White: Emala's Story (Ragoru Beginnings Book 1)

by S. J. Sanders

  “You would do that for Mishar... for our family?” he asked skeptically.

  “Yes. My mother taught me one powerful thing about love: that you have to be willing to sacrifice for those that you love and put their best interest before your desires. She outlived her mates by twenty-two years, suffering in their absence, wanting to die. She lived to give me a chance, and then she took her own life to give me the best chance to escape. My mother gave up everything twice for me. I can give up Mishar so that he can live and be happy.”

  “I will hold you to that,” Vordri said, his tone solemn.

  “I would expect nothing less. Just promise me that if it comes to that, you won’t let him search for me, nor will you let him grieve. Even if you must make up something so that he hates my memory and curses my name. I want him to remain here with you where it is safe.”

  Vordri inclined his head, respect brightening his eyes. “You have my word, Emala.” With a thoughtful look he added, “Since you insist on being underfoot, you will be helping me today.”

  She arched her brows with interest. “What do you have in mind?”

  Chapter 14

  Pelted by snow that seemed to have no intention of letting up, Korash held the hoppers by their long ears as he traveled back to the den. More ear than body, a hopper would barely feed one rog—much less three mature males and one human female. It had taken him a large part of the afternoon to track them through the forest. Thankfully, it had been an abundant autumn, and the animals were plump. He couldn’t wait to see the delight in Emala’s eyes when the scent of fresh-cooked meat filled the den. Despite his warnings to Mishar not to get too attached to her, Korash couldn’t deny that he got a lot of pleasure out of feeding the little female.

  He was already fighting the instinct to bond her to him. The more he got a taste of her sweet and resilient nature, the more he craved her.

  At first, he’d assumed it was because she was Jaryna’s daughter, that his feelings were a transference of the responsibility and the debt he felt he owed his brother’s mate. As if she were kin. But the longer Emala stayed in their home, the more acute his feelings were becoming—and they were not the sort of feelings one should have for their kin. More and more, he entertained thoughts of doing things with her. Things that made his cocks throb within their sheath and made his aggressive, territorial nature tip dangerously out of control.

  For the first time, he wanted to dominate and demonstrate in front of Emala who the lead male was for the right to claim her and breed his progeny. Triads usually went through dominance battles in their early revolutions together so that by the time they found a female, the males knew how to act accordingly. However, Korash had never expected to find a mate and so their triad had always been relaxed and somewhat unstructured.

  Mishar wasn’t the problem. He almost always deferred to Korash, and so he didn’t feel any pressing need to act assertively toward him.

  Vordri was another matter. The same male he’d been forced to leave Emala with while he went out to hunt.

  He hadn’t been happy leaving Vordri at the den with her either. He’d gone as far as attempting to persuade his triad brother to exchange duties with him. Vordri always disliked spending the day in the den, anyway. He never failed to remind Korash that the lead male was supposed to guard the den, which was true—in cases where they had a mate to guard. Now that Korash was happy to remain within the den, Vordri chose to be difficult. The other male had let out an angry bark of laughter and refused. Although he had little doubt that Vordri was trying to protect their family, that did not make Korash any less inclined to beat him down into the snow.

  He only hoped that Vordri hadn’t put the female to work laboring in their den. Korash had been distressed when she’d attempted to see to their home. Ragoru males cared for their females, dens, and territories. Females were precious and were cared for in their culture. Males were raised to understand it was their responsibility to keep their mate happy. A triad had more than enough males on hand to see to the cleaning, protection, and feeding of their families. If a female tried to take on a male’s duties, it was the gravest of insults. It meant that she didn’t have faith in his ability to properly care for her. Even before he’d recognized the direction of his interest, he’d been sensitive enough to actively—though politely—discourage her from interfering. She had finally yielded, but as the days passed she seemed more withdrawn and unhappy. Now he hastened home with the hope that the hoppers would at least bring a smile to her face. He’d only just realized how much he missed it.

  As he approached the entrance of their den carved out of the rock wall, Mishar, barely visible against the backdrop of snow save for his blue eyes, raised one hand in a greeting as he approached from the northeast.

  “Mishar,” he greeted, “any disturbances?”

  No, Mishar signed back. All of the forest is silent. Even the animals are saving their energy rather than expend themselves traveling through the snows right now. There is no sign of humans approaching from the mountains. I do not think they are so foolish to test the snow either.

  “I doubt they will, but it is best to stay alert. Unknown humans are unpredictable. They are not to be trusted. We will continue to watch.”

  I hope you are not including Emala in that assessment, Mishar demanded, blue eyes narrowing.

  Korash let out a frustrated growl. “No, not Emala. I do not distrust her. She is known to me.”

  You wish to breed her, the other male accurately surmised.

  Korash’s fur bristled with agitation. “What of it? You lay beside her night after night rather than in the sleeping chamber with us. Do you not desire her? I know you have not scented her with your essence. You have not claimed her.”

  I have not. It is not my place. We are a triad, and you are our lead male. I desire her but I wait for my triad brothers, Mishar returned, his eyes focused on him coolly.

  “Vordri will not agree. We will have to take her to the village before we shame ourselves. It is the right thing to do. We cannot enjoy her comfort nor spill within her and not claim her as our mate.”

  Vordri is stubborn. He will understand if we give him time. If we act too fast, we will all regret it.

  Korash’s lips quirked. “You are quite wise, Mishar. Are you sure you weren’t meant to be a lead?”

  The male gave an exaggerated grimace. Do not think such things. The mere idea is frightening. I just listen more and talk less than both of you. His mouth dropped into a playful grin with his final words.

  Korash chuckled as he dug the door out of the snow that had accumulated in their absence and stepped inside the warmth of the den.

  The first thing that struck him was the pleasant smell. It smelled as if it were spring. There was a slight musk expected of a den that had been closed the entire day, but the smell of herbs and the sweet smell of a female—their female should Vordri cease in his stubbornness—were most welcome. The sight in front of him was far less so.

  Vordri sat one a pile of pelts facing Emala, each of them holding dried grasses gathered for basket weaving. He’d mentioned replacing some of the worn baskets that day, but Korash had never expected that he would draw their female into his work. He arrived at his brother’s side with a growl and ripped the basket from his hands, one side buckling under his grip. He knew it was wasteful, but he didn’t care. Nor was he concerned about Mishar gaping from the doorway, though he was grateful when his triad brother hustled to Emala’s side at her startled cry. Korash hated that he was frightening Emala, but enough was enough. Vordri had finally pushed him too far. Vordri was not ignorant of the ways of the Ragoru. He was purposefully shaming their den in front of this female. He knew that the male distrusted her and was resistant to her presence but he’d never thought he’d stoop so low.

  “How dare you shame us,” he snarled in Ragii. “You work a female in our den!”

  Vordri’s hackles raised though he refrained from standing. Instead, he glowered at Korash fro
m his seated position. “She is not Ragoru. You leave her with nothing to do, day in and day out, and don’t see how she suffers like a pelt you wish to admire but never touch. She did the cleaning without my prompting because she wanted to. She needed to exercise to vent her frustration as much as any of us, so I let her. I did not expect her to do such fine work. I’d fully expected to return and clean whatever mess she made. She made our primary den more comfortable than any of us manage.”

  “It was not your decision to make. You are not the lead—unless you choose to challenge me for it,” Korash snapped. It was not a suggestion made lightly. Losing one’s place as lead would mean that his seed would go dormant while Vordri’s would activate. He would be the one breeding and knowing the pleasure of seeing rogs come from his loins. Not that the other males in a triad didn’t love their rogs just as deeply, but to be a lead and lose that position was an uncomfortable consequence.

  Vordri shook his head and snarled. “You are our lead! But if you want to mate this female, you will have to show her the level of consideration that she shows us. I will not stand by and watch her lose herself in sadness. I will take her myself to the human village if you cannot respect her desires.”

  Korash pulled up short. “You are telling me that she wants to care for the den?” he asked incredulously.

  “It is strange to me as well, but if it makes her happy then I do not question it. She was starting to smile once more before you came tearing through here, and now she is upset again.” He growled as he pushed past him and headed for Mishar and Emala.

  Concerned, Korash approached them. Mishar was curled around her, his hands stroking over her reassuringly. Korash had no doubt that if he’d been capable, Mishar would have been crooning to the female to calm her. Since his triad brother could not, Korash took over that responsibility. His brothers looked at him with surprise, but it passed quickly as all three of them bent their attention on the female between them. At some point they shifted until they all lay around her haphazardly on the furs, Mishar to the right, Vordri to the left, and Korash covering her hip as he rubbed the side of his head affectionately against her belly the way he recalled that his mother had enjoyed. He didn’t still until he felt her fingers slide over his ears and into his mane, gently scratching and stroking.

  “I don’t understand what happened. Why were you so angry?”

  He sighed. “I was angry at Vordri. In our culture, we show our respect to females by taking care of them. That he was having you share in his work is considered a great insult among the Ragoru.”

  Emala’s belly shifted under him as she pushed up onto her elbows so she could look at him. “Seriously? Your females don’t do anything at all—they don’t contribute to their homes?”

  “They contribute,” he replied. His mother had been precious in his memories. Her days free to tend to her young, showering them with affection. His first teacher, his first understanding of love. He understood his mother to be the first worldly manifestation of the Mother that he’d known.

  “How?”

  “They bear and care for the rogs and share their affection with their mates so that no heart ever feels lonely or slighted.”

  “Okay. What else?”

  He frowned. “What else is there that is needed of their time and attention? There are three males to share between them the responsibilities of caring for the home and territory. It is the benefit of a triad. There is never much burden, and the female is cherished between her males. Each male of course will be demanding of her time, not to mention the needs of rogs who rely solely on their mother’s care for the first few cycles following their birth.”

  “I am not Ragoru, and I am not mated,” she said. “I also don’t want to be taken care of because I am desired for the way I look, or because you feel like it is your responsibility. I need to feel like there are ways that I can contribute so that I belong. I know that I am an inconvenience that got dumped on you since Mishar brought me home with him, but I don’t want to be. I want to show that I can be a valuable part of something for as long as I am here.”

  “You do not think you are of value within our den?” he asked incredulously.

  “It is clear that I am not. I have nothing to do. I am bored, while you take care of everything. Nothing is accomplished around here by my hand. It makes me feel useless.”

  Korash glanced at his triad brothers. Mishar looked concerned but Vordri wore a smug expression, since he’d been trying to tell him that very thing just moments ago. He resisted baring his fangs at the cocky male but gazed back down at Emala instead, and something within him softened. It wasn’t just desire or the pull of the early stages of the bond forming between them. It was an elusive emotion that he couldn’t quite pin down, but it warmed his heart. In her own way, she was taking authority of the den like a true Ragoru mate. It was a bit unconventional, but his life had been a series of surprises since the fall of the clans. That he found another new surprise in a small female who called to his instincts seemed to be strangely appropriate.

  “Very well,” he said at last. “We will try to... compromise.”

  A smile flitted over her face, her green eyes shining up at him containing within them all the beauty of the faraway spring before her face was lost again within Mishar’s pale pelt as the male hugged her close. As much as Korash wanted to growl at his triad brother for hiding their female away from him, he resigned himself to muttering in Ragii under his breath as he scooted closer to them to share in her touch.

  If she was going to curl into Mishar, then he would just have to follow her that she might enjoy too his embrace.

  Chapter 15

  Something changed, a subtle shift that was barely discernible, after “the big confrontation,” as Emala remembered it. Korash was acting far more dominant, and Vordri relaxed a little more every day. She even caught him in a playful mood more frequently, which she hadn’t even been aware that he possessed with all his gruff hypervigilance. It turned out when he wasn’t obsessing about the safety of his family, he wasn’t a bad male. She had to wonder how much of his own aggression was a reaction to a lack of security with his lead.

  She recalled little of her lessons from her mother’s knee when Jaryna had tried to instruct Emala of what to expect from a Ragoru mating. Although her mother had never filled her in about the role of the female in the household—if she had, it would have saved a lot of trouble—she had a lot to say about the benefit of a triad starting with the lead Ragoru. “The lead,” she’d said, “is the place of safety for the family. He is the foundation. He has to be, for the wellbeing of his family. A weak lead is a tumultuous family without direction or comfort.”

  When Korash had taken full control of his triad, rather than attempting to sway or bargain with them, it had relieved unseen stress within their family. That she could see a difference in Vordri and Mishar said a lot of what they’d been needing from Korash for a long time, something they either weren’t aware of or had been reluctant to admit. Even the rotations became a thing of the past. Mishar spent his days hunting within and ranging around their territory, and Vordri patrolled, alert for any sign of danger, while Korash now spent his days with Emala within the den. There seemed to be an expectant air when he was in the den with her that sent tingles up her spine whenever they got close to each other, but she had a hard time guessing what exactly he was so focused on. She knew what she would like it to be, given the heat that surged through her in his presence, but she wouldn’t assume. Instead, she allowed herself to enjoy the nuances of their developing relationship from day-to-day.

  He still wasn’t entirely comfortable including Emala in his chores, but he unbent enough to gradually include her. She doubted he fully understood what it meant for her to be included in the work, but he was trying to be flexible for her. She smiled over her shoulder at him where he lay behind her on a pile of pelts. Though the fire kept her warm enough, it wasn’t quite like snuggling into Korash’s soft, thick fur. Somehow it was
lusher than even Mishar’s fur.

  Burrowing a hand in a particularly thick patch of fur along his back she grinned as she lightly rubbed and scratched at him, eliciting throaty moans from him that teased her libido. “Why is your fur longer and denser than Mishar’s?”

  An amber eye opened lazily. “The Ragoru from the northern lands are larger and possess thicker fur than our southern relatives. It was the case on our homeworld too. From what I understand, the various breeds kept to themselves, rarely mingling. When we were transported to this planet, we were placed in zones similar to our indigenous ones, but many of us have interbred with each other over the generations as our population has dwindled.”

  “You mean to say that you are an entirely different sort of Ragoru?”

  He laughed at her. “We are a different ethnicity with our own cultures and, the further spread out we are, we vary in features, but we are still one species. In this way, we’re like the humans on this world.”

  Since he was in a question-answering mood, Emala decided to hit him with a big one. “Why is it that you are always here now? Don’t you miss being out there?”

  Both amber eyes now regarded her seriously. “I am here now because it is my responsibility. If we were mated, I would be available to you if you desire to breed and to protect our home and family.”

  “And since we are not mated?”

  His mouth curved into a devilish smile showing a hint of fang. “Then I make myself available in case you wish to mate.”

  Emala’s breath caught in her throat. “Do you wish to mate with me?”

  He closed his eyes and chuffed. “If you have to ask then it is too soon. Come and lean against me and tell me another story from old Earth. I really do appreciate them.”

  “Well, I could always tell you Little Red Riding Hood.”