Healing

by Kennington, Belinda

  Too soon he moved her gently and stood then held his hand out. Placing hers in his, she let him help her stand. Gazing into his hazel eyes, she didn’t want to look away. She’d always been mesmerized by them. They changed colors with his mood. Blue when he was happy, gray when sad or upset and green when he wanted some extra attention from her. At that moment they were the perfect blend of all. She’d never seen that shade. Reaching up she ran her hand along the side of his face, caressing his jaw.

  Pulling her close he placed his hand on the back of her neck, planting several kisses on her lips. Rick stepped back and smiled. Allison looked at him. He’d barely said a word to her since the dream started. He removed his hand from hers and raised it in front of her. Her necklace hung in front of her face. The beautiful family pendent swung from its chain. “I think you forgot something.”

  Allison’s mouth dropped and her hand went automatically to her throat. She looked down. “I’m sorry.” She whispered.

  He lifted her chin and looked her in the face. “Don’t be.” He took her hand and placed the necklace in her palm. Gently he wrapped her fingers around it. “I know you’re angry.” She started to protest, but he interrupted her. “It’s ok, you’re allowed.” He pulled her to him and hugged her tight.

  Allison took a haggard breath. “How could you leave me?” Sobs left her uncontrolled, trailing moisture in their path. She pulled away, ashamed she was still angry. Every minute with him even here should have been treasured, not spent complaining. Turning, she hid her face. Rick stepped up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “I hate being without you. It wasn’t fair you were taken from me.”

  Rick wrapped his arms around her. “I know. If it had been up to me I would have stayed.”

  Allison turned in his arms. “Why you?”

  Rick gently turned her around and leaned close holding her face gently in his hands. He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb and smiled. “My time.” Then he shrugged.

  Allison half cried and laughed. “I can’t forget you.” She trailed her fingers down the side of his face then leaned in and kissed him. Tears trailed down her cheeks. “I can’t…”

  He looked her in the eyes. “Don’t forget me. But I don’t want to be the reason for your pain. It’s ok for you to live your life.”

  In a flash, Allison sat up in bed. She brought her hands up to her face. Something tangled in her fingers. In the low light of the moon she saw her necklace. How did it get into her hand? She looked to the ceiling. Rick?

  She climbed out of bed and took her necklace over to her jewelry box, gently placing it in an empty compartment and replaced the lid. Is it possible Emily’s right? There’s a paranormal world out there I choose not to see? She turned to see what time it was. Only one in the morning. Sleep was out of the question. Padding her way into the kitchen she grabbed a glass of water then went over to her computer.

  Emily’s words wouldn’t get out of her head. The harder Allison tried to dismiss them, the more they invaded her thoughts. On one level she hoped Rick was calling out to her. She followed the link back to the web-site. Reading through the site again, this time taking her time, she tried to keep an open mind.

  Opening a new window, she typed in “paranormal” to see what came up. When the results came up, it amazed her how many web-site there were. Everything from ghosts to telepathy and so much more. She didn’t know there were that many believers. Maybe Emily isn’t as crazy as I thought. There were some similarities to what she was experiencing.

  Her opinion was wavering. Rick could be visiting her from the other side. But that raised a problem for her. He wanted her to move on.

  ***

  In the morning, Allison sat at her computer again. She hadn’t slept well the rest of the night. She’d surfed the web for anything about the paranormal till three in the morning. When she’d finally got back to bed she dreamed of Rick and Trent. Rick, over and over, guided Allison into Trent’s arms. Trent always accepted with open arms.

  Admittedly she enjoyed being in Trent’s embrace, it felt safe, but her logical brain fought against it. What man in his right mind would hand over his wife? Time after time she’d searched Rick’s face for a hint his actions pained him, but it never came.

  On Facebook she turned off chat. She couldn’t talk to anyone at the moment. Confusion fogged her brain, leaving her with no clue what to do. She loved Rick; nothing would change that, even death. But she couldn’t deny the attraction growing for Trent. He wasn’t even nearby, but the dreams had awakened old feelings buried deep.

  She wanted to talk to someone about what she was going through, but couldn’t figure out who. There was no way she would talk to her kids. Liz seemed ok with her getting out again, Stephen, she wasn’t sure. Either way it wasn’t something to discuss with your children. Emily was out of the question. Allison knew what she would say. Even though she may be swayed to Emily’s side, she had to think of other possibilities too.

  Then there was Trent, her friend and the one in her dreams. She’d make a fool out of herself. She was going to have to sort through her thoughts and feelings on her own. Figure out what she wanted.

  The phone rang. She grabbed the handset on top of her desk. “Hello?”

  “Hi, sweet pea.” Her father, David Clark, spoke with his favorite nickname for her.

  “Hi, Dad.” She use to hate it when he called her that, but now it made her smile.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Not much, getting ready for Liz’s birthday, then her graduation.”

  “Up for some visitors in about a week?”

  “Always.” She loved seeing her dad. His wife, not as much. Ten years ago her mother died. Allison was an adult, married with kids of her own, but losing her mom threw her for a loop. She wasn’t sure she truly accepted her mother’s death, and then her dad remarried a year and a half later. She couldn’t believe he had moved on so quickly, and hated Cindy for snatching him up. She’d been resentful of her father and Cindy for a while, but knew she needed to be civil. She’d never call the woman Mom, but Allison saw how happy she made him.

  “We won’t be able to stay till Liz’s party, but I would like to take everyone out for her birthday.”

  “Liz will be thrilled. Can’t wait to see you, Dad.”

  “Great, see you soon. Love you.”

  “Love you. Bye.” She hung up. She couldn’t wait till her dad got there. It was last fall when her father came to see them. He and Cindy were traveling the states.

  “Who’s that?”

  Allison startled and spun around in her chair.

  “Stephen. You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” She looked into her son’s face. What’s the glare for? “That was Grandpa Clark. He’s coming for a visit next week.”

  He stood a couple of feet away and pointed to the computer. “No, that?”

  She turned back around and looked at her monitor. On Facebook, Trent’s profile was open. How had she gotten onto his page? She was scrolling through her news feed.

  “That’s an old friend from high school.”

  “I’ve never seen him before.” Stephen turned to her and crossed his arms in front of him.

  She clicked out of Trent’s profile and turned to face her son. “We talk sometimes, but the last time I saw him was two years ago.”

  His eyes narrowed. “When Dad died?”

  Her mouth popped open. Fighting back the lump in her throat she replied. “Yes, he came to the funeral.”

  He took a step back. “When did you see him before that?”

  “What’s with all the questions? Is something wrong?” Allison stood taking a step towards Stephen and reached out to him.

  “No!” He shouted and backed up a few more steps. “You will never replace Dad!” He turned and stalked out of the room. A moment later the front door slammed.

  Allison froze, her arms still out in front of her. What just happened? Had she given any indication that s
he would bring someone new into the family? He still misses his dad. Guilt swept over her and she let her arms fall to her sides. She’d worked so hard to appear okay she didn’t make sure Liz and Stephen were. How could she overlook that? They seemed to have come to terms with their father’s passing. Maybe that was what she wanted to see?

  ***

  Trent, finally in Lincoln, sat at his desk in the new building, an empty plant with extra land for expansion when the time came. Coming straight to the plant, he had a few minutes to catch his breath before the early lunch meeting downtown. It was quiet, only a few people moved around for now. He was still surprised this opportunity had come to him, and glad to have a legitimate reason to be in town.

  From the first time he had met Allison in high school he knew she was a keeper. They had some of the same friends, but he was a year ahead of her and very shy. He couldn’t bring himself to ask her out and regretted it ever since. He went through three years of school admiring her from afar. Then they went off to college and lost contact.

  He was overjoyed when she had found him on Facebook many years later. They had both been married, but happy to have the friendship back. He loved his wife and figured he and Allison weren’t meant to be.

  But when his wife unexpectedly left without notice, his whole world fell apart. All she left behind was a short note letting him know she wouldn’t be back. “Sorry Trent, I can’t do this anymore. Ruth.”

  He couldn’t understand how a mother could leave her child. If she didn’t love him anymore he could have understood that. It would have hurt but he could have understood. They could have gotten a divorce. But leaving her son. That was unimaginable. Why did she feel like she had to run away?

  Their son blamed himself for a long time. Late in the night, Trent could hear his son crying alone in his room. His own heart was broken and on top of it he had to help keep his son’s world from shattering.

  He’d waited a couple of years for her. It was like she had disappeared off the face of the planet. Not a phone call or even a letter. During those years if she’d returned he would have taken her back. But finally he’d given up, and his lawyer suggested filing for divorce. By then he didn’t see any reason to continue with the marriage. She didn’t want to.

  After six months of filing, completing the proper documents, following procedures and waiting for the courts to make a decision, he was granted a divorce. Still to this day he hadn’t heard from Ruth. Now he didn’t care to.

  He had moved on and was falling again for the beautiful, but pained, Allison. He’d had his own baggage to deal with over the years, but he didn’t think Allison was dealing with hers. Since he’d the first dream of Allison in his house, he couldn’t get her out of his head. The way she was crumbled on his living room floor crying, haunted him. What would have her in so much pain? But the big question was, why was he dreaming it? He had thought of her often, hoping for a sign she was moving on, but now he felt like he was obsessing. Why couldn’t he get her out of his mind?

  Eight

  Allison sat at her desk trying to concentrate on her work. A tap on the edge of her cubical made her look up.

  “We have to talk.” Bob held a stack of papers.

  Allison inwardly cringed. What did her boss bring today to dump in her lap? She’d thought about screwing up the work to teach him a lesson, but knew she would just get the bad end of that stick.

  Allison turned her chair to face him and smiled sweetly. “Yes?” That day wasn’t the day to mess with her. After the scene with her son and the crap she had been going through, her fuse was short. She felt the heat begin to boil before he even stepped into the cubical.

  Bob dropped the stack of paper in his hands on her desk with a thud. Lifting the top page he pushed it into Allison’s face. “What would you call this?”

  Allison took the paper and looked at it. It was some of the work he had her do last week. “I’d say it’s your work that I did for you.” One word was misspelled, circled in red.

  “Funny.” He yanked the paper out of her hand. “I would say its crap. I got my butt chewed for this mistake.” He threw the paper onto her desk.

  Allison slowly stood up. Was he really laying into me over one misspelled word? She squared her shoulders and stepped in front of her boss. Quietly, barely a whisper, she said. “Are you kidding me? Every day you dump your work on me, stuff I’m not supposed to do, and you don’t even have the brains to check it yourself before handing it in? Is that why you don’t do your own work? Not for the reason I thought, that you’re lazy, but because you’re too stupid?” She dragged out the last word, watching his reaction.

  With each new shade of red Bob turned, Allison smiled a little more. The look on his face was priceless. It was nice to give him some of the frustration for a change. Suddenly, he spun on his heels and walked away.

  Allison dropped her head forward letting her hair fall into her face. Reality hit her like a brick. She’d have to face him again. That was dumb. She should have taken whatever he said with a smile like always. She grabbed her purse. “I’m taking a long lunch.” She told Grace as she rushed out, not giving her a chance to ask questions.

  ***

  Allison went to the city park instead of meeting up with Emily. It was a couple of blocks from her office. She sat at the wooden picnic table under the shade of a large oak tree, poking at the salad she’d made for today.

  Pulling out her phone she wanted to text Emily but paused, staring at the screen. Instead she set the alarm for the end of her lunch hour and put it back in her purse. She needed to get some air and clear her head.

  She hoped she still had a job when she returned to work. Having a bad day was no reason to get on her boss’s case. She needed to work. Rick’s life insurance was enough to pay off the house with a little left over, which she’d put into savings. To cover the monthly bills and to pay for the school activities her kids joined, she went back to work. The job also kept her from wondering the house in a depression and she enjoyed the work itself.

  She dropped her fork and pushed the food away. Laying her arms on the table, she rested her head on top of them. How could she be in this predicament? Just a few days ago her life was normal. She went to work and came home. Days out consisted of grocery shopping and running errands. She took care of her kids, exactly what she should be doing.

  “Allison.” A male voice called to her.

  Allison sat up straight. Who would be calling her name? A hand lightly touched her shoulder blade as he sat next to her, straddling the bench. Trent smiled at her.

  There he sat, dark brown eyes gazed into hers. Strong shoulders and arms she imagined would wrap perfectly around her.

  “Oh my...” Allison blinked a couple of times. Was he really sitting in front of her or was she having a stress-induced hallucination?

  “How are you?” His deep voice woke her.

  She threw her arms around him. His arms encircled her and she took a deep calming breath. Mmm…he smells good. She relaxed against her friend and closed her eyes. Rick’s words floated into her mind. “Your new beginning.” Her eyes flew open and she stiffened, sitting up automatically. Trent’s confused look made her immediately force herself to relax again. She slid back to put a little space between them and smiled. “What on earth are you doing in Lincoln?”

  “I’m here on business. Just got out of a meeting across the street.” He pointed in the direction of a line of office buildings a block down. “I was on my way to get something to eat when I saw you here.”

  Butterflies kicked up a storm in her belly. She controlled the urge to run her fingers through his slightly tousled hair. Grabbing the lid of her food container, she played with it. She was so nervous. Their relationship had always been so easy. Messaging on Facebook, talking about how life was going. He’d been another shoulder to cry on at the funeral. Someone that kept her connected to the outside world. It was all so much easier before she looked at him as possibly more than a friend.

>   Trent ran his hand down her arm. “It’s good to see you.”

  “Yeah, it’s been a while. How are you?” She looked up. Damn dreams! She never before noticed how deep and beautiful his eyes were. She’d always been partial to hazel eyes, but she found herself getting lost in Trent’s chocolate brown ones.

  “Good. Where’s Emily? Don’t you normally have lunch with her?”

  “Um…” Allison looked down at the table. She didn’t want him to know why she was eating alone. She couldn’t blurt out she was upset with her best friend because of Emily’s wild theories about the dreams she was having of him. That would have led to questions she didn’t have any good answers too. “She’s sick today.”

  Trent was quiet for a moment. “Well then, it must be fate we ran into each other. I’ll keep you company.”

  “You don’t have to.” She said aloud but silently pleaded with him to stay.

  “It’s my pleasure. My next meeting doesn’t start for an hour.”

  “If I had known you’d be in town we could have met for lunch. I’ll have to head back to work soon.” Music started playing, muffled in the background. Trent gave her a crooked smile. Part way through the song it paused then started again. “Oh.” Allison realized it was her phone. She fished it out of her purse and looked at the screen. Emily was texting her.

  Where are you? You ok? Call me.

  Allison pushed ignore and put it on silent then set it to the side. She smiled at Trent, and he returned the gesture. “So… how did your job bring you to Lincoln?”

  “They’re expanding, opening a new plant in Lincoln. I’m here finalizing the purchase, getting things set up. You know, working out the kinks.”

  “Sounds exciting.”

  “Not really, a lot of meetings and stuffy business people.”