The List

by B L Maxwell

  He bumped shoulders with me as we walked together to our next class. “Nah, I’ll take the hot summers anytime over this.” I laughed at that before I thought of Zane out there with shoes that were full of holes and jeans that weren’t much better. “Hey, what’s going on?” Rick asked.

  “Nothing, just a lot on my mind. Come on, let’s get to class.” Once I opened my mind to thoughts of Zane, that’s all there was. I tried to concentrate on my accounting class, but where normally I didn’t mind it, today I couldn’t keep my attention on the numbers and accounts. Time seemed to drag all day, and when I finally finished my last class and made my way to my car, I had to hold myself back from running to it. I slid into my seat and took a deep breath before starting the car and driving toward work.

  The rain still fell in heavy sheets as the streets overflowed with water that splashed in big waves as cars raced through it. I couldn’t help looking around as I drove, hoping to see Zane somewhere, but there weren’t many people out in the rain. When I pulled up to work, I sat in my car for a moment. The sound of the rain pelting the roof sounded so hypnotic I could have fallen asleep if I sat here much longer. I scrubbed a hand down my face and pulled the hood of my coat up before I made a run for the door.

  “Well look what the wind blew in,” Bruce joked.

  “More like I floated in on my boat, it’s really coming down this time.”

  “I saw the river is getting near flood stage, they’ll start closing the parkway where it’s in the lower areas. Hopefully the folks that have been camping down there get out before the water gets too high.”

  “People camp there this time of year?”

  “Some of the homeless live there year-round. People leave them alone, and it’s a pretty rural feeling, but close to town too. They had to rescue a few people last year who got caught when the rain was heavy and the river level went up fast enough to cut them off. Took a rescue boat to bring them across the river from the island that was all that was left of their camp.”

  “That would be terrifying, I hope they’re all safe this year. I drove over by the river earlier and it’s really high.”

  “A day or two more of this heavy rain and it’ll flood down there for sure,” Bruce said matter-of-factly, not realizing my mind was whirling, trying to figure out a way to find Zane and know he was someplace safe. But I’d been looking for a week and hadn’t seen anything of him. I thought by now he’d be looking for the things he’d left behind, but he hadn’t. Then a thought hit me that chilled me to the bone—what if he couldn’t? What if he’d already been washed away by the river? I swallowed the bile that threatened to rise in the back of my throat. I couldn’t finish that thought or give it any power over me. I’d look again on my way home, and hopefully I’d find him. I had a feeling, if I didn’t find him soon, I’d never know what happened to him.

  “Tommy, you can take off early if you want to, it’s pretty slow tonight.”

  “Thanks, Bruce, I have some homework to work on when I get home.” I finished the rest of the dishes and wiped everything down before I clocked out and left. I drove slowly and looked as much as I could with it being dark and pouring rain. I thought of the man I’d mistaken for Zane a while back. What if that was the coat I’d given him? If he was out here with nothing to protect him from the rain, how long could he last?

  When I walked into my apartment, I slumped on the couch and swore to myself I’d try harder. I couldn’t just forget about him; I’d keep looking, and hopefully I’d find out one way or another what had happened to him.

  I looked at my phone and the list of items I’d started to help him. None of that mattered right now, all that mattered was that he was safe.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Leaky Roof

  I turned on the television, hoping it would distract me from all the troubling thoughts about Zane. The news was on, and every report was about how bad the weather was, and how we hadn’t seen the worst of it yet. I looked out the window and watched as the rain poured down in the parking lot and ran off in rivulets to the street.

  The rain didn’t let up, remained hard and steady for hours, and I couldn’t stop watching the weather reports. They were predicting it would rain even harder, and then the temperature was going to drop, and snow was a big possibility. It was looking like the worst situation possible was about to happen. A wet storm from over the Pacific was going to collide with a cold front from Alaska, and we were right in the path of it all. I fell asleep on the couch with the news still on. I couldn’t stop watching it, wanting to know every detail and hoping something happened and it changed.

  “Morning, Tommy,” Bruce said as I answered my phone.

  “Hey, Bruce, what’s going on?”

  “We got a little problem at the restaurant. I went in this morning to meet a delivery and we have a leak in the kitchen. It won’t affect the dining room, but it’s made a huge mess of things. I’m going to close for today and see how it’s looking later to decide what we’ll do about the dinner crowd.”

  “Do you need help? I can skip school this morning?”

  “No, kid, you go do your thing, I’ll call later and let you know what’s going on.”

  I hung up and dragged myself to the bathroom—might as well get ready for school. I made a quick cup of coffee to take with me, and once again ran out into the downpour. The rain was falling so heavy, the streets were starting to look like streams. The gutters and drains were all full, and the leaves that had fallen were starting to cause them to overflow. I turned up the heat and wiped at my windshield, hoping it would give me a little clearer vision, but even with my lights on, it wasn’t easy.

  I drove to school at a crawl even though traffic was light. Most people seemed to have heeded the warnings on the news and stayed home. The wind whipped the trees around, and branches and leaves littered the streets. I was glad I didn’t have to drive far, but I would have been glad to stay home today too. As I pulled into the school parking lot, I knew something was up. Where normally I would have to search out a space, today there were plenty. I parked and pulled up the school’s website on my phone. Due to the weather, today’s classes will be cancelled. Please check back tomorrow morning for an update.

  “Well, shit, I could have stayed in bed after all,” I said to myself before I started my car and drove back toward home. “Dial Bruce.” I waited as I listened to the sound of my phone connecting the call.

  “What’s going on, Tommy?” Bruce sounded a little overwhelmed and in a rush.

  “School’s cancelled, I was wondering if you needed any help?”

  “Get over here, we’re underwater in the kitchen, and if we don’t get a roofer out here to put a tarp over the leak, then we’re fucked.”

  “I’ll be right there, maybe we can figure something out.”

  “Thanks, Tommy, see you soon.” I was pulling into the back of the place a few minutes later. Water was definitely becoming an issue as the heavy rain overpowered the gutter system. I drove at a crawl as I navigated the alley that was now barely recognizable under the steady flow of water. I parked close to the back door and pulled my hood up to make a run for it.

  “Little wet out there?” Bruce asked.

  “Just a little,” I said and looked around the kitchen. There were empty trash cans placed around the area, catching the torrent of water dripping from the ceiling. “Hey, John.”

  “Tommy, what are you doing here? Don’t you have school?” John was Bruce’s partner. I’d met him in passing but hadn’t talked to him much.

  “Not today, I was one of the only ones who showed up. The weather is really making a mess of things.”

  “Thank your lucky stars you’ve got a dry place to go to in it. It’s not fun trying to live outside in this,” John said as he glanced out at the rain that hadn’t let up at all.

  “I have a friend who’s out there, I’ve been worried sick.”

  “You mean the guy behind the dumpster? Bruce told me you were looking out fo
r him. That’s really nice of you, I can tell you from experience he appreciates it more than he’d ever say.”

  “I got him a coat, but I was hoping to get him some shoes. The ones he has are about ready to fall apart, but then he disappeared.”

  John stepped closer to me and clapped me on the shoulder. “Some people have a hard time taking any help. They might not want to owe anyone, or they might just be embarrassed. But don’t ever stop trying, we all need help now and then.” Bruce gave John a sad smile, and I knew there was more to this than him just being a nice guy, but I also got the feeling it wasn’t something he liked talking about.

  “Tell me what to do, I’m going crazy just standing around.” Bruce handed me a mop, and I got busy, glad to have something to keep my mind off Zane.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tarps and Towels

  We finished cleaning up the mess inside, but water was still raining down inside the kitchen. “When are the roofers supposed to be here?” I asked, not for the first time.

  “They were due over an hour ago, but with this weather, I’m sure they’re really busy,” Bruce said.

  “Should we see if we can go up there ourselves and put a tarp on it? At least it’ll stop the water dripping inside,” I said, not sure it was actually a good idea or not.

  “What do you think, John? Should we try it ourselves?” Bruce said and stepped closer to John.

  “Yeah, why not. We’ve got tarps in the storage room, and the roof has an access panel so we don’t have to try to climb a ladder in this weather. As long as you two don’t mind getting wet, I think we should go for it.”

  “I’ll get the tarps,” I offered and hurried back to the storage room. I looked around for a second and finally spotted them on top of a shelf above the other dry supplies. There were three, and I stretched up and grabbed them all.

  “Hey, I got th—” I walked out to Bruce and John embracing each other and looking so intimate, I felt I was interrupting.

  Bruce saw me and smiled. “Hey, kid, did you have any trouble finding them?”

  I ducked my head, not wanting to invade their private moment. “Nope, they were right there.”

  “Come on, then, let’s get it over with,” John said as he pulled on his raincoat. We stepped over to the hatch, and Bruce pulled down the ladder that led to the roof.

  “You ready for this?” Bruce asked as he climbed a few rungs.

  “Not even, let’s get it over with,” John said, making us laugh.

  Bruce opened the roof hatch and scrambled up on top as rain dripped in through the opening. He reached down, I handed him the tarps, and he disappeared up on the roof. I climbed up through the hatch, with John close behind me.

  “It was leaking in this area,” Bruce pointed out. There was a lot of standing water on the flat roof, but nothing obvious to see where exactly the leak was.

  “Let’s just cover as much as we can and hope it at least slows it down,” John said and took one of the tarps. He spread it out, letting the wind catch it and open it fully. Bruce and I both spread it out on the roof and stood on it to hold it down while John grabbed some of the boards that were stacked off to one side. “These should hold it down, at least for a little while. Hopefully the roofer gets here soon, and the weather doesn’t get any worse.”

  “Looks like we’re in for a long night,” Bruce said to him.

  “Yeah, we should hang out until we know it’s not going to get any worse,” John agreed.

  We all situated the boards so the tarp was secure, then got busy on the next one. After fighting the wind and rain for what seemed like forever, we finally had all three tarps secured, and headed back down into the restaurant. All of us were soaked to the bone; our coats hadn’t helped much against the driving wind and rain.

  “I’ll get us some towels,” Bruce said as he rushed to the storage room.

  “Tommy, can I ask you something?” John asked as we both stood there dripping all over the floor.

  “Sure, what’s up, John?”

  “What do you know about the dumpster guy?”

  I rubbed the back of my neck, not wanting to give away anything, but realizing I knew so little it didn’t matter. So I told him everything, and he listened with a knowing look in his eye that told me he understood way better than I probably did. “I looked back there, I wanted to make sure he hadn’t left anything that maybe mattered to him.”

  “Did you find anything?” he asked, his brows arched in concern.

  “I did. There was a plastic bag with some pictures in it. I didn’t want to look too close and make him think I was invading his privacy if it was his.”

  “What’s his name?” John asked.

  I had to swallow hard before I could answer. “Zane, his name is Zane.”

  “Has he told you anything about why he’s on the street?”

  “No, nothing. He has nothing, just the clothes on his back. His shoes are ready to fall off his feet. I bought him some socks, a coat at Goodwill, gave him a couple of knitted hats, and I was going to get him some new shoes, but then he disappeared. I let him stay at my place, and when I woke up, he was gone.” I knew I was spewing information he hadn’t asked me for, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. When I finished, I was breathing hard and more emotional than I should have been over a guy I didn’t know at all.

  “Come here, Tommy,” John said and pulled me into a hug. “You’ve done more than most would have. I know you’re worried about him, but he may not want you to find him.”

  I pulled back and wiped my hand down my face. “I don’t know what it is, I can’t stop worrying about him. I saw a homeless guy with a coat that looked like the one I’d given Zane, I rushed up to him thinking I’d found him, but it wasn’t him.”

  “I don’t know if Bruce said anything to you, but I was homeless myself for a time. I had some bad luck and ended up living rough for a while.”

  “Bruce mentioned that. I’m so sorry, it can’t have been easy.”

  “No, it wasn’t. But not everything about it was bad. I met some really great people, and a few times I got to see things work out for someone who didn’t deserve to be living out there. It’s not an easy life.”

  “I have no clue where to even look for him. I keep worrying I’ll never see him again.”

  “I don’t know how to help you there, if he doesn’t want you to find him, you won’t. But don’t give up hope. Sometimes that’s all we have left.”

  “Thanks, John, I’ll keep looking. Maybe I’ll have some luck after the rain lets up.”

  “Supposed to snow in a couple of days,” Bruce called as he walked over with the towels.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m hoping they’re wrong about that,” John said to him, while I worried about a guy I barely knew trying to survive the elements with no coat and worn-out shoes.

  Chapter Sixteen

  An Invitation

  Now that the leak was stopped, we were able to clean up the kitchen. I mopped, while Bruce and John wiped down all the surfaces and washed any bowls or dishes that needed it. We worked in silence for a while, all of us concentrating on the task at hand, and in my case, hoping the tarps held and it didn’t leak anymore.

  “What are your plans for Thanksgiving, Tommy?” John asked.

  “Same as always, I’ll probably sleep in, then get busy on any assignments I haven’t finished. Maybe watch a little television,” I said, not looking up. When I did, both of them had stopped cleaning and were staring at me. “What?”

  “You’re coming over to our place, we have a big thing every year,” Bruce said with a decisive nod of his head.

  “Nah, I’m good, it’s just another day for me.”

  “That’s bullshit, you’re going to our house and joining the rest of the strays we’ve collected,” Bruce snapped back at me. John stepped closer to him and rested his hand on his back. Bruce calmed a little at the touch. “Sorry, kid, I just can’t stand the idea of anyone being alone on a holiday. John and I host every
year, and every year we have a different crowd, but we don’t ever turn anyone away. Everyone is family, and everyone is welcome.”

  “Do you need some help? I’m pretty handy in the kitchen,” I offered with a smile I couldn’t seem to hold back.

  “We can always use some help, kid.” He smiled and slapped me on the back before squeezing my shoulder. “You’re always welcome, you understand? No one should be alone during the holidays. And if you find Zane, you invite him too.”

  “Thanks, Bruce, I will.” Even if I thought there was no way I’d ever see him again. He’d obviously moved on. It had been over a week, close to two, and I hadn’t seen anything of him. “Is there anything else I can help with?”

  “No, kid, go home, we’ll open tomorrow. Hopefully the roofing company gets here before the tarp gives up. But so far, I don’t see any leaks, so we’re good to go.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow for the dinner crowd, Bruce.” I slipped my coat back on before walking out the back door. It was still raining, and since the sun had gone down, it was getting even colder out. I ran for my car and stopped short when I was in front of the dumpster. I stepped a little closer to be sure Zane still wasn’t there, but there was no sign of him, so I walked the rest of the way to my car, letting the rain soak me.

  I drove around for a while after I left the bar and grill; the streets were quiet and dark. Rain pelted my windshield and made it hard for me to see much. A few people were on the sidewalk, but it seemed the homeless had found somewhere to stay out of the cold and wet. I hoped, once again, that Zane was safe and warm. That he’d found refuge somewhere from the rain and was getting some warm food to eat. I still didn’t know what had happened to him, but no way had he deserved to be struggling out there all alone.

  When I finally walked through my door, I was exhausted, the manual labor and emotions of the day weighing heavy on me, so I went straight to bed. I snuggled under the blankets and tried to ignore how cold the sheets felt. My mind would not slow down, thoughts of Zane flashing behind my eyes. I’d only spoken to him a few times, why would he have made such an impression on me that I couldn’t forget about him now? I reached across the bed and opened the drawer to my side table and took out the bag that held the pictures I’d found behind the dumpster. I had looked at them several times, and every time I did, I had one thought—why would he leave them?