Healing

by Kennington, Belinda

  “So, how do you know Zoey?”

  Oh, yeah. She’d forgotten she had company, thanks to her friends. “We both work at the center.” Allison rested her arms on the table and looked around. Everyone had left her alone with Kevin, abandoning her for the music.

  He leaned forward smiling. “That’s a good place to work.”

  “I enjoy it.” She looked up and found herself inches from Kevin. He’d moved in close to her. Trying not to be too obvious, she moved her chair back a couple of inches.

  Kevin grinned. “Would you like to dance?”

  “Sure.” She took the hand he offered and he helped her stand. A new song began as they reached the dance floor. Allison spotted Emily and headed towards her.

  Emily playfully bumped Allison when she stepped close. “He’s cute.” She whispered into Allison’s ear.

  Yeah, but no Trent. “Too young. Did you have anything to do with this?” She whispered back.

  Emily held her hands up in surrender and shook her head.

  Allison let it go and joined the fun. She was enjoying herself and didn’t want to sabotage this. After a couple of fast tracks, the music slowed and everyone paired off. Allison turned to leave the floor and sit back at the table, but Kevin grabbed her hand, and pulled her close to him. She stiffly slow-danced with him.

  You’re here to have fun. To interact with others. Allison made herself relax. Their moves were fluid.

  Less than half way through the song, Kevin’s hand lowered on her back. Then his hand moved again, coming to rest on her backside. Allison tensed. “What are you doing?” She push him out to arm’s length.

  “I was told you’re looking to have some fun.” He grinned and moved close again. He caressed the side of her face then leaned in.

  Looking for fun? Allison did the only thing she could think of, and slipped her hand between them. Kevin’s mouth made contact with her hand. His eyes flew open and he stepped back. “What kind of person do you think I am?” Did Zoey tell him she was looking for a one-night stand? How could she think that?

  “You ok?” Emily asked coming to stand next to Allison. Everyone surrounded them as Zoey pulled her brother to the side.

  Her world tilted and she leaned over bracing her hands on her knees. All she’d wanted was a night out dancing with her friends. She didn’t ask to be surprised with a blind date. “He tried to kiss me.”

  Emily put her arm around her. “Um… sorry Allison. When Zoey heard you were going out, she thought you’d want some company.” Wayne came up and stood on the other side of her and patted her back a couple of times.

  Allison stood straight. “So she told him I was looking for a one-night stand?” How could her friends think she was ready for that? I just wanted a night out with Emily.

  Emily’s jaw dropped, but she snapped it closed quickly. “I’m sure she didn’t mean that. She was trying to help.” Emily said, leading her towards the table.

  Allison looked over at Kevin and Zoey. Zoey was waving her hands everywhere. Allison was only able to overhear a few things. “Are you kidding me?” And, “I just said to keep her company.”

  Allison sat down and laid her head on the table. The initial shock was wearing off. Now she just wanted to disappear. Confused and embarrassed, her insecurity crept in. Did I over react?

  A hand gently touched her back. “I’m so sorry.” Zoey said as she sat in the chair next to her.

  “It’s ok.” Allison said, not moving.

  “I told my stupid brother to hang out with you. I didn’t want you feeling like a fifth wheel. And he had the nerve to say, ‘I couldn’t help myself. She’s beautiful.’ Can you believe that? Like that kind of excuse would make everything ok. I’m so going to hurt him.”

  Allison looked at Zoey, not removing her head from the table. Had she heard her right? Huh?! I’m not just an old widow? She sat up and faced Zoey.

  “I’m sorry. I wanted this night to be fun for you.”

  She took her friends hand. “It’s ok. I was taken off guard. Tell Kevin I’m fine.” She turned to Emily. “I think I’ll head home. If you’re not ready, I’ll call a cab.”

  “No, we’ll take you. It’s getting late anyway.” She left to retrieve Wayne who was standing over with all the guys. Kevin had his head hung low. The men must have been giving him a hard time.

  Allison gathered her stuff and went to the entrance. As she waited, Kevin approached. She looked around. Wayne stood in the same place with his arm around Emily. When their eyes met, he gave Allison a slight nod.

  “I wanted to apologize for my behavior.”

  Her gaze returned to Kevin. “Don’t worry about it. I was just surprised.” Her face flushed, feeling stupid for acting like an innocent little schoolgirl. She reached out and patted his arm hoping that would let him know there were no hard feelings.

  “All the same, I am sorry.” A small smile touched his lips as he turned and walked back over to Zoey. When he reached her, she smacked him upside the head.

  Allison felt bad for Kevin. A moment later, Emily and Wayne joined her and they headed out the door. Climbing in the car, Emily turned in her seat. “You ok?”

  Allison looked into her best friend’s eyes. Concern etched her face. She probably thought this would send Allison back into her hole. She might be right. “I’m fine. Just tired.” She leaned against the door and stared out the window. All she wanted was to have fun, to live again. What was so wrong with her, that a simple flirt caused her to freak out?

  Ten

  Allison’s eyes fluttered open. The sun came in through the window. Wishing the morning would wait, she moaned, rolled over and pulled the blankets over her head. She wanted the meadow and Rick, but they didn’t come. She even longed to see Trent. Lying still, she tried to fall back to sleep. Maybe she hadn’t slept long enough.

  Her attempt to fall back to sleep was a dream in itself. Mother Nature wouldn’t stop calling. Eventually, she flung the covers off and got up. She had a list of chores to get done anyway.

  Liz and Stephen already sat at the table eating scrambled eggs when she entered the kitchen. “I left you some in the pan.” Liz pointed past Allison.

  She looked from Liz to the stove. The covered skillet was on the stove, steamy dew still covered the underside. “Thanks.” She served herself and sat. “Do you two have plans today?”

  “Tom and I are going to the mall. We’re going to see the new transformer movie.” Stephen said between bites.

  “How are you getting there?” Oh… a distraction.

  “I’m taking them.” Liz said. “I’m going to check out party decorations and maybe get some more music.”

  “Do you want me to come with?” Please. Please need me to come.

  “No, I’m meeting a few friends.”

  “K.” Her shoulders slumped. They don’t need me. She’d hoped. It would have been a good distraction. Now she would be working in the house with lots of time to think.

  Half an hour before noon, Allison walked in the back door with an arm full of laundry she’d pulled off the line. She loved when it warmed up and she could hang her clothes outside to dry. Setting the basket on the floor next to the couch, she folded everything into piles.

  Allison pulled the last article of clothing out of her basket and paused. A couple of shirts and a pair of Liz’s jean wasn’t there. What did I do with them? Flipping through the stacks again she still couldn’t find them.

  The doorbell rang. She looked towards the entryway then quickly placed her piles into the laundry basket. They’ll show up eventually.

  Emily stood on her porch. Allison paused for a second, not sure she wanted to talk. She was working hard to ignore everything. “Hi.”

  “How are you?”

  “Fine.” Allison stepped to the side, letting Emily in. There was no reason to push Emily away, not that she really wanted to. Besides, Emily wouldn’t let it happen anyway. After closing the door, she headed to the kitchen. “Thirsty?”

 
; “I’m sorry about last night.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” She pulled two glasses out of the cupboard then filled them with apple juice. There were times Allison wished Emily didn’t have a need to resolve everything right away. But she was surprised it took her so long to come over.

  “I shouldn’t have invited everyone. I was just so excited you wanted to go out and wanted you to have the best night ever. I screwed up.”

  Allison handed one of the glasses to Emily and moved into the living room. “Like I said, don’t worry about it. I had fun.” She moved her piles into the basket and sat on the couch.

  Emily sat, facing her and half smiled. “Really?”

  “Yeah, it was great till Mr. Grabby made a move.”

  Emily laughed. “Understood, but you have to admit, Kevin was a hunk.”

  “Ok, yes. But he’s not for me.”

  Emily got a sparkle in her eye. “Is there someone in particular for you? What’s going on with Trent?

  Allison rolled her eyes. “Nothing.”

  “Have you had any more dreams?” She put quotes around dream.

  “Not for a couple of nights. Man, I miss Rick.”

  Emily wrapped her arms around Allison. “I know.”

  Allison sniffed, holding back the tears that wanted to spill. “I feel so guilty.”

  Emily leaned back. “Why?”

  She looked down and sat silent for a moment. Saying the words out loud would make it real.

  Emily moved into her line of sight. “It’s okay.”

  “I’m thinking about Trent differently. He’s in town for business. We ran into each other at the park and it felt so good being near him. Is that horrible?”

  “Oh honey.” Emily grinned. “It’s not horrible at all.”

  “Ugh.” Allison stood and paced. “It’s bad enough I’m thinking about another man but one that lives in a different state? How healthy is that?”

  Emily stood and stopped her. “Listen to me.” She wiped away a tear that slid down Allison’s cheek. “There is no reason for you to feel guilty. It’s normal to live your life after a loved one dies. We live and we die. Trent’s in town. He’s your friend. Enjoy being around him. Even if nothing comes from it, you’re enjoying life again.”

  Allison sighed and half smiled, then wrapped her arms around Emily. “Thanks.”

  ***

  Allison climbed into bed that night and closed her eyes. Before she knew it, she lay on her back staring up into a blue sky, tops of trees outlining her vision. Rick lay beside her, holding her hand in his. “Beautiful.” She said, as the calm settled over her.

  “Very.”

  They laid in the soft grass in silence. She wondered if this could be her new reality. Could they have a new life in this beautiful world?

  As if reading her mind, Rick said. “I need to know you’ll be happy.”

  She rolled over and propped her head up in the palm of her hand. He turned his head to look at her, and they stared into each other’s eyes. How could I ever look into someone else’s eyes like this? I will never love someone as much as him.

  A tear fell from her eye. “I went dancing.”

  “Did you have fun?”

  “Yeah.” She looked up through her lashes. “Someone made a pass at me.”

  “Not surprised. You’re beautiful.” He brushed some hair out of her face.

  She looked at him, trying to figure out if he was pulling her leg. Shouldn’t he be upset? She sat up facing him. “Did you hear me right?”

  “Yes.” He sat up too, taking both of her hands in his. “I want you to be happy again.”

  She looked down at their hands with watery eyes. “Don’t you love me anymore?”

  “Honey, I love you more than anything and always will.”

  “Then why are you trying to get rid of me? You can come to me. This could be our new life.”

  “No, honey. I’m dead.” He raised her hands to his lips and kissed each one. “I’m worried about you and came back to help you move on. I want you to be happy.”

  “You make me happy.”

  “You are a strong, beautiful and intelligent woman. It hurts me to see you not being you. You stepped up and took care of our kids. Now take care of yourself.”

  “The kids aren’t ready.”

  “Don’t worry about the kids. They’ll be fine.” Rick reached out and touched the side of her face. Allison leaned into his hand. “You held everything together for everyone else. Do something for yourself.”

  “What?” She whispered not wanting to hear the answer.

  “Let me go.”

  Eleven

  Trent opened the door to his motel room and emptied his pockets onto the desk next to the TV. Taking his bag of food over to the table he opened it, taking in the aroma of the roast beef sandwich. He’d thought about going to a sit-down restaurant and getting a well cooked meal instead of fast food, but didn’t want to sit alone.

  Going in on a Sunday afternoon, he’d spent a good six hours going through paperwork. He had to make sure everything was running smoothly. This was his chance to make a good impression on the big bosses and hopefully move up in the company.

  The best scenario would be to prove himself enough to be able to move to Lincoln and work from home, commuting back and forth when needed. He’d win Allison over and start a new life with her.

  Impressing the bosses was in motion, now he just needed to get going with the second part of his plan. He shoved the last bite of his meal in his mouth and gathered up the trash. Throwing away the remains of his dinner, he snatched up his phone. He wouldn’t chicken out this time. He sat at the end of the bed. If his plan was to succeed, he had to make the call.

  He took a breath to even his voice, as the first ring sounded.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Allison. This is Trent.” His stomach flipped, thinking about the question he’d ask her. He felt like he was back in high school. She was out of his league then. Maybe she still was.

  “Hi. Good to hear from you. How’s Lincoln treating you?”

  “Great. It’s like I never left.”

  “I guess that means you should visit more often.”

  “Yes, I should.” He hoped that was his opening. “Would you like to get lunch with me tomorrow? We can catch up.”

  “Sure, that would be great.”

  She answered quickly. That’s a good sign. “How about Village Inn? The one on “O” Street?”

  “Wonderful. I can meet you there at noon.”

  “See you there.” Ending the call, he mentally checked off step one. He didn’t want to scare her away. He hoped she was actually ready to move on. To see as more than a friend.

  Pushing off the bed he leaned over and reached for the remote. The clicking of the doorknob being twisted caused him to look in that direction. Trent watched as the handle moved slightly up, then slowly down. Someone was trying to get in.

  He approached the door as quite as he could move and gazed out through the peephole. A person was hunched over so Trent couldn’t see a face. Through the distorted glass he couldn’t get a good look seeing only that the figure wore a grey hoodie and didn’t appear to be very big. A small container was pulled out of the person’s pocket.

  “Who’s out there?” He yelled through the door. The person froze, but didn’t stand straight. “I know you’re out there. I can see you. What do you want?”

  Staying low, whoever it was looked from one side of the hall to the other.

  “Answer me, or I’ll call the police.”

  The person suddenly ran down the hall. “Whoa!” Trent flung the door open and followed. He looked up in time to see the grey hoodie turn half way down the hallway, then disappeared. He ran then turned in the same place. At the stairs, Trent looked over the railing and spotted the hoodie on the next level down. “Wait!” He heard the door below being shoved open as he continued after the mysterious person.

  Trent got to the landing and yanked the do
or open. Looking from side to side, the hooded figure was down the hall heading towards the side exit. He continued his pursuit, but the person reached the door to the outside and pushed through.

  When Trent got to the door he pushed it open and stood in the doorway looking for the person, but didn’t see anyone running. He stood there scanning the area for a moment then heard a moan from the inside.

  Turning, he saw a woman around his age laying against the wall. He kneeled next to her as she moaned again. “Are you okay?”

  Supporting her, he helped her sit up as she opened her eyes. “Maybe.” Her hand went to the back of her head. “Ow. I think someone hit me.”

  Trent helped her stand and made sure her footing was good before letting go. “Can I look?”

  The woman nodded and turned bringing her hand up to where she hurt. Carefully Trent moved the hair. “There’s no blood, but you have a good sized knot back here. What happened?”

  “I was coming in the door when a pain in the back of my head exploded. The next thing I remember is you.”

  He didn’t have any proof, but his gut told him the individual messing around at his door was behind this. “We should get you looked at and report this.” He led her towards the front desk. He racked his brain trying to come up with a reason for someone to do that. He didn’t have a high profile job. There were no top secret files to steal. None of the events that just occurred made sense. They must have gotten the wrong room.

  ***

  Allison pushed end on her phone and stared at the screen. Turning around she felt like she was bursting at the seams. She had to tell someone. Rick thought the kids were ready, but she wasn’t so sure.

  She dialed Emily. “Hello?”

  “I’m not going to be able to meet you for lunch tomorrow.” She couldn’t contain the excitement in her voice.

  “What, you gonna play hooky?”

  “Trent called and asked me to lunch!” She giggled like a school girl. Where did that come from?