“Don’t you get it? I’d never mean to hurt you.” Jake leaned against the wall and gestured toward the fireplace. “I’ll just throw you across the room, knock you senseless, and almost catch you on fire.”
Chloe shot to her feet. “You’re being a little dramatic, don’t you think?” She crossed her arms over her chest that rose and fell.
“Chloe, you’re bleeding. Nothing dramatic about that.”
“Well, next time you start jabbering in your sleep, I’ll know to wake you up.”
“Yeah, and instead of me tossing you around, I’ll end up choking you out, thinking you’re attacking me.” He smiled unkindly as the color drained from her face. “Not so dramatic now, huh?”
Her lips flattened and eyes narrowed. Man, she was beautiful when she was angry. He steeled his heart against her.
“Doesn’t matter, anyway.” He tore his gaze from her and leaned his head against the rough log wall. “We’ll be sleeping on opposite sides of the cabin from here on out.”
He couldn’t risk having her close. Couldn’t let sleep pull him under without her being safe from him. He’d just keep his distance, and he couldn’t hurt her again.
“Aagh.” Her growl popped his eyes open to where she stood.
She stomped up to him, arms flailing, and poked him in the chest. Hard. He barely contained the urge to rub it.
“So, what? You’re done with me now?” The anger didn’t cover the hurt in her voice.
No. Yes. He swallowed. “I can’t risk hurting you.”
“You may be scared, Silva.” She poked him again. “But I’m not. This is those ugly parts I was talking about, or were you not listening?”
He gave in and rubbed his chest. “I was listening.”
“So, then you’re just dense?” She cocked her blonde eyebrow at him.
He glared. “No, just realistic.”
“Well, how about this for reality? I know you’re afraid, that you don’t want me to see you like this. And I get that.” She paused and swallowed, the anger on her face softening. “Do you think I want you to see me writhing in pain, stuck on the floor in front of the toilet? Do you think I’m afraid of you tiring of taking care of me, of your plans being ruined yet again because I’m too sick to do anything?”
He shook his head. He’d never hold that against her. “You can’t help that.”
“And you can help yours?”
“Your problems won’t leave me bruised and bloody.” He roared in her face, hoping—praying—he’d scare her enough to back away and forget him.
She stepped closer, placing a hand on his chest. “No, mine will just tear at your heart one piece at a time until you’re left with nothing but vague memories of a full life.” She laughed humorlessly. “Maybe we are better alone.”
He clenched his hands at his side. The idea of life without her stabbed him in the heart. The thought of her alone ripped it in two.
She circled the other hand around his waist. “I don’t want to be alone anymore, Jake. But I have a dilemma, because I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”
He placed his hands on her hips, knowing he should push her away. “You deserve someone better than me.”
“You really haven’t been listening, have you? It’s you or no one. No one else will ever come close to comparing to you.”
He groaned, his fingers flexing. “Chloe, I need so much help.”
“I need help, too. I’ve been too scared to get it.” She leaned against him, pushing him into the logs. “But if you’re with me, I don’t think I’ll be so scared.”
He spread his hands across her back, leaning his forehead against hers. “I … I think it’d help to have you with me too.”
He pulled her close, amazed at her unwillingness to give up. How many times had he pushed his desires aside since that mission, believing no woman would want to deal with his issues and lacks? Yet, here she stood, forcing him to see his strengths, knowing that they could build on those to overcome both of their weaknesses. Though doubts still whispered deep in his soul, he wanted to focus on the hope Chloe voiced.
Fifteen
Three days after the crash, Chloe laid her head on Jake’s lap, examining the cards in her hand. Well, really, she stared at Jake over the top of her hand, her cards blurring to red and black. She loved how his eyebrows would furrow as he shifted cards around. How his mouth would tick up just the slightest bit on the right side when he had a great hand. When he had a dud set of cards, he’d chew the inside of his cheek. Most people probably wouldn’t even notice the minuscule movement, but she’d caught on to it sometime the day before.
Her hands shook, so she set her cards on her chest, hoping she masked the evidence of her hunger quickly enough. Why hide behind cards, anyway, when one could stare openly? Besides, she’d tired of cards hours ago. He’d taught her so many new games, the rules jumbled in her head.
When she asked where he’d learned them all, he’d talked about all the spare time he had in the Army waiting for a mission to come. Hours and days of boredom interrupted by moments of pure adrenaline rush. It probably meant this idleness didn’t drive him batty, unlike her. If she didn’t have a gorgeous man to stare at, she probably would run into the blizzard, just for some excitement. She bit her lip. Maybe she could convince Jake to put the game aside for some more kissing.
Jake’s lips flattened as his neck turned red. “Chloe, if you keep staring at me like that, I’ll never be able to beat you at this game.”
“That’s okay.” Chloe walked her fingers up his shirt. “I’m ready for a more diverting form of entertainment anyway.”
Jake groaned and tossed his cards into the discard pile. “We still have an hour and thirty-six minutes.”
Chloe huffed and set her cards in the pile with his. “That really was a lame-brain rule to make, you know.”
While she’d hated Jake’s stupid rule, she saw the virtue in it and loved him even more for insisting on keeping what she had named Kissing Time. Though, when he upped the make-out time to ten minutes, she’d done a happy dance around the cabin.
Now here she lay, with an hour and thirty-six minutes to wait. He stared long and deep into her eyes, his finger tracing her bottom lip before sliding along her cheek. Every place his finger trailed tingled like his fingers radiated electricity. She closed her eyes to savor the sensation.
“Necessary rule. Very, very necessary.” Jake’s deep, gritty voice made her smile knowingly as she opened her eyes.
She turned her face into his hand and kissed his palm, then rolled over so she faced the fire. Their mountain of wood had dwindled to a small stack, and the low embers they kept the fire at didn’t produce a lot of light. While she loved this time getting to know Jake, the hours dragged on and the disappointment of missing the concert had her struggling to keep positive. How much longer could she stay out here, handsome man or not, without letting the melancholy drag her under?
“I could stay here forever.” Jake’s statement seemed to echo in the small cabin.
She couldn’t tell if his words or the way his fingers combed through her hair caused the shiver that ran through her. “Why is that?”
“One, I have you all to myself.” His finger traced her ear, and she decided his touch caused the shiver. “Two, since the mission … I just kind of hate being around people.”
Her mouth went dry, and she tried to remain relaxed. She’d always been a people person, loving meeting new friends. Since her time in the hospital, she fed off of others’ energy even more, sometimes just going to a coffee shop so she could experience people’s emotions as she sat and watched. It was the main reason she loved performing so much. All that joy and excitement of the crowd would rush through her like a shot of liquid energy that kept her going for weeks. The thought of him hating being around people troubled her.
“Why is that?” She hoped her voice didn’t convey her worry.
Chloe felt his shrug in his arms and rolled onto her back to see hi
s face. His Adam’s apple bobbed with his hard swallow and his fingers trembled softly as he ran them through her hair. He didn’t look down at her, just stared into the fire, and Chloe’s heart clenched.
“I guess … I got tired of the scared looks I always get.” He cleared his throat. “Figured it was better to stay away from others than to have them afraid of me.”
Chloe couldn’t imagine anyone ever being afraid of him. Well, maybe if he scowled he might make people nervous. She lifted her hand to his scarred cheek and pushed her fingers along his scar.
“Could you have misunderstood their reactions?” she asked softly, not wanting to add more hurt on him.
“Always the optimist?” He grinned sadly down at her, and she shrugged. “You didn’t see their faces. Didn’t watch them flinch away.”
“You didn’t scare me.”
“You’re unique. Extraordinary.” He placed his hand on hers, pressing them harder against his cheek.
His compliment filled her with warmth and made her lightheaded. It also made her think about when she’d first opened the door back in Steamboat. He’d appeared so serious, so intense.
“Did you smile?” The words blurted out.
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “What does that have to do with anything?”
She shrugged. “They may have been more scared of your scowl than anything else. It’s a little intimidating.”
He curled his fingers around hers and stared down at her. He fiddled with her rings while he thought. He licked his lips and gazed back into the fire.
“No, I don’t think so,” he muttered low, and her heart sank.
“So … you don’t go places?”
“Only for jobs, otherwise I just stick to the ranch. Can’t scare people if I don’t go anywhere.”
Chloe’s mind floundered. What would that mean for them when they got out of this situation? How could he stay stuck at home all the time? She’d wither away if she had to stay cooped up at a ranch, no matter how beautiful. Granted, if she was with Jake, she didn’t need the rush of people as much. He energized her more than a million lightning bolts. But she still wanted to sing, to fill a crowd with joy and anticipation. She could find a way to have both Jake the Recluse and the thrill of the stage, maybe even show him he pictured himself all wrong.
“Didn’t you say your friend got married recently?” She prayed for the right words as he nodded, wondering if she could get him to not be so hard on himself. “Doesn’t she have a kid?”
He’s eyes narrowed, and his voice sounded hesitant. “Yeah, so?”
“How did they react to you?”
His forehead pinched together as he stared into space. Chloe bit the inside of her cheeks so she’d keep her mouth shut and let him think. Tears welled behind her eyelids as his forehead smoothed and a slight smile lifted the corners of his mouth. He squeezed her hand and rubbed her knuckles across his lips.
“What?” The need to share in his revelation was intense within her chest.
“Eva, Samantha’s daughter, asked if I was a prince.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes.
Chloe’s wide smile hurt her cheeks. “She did? Why’d she think that?”
Jake’s neck and ears turned red, causing her eyebrows to rise in amazement. “She claimed I was the prettiest of all, so I had to be a prince.”
Chloe giggled, covering her mouth with her free hand.
“I guess she and I will get hitched when she grows up.” Jake’s deep chuckle had Chloe’s toes curling. “She probably doesn’t realize I’ll be pushing ancient by that time.”
Chloe sat up and sat on Jake’s lap so she could see his expression in the darkened room, and placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. “So, I have some steep competition I need to worry about?”
“No. No competition at all.” Jake’s fingers dug into her hips.
“Did she say this after she’d known you for a while?” Chloe toyed with his hair, her lips tipping at the fact that he had longer hair than she did.
“No. We had just met. I was sitting out on the porch at the ranch, and she climbed right up into my lap without asking and pushed her book into my hand.” Jake’s eyes radiated joy and lingering surprise. “Man, I miss her.”
“So if this darling child wasn’t afraid of you, is there a possibility that you’ve been seeing things wrong?”
His shoulders slumped with his sigh. “Chloe, you haven’t seen what I have.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t scared of you. No one at the places we went in Steamboat seemed afraid of you, either. If anything, the women seemed interested.” She huffed and pushed out her lower lip. “I didn’t like that part. Not at all.”
“You didn’t like me at that point.”
“I liked you from the moment I opened the door.”
“Whatever.”
Chloe looked at a spot on his neck, nervous about her next question. “So, would you want to be around people if you didn’t scare them?”
“Why are you pushing this?” His gruff voice caused her stomach to flutter.
She shrugged and moved to go throw another log on the fire. “No reason.”
“Chloe.” He gripped her hips, keeping her from running away.
She pulled at his hoodie string, not wanting to say what worried her, but knowing it wasn’t fair to hold back. “I guess I’m just wondering what will happen when I have to go for shows.”
“I don’t understand.” He lifted her chin.
“I’m gone a lot, traveling for concerts. In fact, I don’t even live in Colorado.” She licked her lips. “You don’t like leaving your ranch.”
He cupped his hand behind her neck. “We don’t have to figure all that out right now.”
She nodded, swallowing the pain in her throat. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.
“Let’s not worry about the details, okay?” He kissed her again, and she determined to push the doubt aside.
“What about the make-out rule? We still have over an hour until Kissing Time.” She pulled away, but not far enough to discourage him.
“I call a time-out on that stupid rule.” He growled and pulled her back to him.
She laughed against his mouth, though doubt still pulled at her heart. Obviously, he wouldn’t be declaring his undying love anytime soon. He probably was right, though. She would process all this much better when she had a full stomach. For now, she’d focus on surviving. Once they got rescued, she’d focus on the rest. She fisted her hands in his sweatshirt, determined to make the next ten minutes of kissing earth shaking.
Sixteen
“Do you hear that?” Chloe startled Jake from his afternoon nap.
He usually wasn’t one for napping away the afternoon, but after three days of food rationing, he figured storing his energy was an important endeavor. Plus, then he got to hold Chloe close since she wouldn’t listen to reason and stay away from him.
“What?” He sat up, cocking his head. Was it a plane? Helicopter, maybe?
“Nothing. I don’t hear anything.” Chloe smiled at him from eyes bruised black with lack of food. “Has the storm passed?”
Jake slipped on his prosthetic, still amazed that his ugly stump hadn’t affected her at all, and rushed to the door. The snow sparkled in the bright sunlight, lifting his spirits that soon they’d be rescued. He still wouldn’t bank on it, though. He knew how hard triangulating a location could be, especially in mountains like these.
Chloe tucked herself against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “It’s so beautiful.”
He surveyed the clear slope and the treeless valley past the trees that protected the cabin. The storm had covered the plane in snow, but he could still make out the wing where it tipped into the sky. It really had been a miracle they’d found this smooth place to land when all the surrounding area was covered in the thick wilderness forest.
He kissed the top of Chloe’s head and turned to the cabin. “Yep. I’m going to go set the traps in t
he forest, grab some more wood, then see if I can get in the airplane and unload the rest of the packs in there.”
“What can I do to help?” Chloe moved to her winter gear, bending to pull on her boots.
His stomach knotted, and he hoped she’d take his request without fussing. “You can help by conserving your energy and keeping the fire going.”
She paused, her foot halfway in the boot. “But I want to get out of here. I’m fine, Jake, really.”
“I know, honey. I know.” He ran his hand through his hair. “But we can’t have you wasting energy you can’t afford to blow through. We aren’t sure how long we’ll be out here.”
Her shoulders slumped, her head bowing to her knees. She wasn’t like him, content to sit and stare at the fire, playing cards. The Army had trained him well for boredom. He could fix this, though.
He lowered himself next to her. “Listen, let me go take care of these essentials, then when I’m done, we’ll bundle up and snuggle on the front porch. We can watch the sunset over the mountains.”
She turned her head and rested her cheek on her knee. “Only if you agree to kiss me while we’re snuggling.”
His heart picked up its beat, pounding wildly in his chest. Man, he loved how she affected him.
“Deal.” He pushed the word past the emotion in his throat.
She leaned forward and kissed his lips before pulling back and waving him away. “Go slay dragons and other manly things.”
He smiled. “I’ll be back.” He kissed her one more time with a kiss that seared his insides.
He pulled away, reluctance to leave her heavy in his stomach. How would he be able to have her gone for months at a time? Could he leave his family at Stryker Security? He looked back as he pulled the door closed. She’d bundled back up into the sleeping bag and lain before the fire. Her hair stuck out on her head, probably from his obsession with running his fingers through it. While her bright blue eyes looked tired, they still sparkled at him from her face. Yeah, he’d follow her to the other side of the world if she let him.
Crashing Into Jake Page 10
