Jason walks away from Remmy, looking grim. When he sees me, he smiles tightly and starts lifting free weights. I stagger to my feet and lean on the weight set, raising my eyebrows at him.
“Jason, what did you do?” I say, as if he’s a misbehaving child.
“It’s fine,” Jason mutters, grimacing as he switches to a heavier weight. “I fixed it. You’re not fighting tonight.”
“Jason…”
“I’m fighting in your place,” he mumbles. “Plus my fights. So like six. And then…”
“And then what?” I ask him, feeling very cold.
“And then I’m fighting that new guy,” Jason says quietly. He won’t look at me. He’s looking at his weight.
It’s not like Jason is some shrimp. He’s broad and packed with muscle and when I touch him, I can feel the hardness of him. I might be the best fighter around here but he’s the strongest. I think the only reason he’s not the best yet is because he hasn’t been doing it long. He’s not used to this cage fighting, he’s used to real fighting but the two aren’t the same. Regardless, even if I were at my strongest, I wouldn’t be able to take this guy. Speed and agility can only get you so far. This guy would crush me before I knew what hit me.
“You’re a masochist,” I say firmly. “Or you’re out of your mind. This guy is going to murder you. Jason, look at him! He’s a mountain! He’d probably kill you without even knowing he’s doing it!”
“It was the only way Remmy would agree to let me fight in your place,” Jason says shrugging. He’s acting like it’s no big deal. But I see his dark look. I feel like he thinks he deserves this. As if it’s fate or something. It’s seriously pissing me off.
“You can’t do six fights plus that guy,” I say fiercely. “He can’t… Shit.”
“It’s not up for debate,” Jason says. He clenches his jaw and then he just ignores me, going back to his weights. “It’s already been decided.”
I’m not going to cry in the gym in front of all these assholes. I’m not going to do it. So I get up and go to the restroom and cry in there.
I don’t even want to be here for this. I lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the toilet and cry for Jason, the stupid, brave, beautiful fucking idiot. He’s going to get himself killed and as tough as I like to think I am, I can’t stand to watch it. I can just barely hear how the crowd sounds, but through the walls it’s muted; an indiscernible occasional roar that shakes the bathroom door.
I force myself to stay in there the entire evening until after an hour, I finally drag myself upstairs, ignoring everyone in the gym. I don’t see Jason so I guess he’s in the cage in one of his six fights. I try not to look as I shove through the crowd, desperate to get outside and get some air and a cigarette. The crowd is going wild all around me and I finally turn back and look at the cage just to see Jason getting one of the regular fighters in a good submissive hold and then the bell rings for his win. I guess that’s something. But Jason looks beat-up already. His wolf sees me watching through the bars of the cage and through the cheering crowd and I get a lump in my throat again and turn away to run upstairs and away from all of this.
Outside in the chill air, I feel a little better. I light a cigarette and lean against the wall out back. The Ring is down far enough underground that you can’t hear a damn thing outside. No one walking by would have the slightest idea of the awful circus that’s happening down there.
I pace a lot, feeling jittery. Even with my sore, beaten up body, it feels a little better to move as I smoke and wait and wait and wait… I check my phone, messing around on Instagram and when I see people filing out of the building, I sigh in relief. Whatever happened, it’s over. But then I have to wait until everybody’s filed out so I’m not fighting the crowds. At least nobody is talking about anyone getting killed, although everyone looks a bit dour and not wired up like people usually are when they come back from The Ring. If I step outside of it, it’s not hard to see that Remmy’s gotten increasingly brutal and sadistic. And the crowd doesn’t like that. They cheer for Remmy because they’re expected to but I get the sense that everyone is tired of this bloody game.
When only a few people at a time are coming out, I finally go back in and make my way down the stairs. At least it’s easier going down than up. No money tonight, that’ll be rough on the pocketbook but I didn’t make much here to begin with. I’m here to pay off a debt not make money. The pocket change I usually got was incidental anyway.
Remmy is smirking at me, like the two of us have been waging a battle of wills and I won. When I see him, I wonder how Ray is doing and when he’ll be let out. Working at the diner all day, I had Ray on my mind. I want to help him, but I can’t figure out how short of taking down Remmy as alpha.
In the corner, Jason is sitting on a mat up against the wall. He looks beaten up, but it’s not too bad and I sigh in relief seeing him stagger to his feet. I was expecting to see him half- dead.
When I find him, I don’t care about whether we’re together or what he thinks he deserves. I wrap him in a careful embrace and then I wrap my arm around his waist. He’s holding his side though as we walk, the both of us slow as molasses as we make our way out.
“How did you do?” I ask him.
“Won every fight except that big asshole,” Jason mutters. “But he didn’t kill me.”
“What’s goin’ on with your flank there?” I help him up one step and he groans. This is going to take a while.
“That’s just from his hold on me,” Jason says. “At the end. I swear that shithead was about to bite clean through me just ‘cause and he’d already won.”
“Jesus, Jason…”
“He was just passing through anyway…” Jason groans again as we take another step. We don’t talk much more as we slowly climb the stairs and he has to rest a few times. Stupid building needs an elevator for times like these.
When we get outside, he wants to rest again and we lean against the wall, feeling the cold air on our faces. It gets so stuffy and hot and muggy down in The Ring. Makes a girl appreciate Alaska.
“Come home with me,” I say. I can’t make him. But I’ll always ask. As long as he’s here in Grayling, I’ll always be asking.
“Okay,” Jason says softly.
Walking to my house takes seeming forever between the two of us. But it doesn’t feel awful as I help Jason along. He’s not even complaining. The two of us just put one foot in front of the other, two fight wolves limping off home. I’m actually feeling a little better myself. I’ll probably be healed up in a couple of days. Hopefully Jason will be too.
What I really need right now is a drink. The thought of it makes me ache. A strong drink and Jason holding me. That’s the life right there.
“Somebody should take him down,” Jason mumbles, and he sighs as he finally slumps against my front door.
“Somebody should,” I say. He’s right, of course. But who’s going to do it? The lone wolf from nowhere? Why not though? I look at him pointedly. “Somebody.”
“I’m not exactly in fighting shape right now,” Jason says wryly, as we go inside. “Besides, we’ve been over this. I’ve never even heard of a lone wolf alpha. Now you on the other hand-”
“I’ve never heard of a woman alpha,” I say, tittering. “I mean not around here anyway.”
“‘Course there are woman alphas,” Jason says.
“Oh yeah?” She hangs up her coat and then helps me off with mine. “That horrible pack you come from? They have woman alphas?”
“Not in a million years,” Jason says with a snort. “But this isn’t Hardwidge.”
“Nope,” I say, nodding. I take him by the hand and lead him into the kitchen. I need to patch my boy up and get us both some liquor. Jason takes a seat, groaning a little. “It’s not Hardwidge, but it is Grayling.”
Jason leans on his hand and watches me poke around for the bottle of whiskey I know is hiding somewhere. When I finally find it, I pour us both a finger each and we clink
our glasses together before we each take a long swallow. Jason’s glass is empty, and he raises his eyebrow at me. I shake my head but pour him a little more and grab the first aid kit from the pantry, sitting down beside him.
I go about dressing the cut above Jason’s eyebrow. It’s gonna make a scar on his forehead. Somebody’s claw went a bit deep. I cluck my tongue and Jason sticks out his bottom lip, pouting a little as I dote over him. It makes him look like a little boy.
“Yeah, it’s Grayling,” Jason says, taking another sip. He sets his glass down and raises his eyes to meet mine and when he pulls me onto his lap, my breath catches. Yes, I think to myself. Yes, please. “It’s Grayling,” he says softly. “And you’re the toughest fighter in town. And you’re a good leader too. You’re always helping people and putting assholes in their place. You should be alpha.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” I murmur. I’m trying to lift his shirt so I can see how bad his side is, but he grabs my arm and pulls me forward into a kiss. I moan into his mouth and drop the ice pack I was going to give him, wrapping my arms around him instead as I sit there on his lap. We both taste like cigarettes and whiskey and I don’t care, it’s perfect, it’s flawless. I’ve never been a sappy type but I love this man. I try to pour all the love I feel into his mouth and something happens because he holds me tighter and his kiss becomes even more heated. He sucks on my tongue and pulls back with heavy-lidded eyes to slowly pull on my bottom lip before following with wet little kisses, his hand idly coming up to palm my breast. When we finally part, he rests his forehead against mine. I need him in my bed tonight. I don’t care how sore we are.
“I’m being logical,” Jason whispers sulkily.
I kiss him once more, sweetly. “You can be whatever you want, as long as you keep kissing me like that. Don’t ever stop.”
Jason pulls away and I think I’ve fucked it up, made it too real. But then he’s cradling my face in his hands, looking deep into my eyes. “I keep trying but I can’t... “
My eyes well up and I actually start trembling, thinking he’s about to tell me yet again that we can never be together. I can’t take hearing it again. I can’t take watching him walk away. We’re mates, it’s true as the sky is blue. He can leave forever and I’ll still want him. It’s too late now. We’re bonded for life.
“Don’t,” I say, brokenly. “Please don’t…” My tears fall from my eyes and slide down his cheeks and our breath mingles.
“I keep trying but I can’t stop loving you,” Jason whispers. “I can’t deny you. I love you, Carrie. You’re my mate.”
Then I really start crying and Jason holds me tight. “Don’t walk away again,” I tell him, sniffing and crying into his shoulder. “Please don’t walk away again, baby. We need each other.”
“I do,” he holds me and kisses my hair and I feel a wound up part of my heart beginning to unwind as it begins to join with his. That’s how it feels anyway. “I need you so much, Carrie. I need you so much it terrifies me because I know I don’t deserve you-”
“You do,” I say a little desperately.
He laughs and tips my head back, smiling fondly. “I really don’t,” he says. “But I’m gonna take you anyway. So don’t worry about it.”
“Dumbass,” I say, beaming at him.
“That’s me,” he says, kissing me once more.
I stand up and the two of us can’t get out of each other’s arms long enough to get to my room and we keep stopping to kiss and stare at each other. It’s late and I know dad and Lorna are already asleep and it’s hardly on my mind anyway as Jason carefully lays me down. His eyes never leave me as he crawls up over me and he just looks at me for a while, reaching up to stroke my hair and press a finger to my lips and caress my cheek, as if wanting to take his sweet time learning every little bit of me all over again.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss my neck. “I’m sorry I tried to deny us.”
“Never leave me,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around him. “And we’ll call it even.”
That night Jason is slow and tender in a way we haven’t been before. He kisses me slow and hot and soft altogether, going over every inch of my body until I’m begging over him. But even then he takes his time, hovering over me as I hiss at the sight of the ugly bandaged bite on his side and the purple bruising around it. It makes him no less beautiful as his abdominal muscles quiver under my touch but it makes me hurt in sympathy.
Jason presses his palm to my face and I bring my legs up when we’re both naked and breathless, opening wide for him as he slides in and our breath catches as we stare at each other. I feel so full of him and he presses deep into me. I can feel his heart beat and I can’t seem to shut my mouth as we both breathe and get lost in each other. I wrap my legs around him and squeeze, bringing him yet closer until he moans and kisses me. We’re one then, in a way I didn’t know was possible. The two of us are one body, one soul. We are mates.
I fall asleep smiling that night because Jason situates himself behind me, holding me safe and still in his arms. He kisses the back of my neck and we both drop off, sore and happy.
In the morning when I wake up, Jason is already awake. I tense for a moment, thinking he might be about to leave again. But we’ve shifted in the night and now I’m curled up on my side facing him as he smiles at me with sleepy eyes. He’s got several days of beard growth going and I reach up running my knuckles along that pleasing stubble.
“I need a shave,” he murmurs, leaning in to kiss the tip of my nose.
“But I like it,” I say, batting my eyes.
He grins and reaches up to stroke my cheek. “It’ll grow back.”
I whine at that and kiss him, even though our morning breath is fairly heinous. I just want to feel that stubble along my cheek again. Jason hums and gets the idea, nuzzling me so that his beard scratches my throat.
“I feel better today,” I tell him. I feel as if my shifter strength has been emboldened by our bond or something. I’ve healed up a lot in the night, I can tell. I’m nowhere near as sore. A couple Ibuprofen should cover that, and I feel strong and healthy. “How are you, baby?”
“Think I’ll need a couple of days,” he says, rolling his eyes. “But I don’t care. I’m glad you feel better.”
I hum happily, ignoring the clock. It feels early though. I’m not starting at the diner today until eleven and I know if Jason was working at the docks, he’d already be out of bed and he doesn’t work at Casey’s on fight nights. The two of us canoodle and writhe around in the sheets, just lazily enjoying each other before I finally give up the ghost and I announce I should brush my teeth.
Jason sits up in bed when I stand. When I turn to look at him, the sheets are down around his thighs, barely covering his cock, the deep v of his hips perfectly sculpted below his pleasing abs. His injuries don’t make him one degree less hot. He has a dusting of chest hair too that makes me want to tackle him. He looks up at me with big eyes his stubble and pouty lips.
“What about me?” He says, scratching his chest. I don’t answer because I can’t stop staring at the gorgeous man in my bed who I get to be with for the rest of my life. “Carrie?” He says, laughing.
“You are the sexiest human being I’ve ever seen in my life,” I say simply.
Jason sticks his tongue between his teeth and says, “Back at you, baby.”
“God, you’re gonna be the death of me,” I mutter. I’m naked and I feel Jason’s eyes on me. I swing my hips a little, giving him a good view of the ass that I know looks damn good as I make my way to the door. I grab my robe off a hook and wrap it around me and Jason actually boos.
“You’re such a brat,” I say, shaking my head.
Jason only laughs and collapses back into the sheets. I’ve never seen him playful like this before. It makes my heart warm.
I know that nothing as far as The Ring has been resolved. The two of us are still stuck fighting. I can hope and pray that Remmy doesn’t want us to f
ight tonight but given his sadistic streak lately, who knows. At least that big asshole is gone and I’m feeling good enough to fight. Jason shouldn’t though. I hope Remmy doesn’t want him too. I trill my lips as I go to the bathroom and quickly brush my teeth before padding into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. Dad and Lorna won’t be up for awhile, so we still have time to enjoy the morning. I hear Jason shuffling around in the bathroom and I tap my foot, waiting for the coffee, before making up two mugs and taking them to bed. I’m not quite ready to give up my lazy morning with Jason in bed. It might be my favorite version of Jason I’ve seen yet.
The two of us enjoy our morning together and when I see it’s about time for Lorna and dad to be up, we finally roll out of bed and get dressed.
“Will you stay for breakfast?” I ask him, as I pull on my jeans. I can’t look at him when I ask, still afraid he’ll say no.
Jason’s buttoning up his shirt but he stops and comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and whispers, “Yes,” in my ear before kissing my neck.
“Good answer.”
He winks in response, a smirk on his face, and takes his empty mug out to the kitchen to get more coffee. There’s a kind of simplicity in the whole mate thing. It feels so out of our control at this point that we can just rack up being together as an absolute necessity. That’s how I feel anyway.
“Oh, it’s you!” I hear Lorna say, stumbling into Jason, I suppose.
“Yep,” he says. He sounds a little embarrassed, but that’s because he doesn’t know Lorna yet. It’s not like she doesn’t have some idea of why he was here but she’ll only call him a “sleepover” friend until I designate him the boyfriend or the mate. The rest of the time, she’ll just chat his ear off. Lorna just about makes it impossible for things to get awkward.
“I came over to talk to you about elephants,” Jason says, and I hear the ringing of Lorna’s laughter. Then the two are engaged in a conversation and my face hurts from smiling about it. I freshen up and in the kitchen when I finally come in, I find dad making eggs and bacon and Jason inspecting Lorna’s crayon drawings. She loves drawings wolves. She’s so proud of being a shifter.
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