“No jewel tones,” I said. “Maybe if it was in the winter, that would brighten things up. But we’ll go with autumn colors or pastels, I think. We’re going to be on a lake, so I was thinking that shades of blue and green could be our color scheme. What do you think?”
“I think it sounds lovely,” Laura replied curtly.
“You really mean it?” I teased her, unable to help myself. “I don’t want a ‘yes man’ as my wedding planner. If I’ve got a bad idea, I want you to tell me that it’s shit.”
“Trust me, I’ll steer you in the right way,” Laura promised me. “An aesthetically pleasing event reflects well on the planner and the client, after all.”
“I don’t want it to be too…” I paused. “Too traditional. I would like it to be a bit classical—to match the house—kind of a timeless look. But I don’t want to be pigeonholed into one particular era. I like the idea of minimalism, but I hate the bohemian themes.”
Laura made several notes, nodding along. “Great! All this information should give me enough to start with the planning. I can reach out to some vendors and get their quotes and ideas, then get back to you. I want my work with my clients to be a dialogue, a conversation. That allows me to build better events that make my clients extremely happy.”
“Thank you,” I replied with conviction. Getting to spend time with Laura on this thing might be the best thing that had happened to me in ten years. Sure, it was bittersweet, but I’d rather have a little time with her than none at all.
“Would you like me to start making appointments with vendors?” she asked. “You’re on a rushed timeline, seeing as it’s already mid-May, but I can call in some favors.”
The rushed timeline was because Mom and Dad wanted me to be married before I could change my mind, and because a year-long planning schedule would distract me from their political ambitions for me. But I couldn’t tell Laura any of that.
“Ah, yes. We have busy schedules and so we felt it was best to get things moving along right away,” I replied, covering up the some of the truth. I hated lying to Laura like this, even if it was to protect her feelings.
“Well, we don’t have to worry about booking a venue, which takes the major worries off our plate,” Laura assured me. “I’ll do everything I can to make it happen.”
“Thank you, Laura. I really do appreciate you.” I meant to say it—I appreciate it—but the word just slipped out.
Laura’s cheeks flushed bright red and she dropped her gaze. I took out my business card and held it out, trying my best to ignore my blunder. “Here, please take this, and if you’ll give me yours, we can stay in touch.”
“Certainly.” Laura took my card, her face bare of any emotion, and handed me her card.
Our fingers touched lightly, and I felt a shudder run through me. The temptation to have her was so deep, it was almost impossible to resist. I wanted to beg for her forgiveness first and then remind her just how good I could make her feel. I wanted to lay her down on the conference table and make her scream my name….
“Excellent! I’ll be in touch,” Laura said, interrupting my thoughts.
We stood up, the meeting over. “Congratulations on your business, by the way,” I said. “It’s great to see your hard work and ambitions turn into a successful venture.”
Laura blinked in surprise. I don’t think she expected me to remember our past. “Oh, thank you. Umm…the years have been good to you. You look successful. I hope you are successful.”
“Thank you. The years have been amazing to you too, kitten. You look good.”
The old pet name slipped out before I could stop it and Laura’s eyes went wide with shock, the redness returning to her face. I used to call her that because she would make an almost purring noise close when I’d pet her hair, or we were bathing in the afterglow of sex.
Could I have been any more of a dumbass? I wanted to just smack myself.
“Thank you for coming in,” Laura said in a rush, grabbing the door and holding it open for me. “We’ll be in touch.”
“Of course,” I hurried out before I could act on my desperate desire to just kiss her, to get a taste of those sweet, supple lips.
On my way back to the lake house, I called Mom and told her about the meeting. “I’ve hired the planner you suggested. But I’ve decided that I’ll be the one who’s gonna be working with her, not you.”
“What?” Mom shouted in bewilderment. “You—”
“Mom, I’m not negotiating on this. I’m doing what you and Dad want regarding everything else. I’m literally marrying the woman you picked out for me.”
“Don’t make it sound so crass, darling, it’s not like that….”
“That’s exactly what it is, Mom. And that’s why you’re going to let me do this wedding the way I want it, okay? You picked out the bride, so let me be the one to pick the damn flower arrangements.” I paused, trying to be generous. “I’m sure Della would want a say, too.”
“Well, she needs to speak up then,” Mom sniffed.
I rolled my eyes though I knew that Mom couldn’t see me. As if making your voice and opinion heard around you is as easy as that, Mom.
“Besides, all she cares about is making other people happy. She’s an amiable girl, you know,” Mom continued.
I sighed and gripped the steering wheel hard. Della was a sweet girl, extremely quiet, but she had no fire in her. I had no idea how she felt about this whole thing. She seemed happy with the arrangement, but it was impossible to tell how Della really felt about me or the wedding.
Regardless, I tried to be nice to her. I knew she was being pressured by her parents just like how I was being pressured by mine. It was tough to break a lifetime of habit, especially when that habit was doing whatever your parents told you to do and letting them run your life. It wasn’t her fault that I didn’t love her.
“Look, I’m going to make the decision about this wedding, Mom, and that’s final. It’s that or I walk away from this entire marriage.”
Mom inhaled sharply. “You wouldn’t, Cade. You wouldn’t be so ungracious after all the work we’ve put into this relationship…this wedding. I raised you better than that.”
“I’ll do it, Mom. But is it so hard to let the person who’s getting married choose what the event should look like?”
Mom sighed, and I knew that I’d won. “Fine. But I won’t let it happen unsupervised. You men have no eye for such things. I’ll be around to lend a hand.”
I rolled my eyes again. Maybe Dad hadn’t cared about the details of his wedding, but I sure did, and I had an ‘eye’ for such things. I picked out my own suits and hosted my own parties, didn’t I? Mom’s ability to underestimate and dismiss me was always… so fun.
“Fine.” I didn’t want Mom ‘supervising’ me, but I knew that this was the best I was going to get, and I needed to quit while I was ahead. Otherwise, she’d call Dad, and he would call me, demanding that Mom handle everything, and how dare I upset her. The last thing I wanted was a fight with my father.
“Excellent. You’ll appreciate me being around to lend a hand, Cade,” Mom said.
I doubted that, but this was the best I was going to get. “Thank you.”
I hung up and rolled my eyes once more. I would still have to put up with my mother on occasion, but I was willing to do that if it meant getting to spend time with Laura. It wasn’t going to be the same as having her, but hopefully, maybe, it would be enough.
4
Laura
My struggle with getting the grocery bags to the house was as close a metaphor of my life as there could be. I had managed to get most of them in one trip from the car.
I unlocked the front door and staggered inside. “Drew!” I called out.
Living in Detroit had one huge benefit—housing prices were still insanely low because of the high unemployment rates and collapse of the automobile industry. That was how I could afford a one-bedroom, one-bathroom house. Drew had the bedroom and I slept on a pu
ll-out couch in the living area. Sure, I’d have loved my own bedroom and bathroom, but we both made it work. Plus, Drew was really young, and I didn’t have to worry about privacy for another five years at least. That is, until he became a teenager.
Drew poked his head out of his room as I placed all the groceries on the table. He had hair that was redder than mine, the color of vibrant carrots, with twice as many freckles as I did. His eyes were a warm green color—just like his father’s eyes.
I smiled at him. The circumstances of his birth had been unexpected and not at all ideal. I’d been raised by a single parent and so I knew how hard it could be—financially and emotionally. But I’d been determined to make it work. My heart had been so thoroughly broken by Cade, I’d feared that I would never fall in love again.
I know some would call me stupid, but I’d wanted to keep a part of Cade with me even after he’d left me. His son. Maybe that was why Cade had come into my life—not to be my husband, as I had once hoped, but to give me this beautiful child.
Every moment I spent with Drew assured me that I had made the right decision to keep him. He lit up my life with his presence. If, one day, I did find someone, they would have to accept Drew and become his parent. That was non-negotiable. But I didn’t have high hopes for that happening any time soon, or at all.
“Go grab the rest of the bags from the car, okay?”
“Sure thing, Mama.” Drew scampered out while I began to put away the groceries.
He returned with the remaining bags and placed them on the counter, opening them up so that he could start to put things away. He was always so eager to help me. He was so young, but such a sweetheart. I think he knew how hard I worked, in some childish way, though he couldn’t quite grasp the particulars of how my business worked.
Since he’d been born, we had been very close—almost joined at the hip. He was all I had in the world, and I was all he had. I wanted him to have a better childhood than what I had had. My mother had been… neglectful, to say the least, because she never really provided me any parental love or guidance. I wanted to make sure that I did better for my son and not repeat the mistakes my mother had made.
I’d read a ton of parenting books and taken classes, but honestly, I couldn’t have done it alone. I was lucky to have Caitlyn, my best friend, helping me out. Speaking of her.…
“Hey, sweetheart, where’s Caitlyn?”
She was a freelance photographer, so her schedule was flexible. And that was why I could start my business while juggling the task of being a single parent—Caitlyn would watch Drew for me while I handled clients and events. Both of us were the same age, but hadn’t known each other until I’d needed a babysitter to watch Drew as I finished my degree at the community college. She answered my ad and we hit it off right away. Caitlyn had needed somewhere to rest, somewhere safe because she’d been in any abusive relationship.
She rarely ever spoke about it. All I knew what that she’d sworn off men forever and refused to talk about dating or even flirting. In the years I’d known her, I’d never seen her show interest in anyone. Which was a pity because Caitlyn was beautiful, with honey blonde hair and hazel eyes, and a confidence personality that drew people to her. She could make anyone happy, but she deserved someone who would make her happy. Anyway, it wasn’t really my place to judge because she claimed that she was fine and would stick to her promise to herself. I understood because even I hadn’t been interested in anyone since Cade.
“She’s taking pictures of the tree in the backyard,” Drew replied.
I laughed. “Well, when the artistic mood strikes….”
“It struck me too! I built a whole city with Legos, Mama!”
“Oh? That’s amazing, darling. Did you do your homework first?”
Drew nodded solemnly, his green eyes wide with happiness.
“All right then, bring me your homework and we’ll look over it. Then you can show me your city.”
Drew ran to his room, returning shortly with his homework. After I finished putting the groceries away, I sat down at the table with him and looked over his work. He was so smart that my heart ached to see how much he had already accomplished. I wanted him to have every opportunity that I didn’t have as a kid. I’d fought hard and worked my ass off for everything that I had now because I was determined to give my son a memorable childhood.
Caitlyn came back inside while I was still checking Drew’s math homework. “Hey, you’re back. Another successful day?”
“I had that big client meeting.”
“Sweet.” Caitlyn picked up Drew’s history homework and looked it over for me. After a few minutes of checking it, she leaned over to me and whispered, “He’s a smart kid, I feel like we’re barely keeping up with him.”
“Tell me about it. What’s all this ‘new math’ stuff? They’re teaching it completely differently than they did when we were growing up,” I replied in exasperation.
When we finally finished checking the homework, I got started on making dinner. A home-cooked meal was vital, in my opinion, for health and to have the precious family time with your kid. All I could say was that having your own business makes you lucky because I made my own hours and could make sure that I had evenings free, most of the time.
“Drew, will you come help make dinner?”
He looked up at me from his tablet and gave me a puppy-dog-eyes look. Obviously, kids these days were exposed to a lot of technology, and I was no Luddite, but I wanted to limit Drew’s screen time and make sure that he spent enough time reading, playing outside, and using his toys. He was allowed 30 minutes of video game time after homework and play time, before dinner.
“But Mama! I’m in the middle of something!”
“What are you in the middle of?” I asked. If he really was in the middle of a battle or quest, I could let him have a few more minutes.
Drew looked guiltily at the screen. “Farming.”
I laughed. “Well, you can do some actual farming with me, then. Help me peel these potatoes, please. You remember how I showed you, so that you don’t cut yourself?”
Drew nodded and walked over, and I brought out his little stool. He was growing like a weed and I knew he’d be taller than me one day, but for now, he was still small enough to need a stool to reach the counter.
Caitlyn eyed Drew as he grabbed the potato peeler and the bowl of potatoes. “Is he old enough to be doing that?”
“I’m mature for my age,” Drew informed her. “My teachers say so.”
“They also say he’s incorrigible,” I murmured to Caitlyn, who laughed out loud.
Drew made a face. “I know you’re talking about me.”
“I was explaining to Caitlyn that you’re someone who likes to be taken seriously,” I explained. I’d always talked to Drew like he was an adult and explained things to him, so that he was aware of things around him. I wanted him to feel respected and to express himself well. Just that sometimes, he got…frustrated when he felt that people were treating like a little kid. That’s because I knew how much I’d wanted to be taken seriously when I was a kid. I just wanted to give my child the respect he deserved.
“Speaking of your teachers,” I said, “Anything interesting happen at school today? Give me the gossip.”
Drew launched into a story about the events at recess—the arguments regarding the kickball teams and who was dating whom now. Of course, at eight years, nobody was actually ‘dating’ anybody, but kids would just declare themselves to be the boyfriends and girlfriends of their classmate and then they’d hold hands while walking. It was adorable.
Part of me wished I could go back to being an eight year old kid. I wanted to have that simple life, where love wasn’t so complicated, and any sadness was forgotten with a good dinner and hugs from a parent. Not that my mother ever gave me hugs.
During dinner, I kept the conversation light and focused on Drew’s school and Caitlyn’s work, avoiding the topic of my “big meeting”. Drew didn’t kno
w anything about his father. I’d told him that it was my love for him that had resulted in Drew being gifted to me by the universe. I hadn’t had the heart to tell him that he had a father who didn’t know about him. How could I? I knew the hurt it caused me when I realized that there was a man out there who knew I was his child and didn’t care, didn’t ever come home. I had never met my father, and at this point I didn’t want to. I didn’t need that deadbeat in my life.
When Drew would get older, I would explain things to him. For now, all he knew about babies was that when two people loved each other, they gave each other a big hug and the baby would start to grow inside the mother. I couldn’t explain the rest of it when he didn’t even understand how adult relationships worked. So, when he’d become a teenager, and would think about dating someone, I would tell him about his father. All that mattered right now was that he was loved and happy.
But I would never, ever tell him his father’s identity. Cade wasn’t going to hurt my son.
“Mama, I’m done eating,” Drew indicated his empty plate. “May I finish my video game now?”
I looked at the clock. “You can have twenty minutes. Then you can play with your toys if you want, okay?”
“Okay.” Drew scampered off, happy to finish his farming game, while Caitlyn and I took care of the dishes.
Once we’d washed everything, I suggested to Caitlyn, “Want to go out on the porch?” That way, we could keep an eye on Drew as he played, but he couldn’t eavesdrop on us.
Caitlyn nodded and we settled ourselves outside on the wicker chairs. She started by telling me about the tree she was photographing—I didn’t know anything about composition or lighting, but I was happy to let Caitlyn prattle on. She was so passionate about photography that I loved listening to her explain the various angles and lighting tricks and all.
Not today, though, because I was completely distracted.
Obviously, Caitlyn knew the truth about Cade leaving me ten years ago and that he was Drew’s father. I’d had to tell someone, and because she hadn’t known either of us in high school, she was an objective observer.
The One and Only: A Single Mom Second Chance Romance (Heart of Hope) Page 4
