fingers flinched in hers. “It’s not like we’re going anywhere, anytime soon.”
“We might need to leave quickly.” He cleared his throat and shifted. “It’s better if I keep it on.”
Was he going to trust her enough to let her in? What did it mean if he didn’t? He’d shown throughout this entire ordeal that he cared for her on some level. She wanted to show him she cared for him too, not despite his injury, but because of it. He’d overcome so much that it gave her hope she could become just as strong. She wanted more than false bravado.
She had to start somewhere. She mentally pulled on her big girl panties and sat on his lap so she could look straight into his face. He crossed his arms, his mouth drawn into a straight line.
“You are the most amazing man I’ve ever known, Jake Silva. When I’m with you, I want to be brave and strong, to not just bury my fears but kick them into the stratosphere.”
His arms loosened a little, and the harsh line of his lips relaxed.
“If you don’t think there’s something more for us beyond this time we’re stuck here, then I guess you can hide from me.”
At that, he dropped his hands to her waist and shook his head. “Chloe—”
She pressed her hands to his chest. “But I don’t want to hide anything from you, Jake. I’m not afraid you’ll see my ugly parts of life and turn away, because you’ve been there.”
That last bit wasn’t completely truthful, but she wouldn’t take it back. She doubted she’d ever truly have the confidence to let that fear go completely. The inevitable moment when her health would wedge between her relationships. She shook off the heaviness and plunged forward.
“Please, trust
me like I trust you. Let me see you, Jake. The real you.”
His brows lowered as he stared at her. He was quiet for so long she thought she’d made him mad. When he nodded, one curt nod, her mouth went dry, and she blinked the moisture from behind her eyelids.
He moved his legs, and she hurried off to kneel beside his left side, though she wanted to show her relief and gratitude with a kiss. He winced as he pulled up his pants and bent his leg. She hadn’t expected the intricate design of the limb.
“Wow, that’s fancy.” She darted a look his way to make sure she hadn’t offended him.
He swallowed and cleared his throat. “Yeah. My friend’s wife, June, has spent a lot of time improving prosthetic limbs to make them better.”
He unbuckled the strap around his thigh and pulled off the leg with a sigh. He gazed at it a moment before handing it to her. She turned it this way and that, trying not to stare as he slipped the protective sock from his skin. The prosthetic really was incredible, and she could see how the design could help in his range of movement.
She lowered the leg to ask him a question, but it stalled in her brain at the sight of his angry, red skin. “Oh, Jake.”
She set the foot aside and reached for his leg. He flinched and jerked it away.
“How bad does it hurt?” she whispered.
“It’s just the muscle, like when you work out too much at the gym.”
She doubted that but wasn’t about to push him. An idea popped into her head. She rushed over to her purse and started digging around in it.
“I have something I think will help.” She pulled out the tube of ointment and hurried back over. Kneeling at his feet so he couldn’t snatch it from her, she held the tube up. “I can’t take conventional pain killers, which is a bummer for someone as clumsy as I am. But this arnica ointment seems to help.”
She squeezed some in her hand and reached for his leg.
“Chloe—”
She glared at him to get him to relax, then trailed her fingers along the smooth skin. She wasn’t sure what she had expected, but there wasn’t a lot of scarring that she could see in the firelight, just a rounded end where the calf should be. Why was he so hesitant to show her this?
She rubbed her hands together to warm up the ointment and smiled at him. “Don’t want to hear you yelp from the freezing stuff.”
He didn’t smile, just bore a hole through her with his intense stare. He’d pressed his knuckles to the floor like he would bolt in a split second. His entire upper body radiated tension.
“Tell me if I hurt you.” She put her hands on his knee and worked her way down his leg.
When the ointment ran out, she squeezed some more into her hand, warmed it up, and continued to massage it in. Little by little, his arms relaxed.
“How were you injured?” She slowed her motions, rubbing languid, circular motions and peering into his face.
He swallowed and cleared his throat. “We were in South America rescuing a family that had been kidnapped. We found them being held hostage in an old hay storage off the side of a barn. When we engaged, the entire area erupted into chaos.”
Jake stared into the fire, his tone even as he retold the story. Chloe focused on keeping her motions smooth and slow, afraid any sudden movement would zip his lips back up tight.
“We were too late to save the husband and wife. We snatched up their little girl and hightailed it back to the chopper.” Jake rubbed his hands through his hair. “We were about a half a klick out when I saw movement in the trees. It was like the dude just materialized out of nowhere. I hate the jungle.”
“So, no tropical vacations for us, huh?” She smiled what she hoped was encouraging. “Maybe we could just stay on the beach, lounge around in our swimsuits, and swim in the ocean then?”
“I think I could do that.”
“Good. I could go for a nice, warm vacation when this is all over with.” She sobered. “What happened next?”
“My friend Sosimo didn’t see the combatant, so I jumped between him and the enemy and tackled Sosimo to the ground. Went to get up and couldn’t. I’d been shot twice. Once in the calf, shattering the bone. Another in the thigh. It hit the artery there. I almost bled out before we got halfway to base. Of course, I don’t remember anything past bouncing against Sosimo’s back, fending off attackers as they popped out of the forest like ants out of an anthill.”
Sharp pain speared through Chloe’s chest as the images raced through her head. The pain he must’ve been in and how he had still protected his friend.
“They were using armor-piercing rounds. Killed Ethan Stryker. Sometimes I wish they would’ve killed me too.”
“No.” Chloe shook her head, crawled up onto his lap, and placed her hands on his cheek. “I know how that feels, lying in the hospital, wondering what’s the point of fighting. Then you get home, only to find your dreams have evaporated to leave pain behind and a life full of constant struggles. I know that despair, and I refuse to live in that. And I’m not letting you camp there either.”
“You say you want to be brave? I think you’ve got more bravery than anyone I know. So much more than I have.” Jake knocked his head on the pack behind him.
She leaned forward, her lips brushing against his. “That’s why we are so perfect together.” She pressed her mouth to his softly, ignoring the fact that it wasn’t Kissing Time. “I can help you realize how amazing you are.” She nibbled on his lower lip. “And you make me feel like maybe not all of my dreams were lost in the wind.”
Jake groaned and captured her lips, devouring her like he’d been starving for days. She felt like she’d barely lived before him, surviving on scraps of what life could really be. His arms banded around her and pulled her even closer. Her chest swelled and bloomed with love like a field of a million wildflowers bursting into color all at once.
Fourteen
Snow blew all around Jake as he pushed against the wind that battered him. He scanned left and right, searching. His heart pounded in his throat. Failure whispered in his ear.
“Chloe!” The storm whipped his yell up to the clouds.
A gust blew white so thick he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face. The wind knocked him in the back, throwing him into the frigid snow. He scrambled to his feet, knowing if he failed, she’d die.
A dark shape formed ahead of him, and his feet slipped in his haste to get to her. He pulled up short when the wind died and the snow stopped to reveal a man in a black coat with the hood pulled up. His hand tightened around Chloe’s neck as he held her against him.
Chloe struggled and whimpered, pleading with her eyes for Jake to save her.
Jake took a step forward, his heart threatening to pound out of his chest. The man lifted a gun at Jake’s head. Jake narrowed his eyes, daring the man.
A deep chuckle raced shivers down Jake’s spine as the man moved the gun to Chloe’s head. “Didn’t I say you’d regret it?”
“Chloe!”
Jake stepped forward, but his prosthetic slipped off, crashing him into the snowbank. He roared as the wind picked back up, blinding him from Chloe. Her terrified scream filled the air, swirling around him in surround sound, slicing into his chest and ripping his heart out.
“No!” he woke up bellowing, his arms flailing and throwing Chloe off of him as he sat up with a jerk.
He tried to orient himself, but the dream raged in his head.
“Jake.” Chloe cringed as she crawled to him, her eyes wide on her petite face.
He held up his hands, warding her off, but she pushed them aside and placed her small hand on his cheek. Her face was pale in the soft firelight, and her hand shook against his cheek. Her fear gutted him. He gulped, sucking in air like all the oxygen had disappeared.
“He had you.” He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t focus.
“It’s okay. It was just a dream.”
Jake shook his head and closed his eyes. He’d failed her. Hadn’t been enough. His throat closed with a s
harp pain.
“Jake, look at me.”
He squeezed his eyes tighter. He couldn’t see the pity and disappointment in her eyes. She grabbed his hand.
“Jake Silva, you look at me right now.”
She squeezed his hand with more strength than he thought possible, and he forced his eyes open. She took his hand, kissed the palm, and placed it against her cheek. Then she reached for his other hand and pressed it against her heart.
“I’m okay. It was just a dream.”
“I couldn’t get to you,” he stammered. “I failed. Wasn’t enough.”
“You will always be enough.” She leaned forward and gave him a tender kiss that broke the terror loose.
She was here and fine, for the most part. He pulled her back to him when she moved away, sliding his hand along her cheek and threading his fingers into her short hair. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed. The sound blasted the ice that had encased his heart and spread flames through his body. He brought his other hand up to her hair, needing the softness against his rough fingers.
She winced and sucked in a hissing breath. What in the world? He pulled his hand away, his fingers sticky with blood.
“What?” He pulled her around and eased the hair aside to reveal a gash with a bump already forming.
“It’s nothing.” Chloe pushed his hand away and tried to face him.
“That’s not nothing.” He turned her back around and examined the wound more closely. “What happened?”
She huffed. Her exasperation would have been funny if the situation wasn’t so serious. “I think I knocked my head on one of the stones.”
His fingers stilled and turned to ice. “I hurt you?” He yanked his hands away, already knowing the answer.
“No.”
“Yes, yes I did.” His voice came out harsh and louder than he expected, making her flinch. “I knew this would happen.”
“You didn’t mean to.” She reached for him.
He scrambled up, hopping twice to steady himself on the cabin wall. She bit her bottom lip and got to her knees. Hurt filled her dark blue eyes.
Crashing Into Jake Page 9
