Spiral of Need

by Suzanne Wright

  Straightening to her full height, Kathy flicked her short brown hair away from her face. “I haven’t forgotten.” Her gaze returned to Ally. “But I also haven’t forgotten that my daughter almost lost her mate because of a Seer. The bitch lied to him, told him that his true mate was a whole other female—gave him a false description of everything. She did it so she could have Marcus for herself. Luckily for Roni, it didn’t work. Are you even listening to me?”

  Ally double-blinked. “I was. A little. But then I got distracted by the hairs on your chin.” Hearing choking noises, she noticed that Kent was patting a coughing Eli’s back pretty hard.

  Kathy pointed at her. “Don’t think it’s okay for you to insult me just because you’re under Derren’s protection. My Roni won’t stand for it, and she could easily take you any day of the week.”

  Derren wasn’t too sure of that. Roni was lethal, but he’d seen how fast Ally moved. She had seriously good reflexes. If nothing else, she would be able to hold off Roni. He’d thought Ally would bristle at Kathy’s words—it was not only an insult but an oblique threat. Instead, she seemed mildly amused yet also on the verge of boredom. He was quickly learning that he should never “expect” anything when it came to Ally. She wasn’t easy to read or predict. “Enough, Kathy,” he told her firmly.

  The woman ignored his warning. “I’m just making my point that I don’t trust Seers.”

  Ally smiled gently. “Admitting your problem is the first step to recovery.”

  For a moment, Kathy said nothing—apparently words had failed her. Derren could attest to the fact that that didn’t happen often. Then, muttering under her breath, Kathy took her seat. Derren turned to Ally. “You won that round.”

  Ally simply shrugged, hiding her frustration. She should be used to the prejudice by now, but it never ceased to grate on her nerves. In between bites of breakfast, the Mercury wolves talked between themselves. Everyone but Shaya purposely excluded Ally from the conversation. Their collective rejection was causing her head to pound.

  She had just finished eating when Nick walked in with Willow in his arms. His stride faltered at the sight of Ally, but he gave a slight nod—it was one of acknowledgment as opposed to one of greeting. Still, Ally returned it. To offend Nick would be to offend Shaya, and Ally liked the Alpha female.

  Taking the infant from Nick, Shaya cuddled her. “Feeling any better, angel?”

  That was when Ally noticed how pale and tired the little girl looked as she chewed hard on a toy. “What’s wrong with her?”

  “She’s just teething, but it’s not a pleasant time for babies.”

  “Let me help.” Ally gently cradled Willow’s face, pushing some healing energy into the infant. Through the same link Ally had just opened, Willow’s pain traveled to her. “There.” Drawing back, Ally smiled at the baby, who tugged on her hair with a chuckle.

  “What did you do?” There was no tension in Shaya . . . unlike the others, who had turned stiff as boards the moment Ally had touched Willow. Like she’d ever hurt a child.

  “Took the pain away.” Ally cupped her own jaw then, wincing. “It really does hurt.”

  Derren spoke then. “So, whenever you heal someone, their pain becomes yours?” His wolf didn’t like the idea of her in pain.

  “Yes, but it eases off pretty quickly. There. It’s already gone.”

  Bracken put down his fork. “Okay, I gotta ask . . . what’s it like having a sociopath for a mate?”

  “And now we’re done.” Shaya rose to her feet. “How about a tour, Ally?” The Alpha female shot Bracken a withering look.

  The enforcer raised his hands. “It was just a question.”

  Derren asked Shaya, “Can the tour wait till after lunch? I have some things to do this morning.”

  “You don’t need to come with us.” Shaya gently handed Willow back to Nick.

  “Ally’s under my protection while she’s here.”

  “She’s not going to come to any harm with me. And I’m pretty sure she can take care of herself anyway.”

  Pushing to her feet, Ally smiled at Shaya, thankful for the vote of confidence. “I’m ready when you are.” Derren looked as though he might object again, so Ally rolled her eyes—earning herself a growl. How grand.

  “Wait,” said Derren. “Give me your cell.”

  Ally frowned. “Why?”

  “Because I need to put my number in it.” She was under his protection now, and that meant he’d have to be there if she needed him. With a shrug, she handed him her phone. He keyed in his number, then used her cell to call his phone, which effectively gave him her number. “Done.” She was careful not to touch him as she took the phone from his hand, and that had his wolf baring his teeth in annoyance. “If there’s a problem, call me.”

  If there were a problem, Ally would take care of it herself. Dominant females always dealt with their own shit. Rather than argue, she said, “Sure.”

  First, Shaya gave Ally a tour of the main lodge, showing her the bedrooms, the game room, the luxurious bathroom, and finally the basement—which had an indoor swimming pool and bar.

  “No one’s used it since Roni almost drowned,” said Shaya. “It’s a long story. To sum it up, we had some trouble with a jackal pack; they invaded our territory, and Roni battled with the Alpha. He tried to drown her. Marcus still hasn’t quite gotten over it.”

  “And I’ll meet them in a few days?”

  “Yes, they split their time between here and my best friend’s pack, since that’s where Marcus is from. We share him and Roni with the Phoenix Pack. You heard of it?”

  “I’ve heard of the Alphas. The Alpha female was latent for most of her life, wasn’t she?” It was unheard of.

  “That’s right. Taryn’s wolf surfaced later.” It was said with utter pride. “Do you think the Collingwood Betas will give you any more problems?”

  “No.” Unfortunately, she didn’t sound totally convinced, and Shaya picked up on it.

  “But?”

  “But Derren does.”

  “Let’s hope he’s wrong. Though Derren rarely ever is. It’s kind of annoying. Come on, there’s more to see.”

  Shaya guided Ally around Mercury Pack territory, showing her the land, the borders, where each of the lodges were, and the gorgeous waterfall. As they walked, Shaya told her all about the roots of the pack, where each of the members came from, and how Nick had come to blood with the Phoenix Alpha male.

  Just before lunch, they came upon Derren training the enforcers—all five of the males were wearing only their jeans, revealing sets of very impressive abs.

  “They sure are easy on the eyes,” commented Ally with a sigh.

  Shaya smiled. “Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I would never be attracted to another guy now that I’m mated. But that doesn’t mean I’m blind.”

  Her wolf watched, curious and impressed, as Derren dueled with Zander. Although Zander was incredibly fast, he couldn’t evade Derren’s reach. Still, it wasn’t an easy win for Derren, who then took a quick break to take a drink from one of the water bottles on the ground. At that moment, his gaze—dark, heated, and brooding—landed on Ally. Her skin burned under the weight of that gaze, her insides twisted with need, and her mouth dried up.

  Oh, help. It simply wasn’t fair.

  “Ah, shit!” cursed someone, his voice nasal. It was Bracken, Ally quickly realized—she was glad for the distraction.

  Laughing, Shaya said to Eli, “You broke his nose again?”

  Eli didn’t look the least bit repentant. “He was irritating me.”

  With a sigh, Ally approached. “Let me help.” Bracken regarded her like she was a ticking bomb. She arched a challenging brow, poking at his pride, daring him to back away.

  The enforcer rolled his shoulders, rising to the challenge. “All right.”

  She gripped his nose . . . and then snapped it back into place.

  He stumbled backward, shouting, “Fuck!” Stunned, he glared at Ally.

/>   She shrugged one shoulder. “I said I’d help. I didn’t say I’d heal you.”

  Eli laughed. “She got you there, Bracken.”

  Realizing he’d been had, Bracken . . . smiled at her. Smiled? Weird. But then, dominant male wolves often were.

  “Come on,” Shaya chuckled, nudging Ally gently with her elbow. She didn’t mind the touch. Shaya was a soothing, calming person to be around. But Ally sensed that the Alpha could be dangerous if the situation called for it.

  Resisting the urge to take one last look at Derren, Ally turned and followed Shaya. “Tour done?”

  “Yes, and I have to get back to Willow. It’s almost time for lunch anyway. You coming?”

  Ally gave her a wan smile. “I’ll be honest with you, Shaya, it’s unlikely I’ll spend much time at your lodge.”

  The Alpha female practically pouted. “Why? Is it because the pack was so shitty toward you this morning? I would have interfered, but I didn’t think you’d appreciate it—that would have made you look weak.”

  “It would have, and I’m glad you let me deal with it myself. But it’s not about their behavior. This is their pack, their home, and they have every right to feel how they feel.” Even if it did offend and frustrate her. “Part of being a Seer is being highly empathetic. Having all those negative emotions streaming at me physically hurt—not to mention pissed off my wolf.”

  Shaya’s shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for. You’ve been great, and I’m really thankful that you’ve been so welcoming. But I can’t spend much time around the pack without hurting. And it’s not fair to them either. They shouldn’t have to feel so uncomfortable in their own home.”

  “They’ll come around.”

  Doubtful. “Until then, I’ll be mostly at my lodge, which is no hardship at all. I really do love it.”

  “Okay. But I’ll come by every day. I’ll need to bring fresh stock for your fridge anyway.”

  Ally smiled. “Be sure to bring Willow.”

  “I will.”

  “Now go see your beautiful baby girl.”

  As they parted ways, Ally headed back to her lodge. Well, it wasn’t her lodge, it was just her designated guest lodge but, hey, it was a conversation she was having with herself, so she could be as possessive of the place as she wanted.

  Finally there, she did what she often did when she had lots of crap on her mind: she cooked. It relaxed her, was a creative outlet that soothed all her senses and took her away from her worries.

  It was Cain’s youngest uncle, Sam, who had taught Ally how to cook. And how to hotwire a car and escape zip ties. Cain’s uncles, all four still unmated . . . well, they hadn’t really known what to do with a little girl. Their version of raising her had been to teach her “important life skills.”

  By the time she was eleven, she knew how to drive, how to skin animals, how to pick a lock, and how to brew beer. She could also reel off the military alphabet and speak Russian, Spanish, Italian, German, and Mandarin. Surprisingly enough, most of it had come in handy at some point.

  Once her beef stir-fry was done, Ally took her meal outside and settled on the porch step that overlooked the lake. At total contrast to her morning meal, the atmosphere was calm and peaceful, with only the sounds of the forest to break up the silence.

  After a few minutes, there was rustling in the grass. She couldn’t help frowning at the sight of a large gray wolf cautiously approaching, nostrils flaring. Taking in his scent, she realized it was Bracken. Stopping a few feet away, his eyes glued to her plate, he licked his lips.

  She rolled her eyes. “Typical male.” She flung him a chunk of beef. “Now go.” He did, but only moments later another gray wolf appeared, this one broader. Jesse, her senses told her. She grumbled, “You’re all the same.” She threw him a chunk of meat, and he snapped his jaws around it before running off. That was when a third wolf appeared; he was a mix of brown and gray. Zander. “Do you guys have no shame?” With a growl, she threw him a piece of beef too. “No more. Go.”

  Done with her lunch, she went inside to fetch the plate of cookies she’d baked. It was as she resettled on the step that the three wolves reappeared, side by side. “Oh, for God’s sake.”

  When Derren arrived at the main lodge for lunch, he was surprised to find no sign of Ally. He’d figured she’d accompany Shaya there after the tour. When he was halfway through his lunch and she still hadn’t appeared, he was about to call her cell. But then Shaya suddenly spoke.

  “Ally’s not coming.”

  Confused, Derren echoed, “She’s not coming?”

  “She said she probably won’t spend much time over here.”

  Bracken stopped with his glass halfway to his mouth. “Why?”

  “Because you’re all so cold and mean that it physically hurts to be around you.” Shaya shot them all disappointed looks.

  Swallowing hard, Bracken looked kind of guilty. “It hurts her?”

  “Negative emotions cause Seers pain,” explained Shaya.

  “Wow.” Jesse blinked. “I didn’t know that.”

  “It’s for the best that she sticks to the guest lodge,” said Kathy, refilling Zander’s glass. “Something wrong with your food?” She glanced at Bracken and Jesse. “You two haven’t eaten much either.”

  Scratching the back of his neck, Bracken admitted, “We might have binged on beef and cookies before we got here.”

  “Ally makes these giant chocolate chip cookies and, good God, they almost brought tears to my eyes.” Jesse’s groan was close to orgasmic.

  Zander nodded slowly, smiling almost dreamily. “They were really good.”

  “The beef was cooked to perfection,” proclaimed Bracken, a faraway look in his eyes.

  “So she’s handy in the kitchen, is she?” asked Kathy sharply.

  Wide-eyed, Bracken spluttered. “Of course she’s not as good as you.” Kathy just huffed. The moment the woman had turned around, he mouthed, “Ally’s cooking is way better.”

  “I heard that, Bracken!”

  He gaped at Kathy’s back. “I didn’t say anything!”

  Eli chuckled. “Mom has eyes in the front, back, and sides of her head.”

  Shaya looked at Nick, who was feeding Willow some kind of disgusting mush that she shockingly appeared to be enjoying. “Don’t you care that your attitude put Ally in pain?”

  Nick glanced at her sideways. “I didn’t know it would hurt her, but I can’t help how I feel.”

  “She healed our daughter. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  “Yeah, it does. And I’m grateful, Shay. But one little deed isn’t going to change how I feel about Seers.”

  Leaving the Alpha pair to dispute the matter while the rest of the pack offered their opinions here and there, Derren finished his meal and headed for Ally’s lodge. Just to check on her, he told himself. It had nothing to do with the fact that his wolf was hounding him to go to her. Nothing to do with the fact that Derren himself wanted to see her . . . just because.

  When his knock on the front door went unanswered, he rounded the lodge and found her lounging in the hammock listening to her iPod. Tuning everything out? Her scent twined around him, making his cock twitch to life.

  Turning off the music, she asked, “Everything okay?”

  Since her T-shirt had ridden up a little, flashing him a view of the swirly tattoo on her navel—no, it wasn’t okay at all. He found himself wanting to trace it with his tongue. “Shaya told me you plan to hole up here.”

  “I figure that’ll make it easier for everyone.”

  Derren knew it wouldn’t be easy for her at all. Shifters were tactile creatures; social and sexual touch was important to them. Going without it wasn’t good for their mental state, particularly that of their animals. “That’ll be tough on you, and you know it.”

  Her tone dry, she said with a sweet smile, “Yeah, life will be so very hard and depressing without you . . . it will be almost the s
ame as having you around.” His eyes narrowed dangerously, but his mouth curved in amusement. “It’s not like I’ll be totally alone all the time. Shaya will come see me. Being around her doesn’t hurt.”

  Guilt began to bloom inside him. He didn’t want to hurt her. In fact, everything in him recoiled at the idea. And knowing that just being in close proximity caused her pain . . . it made him feel like a bastard.

  “Tell me why you hate me, Derren.”

  The words shocked him. He liked hearing her say his name, which made absolutely no sense. “I don’t hate you.” He wanted to, because it would mean he could shake off his attraction to her.

  “I’ll rephrase: Why do you hate my kind?”

  He didn’t want to talk about it, but he found himself explaining, “Let’s just say I never would have ended up in juvie if my old pack’s Seer hadn’t lied about a vision, turned my entire pack against me, and then stood up in a human court and testified against me.”

  So much pain and anger—it was like ice picks embedded in her lungs, and it made Ally’s wolf whine to see him that way. Although she didn’t know just what lie the Seer had told, Ally could understand the depth of Derren’s rage. She’d heard from Cain exactly what juvie was like.

  “You have no rights in there,” Cain had told her. “No say in your life, no privacy, no place to run as a wolf, no one to care if you live or die. If you can’t defend yourself, if you can’t fight, you’ll never survive it. If the guards don’t get ahold of you and have their sick idea of fun with you, the other prisoners might, especially if you break the ‘prisoner code.’ No one gets out of there whole, Ally. No one.”

  Who wouldn’t be angry to have been through that, to have lost so much of their youth? To have been trapped in a place where they were always watching over their shoulder, where they’d been hurt over and over by the guards who were supposed to maintain order? Add in that Derren hadn’t deserved any of it, had carried the blame for something he hadn’t done, and it was no wonder there was so much pain, anger, and darkness in him.