The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O.

by Neal Stephenson

  Magnus knows perfectly well that they’re talking about him. He can’t make out one word in ten, but “viking” he knows. He’s favoring Blevins with an innocent look that I did not for one moment believe was really innocent. I saw at once what Magnus was about: for his own reasons, whatever they be, he was gulling them all into considering him dull-witted. Seeing he now has the Blevins’s attention, he taps his shoulder, and says with deliberately (it seemed to me) child-like delight, “Viking! Viking!” and makes a fist as if he’s holding an axe, and goes into a little pantomime of laying about himself as if in a battle of legendary times. And then doesn’t he laugh like a toddler.

  At this, the Blevins smirks, and says to Tristan, “He’s like that Korean guy we brought from the Silla dynasty.”

  “Who, Yeon Hyeokgeose?” says Melisande curtly. “He was developmentally challenged. He was simple.”

  “This guy’s pretty simple,” says the Blevins with a quick laugh, and gestures to Magnus as if he was a piece of furniture. And then quick as you like, I realize that Magnus has looked round at the rest of us to see our displeasure at whatever Blevins said (and he might, in hindsight, have even recognized the word simple)—and then realizing he’d just been insulted, doesn’t he smile and chuckle at the Blevins as if they were old friends.

  “He is not simple,” Tristan said. “I’ve fought in battle beside him, he is quick-witted and I know his worth.”

  “Battle’s not about brains, is it,” says the Blevins. It’s not Magnus he’s looking at when he says it, but Tristan, and I can see well enough from that what sort of history lies between these two men. “Tristan, we’re done here. Gráinne needs to be shown every kindness—whether by Erszebet or the rest of the Sea Cod Staff, it’s no concern of mine—or of yours. We’ll get her into the ATTO as soon as we can. As for Hagar the Horrible here, I suspect he’ll end up a useless drain on our resources and our hospitality. But he seems an amiable sort. Once we’re satisfied he has a decent level of impulse control—enough that we can take him off premises without causing an incident—I’ll wager he’d be susceptible to a shock and awe sort of treatment.”

  “It’s going to take a lot to shock him or awe this dude,” Tristan demurred.

  “Viking!” echoes Magnus, and wasn’t his face beaming.

  “Wait until he gets a load of modern video games,” the Blevins insisted. “We’ll get him some toys to play with, settle him down a little, and then see what he can do for us as a trainer.”

  INCIDENT REPORT

  AUTHOR: MAJ Isobel Sloane

  SUBJECT: Magnus and Gráinne

  THEATER: C/COD (present day)

  DTAP: Bio-containment ward

  FILED: Day 1880 (late September, Year 5)

  Pursuant to the Sexual Harassment Policy, information is hereunder presented about a series of incidents in the bio-containment ward involving recently arrived Anachrons Magnus and Gráinne (no last names provided). Technically these do not constitute sexual harassment per se since all activity took place between consenting adults in what they believe to be a private setting. However, DOSECOPS personnel, part of whose job is to continuously monitor the video and audio “feeds” from the room in question, have raised a number of complaints that need to be addressed.

  Without getting into overly lurid details, the basic situation is that after a few days during which she complained of fever, chills, aches, and low energy (all typical for newly arrived Anachrons going through the inoculation protocol), Gráinne has bounced back and returned to a level of vitality and vigor that, though it might be normal for her, is exceptional by our standards. Magnus, of course, had a three-day head start on her in this department, and the inoculations never seemed to make much of a dent on him anyway. They are in adjacent beds, separated only by a curtain, twenty-four hours a day. No one else is in the ward, and they are blissfully unaware of the existence of modern surveillance technology. Beginning three days ago and building from there, the two of them have been engaging in a wide range of sexual activities, as often as four times a day. These activities are quite obviously consensual, so there is no issue where that is concerned. Gráinne, as it turns out, exhibits a pattern of loud, prolonged, and repetitive vocalizations while engaging in such activities—in the vernacular, she is what is known as a “screamer.” All of this comes through in full Dolby 7.1 on the security consoles that DOSECOPS personnel are expected to monitor as a condition of their employment. While it may have had some novelty value at first, it is now to the point of posing a serious distraction at best. At worst it is creating an actively hostile work environment, particularly for female employees and for those whose religious convictions make such viewing problematic.

  Accordingly, I have muted the audio feeds from the bio-containment ward and encouraged security personnel to leave the cameras off most of the time, making occasional spot checks only. Since Gráinne and Magnus are locked in, escape is physically impossible, and since our long-suffering medical personnel are on the other side of a door, only a few yards away, with access to the no doubt spectacular bio-monitor readout infographics, there is zero chance of either of these two Anachrons suffering any kind of medical emergency without our knowing of it immediately.

  These measures, which I unilaterally placed into effect this morning after stumbling into the ops center during a particularly egregious transaction between Magnus and Gráinne, have already lifted morale among security staff and eased a tense situation. Lieutenant [name redacted], who first drew my attention to the problem, has been placed on medical leave and assigned to a counselor.

  Exchange of posts by DODO staff

  on “Department Heads” ODIN channel

  DAY 1881

  Post from LTC Tristan Lyons:

  Not to nitpick, but Gráinne’s not a “screamer” in my experience.

  Reply from Dr. Melisande Stokes:

  Could you clarify that please?

  From LTC Lyons:

  Hahaha, yes, happy to clarify (thanks, Stokes!). During various DEDEs in settings where Gráinne was engaged in sexual activity WITH OTHER PEOPLE, I did not observe the vocalizations mentioned in Sloane’s incident report.

  From Dr. Stokes:

  Maybe she simply wasn’t enjoying herself—there’s no reason a sex worker would.

  From LTC Lyons:

  Can someone tell me how to retreat from this minefield? All I’m saying is: archive the recordings even if they’re not being live-monitored.

  TRANSCRIPT (EXCERPT)

  CONVERSATION BETWEEN GRÁINNE (G)

  AND MAGNUS (M)

  DAY 1884 (LATE SEPTEMBER, YEAR 5)

  NOTES: Video recording was made automatically by a motion-activated security camera system in bio-containment ward at DODO HQ, Cambridge, MA. In the wake of subsequent events, the file was salvaged from a secure server by DODO personnel and transferred to the ad hoc GRIMNIR backup system, where it was later transcribed. Excerpt below begins at approximately 14:12 local time. Subjects are engaged in “missionary position” style coitus with faces in close contact and so audio is of low quality. Dialog is in a mishmash of languages; this is an approximate translation into modern English.

  G: I asked Erszebet about “shock and awe.”

  M: The words the Pigeon used?

  G: (slapping Magnus on the buttock) Blevins, lad. His name is Blevins.

  M: What is their meaning?

  G: ’Tis a phrase used by soldiers. From one of their sagas. A tactic to break the will of the enemy, so it is.

  M: I understand this tactic well and moreover have used it. In fact I am using it now!

  [REDACTED]

  G: Oh, there’s more. In one of their wars, didn’t they face an enemy that was poor, ill-equipped, with bad weapons and low morale. To make the war be over fast, they used many of their best weapons in a great show of force. This was shock and awe.

  M: So Erszebet thinks that the Pigeon means to use this tactic on me. To fuck my mind like I am fucking your pussy.<
br />
  G: You’re fucking my pussy? I hadn’t noticed.

  M: Notice this!

  [REDACTED]

  G: Be getting your mind off of Erszebet, now.

  M: That is difficult.

  G: Then close your pretty eyes and pretend it’s her you’re fucking.

  M: Okay. Mmm, that’s very nice!

  G: (pinches Magnus’s nipple)

  M: Bitch!

  G: Be paying attention, I’m trying to tell you something important about Blevins.

  M: I understand. But if you pinch my nipple again I’ll flip you over and give it to you up the ass and then I’ll be pinching your nipples and pulling your hair and you won’t be able to do a thing about it except moan like an alley cat.

  G: That, and reach up underneath to be grabbing you by the ball sack which is what happened when you tried that yesterday.

  M: Yes, I remember . . . or was it the day before?

  G: In any case the K-Y Jelly is right over there if you mean it.

  M: Kind of them to leave that there for us. I was going to kill that doctor when he shoved his finger up my ass but then I realized the possibilities of that substance.

  G: Yes, you could fuck me in the ass and not be seeing my face so you could imagine I was Erszebet.

  M: She makes me hot.

  G: She makes me hot and I’m not even a woman-fucking kind of woman.

  M: I’d like to see the two of you doing it!

  G: Maybe soon. Growing close aren’t we, she and I. She has much to say to me.

  M: About shock and awe?

  G: And other things. She saw the death of magic with her own eyes. Lived through it, so she did, poor lass. So we don’t just talk about your concerns, Magnus, but matters of interest to us witches.

  M: I know that, I’m not stupid.

  G: You just act that way.

  M: Yes.

  G: Keep it up.

  M: I will.

  G: Oh, and be keeping that up too!

  [REDACTED]

  Post by Dr. Roger Blevins on

  “Announcements” ODIN channel

  DAY 1890 (1 OCTOBER, YEAR 5)

  For fear of “putting a jinx” on it, we’re not having a formal ribbon-cutting ceremony this time, but I wanted to announce that ATTO #1—the first of our new, fully mobile ODECs—went “hot” this morning at 0900 sharp. I’m assured that all systems are working normally, and Gráinne—who is now out of quarantine—reports that she is able to perform magical activities inside of it as effectively as she ever could in Elizabethan London.

  Please join me in congratulating Dr. Oda on another major achievement. It is going on three years since he shifted to “Emeritus” status in the wake of the successful Chronotron launch, and some of you may have mistaken that for a dignified form of retirement. In truth his work on this project has been tireless and relentless, and a testimony to what may be achieved by a gifted mind when given the freedom to pursue its own interests unfettered by bureaucratic restrictions.

  Post by Dr. Frank Oda on

  “Announcements” ODIN channel

  DAY 1890 (1 OCTOBER, YEAR 5)

  Thanks to Dr. Blevins and to all those of you who have sent me congratulatory messages and greeted me in person today. In truth it is a bittersweet day, for I actually am now transitioning to full retirement after three years of work on the Ambient Temperature Tactical ODEC (ATTO). My full departure is still a few months away. In the meantime, here is a little more information for those of you who haven’t been following this closely.

  “Ambient Temperature” simply means that this ODEC is capable of functioning without being connected to large, expensive, finicky cryogenic systems. To make a long story short, we have achieved this by replacing the traditional superconductors with higher-temp superconductors that can be kept at the required temperature through a combination of clever insulation and solid-state Peltier coolers.

  “Tactical” is a reference to the fact that these ODECs, unlike the ones we are used to, are capable of being moved about. For simplicity’s sake, we have constructed the first production run of ATTOs in conventional, unmarked shipping containers. So this finally answers the question that has been on so many people’s minds during the last couple of years: Why is there a shipping container in Loading Bay 3 with technicians in bunny suits going in and out of it?

  Finally, “ODEC” simply means that, despite the innovations mentioned above, this is, at the end of the day, just another ODEC, i.e., an environment in which it is possible for MUONs to conduct MAGOPs. On the inside it is somewhat larger than our stationary “strategic” ODECs in the basement, but as far as the MUON is concerned, it is functionally the same.

  As to what uses the ATTOs might be put to, I’ll allow readers of this message to use their imaginations. Let’s just say that when we fired up the first ODEC some four years ago and let Erszebet go to work in it, we learned very quickly that most of the things witches are capable of were not actually that useful, from a practical standpoint, as long as they were confined to a fixed volume the size of a phone booth. We settled on Sending and Homing as the two most useful functionalities, and as you know we have constructed a large organization around that. The new ATTOs (of which we have one up and running, three in final production, and six more in the works) can do everything the old ODECs can do, but our ability to move them around the world and disguise them should enable our ever-growing staff of MUONs to practice their craft in a greater diversity of operational modalities, broadening the palette of force projection options available to our strategic leadership team as they consider how most effectively to project American soft power across time and space.

  Journal Entry of

  Rebecca East-Oda

  OCTOBER 2

  Temperature 65F—warm, fair, and dry, with slight breeze from the west. Barometer steady. Foliage turning; about nine days from peak (will be a little early this year).

  Didn’t make a journal entry yesterday because feared I couldn’t keep emotions in check.

  The day comes for every man when he has to retire. There is little point in pretending otherwise. For Frank that day was yesterday; he has already dropped to fifty percent and will taper to full retirement at the end of the year. I am a little apprehensive as to where he will find outlets for his energies when he is spending all of his time at home again, but the East House Trust can certainly put him to work on innumerable repair and improvement projects, at least for a little while.

  For the most part, he is going out on a high note with the ATTO. During the years of his first retirement, when he was living in exile from the scientific community, we were both in denial about how bad things were. Going back to productive work at DODO was the best thing in the world for him. All the politics and the mishaps tempered his enjoyment to quite a degree, but the honors he has received within the secret world of black-budget defense technology have meant the world to him.

  He announced his retirement yesterday, but his message to his colleagues was butchered by someone in Macy Stoll’s department who heaped on a lot of gibberish at the end. I can only trust that his treasured colleagues saw through it and found it amusing.

  LETTER (HANDWRITTEN) ON PERSONAL STATIONERY OF

  DR. ROGER BLEVINS TO

  LIEUTENANT GENERAL OCTAVIAN K. FRINK

  DAY 1905 (MID-OCTOBER, YEAR 5)

  Okie,

  Hope you’re enjoying the cooler weather down in DC, up here fall is on the way and the colors are starting to peak. Great football weather.

  Just wanted to drop you a note letting you know progress with our two newest Anachrons.

  Gráinne bounced back from the inoculation protocol in fine form and seems to have picked up an additional infusion of energy and high spirits from spending hours each day in the ATTO, where she has access to magic again. As you know we had a challenging battery of experiments lined up for her, all more or less in the realm of psy-ops, and after a rough patch at the beginning when she didn’t quite see t
he point of it (systematic experimentation not being a natural fit for a witch!), she buckled down to work and has been generating all sorts of interesting results. Yesterday I went into the ATTO while it was up and running and sat in on some of these procedures as an observer. There is the usual “ODEC mind fog” which nearly all modern people complain about to a greater or lesser extent, but I came away immensely impressed with Gráinne’s talents and her dedication to DODO’s mission. In retrospect, it’s a shame we kept her tucked away in Elizabethan England for so many years. She is clearly our most capable MUON, and if I may say as much without stepping over the boundaries of the sexual harassment policy, a real ornament to DODO. She doesn’t have Erszebet’s drop-dead looks but rather a kind of presence that grows on you.

  Anyway, that’s probably enough on that topic—the R&D boffins are working up some numbers on the results of our experiments that you should be able to share with all of those senators who are badgering you for the latest news on the Trapezoid’s so-called “mind control” experiments.

  Sometimes it’s a shame you’re not up here in Cambridge with us, as you miss the human side of things. Today I introduced one of our other new Anachrons to some of the wonders of the modern world. This is Magnus, whom you’ll remember as the troublesome Varangian Guard who had to be Sent forward. To judge from the alarmist reports that were flying around prior to that decision, you’d imagine him as some kind of dangerous predatory mastermind. Of course, now that he’s here, he turns out to be nothing of the sort. He’s a simple, amiable chap with a wide-eyed appreciation for everything we share with him. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side, but we think he could be a fine trainer in the Violence(s) Ethnology Department.

  To whet his appetite a bit, and air him out, I took him up to Andover for the homecoming game, which as you’ll know from the alumni newsletter we won in a fine come-from-behind effort. This was an excellent fit for his overall mentality. He isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he is enthusiastic, and after some initial confusion he understood the basics of the rules—which he likened to shield-wall combat among the Vikings. He cheered lustily for our side all the way through the game and seemed genuinely moved by the last-minute heroics. I’m able to converse with him in a mixture of Byzantine Greek, Old French, and modern English (knowing lots of half-dead obscure languages continues to have its plusses, even if it doesn’t put me in your pay grade).