Spiral of Need

by Suzanne Wright

  Roni went nose to nose with Rachelle. “If you do, I’ll come for you. Whether Ally’s staying with our pack or not, I’ll come for you. I’m the last person you want tracking you down.”

  Fear oozed from Rachelle and slithered over Ally. She couldn’t blame Rachelle for being afraid. She should be, since Roni was absolutely lethal and meant every word. Ally often sparred with the female enforcer, so she knew exactly how tough and brutal she could be. Not to mention vengeful.

  Only once Rachelle had nodded as much as Roni’s grip would allow did the female enforcer release her. Instantly, Roni and Marcus escorted a panting, red-faced Rachelle outside.

  As Eli and Bracken began to lead Zeke away, Derren glared at the Beta. “Same goes for you. Stay away from Ally.”

  “We wanted to make things right,” swore Matt, shaking his head sadly.

  “Maybe you did,” allowed Nick, who was acting as Matt’s escort. “But your Beta female didn’t. She’s made things even worse for you.” And Cain would most likely go apeshit.

  “Ally, I’m truly sorry for what happened today.” Matt held up his hands when Nick growled. “All right, I’m leaving.”

  Derren went to Ally’s side and tucked her hair behind her ear. “You okay, baby?”

  Hearing that, Zeke’s head whipped to face them. “Is he the reason why you haven’t been answering my calls?”

  Ally replied tonelessly, “I’ve been ignoring them because we have nothing at all to say to each other.”

  “And you”—Shaya jabbed her finger into Zeke’s chest as she planted herself in front of him—“you’re even worse than your mate. You think it’s not obvious why you came here today? You miss Ally. You want her back in your pack because you want to keep her close to you all the time. You can’t let go of her, even though you’re mated and your feelings for Ally have dulled. When you care for someone, it’s hard to switch it off—I get that. But trying to keep her near when you’re mated to someone else is selfish and cruel.”

  Zeke didn’t say anything, but his shoulders sagged slightly.

  “Stop calling Ally,” Derren rumbled. “She isn’t yours anymore. Got me?”

  The Collingwood Beta didn’t answer, just let Eli and Bracken take him outside. Needing to see the threats to Ally leave their territory, needing that assurance they were no longer in close proximity to her, Derren followed them and sidled up to Nick. Only once the Collingwood wolves drove over the border did Derren’s wolf settle.

  Eli and the enforcers returned to the main lodge. Derren was just about to follow when Nick’s voice stopped him.

  “This isn’t just fucking to you. Possessiveness is stamped all over your face whenever you look at Ally. You care about her, don’t you?”

  Yeah, Derren did. It was unexpected, since he wasn’t the type to connect with people. But what was more unexpected was that he didn’t regret or fear it. She was prickly, defensive, very cautious, and had a smart mouth—all of which he found kind of cute. Making her more appealing to him, she was strong, dependable, trustworthy, dangerous, brooked no bullshit, and helped others with no strings attached. It was a complex combination that fascinated him. “I’m keeping her.”

  Nick didn’t seem surprised. “Does she know this?”

  “After what happened at the Collingwood Pack, she’s a little skittish.” She didn’t want to watch her partner find his true mate and leave her again. What Ally didn’t understand was that Derren couldn’t let her go, not for anyone. He’d chosen her. Marked her. She was his now. He’d need to make it clear he was serious without piling too much pressure on her. The problem was that Derren was too possessive of her to be subtle.

  “So you want her to stay, be part of the pack?”

  Derren arched a brow. “Is that a problem?”

  “After what she did for Shaya and Roni, of course not. I owe her. Besides, I like Ally. She makes you live your own life. You’ve been my shadow for too damn long. Just because I saved your life doesn’t mean you owe me yours. Being my Beta and protecting my family is enough.”

  “I didn’t protect you at the funeral.” He’d only thought of Ally.

  “Because your loyalties are divided now. That’s not a bad thing, Derren. A guy’s female should always come first to him.” Nick folded his arms across his chest. “Cain isn’t going to like you being with Ally, whether he wants to claim her or not.”

  “He’ll just have to fucking deal with it.” Derren’s wolf growled his agreement. Cain had an attachment to Ally and cared for her in his way, but that was all Cain was capable of feeling. Derren could give her more than Cain ever could. “The main problem won’t be him, it’ll be convincing Ally to stay. She likes to pack-trot.” She’d obviously never felt truly settled anywhere. He’d have to work on changing that.

  Nick snorted. “While you have Shaya on your side, it shouldn’t be as hard as you think. Shaya adores her, and she doesn’t want her to leave. Do you think Ally will be open to imprinting?”

  “Maybe.” But maybe not. He wasn’t exactly a prince fucking charming. Wasn’t smooth or easy to be around like Marcus. He doubted there was a person on the planet who could love him as he was. Also, being Beta meant that a lot of his time was taken up by his job, which was something that could make a female feel neglected.

  Yeah, the chances of Ally choosing to imprint with him were slim. But those chances were still there. And he’d damn well take them.

  “What if Cain gets here and says he’s changed his mind and decides to claim her?” asked Nick.

  “I won’t step aside.” There was no going back for either him or Ally. As far as Derren was concerned, Cain had missed his chance. Derren wasn’t noble enough to give him another shot with Ally.

  “Not even if she wants you to?”

  “Not even then.”

  So when she woke up that night, fear in her eyes, Derren was there for her again, making her forget her nightmare and cry out his name. Afterward, he brushed his thumb along her jaw. “I’m keeping you, Ally Marshall.” And she’d just have to accept it, because he wouldn’t let her go. “You’re mine.”

  Startled and spooked by that very sincere announcement that almost sounded . . . binding, Ally didn’t speak for a moment. “Yours?”

  “All mine. You got under my skin, became my obsession. There’s no going back.”

  She swallowed nervously. “What do you want from me?”

  “Everything you have to give. And I’ll get it.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Cain’s not your mate, is he?”

  Ally froze at Shaya’s words. It hadn’t been a question; it had been a sure statement. Sitting on the rug of Ally’s living area with Willow, Ally peered up at Shaya, who was lounging on the sofa. “How did you find out?”

  “I’ve suspected it for a while now. See, Nick didn’t claim me straightaway. The sexual cravings nearly drove me insane, and it was physically painful for him to resist the urge to mate. Even from day one, you never seemed to be suffering from any of that. Still, I wondered if the reason the mating urge hadn’t come into place for you and Cain was that he’s just not capable of any kind of connection. But if nothing else, you should have lamented that you’d never have your true mate. Believing Nick would never claim me made me feel dead inside. You never gave any indication that you were hurting.”

  “Derren assumed Cain was my mate, and I didn’t correct him,” Ally confessed. “I figured I’d be less likely to be targeted by members of your pack if people thought Cain was my mate.”

  There was no judgment on Shaya’s face. “Understandable. Does Derren know the truth now?”

  “No.” Ally flinched as Willow whacked her leg with a rattle—apparently the pup didn’t feel that Ally was paying her enough attention.

  Shaya chuckled at Willow’s antics before continuing. “You should tell him. You don’t need to keep up the pretense now. The entire pack accepts you. They’ll protect you with their lives after all you’ve done for us.”

>   “I’ve tried to tell him.” Ally pressed a button on the baby’s wolf toy, making it howl. Willow chuckled in delight. “He cuts me off whenever I even mention Cain.”

  “That’s probably because he’s so possessive and determined to keep you.”

  “Yeah. I figured that. That’s something I never saw coming.” She hadn’t thought he would ever feel that way about her. Although it had spooked her, it didn’t scared her to the extent that she wanted to end the relationship. Self-preservation dictated that she leave him, but an ache built in her chest whenever she envisioned doing so. Her wolf went batshit crazy at the idea of leaving.

  “How do you feel about it?” asked Shaya.

  “Torn. A big part of me wants to see where things can go, but there’s the problem that I don’t know how he feels. I know he wants me to be with him, I know he’s possessive. But he’s never given me any indication that he cares for me.”

  Ever since his “I want everything from you and will get it” declaration a few weeks ago, he’d been focused on Ally so intensely and overwhelmingly that it was enough to unbalance her. But it was also a little heady having someone’s complete attention on her. Still, being “obsessed” with her and caring for her were two different things.

  Shaya snorted softly. “It’s obvious that he cares for you. Derren’s possessive of you to an extent that I didn’t think he was capable of. He never stops touching you, is super protective of you. And he told Nick weeks ago that he intends to convince you to become part of our pack permanently—which I fully support, by the way. Derren’s not reckless or impulsive. He thinks things through. If he’s made this choice to keep you, then he’s one hundred percent sure he means to imprint with you.”

  Derren hadn’t mentioned imprinting to Ally, but for their relationship to be permanent they would need to eventually imprint on each other. Sure, there were shifter couples that didn’t go down the imprinting route. But such a relationship never lasted, because their inner wolves would only be satisfied with total commitment on every level—physically, sexually, and emotionally. If they didn’t get it, their wolves would sooner or later withdraw from the weak relationship and fight their human side for more.

  Shaya crossed one leg over the other. “How do you feel about Derren?”

  “Look, I’m a very self-aware person. I know I have plenty of flaws. I know I’m not very forthcoming when it comes to feelings or my past. I have constant nightmares and prefer sleeping outside in my hammock. I cook when I’m stressed—even if I’m not hungry or it’s three o’clock in the morning. Being a Seer, feeling people’s emotions all the time, means I sometimes get struck by a sensory overload, and so I’ll have my days when I need space, time, and privacy.

  “Derren is a very dominant, forceful, intrusive male who thinks my business is his and who is determined to have his own way all the time. But even though he pushes me to tell him things, he never pushes too hard—he shares with me so that I’ll share with him. Even though he doesn’t like any distance between us, he lets me have my space and privacy when I need it. And even though he very rarely gets a peaceful night’s sleep because of me, he never complains or sleeps anywhere but beside me. How can I not care about the fucker?”

  Shaya smiled. “It annoys you that he’s dug deep and made a place for himself in your life, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes, because I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t think I even had the ability to let someone get that close to me again. Not after what happened with Zeke. But Derren wormed his way in.”

  “Derren can be sneaky and subtle in working to get what he wants.”

  Ally handed Willow one of her plush bears. “When Zeke set me aside, it stung even though I respected his mating. I think the worst part of it was that the rest of the pack set me aside too. I lost everything all at once. But I know that if Derren set me aside, it would hurt me more than all of that did. I don’t think I’d recover.”

  “Aw, sweetie, you don’t see it, do you?” Shaya came to sit next to Ally on the rug. “Derren’s typically a hard person to understand. I’m not sure that anyone other than Nick and you can claim to really know him. But I do know that trusting others is something Derren finds extremely difficult to do. Trust is a lot more important to him than any other feelings. And he trusts you. That’s huge for him. You’ve become important to him. Important enough that he’s chosen you over his true mate. Don’t run from that. Hold tight to it.”

  Shaya’s advice stayed with Ally all day. And as Ally ate her evening meal she had to admit, even if only to herself, that she couldn’t run from this thing she had with Derren. She didn’t even want to. She cared too much for this person who trusted, respected, protected—though she didn’t need it—and accepted her despite all her faults.

  Walking away from him, pissing all over what they had, would not only hurt both of them but make her a coward. She’d never been a coward. Just because he might not care for her now didn’t mean he couldn’t grow to feel that way, did it?

  “Where are you, baby?”

  Pulled out of her thoughts by Derren’s voice, Ally blinked at him. “Woolgathering.”

  His expression called her a liar. “Ready to leave?”

  She blinked. “Already?” They hadn’t had dessert yet.

  “Yes, already.”

  Figuring he must want to talk about something without an audience, she rose from her seat. Having said their good-byes, they walked out into the warm evening. Without breaking stride he gripped her wrist, twirled her to face him, and yanked her against his body—forcing her to walk backward. “What’s wrong?” she asked. He seemed surprised by the question.

  “Nothing at all.”

  Ally slipped her arms under his and grabbed the back of his shoulders. “Then why did you want to get me out of there so fast?”

  “I’ve hardly seen you today. I wanted to be alone with you. And I was close to hitting Bracken for flirting with you.” Of course Derren knew that the enforcer would never poach. Unlike Dominic, he didn’t take the flirting too far. But it was still irritating at times. “I don’t share.”

  “Really? But you’re not in the least bit possessive,” she mocked.

  “Such a little smart-ass.”

  A very un-Ally-like squeal left her as he abruptly slung her over his shoulder. “Hey! Put me down!”

  Derren spanked her ass before giving it a firm squeeze. “No.”

  “Stop spanking my ass!”

  “It’s my ass. You should know that by now.” He’d bitten and marked it enough times.

  “I mean it!” It was impossible to sound firm and outraged when she was laughing. She smacked his own ass, but he didn’t seem to care. “Derren, put me down!”

  “I don’t want to.” Hearing a familiar chime, he dug his cell out of his pocket. “Shush, baby, while I take this call.” Seeing “Unknown Number” flashing on the screen, Derren frowned. “Hello.”

  “Derren, it’s me.”

  Derren halted abruptly. Cain. Not a voice Derren wanted to hear. His good humor literally fled his body, and his wolf snarled—as far as the animal was concerned, Cain was a rival. “Hey.” The word came out guttural.

  “I heard your pack’s still having trouble.” Danger dripped from every syllable.

  Putting Ally on her feet, Derren met her knowing gaze—her shifter hearing had obviously picked up Cain’s voice. “We know who the culprit is. It’s only a matter of time before we have them.”

  “Good. How’s my Ally?”

  His wolf’s ears flattened as a loud growl rumbled out of him. The animal did not at all like Cain’s use of the word “my.” Derren didn’t like it much either. “Fine.”

  “Is she close?”

  Close? She couldn’t get much closer. “Yeah.”

  “Put her on.”

  Without a word, Derren held out the phone.

  Taking it, Ally tucked her hair behind her ear. “Hello.”

  “How are you, sweetheart?”

  A lo
w but fierce growl built in Derren’s chest at the endearment. His wolf curled back his upper lip, his anger almost palpable as his vicious temper threatened to take over.

  Ally swallowed hard. “Good.”

  “Have the Collingwood wolves bothered you since you left their pack?”

  “No. No, they’ve left me alone.” Ally ignored the way Derren’s brows lifted at the lie.

  “How are things at the Mercury Pack? Is Derren taking good care of you?”

  That was one way to put it. “I don’t need protecting.”

  Cain laughed. “How did I know you’d say that? I can’t talk long, sweetheart. But I’ll be out of here very soon. Then we’ll talk more.”

  “Okay.”

  “Put Derren back on.”

  Retrieving the cell, Derren gritted out, “Yeah?” With jealousy riding him, it took all of his control not to tell his friend to fuck off.

  “She’s lying to me,” growled Cain. “The Collingwood fuckers have been bothering her.”

  “Yes,” Derren confirmed, watching her wince at Cain’s words.

  “Don’t let any of them harm her.”

  “I won’t.” Derren would kill them before he allowed that to happen. Not for Cain, but to protect Ally.

  “I’m trusting you with her, Derren. Don’t let me down.” The line went dead.

  Let him down? Derren was pretty sure he’d let Cain down the moment he first thrust his tongue inside her mouth. Didn’t matter to him, though. It should, he knew that. But Derren needed her in a way that probably should have freaked him out. But he’d accepted it.

  Ally cleared her throat and offered Derren a weak smile. Well, that was awkward. Of course, it wouldn’t have been awkward if Derren weren’t under the impression that Cain was her mate. Trying to keep her body language casual, she proceeded toward the lodge. His words almost made her trip over her own feet.