The List

by B L Maxwell

  Zane coughed so hard he seemed to struggle to take a breath, but he waved me away when I slid my chair back to stand. When he finally settled, he took a sip of water before continuing. “No one who could help, did help. I wasn’t sure who to turn to anyway. I’ve never asked for money, so I didn’t. I found food where I could and ate it, but once it was raining, everything was soaked. I finally found a place I thought was safe, it was behind a building and looked like a basement entrance. It had just enough of an overhang to stop the rain from hitting me. I laid out the one hat I still had and my gloves to dry. I fell asleep for a while and woke up to a bunch of guys beating the shit out of me. I’m not sure why, it’s not like I had anything they could take. When they realized that, they shoved me against the wall and took off. I hit my head against the building and passed out.

  “When I woke up, I was soaking wet and hurt so bad I didn’t think I could stand another night alone.” He reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “I’m not asking you for anything, but would you just be my friend? I really need a friend right now, Tommy.”

  I stood from the table and pulled him into my arms as he cried quiet tears. His sobs racked his body, and I could hear the congestion and wheezing in his lungs as he tried to drag in deep breaths. “Zane, I’m so sorry. I’ll do whatever you need, you don’t have to be alone anymore. I’ve got you now.” I rubbed his back and hoped I was showing him some comfort. Because one thing I knew for sure was how it felt to be all alone in the world, and no way in hell was I letting him feel that way for a minute longer.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Leftovers

  After we cleaned up from breakfast we moved to the couch. I pulled a blanket over us both, and handed Zane the bag of photos. “Is that your family? Do you want to call them?” He shook his head and still continued to stare at the pictures. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just waited while he continued to look at each picture with great care.

  “I can’t call them,” he whispered. I was afraid to ask, the level of hurt he was feeling was written all over his face, and I had to force myself not to rub my knuckles over my heart to ease some of my own pain at the sight.

  “Do you know where they are?” I spoke nearly as quiet as he did; the sense of dread was heavy in the air around us as I waited for his answer. A million thoughts went through my mind. Had he run away? Did they desert him? Or had they died? I was afraid of his answer because I knew it would hurt him to say it, but I needed to know what caused him so much pain and grief.

  “I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure they’re dead.”

  “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

  “I came here for an interview for an internship I needed to do before I could get a job in my field. I was staying here for a few days, just to check it out, make sure this was where I wanted to end up.”

  “Where are you from?”

  “I graduated from Chico State, my family lived in Paradise,” he blurted out, pushing the words out as fast as he could. “I haven’t heard from them since the fire.”

  No. His words echoed in my head until I wanted to scream from the hurt and pain I knew he’d been dealing with all alone. “Did you try to call them?” I wasn’t sure what to say, there didn’t seem to be a way to fix this.

  “I tried for a while, but after I lost my car, I didn’t have a way to keep my phone charged, and one day it stopped working. I think the service was cut off. No way would my parents have done that.”

  “Do you want to use my phone to call? See if they answer?” I offered, taking out my phone and handing it to him. He stared at it for a moment before quickly dialing a number. I heard the phone ring twice before a message came on saying the number was disconnected. His head slumped forward and he set the phone on the table. “Have you tried to find them? The whole town was evacuated, some people never went back. Maybe they lost their phones and you just need to find them?”

  “I didn’t have any way to get there. Everything I had was in my car, when it got towed, I didn’t have the money to get it out, and they wouldn’t let me take anything from it. My clothes, my laptop, everything I owned was in it.”

  “That’s why you don’t have any clothes besides the one you’ve been wearing.”

  “I only had what I had on me when they towed it.”

  I set my hand on his once again, I couldn’t control the need to comfort him. To let him know he wasn’t alone anymore. “I met someone who might be able to help. Do you mind if I call her and see what she can do?”

  “I don’t mind. I’ve been so lost and scared. I wasn’t sure who to trust, and after a few months, I just wanted to be left alone.”

  “The fire was last year, have you been homeless that long?”

  “I’m not sure, I haven’t always been able to keep track of what day it is. It’s amazing how much you miss when you’re pretty much cut off from everything.”

  “Why didn’t you go to a library and use their computers? Maybe try to email your parents?”

  “My parents live off the grid, they moved to Paradise to be away from too much technology. They made their place as self-reliant as they could make it. Neither of them had a computer or an email address. They paid all their bills by mailing a check.”

  “So, no computers, no internet.”

  “Nope, seemed cool when I was younger and didn’t need to be so connected. But once I was in college it was tough. I spent a lot of time at the library then,” he breathed out on a laugh. “Ironic that the computers I was so dependent on in college didn’t help me at all once I was out.”

  “What are their names?” I asked.

  “Jude and Glenna Martin,” he said while still staring at the pictures.

  “You look just like your dad,” I mentioned, making him smile.

  “That’s what everyone in town used to say.” His eyes filled with tears again. “I need to know what happened to them, could you really help me?”

  “I will, and if I can’t help, I’ll find someone else who can. So many people were displaced, some of them are still homeless. But we’ll work together and see what we can find out.”

  “I’d like that, if you don’t mind and you have time, I’d really appreciate your help.”

  I slowly reached out and cupped his cheek. He leaned into my touch, and his eyes fluttered closed. “I’ll do whatever I can,” I whispered, and knew somewhere in the madness of trying to help Zane, my heart had gotten involved.

  I cleared my throat and looked away for a moment, checking the time on the microwave when my stomach rumbled. It was getting close to lunchtime already, the morning all but gone. “Let’s get something to eat. Bruce and John sent me home with a bunch of Thanksgiving leftovers. How does that sound?”

  “So good I could kiss you right now,” he blurted out, and then blushed.

  “Big fan of the leftovers, huh?” I asked, trying to ease some of the tension.

  “Big fan of any food these days. Have you seen that Christmas movie about the little kid that wants a BB gun for his present, and the dad is crazy for turkey? That was my dad, he was all about the turkey and leftovers.” He looked sad, but he smiled at the memory.

  “Yes, I watch it every year since it’s on a bazillion times. I’ll make us some sandwiches for now, everything from Thanksgiving all smashed in one sandwich, and then we can get creative later on.”

  “That sounds so good, even the smashed part.” He laughed at his own joke and pulled the blanket a little tighter to his chest.

  I got busy making our snack, and I was never as thankful for leftovers before. I stacked turkey, dressing, and cranberry sauce on bread, added some mayo, and smashed it all together. I set our plates down on the table, and Zane met my eyes, and for a moment his eyes held a brightness I hadn’t seen in them before and that I hoped would never fade. The hope I now saw in him burned bright, and I’d do whatever I could to make sure he didn’t regret telling me his story.

  We ate in silence, enjoying the food
, and neither of us feeling the need to speak to fill the quiet this time. I tried not to focus on the cold, but his cough reminded me he still wasn’t well. After we finished, I took our plates to the sink. When I turned back to Zane, he was nodding off while sitting at the table.

  “Come on, let me help you back to bed where it’s warm.” He didn’t answer, just let me lead him to my room. When he was all tucked in and sleeping, I sat next to him, my back against the wall, but when my mind wouldn’t slow down, I climbed back out of bed. I had to help him, and I’d start right now.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Help Wanted

  I closed the door to my room as I walked into the living room while tapping on my phone.

  Chloe, this is Tommy, I’m sorry to bother you, but I’d like to help Zane find his parents, and I thought maybe you could tell me where to begin. Thanks.

  I pressed Send and had a reply almost immediately. I was hoping you’d get back to me. I’m so glad to hear from you again. How’s he doing? Does he need anything? I’ll be at the shelter downtown later today, if you want to come by, I can see what I can do to help him, and you.

  He might need to see a doctor, he said he’d been beaten, and he sounds like he has a bad cold. And there’s something else. His parents lived in Paradise, he’s not sure if they survived the fire, or where they are. I want to see what I can find out for him.

  Within a minute I got a message back from Chloe, and it filled me with a sense of real hope. I have a few contacts who were there helping after it happened, and I know they’re still working with some people. I’ll get in touch with them and see if I can find out anything.

  I gave her the information I had, their names, and where they lived. I also told her Zane’s full name so she could check missing person’s reports.

  The day wore on, but it was still not bright outside. I peeked through the blinds to see a winter wonderland in my parking lot. And it wasn’t done yet, the snow was still falling. I watched it for a moment, mesmerized by the floating flakes blending seamlessly into the already fallen snow. There were no cars on the road or driving around near the building so the snow on the ground was untouched and perfect. Funny how the blanket of snow made everything look so flawless and wiped clean. A new beginning.

  A deep cough pulled me out of my thoughts, and I walked back to the bedroom to check on Zane and tell him about Chloe’s offer. He was curled on his side, and even though it had only been a short time since I’d seen him, he was now soaked in sweat. His hair stuck to his head and his skin that had appeared so pale now looked pink. I felt his forehead, and he shivered at the contact. He felt warm, too warm.

  “Zane, wake up,” I said and shook his arm. He didn’t react, but his shaking seemed to increase. I shook him again a little harder, and his jaw clenched as his teeth chattered. “Zane?” He cracked his eyes open and pulled the blanket up closer to his chin.

  “So cold, Tommy, I’m so cold,” he stuttered out. I tucked the blankets around him and moved everything from my side to his, so he was buried under a mountain of blankets.

  “You have a fever, let me get you some ibuprofen and see if that helps.” He nodded but didn’t open his eyes, his breathing sounding more labored now, and thick with congestion. I went to the kitchen and filled a travel cup with cold water and hurried to the bathroom to get some ibuprofen. Then I remembered something my mom used to do when I was little, and after digging through the drawer in the bathroom, I found what I needed. I pulled a pair of socks out of a drawer in my dresser when I walked by and sat next to Zane again.

  “I’m going to help you sit so you can take some ibuprofen.” He didn’t answer so I scooped up his neck and put the straw to his lips. Once he took a drink, he gulped more down. I pulled the cup back and offered him the pills. He swallowed them down and took another big drink. “When I was little and had a cough, my mom would always put Vicks on my feet and then put socks on me. I thought it was so weird, but it really does help with a cough, and it seems to help you sleep. Would you mind if I try it? I won’t do it if you don’t want me to, but I think it might help your cough.”

  Once again, he didn’t answer, just nodded. I took that as a sign and uncovered one foot at a time to slather with Vicks before sliding the sock back on. When I was done, I rubbed his back. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I hoped he knew I cared, and I’d take care of him if I could.

  My phone signaled a message, so I walked out of the room, leaving him to sleep.

  Hey kid, I just wanted to remind you of your shift tonight. I know you’ve had a lot going on.

  Work, I couldn’t believe it. I’d completely forgotten. Once I knew Zane was hurt, he was all I’d thought of. I’m glad you msg’d, I totally forgot . . .

  I called him then and told him everything I now knew, that Zane was sick and had been beaten. I also told him what had happened to his parents, and how he’d become homeless. He was silent for so long I thought he’d hung up.

  “Bruce? Are you there?”

  “I’m here, kid, I’m just shocked. I had no idea. If you hadn’t helped him . . .”

  “Bruce, you didn’t know. None of us did. Now we can change that, we can help him.”

  He cleared his throat before he spoke. “You’re a rare one, Tommy, not many would have cared enough to find out what his story was. I’m proud of you for taking the initiative and helping him. How’s he doing?”

  “I’m not sure he has any serious injuries, but he’s sick, really sick. He has a fever, and his cough seems to keep getting worse. Chloe said to take him to the downtown shelter if he needs help.”

  “I think it’s a good idea to get him checked out. He could have a broken rib, or maybe he needs stitches for the gash on his head?”

  “I was thinking the same thing, he has so many bruises. And he’s so thin, he hasn’t been eating regularly for a while.” I didn’t even bother to disguise the worry in my voice.

  “Do you need help getting him there? The snow’s not letting up, and it’ll be pretty dicey driving.”

  “Would you mind? I’m not sure my car can handle it, and I don’t want to end up sliding off the road into another car or something else.”

  “Sure, kid, John and I’ll be there in about an hour. Does that work for you?”

  “Yeah, that’s great. I just gave him some ibuprofen, so I’m hoping that helps.”

  “Will do, and Tommy? Don’t worry about work. I know you need the money, but let’s wait and see what we find out about Zane. I don’t think you’d be all that helpful if you knew he was sick and alone.”

  “You’re probably right,” I mumbled. “I’m going to go check on him. Let me know when you get here, and I’ll get him down to your car.”

  We said our goodbyes, and I took up my place next to Zane. He was still warm, but maybe not quite so much. I didn’t have a thermometer, so I just had to guess—and hope—and wait impatiently for Bruce and John to get here.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Shelter

  What normally would have taken fifteen minutes, ended up taking over an hour. When Bruce messaged he was here, I hurried to help Zane get ready to go out into the storm. I didn’t bother with his clothes, just left him in the sweatpants and shirt he’d put on after his bath. He sat on the edge of the bed looking lost and weak while I dug around in my closet. I found a pair of boots I rarely wore and slipped them on his feet.

  “Tommy, you don’t have to do this, I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he croaked out before dissolving into another coughing fit.

  “I know, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t. Bruce is going to drive us, he’s out front. I wasn’t sure my car could handle the snow, and I didn’t want to find out the hard way it couldn’t. You ready? I don’t think we should keep them waiting any longer.” I shoved a wool hat on his head and pulled my coat on.

  He stood and wobbled, so I rushed to his side and took his arm. He immediately leaned into me and rested his head on my shoulder. I
pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. “Are you sure this is enough?” I asked as I tugged it tighter still.

  “It’s fine, I’ve had much less. This is plenty.” We shuffled to the door, and as soon as I opened it the cold hit us like a slap to the face. It was so cold it made me shiver instantly. Zane ducked his head and curled in on himself as much as he could.

  “Come on, they’re right there, let’s get this over with,” I said, partly to myself as we hurried through the snow toward Bruce’s SUV. I helped Zane in before sliding into the back seat after him, instantly thankful the heater was on.

  Bruce and John both turned around to look at us. “I’m Bruce, we haven’t met, but I know who you are. This is my husband, John,” he said as he motioned to John.

  Zane looked at each of them before he held his hand out. “Nice to meet you, sorry I didn’t introduce myself before.”

  “It’s not a problem, I’ve been there,” John said as he shook Zane’s hand. “Come on, let’s get you over to Chloe. If anyone can help, it’s her.”

  Zane settled back into the seat, and without thinking I put my arm around him and pulled him close. I was way beyond caring what anyone thought. There was something in me that wouldn’t let him go until I knew he was safe and healthy. I wasn’t sure I was capable of letting him spend another night on the street, and if I had my way, he wouldn’t.

  “Chloe said she might be able to help with finding Zane’s parents,” I said and squeezed his shoulder.

  “If she said she can help, she means it,” John said with a smile. “I did one small thing for her brother and she never forgot it, and never stopped looking for me until she found me. She’s very determined.”

  Bruce pulled away from the parking lot and we slowly made our way to the shelter. Again I marveled at how different everything looked; there were very few people out, and even less cars on the streets. All of us were quiet on the drive, everyone looking out the windows at the snow. As we crawled along, so many thoughts rushed through my mind. But mostly it was worry about Zane: Where would he go? How would he live? Would he end up homeless again? Would he find his parents? What if they didn’t survive the fire? I prayed for the first time ever for Zane, for whoever was in charge to take care of him, and not let him have to struggle for one more minute, and then I squeezed him tighter to me. Because if this was the last time we were going to be together, I wanted to be as near to him as I could.