“What?” She says.
“I told you,” I say, shrugging. “You should be alpha.”
“And you should be naked right now,” she says easily. “But you can’t always get what you want.”
Chapter Fourteen: Carrie
“I like him,” my dad says.
It’s Sunday morning. Sunday morning with Jason was lazy and filled with some unexpected sunshine in the window as my man rolled over on top of me and his hair fell into his eyes as he kissed his way down to my hip and softly bit me there before smirking up at me. I’ve never seen him look so young.
Now dad and I are doing dishes after breakfast. We’re all hanging around in the kitchen and sipping our coffee. Jason said he didn’t know how to cook in the least but he was a great hunter, so dad taught him how to make an omelette. Now he’s drawing wolves at the table with Lorna and he’s actually giggling.
“I like him too,” I say. I realize I’m smiling without meaning to.
“He’s a man who’s trying to make up for something,” my dad says quietly.
I nod at that. “Yeah. I think he’s going to do a good job.”
“I just mean…” My dad looks sheepish, and he shakes his head. “I have that in common with him.”
“Dad-”
“No,” he says firmly. “We never talk about it, Carrie. But I know I’m responsible for all of this. I keep hoping it will end somehow but…”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath,” I say darkly.
“I joined a group,” he says. His mouth tightens into a little line and I frown, confused. “A group? Of what?”
“There’s a group of guys in town,” he says slowly. “They meet to talk about how they’re trying not to gamble. What with The Ring and all there are a lot of people who’ve found themselves on the wrong side of it. So we meet to talk about it. Obviously, we’re quiet about it. Doesn’t seem like something Remmy would approve.”
“‘Course not,” I mutter. I look at him and find myself smiling again. “I didn’t know you were doing that, dad.”
“Well, I…” He shrugs a little helplessly. “I’ll never be able to make up for what I did or the position I put you in. But I can try anyhow.”
I kiss him on the cheek and squeeze his shoulder. He hasn’t surprised me in a long time. But has this morning. “I’m proud of you,” I tell him. “Mom would be proud of you too.”
His eyes are shining when he squeezes my hand back. “Thank you, sweetie.”
I refill my coffee and sit back down at the table. Lorna has Jason coloring. His face is screwed up in concentration, his tongue sticking out a little as he draws a wolf with a purple crayon.
I lean on my hand. I feel like things are almost right where they should be. Almost. But not quite. Things will never be quite right as long as the two of us still have to fight at The Ring and as long as Remmy is still the alpha. But at least I know that Jason is my mate. And he knows too. I’m already wondering how quickly I can get him to agree to move in here and out of that awful little shack he rents behind the bait shop.
“Why is the wolf purple?” I say, sipping my coffee. I have to cover my mouth not to laugh at Jason’s drawing. It doesn’t look much like a wolf. Although it does have very nice ears.
“She said purple,” Jason says, nodding at Lorna as if it should be obvious. “I just do what I’m told.”
“We’re doing rainbow wolves,” Lorna says.
“Ah,” I nod knowingly. “Rainbow wolves.”
“Yes.”
“Gotcha.” I glance up at Jason and I have to catch my breath. He looks happier than I’ve ever seen him since I met him. “You got somethin’ on your mind?” I say softly.
“I could get used to this,” he says. His brow furrows and I realize he’s asking me if that’s okay. I suppose I’ll be reminding Jason that he’s allowed to be happy for a long long time. I’ll just have to get used to that.
“You should get used to it,” I tell him.
Sunday is the last fight night until Friday. I feel like we’ve both dodged bullets, and it actually makes me nervous. Every fight night that comes around feels like another roll of the dice. What if this time Remmy puts me up against somebody who finally kills me? What if Jason gets killed? What if he just gets badly hurt? What if Remmy didn’t like the audience’s response to him killing an innocent person in the cage and he kills somebody else? What if he kills one of us?
Jason and I are both off on Sunday except for the fights. We spend the day together. We eat at the one restaurant in town that’s nicer than the diner and I make Jason order the fish and chips. Jason says he doesn’t like fish, but he likes this fish. I decide it’s a sign. We walk along the water and we have drinks at Casey’s and then just because it’s across the street, we go to his place and make love on his too small bed. Afterwards, we’re both naked and I’m curled up in his arms, trying not to worry about another fight night. I didn’t used to worry this much about the fights at all. I worried about paying off the debt and even if that was possible and I worried about having enough money to pay the rent and take care of Lorna. But I didn’t worry about the danger. I don’t know if it was because I blinded myself to how real it was before Jason or if things have gotten so much more dangerous with Remmy.
One thing is for sure. Jason is right in everything he says about how somebody needs to challenge Remmy and take over the pack. It’s just a matter of finding somebody willing to do it. I can’t think of one person who is willing and would make a good alpha. Except Jason. But he’s too new, too lone wolf. The people like him but they don’t know him. Visions of campaigns run through my head. It’s ridiculous but who knows? Maybe now is the time for some creative thinking.
“What are you thinking about?” Jason asks me, rubbing my back.
I’m smoking propped up against his chest and look over at him and bat my eyes. “Just you, my love.”
“Liar.”
“Just thinking about the usual,” I say, exhaling smoke. “Fights. Remmy. Bullshit. You know, if we had a decent alpha they could run the hunters out of those goddamn woods. Remmy should’ve done that a long time ago.”
“How would you do it?” Jason asks me. I smile at the question and I can’t help but roll my eyes. Jason seems set on the idea of me as alpha. If I’m honest, I think I’d make a good one. But how on earth would that even happen? Seems as likely as aliens landing.
But I’ll answer his question anyway since I’ve thought about it a hundred times. “It’s not like it’s uncommon,” I say, sighing. “Human hunters threatening shifters I mean. You have to form a coalition with the other nearby packs. Sometimes it’s by political means, drive hunting out of certain area so shifters know where they’re safe. Or we ambush the hunters. Tricky when you’re up against big guns of course. But I’ve heard of it. A wall of oversized wolves comes charging at two guys with shotguns, and they never come back again. But you get casualties. Or you could set up periodic watches in the woods to keep an eye on them. System of communication so everyone knows when it’s safe to go out. There are ways to do it. Remmy just doesn’t give a shit.”
Jason is smiling mischievously and I pinch his hip so he chuckles and squirms. “What?” I ask him.
“Nothing,” he murmurs. “You’d make a good alpha.”
“Yeah yeah yeah.”
We rouse ourselves and decide to go to the gym a bit early and warm up. Jason heals fast from what I can see. He already looks so much better. Even if he has to fight tonight, I’m not very worried about him. When we head down there we get a lot of pats on the backs. People seem to like Jason. That makes me happy. I’m glad he’s accepted. We manage to pull the least douchy of Remmy’s guys aside and ask him how Ray is as we stretch in the gym. He looks around and crouches down to talk to us, speaking as quietly as possible.
“Ray is alive,” he says. “That’s all I can tell you. But it ain’t pretty.”
That sounds grim. On the other hand, fight nights are always grim.
Who is actually fighting tonight remains a mystery. Nobody is telling us anything and everyone looks skittish. When Jack comes over, looking glum, I brace myself.
“I’ve never seen him like this,” Jack says softly. We’re both lifting weights. It feels very strange for Jack to be talking to us like this. I always thought he was happy to be all out for himself, a survivor type would do what Remmy wanted. But now he looks downright spooked. “If I were you guys, I’d be worried. Remmy’s out for blood. You guys are getting a lot of attention. He feels threatened.”
At the moment, Remmy is surrounded by his henchmen near the door. He’s wearing a nice suit and he’s smoking his cigar. He’s also looking at the both of us like he wants to murder us.
That doesn’t bode well.
The shit hits the fan later as Remmy’s giving his spiel. Given what he did with the audience member last time, Jason and I watch the opening of the show with the crowd, leaning against the bleachers. I feel tensed up, as if bracing for a real fight, not just the kind in a cage. Remmy killing that guy just to prove that he could do it and get away with it with no repercussions might have just been building to something and I hate to think what.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!” Remmy riles up the crowd. They look like they’re trying to force themselves to remain upbeat, although maybe I’m just reading that into them. A lot of people look drunk anyway. At this point, it’s as if people feel forced to come to the fights. If Remmy killed a guy for nothing, what would he do if everyone stopped coming to his favorite circus? “Did you like the show last night?” Remmy paces around the cage, waving his arms, encouraging the tepid cheers. “Do you want another show!” The crowd applauds. I’ve long thought that was a howl. When they’re truly enthusiastic, which is often for the fighters, they hoot and shout their support. They used to hoot for and shout for Remmy too. Now they just clap; the bare minimum.
Everyone is tensed. For the first time I can remember, The Ring actually feels cold. Everyone is too quiet now as Remmy pauses. We’re shifters and it’s easy to smell the fear. Everyone in this room is afraid, and it’s a stench. I see Remmy leer and grin as he paces around and he starts cackling. He knows he’s won. Even if they do hate him, it doesn’t matter. He’ll always have them under his thumb.
“I want to kill him,” I mutter under my breath.
“Tonight I’m gonna fight!” Remmy announces. My blood runs cold at that. He’s going to kill another innocent person.
Or he’s going to try to.
I find myself stepping forward toward the cage, scowling, my lip curling up.
“No,” I find myself saying. “No, this isn’t fucking happening again.”
“Carrie,” Jason says behind me.
“Who do you want me to fight!” Remmy screams. He spins around in the cage, arms outstretched, the spotlights swerving around the crowd. He looks other worldly under all that light. He points at various audience members and I see them already looking panicked. “You? Or you!” Then he points to somebody else. The fear is downright pungent.
I’m grimacing and now I open my mouth when behind me, Jason says, “I’ll fight you!”
“Jason!” I spin around and Jason just shakes his head, already making his way to the cage. “Remmy, I’ll fight you!”
Remmy is grinning from ear to ear. I feel like he was hoping for this. My heart feels like it’s stopped beating.
“No,” I whisper. I run up to the cage but Jason is already climbing in and the bars are closed behind him. “Jason, no!”
“Hey, don’t you worry, girly,” Remmy says, looming over me, up high in the cage. “I’ll take care of your fella.” He leers at Jason and says, “Won’t I?”
“You want to make it interesting?” Jason says.
Remmy crosses his arms. He looks so smug as he stares down Jason. I’m so angry at Jason I want to scream. If anyone should be fighting Remmy, it’s me. And if Jason gets killed, what good will it have done me? Son of a bitch. I honestly don’t know which one of them is stronger. Jason is a good fighter but how good? I’ve never fought Remmy myself. I wouldn’t be able to. Not for blood. But Remmy is an alpha…
“Jason!” I scream. “Please. Let me do this!”
Remmy is bouncing on his toes, hooting and trying to further rile up the crowd. Jason turns around and grips the bars to talk to me.
“I grew up fighting for my life,” he says quietly, looking me in the eye. “I grew up brutal. I’m ready for this, Carrie. I think it’s why I’m here. You couldn’t be the one to challenge him. I had to do it. Because this town needs you. It doesn’t need me.”
“I need you, asshole!” I cry through gritted teeth.
He looks serious then and kisses two fingers before pressing them to mine through the bars. “I’ll try to come back to you.”
“What’s your bet, Jason!” Remmy shouts above the din of the crowd.
“My bet is, if you lose, you step down as alpha!” Jason shouts. The whole room hears him and everything goes eerily silent. I didn’t even know it was possible for a room to get so silent. “You step down!” He shouts again. “And you leave town! You never come back again!”
There are murmurs, a sporadic bit of applause that comes from everywhere and nowhere.
Remmy’s lips curl back and he licks his teeth. He’s scared now. I can tell.
“And if I win?” Remmy says. “Well, if I win you’re gonna be dead. Guess it doesn’t matter.”
Shit.
Jason looks back at me and I look back at him. It should be me in there. I believe I’m the stronger fighter. But when I think about what he said: this town needs you. I know he’s right. There’s every chance Remmy’s about to win and it’s making my blood run cold but I love Jason for trying. I love him so much I’m gripping the bars hard enough that my bones ache.
Finally, I back away from the cage and down the steps to the floor as Jason and Remmy face off. Remmy believes he’s going to win and that scares me more than anything. Then he’ll have killed the new threat; the strong, lone wolf from nowhere who quickly became a favorite. The first best chance at a new alpha taken down with one ill conceived duel.
“You can do it,” I whisper, clasping my hands, as I watch Jason through the bars. “You can do it, baby. I believe in you.”
They shift and nobody wasted anytime circling. I can’t tell who pounces first but they’re on each other so fast and furiously that my heart pounds in my chest. I don’t want to watch. The tension of this will kill me, I think. I clench my fists and cheer for Jason.
The two of them are locked together for the longest time, two wolves gripping each other, growling and snapping, until Remmy manages to throw Jason off but he spins around and catches Remmy right in his soft belly because Remmy left himself wide open for the tiniest second, having fallen on his back. I clap my hands and scream. My head abruptly starts aching, the anxiety of this getting to me all at once but I ignore it, and make myself watch. I would be in there fighting myself no question but I’ll let Jason do this. My eyes glimmer with tears as I think of how brave he is.
Remmy throws Jason off and they pounce again and it becomes an ugly, messy scramble, the two of them wrestling on the floor, claws making gashes and fangs taking too big bites. The two of them are entwined and moving so quickly, I can hardly tell who is who or who is winning. I clasp my hands together in front of my mouth, breathless with anticipation.
I’m not afraid, I tell myself. Even if Jason is killed. I won’t ever be afraid again. I won’t let myself be afraid.
They’re going at it so hard and so evenly, I know one or both of them is going to die and tears are sliding down my face but I keep watching. I keep watching.
A wolf’s roar cracks through the cheers and howling so loudly that everyone goes quiet again. All I can see is a twisted heap of fur and muscle. Nobody is moving and my heart feels like it’s about to go still in my chest. But now blood is seeping along the floor. Too much blood. Someone is dead.
Jason staggers to his paws, his head lowered, his jaws bloodied as he stands over the dead body of Remmy’s wolf. I can’t believe my eyes. Remmy is dead. I look around for his henchmen, his trusted little associates who have done his bidding for years. They all just look shocked. But nobody is rushing the cage. Nobody is coming to kill the new lone wolf in town for having just taken out their alpha.
Some random voice in the crowd shouts, “Is he dead!”
Jason shifts and he looks gory with blood. He stares down at Remmy, looking shocked. “He’s dead,” Jason shouts above the crowd. There’s a muted kind of cheering that follows and a series of gasps and muttering. Nobody can believe it and a lot of people are obviously pleased. Jason just looks like he’s trying to catch his breath.
There’s an almost hilariously awkward moment where nobody knows what to do but Jason. “I didn’t mean to kill your alpha!” He shouts. “But I did hope to take him down!”
“ALPHA!” Several people shout it at Jason. Then a course of changing begins: “ALPHA! ALPHA!”
Jason waves them off to quiet them down and says, “I don’t want to be your alpha! I don’t believe I should be!”
Everyone seems confused by that. I know what’s coming. I feel like I’ve always known this day would come and crazily, it feels right. I stand there by the bleachers, watching Jason. I feel a strange sense of calm.
I’ve never seen a traditional challenge for alpha. From what I’ve heard, it does go something like this. Except for the part where the challenger doesn’t actually want to be alpha. I guess, in a way, this does make sense.
People are still insistently cheering for Jason and he puts up his hands to quiet them again. “I am not your alpha! I think you all know who your rightful alpha in Grayling is!” He turns to me, grinning from ear to ear, covered in Remmy's blood, and holds out his hand. “Carrie! Come up here!”
At the sound of my name, the crowd roars the way I’ve never heard it roar in The Ring. It’s so loud and raucous I think it’s going to bring the walls down. But there’s a new sound in the cheering of the crowd too as I swallow and calmly climb the steps to the cage, unlatching it, and climbing inside. It’s the sound of joy. Every single person in the room looks happy, as if their greatest wish has just been granted, and my heart swells in my chest. Jason takes my hand and raises it.
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