NeedMe

by Cari Quinn

  Saved by the chirpy bell.

  She tugged out her phone and checked the caller. Adam. Again. After a brief debate about which was worse—listening to her little brother wax poetic about Leigh’s big gray eyes or walking home—she decided she could always tune him out. “I need a ride,” she said in lieu of hello.

  “I’m still on my date.”

  “So why are you calling me?”

  “Because she’s in the bathroom again. Do you think it’s that time of the month or something?”

  “I’m sure she’s inserting her sponge so she can bang you like a drum. Now, seriously, I need a ride. Pronto.”

  His smooth chuckle managed to make her grin in spite of her mood. “Where are you?”

  “Uh, at an undisclosed location.” She glanced around and improvised. “But I might need the protection of my big, strong, ex-football player brother.”

  “Sure, pull on my protective strings. Gimme an address. And where’s your car?”

  She grinned again. Her brother might be a jerk of epic proportions when it came to boasting about his own accomplishments but he was also sweet and wonderful and probably way too good for Leigh anyway. “My ride can’t take me home. You sure you can leave for a bit? I won’t keep you long.”

  “Yeah, it’s fine. We finished dessert. She’s not talking much. I was thinking she might just be the quiet type but when I asked her if she was a Democrat, she—”

  “Oh, Adam the magnate. You don’t discuss politics on a first date.” Or ever, in her case. Her life was enough of a landmine without introducing twisty topics like tax reform.

  “I was just feeling her out. I’m starting to get the idea that maybe she’s not into me.”

  “What was your first clue?” Marcia asked innocently.

  “Well, the bathroom thing. And she keeps looking at her watch.” He blew out a breath. “Let me pay the bill and drop her off at the Nook then I’ll come get you.”

  “Thanks.” She rattled off the address then hung up. She definitely owed the lugnut a giant hug.

  She also owed her lover a phone call. Making him worry wasn’t cool, even if she wasn’t certain he wouldworry, considering his state of fascination with Cale and his sexual proclivities.

  She called Tony’s cell and got his voicemail. So surprising. After leaving a pithy message that indicated she was fine and had gotten a ride home, she went outside and crossed the street to the tire place where she’d directed her brother to pick her up. She wasn’t ashamed of hanging out a sex club but she also didn’t feel like entertaining questions. And Adam, being Adam, would ask plenty of them.

  With a sigh, she sat down on the curb outside the front door and contemplated the pack of smokes she habitually toted around in her purse. It had been a long time since she’d lit up but every now and then, the urge appeared. Like right now. If she closed her eyes she could almost smell the smoke carrying on the wind.

  Her fingers twitched but she tucked them under her other hand. Nope, no cigs. No distractions. She was just going to sit here and think.

  Heaven help her.

  She turned off her phone, not wanting to be tempted if Tony called—not wanting to know if he didn’t—and stared at the starry sky. It was such a pretty night, and out here away from the noise and madness of Kink she felt isolated, maybe even a little lonely. Definitely contemplative.

  Her mindset had done a complete one eighty in just a few days and she still wasn’t sure what that meant yet. Or who would be coming along with her for the ride.

  That she hadn’t pitched a scene at Kink showed exactly how far she’d come. She’d walked away and now she was thinking things through rather than making any rash decisions. God, growing up—even at almost forty—really fucking sucked.

  Adam appeared a short while later. As soon as she shimmied into his pricey jockstrap of a car, she let out a laugh at the hair metal band pumping from the speakers. “Eighties music? Really?”

  “Yeah, well, there was no dirty talking tonight, that was for sure.” He flashed her a wide grin then pointedly glanced out the windshield. “Oh and by the way, sis? If you think I actually believe you’ve been hanging out at a closed tire place all night, you’re wrong. Where’d you come from? Been streaking in the woods or something?”

  Again a flush crept over her cheeks. Twice in one night. How disturbing. “Or something.”

  “Not going to tell me?”

  “Absolutely not.” She leaned over and kissed his baby-smooth cheek. “I love you, you know that?”

  “I do actually. You loved me so much you sent me a redheaded hottie to sleep with tonight. And you know what they say about redheads.”

  She barked out a laugh. “What’s that?”

  He pretended to zip his lips. “Sorry, classified info.”

  She snapped her seat belt into place. “So you’ve never actually slept with a redhead.”

  “You would be correct.” He shot her another grin.

  Still smiling, Marcia settled into her seat. He’d cheered her up without even trying. Started to anyway. Figuring out what was going on with Tony would get her the rest of the way there.

  She hoped.

  “So where to, sunshine? Home? Or should we go drink to our mutually sucky nights?”

  “Bummed about the lack of action?”

  “Among other things.” Though he shot her another grin, there was no missing the sudden tension in his jaw.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing I can’t handle, sweets.” He took her hand, giving it a quick squeeze before releasing her.

  She frowned and stared at his profile. That was two-for-two. Apparently the world had decided she didn’t need to know anything about the people she loved. “That’s it? You’re not giving me any more than that?”

  “Let’s just say I needed to impress a woman tonight. I also really needed to get laid.” Such arrogance might’ve curled her lip if not for the way he clenched the steering wheel. “Since neither of those panned out, think I’ll spring for a couple strong drinks.”

  “Vague much?” She rolled her eyes. “Sure you won’t tell me? I’m a good listener.”

  “Since when?”

  “Ouch.” But since he wasn’t entirely wrong, she let it go.

  Something else she would have to work on if she wanted to become the queen of advice, of a sexual nature or otherwise. At least she’d begun to make inroads there by listening to Leigh. And she hadn’t hung up on either her or her brother, which had to mean she was learning, right?

  “Sorry. Ignore me. Thanks for the offer. When I’m in a place to talk, you’ll be the one I call.”

  “Really?”

  “You’re my best friend. Didn’t you know that?”

  “That’s so cool.” For the first time in a few hours, she grinned. “But doesn’t that violate some strict brother-sister mandate?”

  “Does it?” He lifted a shoulder. “I suppose it’d be more manly if I said it was Spencer, but he’s a tough nut to crack. That he even bothers to return my phone calls shows the depth of our brotherly bond.”

  “Fuck that. I’m a better best friend than he could be anyhoo.” She snuggled closer and tucked her arm through his, making him laugh. “Let’s go drink those strong drinks at my place. Fewer witnesses to our subsequent walks of shame.”

  “You’re on.”

  * * * * *

  Tony shoved down the rising tide of panic as he swung into Marcia’s parking lot. She was fine. Hadn’t she left a message saying so? She’d just needed some space to cool off.

  Why she couldn’t have just waited a couple minutes like he’d asked her to wasn’t the point. She’d gotten a ride home from someone—and God, please let her be home—and now she was probably digging into a pint of Chunky Monkey and curling up with reruns on TV.

  She was smart and he had faith in her. Pissed or not, she wouldn’t do something risky or break his trust by going home with some random guy.

  That didn’t mean she
hadn’t fucking scared him shitless.

  Kink just wasn’t the place for a gorgeous woman to wander off alone. He didn’t doubt she could take care of herself but why should she have to? That was his job. He loved her and dammit, he would protect her.

  He dragged a hand over his face. If he didn’t get a hold of himself, he wouldn’t be able to discuss things rationally. Tonight, of all nights, that was vital.

  No more screwing around. No more halfway. He loved her, dammit, and they would both have to deal with whatever that meant.

  He turned off the engine and got out of his car, so consumed with his thoughts that he didn’t even realize he’d arrived at Marcia’s door until he lifted his hand to knock. The moment his knuckles met the wood he heard a loud feminine laugh. He scowled just as the door swung in and Marcia leaned out, a bottle of Mudslide mix in one hand. “You’re—oh, hey.” Her eyes went wide. “Hey,” she said again, more softly.

  “Hi. Interrupting something?”

  “No. Just me and the kid.” She stepped back and gestured to where Adam sat cross-legged on the floor. “We’re playing drinking games. Except all I had was this liquored up mix,” she waved the bottle, “and neither of us really know any. Games, I mean. So we’re pretty much just drinking.”

  A stronger man might’ve held out against her. He wasn’t strong. Never had been when it came to Marcia Daly.

  Tony’s lips twitched. “Can I join you?”

  “Sure.” She peered around him into the hallway. “Cale?”

  “Home.”

  “Alone?”

  “Last I checked.”

  “Hey, Tony,” Adam said, saluting him with his tumbler. “How’ve you been?”

  “All right.” Tired. On the edge. Really want to be alone with your sister. But he didn’t say any of that. Instead he strode forward and slapped hands with Adam as they usually did. “So do I get a glass or what?”

  A couple of hours later, Marsh and Adam were still exchanging dating war stories. Apparently Adam’s date with Leigh had gone from extremely promising to his being reasonably sure she would change her number to avoid his calls.

  Not that Adam seemed all that broken up about it. The guy hadn’t stopped laughing all night. Marcia had started out similarly cheery but she’d grown quieter as the hours progressed. Now she stared pensively at the bottom of her empty glass while Adam recounted, again, how he’d won football trophies in every year of high school and the huge amount of perseverance that had required.

  A story Tony had already heard, oh, sixteen times before.

  “Listen, man, I think we need to call it a night.” Tony wrapped an arm around Marcia’s shoulders and tugged her against him in what he hoped would be an obvious gesture. Subtlety and Adam never made the best bedfellows.

  “I hear you. I’m fucking exhausted too.” Adam scratched his chin and rose, as steady as a ballerina. He’d barely touched his mudslide mix. “Hope I’ll see you for dinner at Spence’s in a couple days.”

  “Sure thing.” Tony glanced at Marcia, remembering they were fighting. Sort of. “Hopefully I’ll be there,” he added.

  Adam dropped a kiss on top of his sister’s head. “You guys have a good night.”

  “You too,” Marcia echoed as he shut the door behind him.

  Tony stared straight ahead, suddenly without a clue what to say. It felt as if they’d been coming to this moment, the put up or shut up bridge in their relationship, since that first day in the storeroom. Now he had no idea how to begin.

  “I’m sorry I left,” she said, her voice more pinched than he’d ever heard it before.

  She also didn’t apologize much. Or ever. “I was worried.”

  Her curtain of hair fell down to block her face while she ran a candy-pink fingernail around the rim of her glass. “I called.” Before he could speak, she sighed. “I know. I should’ve hung around. You pissed me off.”

  “I kinda figured.” He reached out and covered her hand on the glass. “You honestly don’t think I want anyone but you, do you?”

  Though her lower lip trembled, she didn’t reply.

  “I didn’t. I don’t. All I want is for you to be happy. And I want to be the guy who makes you that way, even if—”

  “Even if I ask for something you’re not comfortable with?”

  Somehow meeting her gaze made it easier to say. “Yeah. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed last night. It was fun and hot as hell. And it felt natural. Tonight wasn’t the same.”

  “I know. Cale was off, wasn’t he?”

  “Yeah.” He tightened his fingers. “And so were we.”

  “You threw me with all your baby talk.”

  Tony had to grin. “I never said I wanted a baby. I said it wouldn’t send me into panic mode if you got pregnant. Big difference.”

  “Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen. Realistically.” He wondered if she knew she was frowning. That the lines furrowed around her eyes that had nothing to do with age and everything to do with worry. “I’m almost forty and I’ve never been pregnant. The truth is I’m o—”

  “You’re not. You’re the most vibrant person I know. The most fun, the sexiest. The most beautiful,” he added, squeezing her fingers. “The sweetest.”

  “How much have you had to drink?”

  “Just calling ’em like I see ’em. There’s something else you’ll be, if you want to.” He didn’t shy away from her stare. “If you really want to do this advice thing, you’ll make it work. I have all the belief in the world in you. Enough for us both.”

  She huffed out a breath. “What about all the things I’m not? Have you forgotten those all of a sudden?”

  “I haven’t forgotten anything. Neither one of us is perfect. So what? You make me happy. Even when we used to argue about every damn thing, being with you felt more right than anything ever has before.” He rubbed her knuckles and let his gaze drop to their joined hands. “I want more.”

  “I know you do. God. And I want to be the one who can give it to you. I just don’t trust myself. I’m…scared.”

  The quaver in her voice proved how hard that had been for her to say. “You scared? Never.”

  Instead of flirtatiously tossing her hair and making some joke as she usually would, she shut her eyes. “I’m not the best bet for relationship longevity. Look at my track record.”

  “What track record? Other than your marriage, you said you never stayed with the same guy for more than a few months.”

  “Exactly my point.”

  “We’ve done okay so far, haven’t we?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, we have.” She finally opened her eyes. “The likelihood you’ll someday regret throwing your chips in with mine is frighteningly high.”

  His mouth curved despite the sudden wild thump of his pulse. “Some things are worth the risk.”

  She nodded. “They so are.”

  Tony smiled and feathered his fingers over her cheek. “I didn’t think you’d gone home with a guy tonight. Didn’t even consider it.”

  “I was pretty pissed.”

  “Even so. I trust you, Marcia. I know you wouldn’t do something to hurt me.”

  She set down her glass next to her hip. “You’re right, and I know the same about you. I guess that means I shouldn’t ask what was going on with you and Cale and that woman, why you didn’t want me there while you talked to him. But I have to ask. I need to know. Why did you ask to talk to him alone?”

  All at once, the long road to bliss that had opened up in front of him started to close in on itself. Marcia never took no for an answer. If he didn’t tell her the whole truth, she’d lose it. And if he did, she’d use the information against Diana in a heartbeat.

  Why she hated Diana so much he still didn’t know, because he hadn’t pressed. He hadn’t demanded the big reveal that Marcia would hammer out of him until he gave in.

  Diana wasn’t his friend, wasn’t someone he cared about. She was his boss, plain and simple. But what had happened between her and Cale
tonight had crossed a line, even if right now he and Cale were the only ones who knew it.

  Sometime after he’d pulled Cale away, Diana gathered her clothes and split. Maybe she’d recognized their voices. If so, she had to be frightened out of her mind at being discovered. A woman like Diana Sinclair would not be okay with being known as a closet submissive. She probably chewed tacks for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

  And she liked to get her freak on with anonymous men in a BDSM and voyeurism club.

  “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

  “You know how you said there are things you can’t share with me because they’re not your secrets to tell?”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit. I was there with the two of you tonight. I didn’t even care about going tonight but I went because Cale and you cooked up some scheme.”

  “Were we cooking up schemes last night too?”

  She pushed at his chest, forcing him back so she’d have room to stand. That she wobbled on the way up didn’t seem to slow her down. “One night has nothing to do with the other. I didn’t ask to go there again. I also didn’t suggest we have a second threesome. One was enough.”

  Though a large part of him rejoiced at the sentiment, Tony frowned. “You certainly didn’t seem to be in pain when you were straddling Cale in the lounge.”

  “You’re absolutely right. Offer me no-strings sex with a hot guy and there’s a good likelihood I’ll go for it. Same way I’ll eat a three-scoop sundae with hot fudge and caramel and clutch my belly for two hours afterward. I never said I was a saint.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and directed her attention anywhere but at him. “Good reasons or not, it still hurts to know you’re keeping something from me. That protecting someone else is more important than…” She trailed off and shook her head.

  “Appeasing you?”

  “You think this is about curiosity?” She ground her teeth together. “This is about my lover asking me to leave so he can have a private conversation with his best friend several feet away from a gorgeous woman who’s practically naked.”