That summer, I’d been so happy. Even to this day, when things got a bit overwhelming, I would cry in the shower, thinking about what I’d lost and what could have been had Cade been around in my life. But I didn’t tell anyone about these thoughts because I didn’t want anyone’s pity. I could imagine their voices—Oh honey, you really thought you’d get to be with him?
Yes. Yes, I had. I had been seventeen when we’d met, young and stupid, though my stupidity had had some severe consequences. Consequences I was happy about though, so that no one could judge me on my past.
Long ago, I had resigned to the fact that Cade was in D.C. with his holier-than-thou snobbish father and his airheaded, status-obsessed mother. He would never come back to the Park. What reason did he have to come back? The glitz, glamour and attention that his family craved was in places such as New York City, Los Angeles and D.C. The Park could not offer them any of these things.
And yet here he was, standing in my office, looking as handsome as the day I’d last seen him. I recognized him instantly, of course. Ten years had passed but he still looked as youthful as he did in high school. He was tall and had filled out more now, looking more muscular. I guess he was still working out, the fitting slacks and shirt being proof, but he’d left the collar unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up, so that he seemed casual and approachable.
My eyes traced the veins on his exposed forearms, regaling at the fact that I still knew every inch of him. From his curling blond hair to his muscular calves to the emerald green eyes into which I had stared so many times that I could still easily find them in a crowd.
But I didn’t know his heart or his mind. I never had because I had been a stupid, foolish girl who had let him break her heart.
I swallowed. Don’t cry, I told myself. Not in front of him. He didn’t deserve my tears.
What was Cade doing in my office anyway? Why had he come back to the Park? Was it—could it possibly be—to right the wrong he did by leaving me?
Don’t be foolish, my brain retorted. I had believed in Cade once, but wasn’t stupid enough to do it again. I was an adult now, I had responsibilities, I had a successful business. I wasn’t going to get hung up on a man who didn’t deserve it.
Before I could say anything, Cade spoke. “I’m… Laura…”
“Yes, that’s me.”
Cade shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts, “I’m….” He looked dumbfounded. “I’m sorry to blindside you like this, but I promise you, I’m just as surprised as you are.”
I was tempted to make a snide remark, but stopped myself. I could see that he was in as much of a shock as I was.
“My mother was the one who set up the appointment,” Cade went on to explain. “Or… one of her assistants did, I should say.”
“Of course, they did,” I answered, nodding. I remembered what Cade had told me about his parents—more like what he hadn’t said—and his relationship with them. It had been a taboo topic because his parents were a stark contrast to the person he was. Of course, after he left me, I’d researched about his parents and seen the gossip about how demanding his mother was or how ruthless his father. They got things done through whatever means or whoever. And they were filthy rich, so of course, they’d have plenty of assistants to do their tasks.
The person who’d called to make the appointment hadn’t given a name, saying that their boss was “high profile” and that they’d prefer to “keep things discrete before the face-to-face meeting”. It felt a bit odd at first, because Detroit didn’t have any high-profile people, but then my business sense kicked in and I realized that I needed a high-profile client, so that I could have my big break and become the go-to girl for events. Finally taste some success. So, I’d spent my whole morning preparing for this meeting. The event was obviously going to be big—possibly, the biggest thing I’d ever done. I now realized that it was Cade’s parents. Who else could it be?
“I didn’t know that you were an event planner,” Cade went on.
He wasn’t here for me. He didn’t care about me. I tried my best to keep a neutral expression, but it was hard. I had imagined this moment, seeing him again, so many times because I wanted to unleash a whole tirade that would contain ten years’ worth of emotions and heartbreak. I wanted justification for what he did, wanted to make him grovel for forgiveness.
I felt like throwing up. Swallow your emotions, I told myself. Put on your game face.
I could do that for a short meeting, after all. Cade had said that his mother had set up this meeting, so it was probably one of her society events, which wouldn’t involve him.
So, I put on my customer service smile. “Mr. Kirkpatrick, it has been some time. I’m sorry, does this mean that your mother is unable to make it to the meeting?”
My hand was still outstretched toward him and Cade just stared at me in slight disbelief. I raised an eyebrow and shrugged my shoulders. I wouldn’t let up. Let him feel off-balance. He didn’t deserve to know how much he had hurt me, how he had shattered my heart.
“Yes,” Cade replied slowly, with a smirk, like he was still struggling to comprehend the whole situation and my cold behavior. “Her flight was delayed, so it’ll be just the two of us.”
“Then we’ll go ahead and get started. Right this way, please.”
I led him out of the reception and to our conference room, a modern and sleek room that screamed of sophistication. This was by design—the soft pastels and vibes of the reception would put people at ease, but all business decisions would be made in the utmost professional manner. And it was my favorite room in the office, with large windows facing the street and an LED TV that displayed photos of various events I had done in the past. There was also a cabinet with samples such as dishware and color swatches, as well as a floating bookshelf that held some of my idea binders.
“Please, have a seat,” I said, indicating to the conference table in the middle of the room. I walked over to the seat at the end of the table, while Cade slowly chose the seat at the opposite end. Usually, being at the end of table made me feel like I was in charge. Now, more than ever, I needed this confidence boost and distance between us, so that it would be strictly business.
I opened my laptop and grabbed a pen and notepad, ready to run through my usual interview checklist. Usually, people would tell me about the events they were planning, so I had a good idea of what to suggest. But in this case, the assistant hadn’t told me about the event nor the client’s name.
“What kind of event is your family planning?” I asked.
Cade’s cheeks flushed red. “A wedding.”
I felt my grip tighten on the pen. Cade didn’t have siblings. His parents, as far as I knew, were still married. That could only mean….
Cade was engaged, going to be married, and he wanted me to plan his wedding! How heartless and cruel could he be? How could he continue to hurt me even after so many years?
But I wished to myself, the girl is horrible and makes him feel completely miserable. Though it was wrong of me to wish that for a person I didn’t know, I couldn’t help myself. For all I know, she could be a naïve person who had believed that Cade was the one and only man for her, just like I had. In desperation, I had often prayed that if Cade was ever married to someone else, he’d be unhappy and see what a huge mistake he made by leaving me. I had wanted him to suffer as much as I did.
How life continued to play its cruel jokes on me!
“Can you tell me more about it?” I asked in a flat tone, though there was a tight knot in my stomach. “There are many different kinds of weddings that people plan these days.”
Cade cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, seeming uncomfortable and stiff all of a sudden. Something seemed off—people who are planning their weddings are normally excited and happy, not uncomfortable.
I decided that it must be my presence that made him feel this way. What else could it be? Feeling awkward discussing your wedding with the girl you cruelly dumped, Mr. Cad
e Kirkpatrick? Well, good! You deserve it.
“My fiancée and I will be getting married in early September at my family’s lake house,” Cade said.
There was a loud snap, and I felt my hand get wet. I didn’t realize that I had accidentally snapped my pen! I looked down and there were ink splashes all over the notepad and on the table, though thankfully, not on my laptop and clothes. This was one of my favorite dresses.
The lake house.
I’d heard those words and just…snapped. They echoed in my mind and I felt my chest fill up all again, with deep sorrow just like on the day Cade had left me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice sounded faint and distant. I stood up. “I need to clean up this mess, my pen—”
“Are you all right?” Cade was at my side in an instant, as if he had teleported here.
Gently, he took the two halves of my pen from my hand and pulled a cloth handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping the ink off before it could slide down my hand and drip onto my clothes or the floor.
The closeness of his body made my skin buzz. His touch was firm but gentle, how it had always been, and I felt my body feeling flushed, a Pavlovian response. A long time ago, he had touched me like this, and I had taken it for granted. It was like the last nine years hadn’t been a miserable existence. I felt like I was eighteen again, a girl in love, unable to resist her.
Cade was staring at me with concern. “Are you all right?” he repeated.
I gulped. He’s not my boyfriend anymore, the voice in my head reminded me, as I looked at his face, full of concern. Cade was getting married to someone else. He was engaged.
I pulled my hand away and excused myself to rush to the bathroom, leaving Cade to be even more confused and concerned. Why was he being concerned now when he hadn’t cared for me at all this past decade?
In the bathroom, I scrubbed my hands in the sink until my skin felt raw. “Get a hold of yourself, for God’s sake,” I snapped at myself in the mirror.
After five minutes of vigorous scrubbing, there was still a small stain that would have to just fade with time. I dried my hands off and looked at myself in the mirror again.
“Should I end it now?”
I could do it. I could tell him that I didn’t have time to plan his event in such a short timeline. That I had already booked other clients, that his wedding would take too much time.
But that would backfire on me. Whether I liked it or not, I needed this job. I’d been excited when I’d first gotten the call and had been preparing myself for it. This was my one chance to get top-tier contacts. These were the people whose large summer homes lined the lake and who drove cars that cost more than my house. I had to get my head in the game.
Cade should mean nothing to me. He’d obviously moved on and it was in my best interest to move on as well. This was just a job—a really big one.
I will do this.
3
Cade
I stood at the window, looking down at the street and trying to breathe slowly to calm down my racing heart. Seeing Laura again was like being doused with cold water when you’re in deep sleep.
Actually, being doused with cold water would probably be a good idea, at the moment. It was like no time had passed. The rush I felt when I looked at her, the way my cock throbbed….
Just one look at her and everything I’d ever felt came rushing back. I’d thought that occasionally missing her and dreaming about her was bad, but to see her in front of me, I could hardly control myself! I wanted to grab her and ravish her.
She had become even more beautiful with the passage of time. When we had been eighteen, we were both young—just a boy and a girl. Now, though—she had become a woman. Her curves accentuated her body even more now, her face glowed with confidence, and the way she dressed was very fashionable and stylish. She looked like a thorough professional, which was so different from when we’d been teens—she had been a quiet, shy girl that only a few people in high school noticed.
When the pen had snapped in her hand, I’d ran across the room to be by her side before I could even think! As we’d talked, she seemed to get more and more distressed, which she was struggling to hide.
I don’t love my fiancée, I wanted to scream out loud when I was standing next to her, the ink dripping of her hand. The urge to wipe off the ink, to kiss her knuckles and her full lips, had been too much for me.
Fuck. I knew that part of this urge was because I was still in love with her, after all this time. But I’d never felt such a powerful urge to be with anyone ever in my life, to seize someone and kiss them and hold them tightly so that you never let go. I felt almost dizzy with my desire!
Surely, she felt it too, didn’t she? I had seen her shudder slightly as I had handed her my handkerchief. My heart raced, imagining how easy it would have been to pull her close to me and kiss her tender, supple lips. I could flirt, and enjoyed flirting, even though I hadn’t had the opportunity to do it in a while—but I had never felt such a strong urge to seduce anyone before.
A possessive desire welled up in me. I wanted to seduce Laura, to possess her and make her mine once again, to be hers….
Snap out of it! I had to stop dreaming. I was engaged, even though I felt nothing for my fiancée, I had made a promise to her, and to seduce Laura would be cheating.
Not to mention that Laura’s reception of me hadn’t exactly been a warm welcome. She had smiled at me like one of those servers in burger joints—obligingly and with no real emotion. Her demeanor had been entirely professional until the pen snapped—after which, she looked a bit rattled.
She must hate me. Of course, she hated me because I’d abandoned her. Now, she was in the bathroom, probably wondering how to put up with me. Or worse, she was wondering how to politely decline the wedding planning and would tell me to find a different planner.
You left for a good reason, I told myself. Those reasons hadn’t changed. I wasn’t going to seduce another woman as she helped me plan my own damn wedding, and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to seduce her when I knew that I couldn’t be with her. A decade had passed and yet so much had stayed the same. I still wanted Laura, and I still couldn’t have her.
I must tell Mom that we’re changing event planners. I couldn’t handle torturing myself by having to see Laura all the time when I couldn’t give into my desire for her. How cruel would that be!
But I couldn’t deny Laura, or anyone, a lucrative job simply because I was a coward who couldn’t control my feelings for her. No. If she wanted to turn down the job, I would respect her decision, but I wouldn’t be selfish and take it away from her.
My initial plan had been to hand everything over to Laura and then head back to D.C. as soon as possible. From the beginning, I had wanted nothing to do with this damn wedding planning business. But now….
Hmm.
I turned away from the window and looked back at the door. I couldn’t be with her, but maybe, I could spend a little time with her and come to know the woman she’d become. So much had happened over the past decade—I was a different person, and I’m sure she was too. There was no harm in getting to know her, in reconnecting, and seeing who she had become.
Was there?
You’ll want to keep her forever, my brain chimed in. It was true, and a part of me knew it because I needed her. I wanted to remind myself again of the person she was and what she had meant to me—the sight of her standing in front of me and smiling at me, the sound of her laughter, the smell of her body, the touch of her hands on my body…. I wanted to cram in as many memories of her as I could manage.
Then, once I was married to Della, those memories could help me bear the burden of a loveless marriage.
Laura returned soon, apologizing. “I’m sorry about that. Cheap pens, you know how it is.”
She sat down with another professional smile, no indication now of her having been flustered earlier or being angry at me.
I sat down as well, smiling at her. “It’s not a
problem. As I said, we were hoping to have the wedding in September. I know June is traditional, but it’ll just be too hot, so we decided to push it back, especially since we wanted to have the wedding at the lake house instead of in some fancy hotel. I’m in town for a couple of weeks to get the initial plans rolling before heading back to D.C.”
Laura dutifully took notes as I explained, nodding to show that she was listening.
“It’s going to be a fairly large affair, and I expect the press to be in attendance, which means that everything will have to be picture perfect.”
“Of course.” Laura made a few more notes. “I understand completely. Why don’t we go through some images, so that I can get an idea of what you have in mind, your aesthetic and color scheme, that sort of thing?”
I wanted to tell her that I doubted my mother would approve any “aesthetic” that I would have chosen. She’d want to change it completely the moment she could. But…my mom wasn’t here right now. What was the harm in telling Laura about the aesthetics that I liked? Then, I could see what she liked and wanted, and I could imagine our dream— though we would never be able to have it. It was just a dream, after all. Or it was probably me being a masochist.
Laura picked up the television remote and clicked through the various images on it. “You’re in early September, so you could embrace the incoming autumn and use that for your theme. Or, you could pick up on the tail end of summer and keep with that theme. We can do pastels, neutrals, or jewel tones.”
She clicked through a few images. I tried to recall what theme Laura would look best in. With her dark auburn hair, she looked the best in dark green and pastel blue, in my opinion.
The One and Only: A Single Mom Second Chance Romance (Heart of Hope) Page 3
