by Anna Widzisz
Inéz coughed. "Noah," she drawled, but her voice was weak and too quiet. "Please, stop," she added, trying her best to sound stronger than she was.
Nothing.
The Capo kept on punching and kicking Gastone’s body all over the room without stopping.
Seeing this, Inéz knew that she would have to wait forever for Noah to be done, and she wasn’t going to do that anymore. She was done waiting for him to put her first when that was all she’d ever done.
"I hit my back. I had it badly injured when I was younger. And it feels almost the same now," she explained to Lynette, and let one of the soldiers take her into his arms and out of the room. That shouldn’t have happened as it could aggravate her injury, and calling for an ambulance would have been the proper thing to do. But it was still a crime scene and inviting outsiders to see more than they should, would have been a disaster waiting to happen.
Feeling the fresh air envelop her exposed body, she slowly drifted away, unable to keep her eyes open anymore.
CHAPTER 45
Never before had Noah imagined that the words coming out of the mouth of his penthouse building’s receptionist would have the power to destroy him. But that was exactly what happened when he called him as he was on his way to get Gastone. He’d thought there was no time to waste, yet if he had waited a little longer, stayed an hour more with Inéz, she wouldn’t have come out, and wouldn’t have disappeared.
Seeing the girl in front of such a well-known building must have come as quite a shock to the Capodecina. Coming to his Capo’s place, he’d had the same idea - to overthrow the boss, before it was him held at gunpoint. And laying eyes on the girl who’d suspiciously started working in his club, when she was hardly the type, could have made the man connect the facts and decide to grab her instead. Thus, sinking Noah’s black heart to the bottom of his even darker soul when he saw the surveillance video of her being knocked out by one of Gastone’s soldiers.
He was supposed to keep her safe, just like he’d promised. But he failed in so many ways it should’ve been a crime. And perhaps it even was. As was everything else in his world.
The worst thing was - he felt like it was his siblings’ kidnapping all over again. He had been just as useless then, as he was now. Age didn’t fucking matter. Twelve or twenty-four, experienced or not, cruel or not. He. Was. Fucking. Useless.
First, because he’d left Inéz alone when he knew there was always a small chance that someone would find out who she really was, or try to get into his place. Second, it was Elio who’d figured out his father’s whereabouts, having worked with him for so many years. Third, he was so full of rage that he couldn’t even get behind the wheel himself and had to rely on his brother to drive. And lastly, and perhaps the most hurtful was that when he could finally atone for his earlier mistakes, he hadn’t been able to control himself enough to help Inéz, and had kept on punishing Gastone instead. The sight of him cutting and punching her kept flashing before his eyes and he couldn’t shut it off.
Even Flavio couldn’t get to him and he tried. He really did.
"For fuck’s sake, Noah. Get your shit together," he roared, finally being able to separate him from the Capodecina, who was lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, barely breathing. "He’s not important," he added.
Noah knew that, but the anger he’d bottled up got the best of him.
His eyes settled on the broken chair behind Flavio’s back. Inéz wasn’t there anymore, just a few of his soldiers who were standing patiently, waiting for a command.
Where was she? Was she safe?
He glanced at his brother questioningly.
"Lynette took her to the hospital," Nicodemo chimed in as he walked into the room.
There were no more words necessary and Noah was out of the old building in a matter of seconds. He arrived at the hospital in record-breaking time, roaming the hallways to find Lynette, or better yet - Inéz. His heart was tight and mouth dry. No one would have taken her to the hospital if it hadn’t been crucial. They had doctors on stand-by to treat cuts, shallow weapon wounds and all those that could be taken care of easily.
A small figure caught his attention, pacing back and forth by the ICU.
Lynette.
He ran towards her, his hope dying out with each step. Lynette had changed a lot and didn’t carry her heart on her sleeve anymore, but that, too, seemed to have changed at that moment. She felt someone’s presence and turned around, facing the Capo. Her eyes were full of worry but flashed with a dangerous expression as she registered who it was in front of her.
With a swing, she punched Noah, taking him by surprise. Only barely keeping himself standing under the strength had Lynette put into the move. "You’re a motherfucking dick!" she yelled, not caring about the other people in the hall. However, their attention was more on Noah’s bloody clothes anyway.
"How is she?" he asked.
"How is she? Are you fucking kidding me? I should be the one asking you this!" Pause. The girl took a few deep breaths before continuing. "She’s being operated on. She hit the floor and couldn’t move because of an old back injury. I don’t know anything more right now."
Noah finally realized how bad of a situation it was. It wasn’t a wound from a blade or a bullet that had ripped through her body. It was something that had been a scar from her childhood, and now, because of him, the wound ripped open again. And it was all his fault for making her work as a spy, for getting her involved with him in the first place. Forever trusting that he could keep her safe. His actions had become so poisonous to those around him that there was no saying whether the girl he loved would survive them.
Yes, he loved her. She was the most important person in his life. And even though he’d tried to deny his feelings time and time again, now that seemed useless. Whatever denial he concocted would be nothing more than a lie he was trying to make himself believe in.
Entering that goddamned room had been like a knife rimmed into his heart. It was punishment for Noah if he had ever seen one. And Inéz got hurt by default. Rescuing her hadn’t been enough. Now he finally realized it.
He’d never wanted something as much as he wanted her, but he knew that the monster in him would never really deserve her. Presently, he wasn’t even certain that he would get the chance to right his wrongs, and become the person the girl needed.
It didn’t take long for both Issac and Drew to barge into the waiting area. Their faces held concern as they advanced. While Isaac had stayed in Noah’s office in case mafioso needed help with anything, Drew had come into the building after his Capo but had stayed in another part, dealing with the other guards Gastone had placed. He wasn’t skilled enough yet to be given harder tasks, so his place had been beside Elio, who had been and probably still was in total shock about the whole plot with Inéz. Besides, both men were too close to the people involved and had to be kept away from the direct line of fire.
"What happened?" asked Drew, clearly fighting the urge to bust through the ICU doors. It didn’t take a genius to know that the girl must be somewhere behind them. And it made him even more restless.
Noah looked at him but didn’t answer. As Lynette was about to explain, the doors opened and one of the nurses emerged. Looking around she came up to the girl who had been there with Inéz from the start.
"You’re family with Miss Díez?" she asked, however, as she spotted Noah coming closer, she could already figure out the answer to the question. None of them was family, but she was to speak up nonetheless.
Lynette nodded even though it wasn’t necessary anymore. "Miss Díez is still being operated. Her condition is severe. She had trouble breathing on her own and that is still one of the main problems. We don’t know if her heart will hold up for the rest of the surgery, however, we are doing everything we can," she stated and returned to the operating area.
No one talked after that. They waited for several hours to hear any news about Inéz. The longer it took, the worse ideas started appe
aring in their minds. Noah had half a mind to march in there and yell at the doctors to save her life. But he’d done enough damage for a while so he tried to stay as calm as possible.
After an hour Flavio showed up with Elio, reporting on Gastone’s whereabouts and the death of all his other associates. But no one really cared at the moment, least of all the Capo himself. That man had ruined his life enough as it was, and he wouldn’t waste another minute on him if it meant that Inéz would get better. Nothing else mattered.
Close to midnight, one of the doctors emerged. His eyes flashed with tiredness as a few drops of sweat ran down the side of his face. It wasn’t surprising after an almost seven-hour-long surgery. However, there was no hint of relief in his expression.
They all came up to the man, waiting for him to say something.
"Miss Díez suffered a blow to the thoracic nerves of her spine. This caused troubles with breathing and cardiac arrest. However, we were able to resuscitate her. There was also internal bleeding, so the next few hours will be crucial. She will be monitored closely in case of another heart arrest as the pulse is still weak, so it is, unfortunately, a possibility. Thankfully, her spine didn’t break. It fractured and until she’s awake we have no way of knowing how much long-term damage that might have caused," he explained.
"What long-term damage are you talking about?" asked Lynette.
"Hard to say. The most common one is a total loss of movement or at least partial one." the man added. "From what I heard she had an accident a while ago, right?"
Drew and Isaac nodded immediately. "It was a lower back injury. She went through rehabilitation and took pain meds for a few years," Isaac furthered.
They had both learned exactly how the injury in her childhood had been taken care of, and right now they couldn’t be more thankful for knowing it. In cases like this, it came in handy. Especially since Francisco was nowhere near.
The doctor grunted with worry. "Did the pain leave? And do you know maybe the extent of it?"
"She said that the pain was never unbearable unless she was putting too much pressure on her back. However, it was there all the same. It disappeared five years ago completely," Drew stated. He frowned because those questions required specific answers, so it wasn’t just the man’s curiosity talking. "Why? What’s wrong?"
"That injury caused problems in her lumbar spine, and one of the repercussions of this can be felt in her sexual organs. This pain that she has felt throughout the years, was most likely radiating from her reproductive organs. We will examine it further, but it looks like she will be unable to have a child."
Noah grew pale. To think how much pain and suffering Inéz had been through was like a punch in the guts. The anger towards her father had increased, and he knew that if it wasn’t for the girl’s acceptance of the man’s past mistakes, he would make a trip to Spain to mete. Still, he wasn’t sure whether her not being able to conceive was already known by her, or not. And this made him realize how little he knew about the girl.
CHAPTER 46
Noah knocked on the door of the hospital room where Inéz had been taken to after the long surgery. No answer. He slowly walked in, trying to be quiet as the girl could still be sleeping. However, it surprised him to see her lying in bed cuddled up into the sheets with tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, and as she looked up at him, they flashed with anxiety.
He breathed out. There were literally no words he could say to make her feel better. She hadn’t been a part of the underworld for long but had got to experience the most terrifying part of it just because she got involved with the Capo who had more enemies than supporters. It was his fault, and it made him feel even guiltier. If not for him, Inéz would have never been initiated, worked for him as a spy, or even become someone special in his life.
"I can’t, Noah," she whispered.
There was something in that whisper, a heart-wrenching pain behind it. He watched Inéz’s eyes, and he knew. It wasn’t the first time she indicated something was terribly wrong. Numerous moments flashed in his mind. He hadn’t listened. He’d been so consumed by the business that he hadn’t realized people were suffering because of his decisions. As Capo dei capi he should put his Famiglia’s interests above all, but hadn’t stopped to think that Inéz was now a part of it and he should have counted her well-being too. He wouldn’t care that much about a random soldier, however, she was a girl and an extremely important one to him at that. But he had failed her in so many ways it was horrifying.
He moved closer, sitting on the chair next to her bed. Reaching out for her palm, he lightly brushed his fingers on her skin. With the operation she’d had, she would be very sore for some time, and Noah didn’t want to do something that could bring her additional pain.
He smiled slightly. "You don’t have to do anything right now, cara," he said, without realizing what the girl really meant.
Ever since they met four years ago, there had been a strong pull between them, even though they hadn’t spent a lot of time together. After all those years, it seemed like nothing had really changed. It had even increased. Inéz had started to come out of her shell of uncertainty and grow into a woman who was proud of who she was, and the way she carried herself. She stopped carrying about others’ opinions and accepted herself. She found home within the most dangerous organization in the world, which was ironic.
But Noah too had transformed into someone who would put his trust in someone else’s hands, believing that it was the right thing to do. He had opened himself up for a woman’s presence and didn’t allow the past experiences with his younger sister cloud his judgement anymore.
Both had been scarred by the past and had evolved into different people, better ones under each other’s influence. It was admirable.
However, the toxicity was still an obstacle. Inéz knew that now. And she didn’t know how to handle it without it getting into the way of their relationship.
"I deserve more than you can give me, Noah. I deserve to be everything that you need. Not only what you want. You clearly need your Famiglia, not me. You need power. I know it now. That means that you don’t deserve to get any part of me," she explained.
Color abandoned Noah’s face. "What do you mean?"
"I was prepared to do more than I should for you. I stayed in this job because I was so certain that it was what you needed, and that I should be able to handle something so important for you when you did so much for me. Everyone kept telling me to be careful but I decided to go all-in without checking the cards I had been dealt with. And that’s toxic."
Noah leaned in and kissed the corner of her lips. "There’s no such thing. I have never wanted you to be that committed to the task. Yes, it clouded my mind to think that you could finish it. But one word and I would have called everything off, cara."
"It doesn’t really matter what you would have done, because at the end I chose to do it for you time and time again. When Gastone started to get too touchy, Julian caught me eavesdropping, and Elio got suspicious of my real motives. I still stuck around. It didn’t change a thing that Nicodemo assured me that you would want me to be done after that time in the VIP room. I felt a duty towards you, not the Famiglia. You."
"I will never do anything like this again, Inéz. Just don’t leave me."
"I just need some time to think this all through. Please, understand me," she pleaded, hoping that she wouldn’t change her mind in a matter of seconds. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done. To let go when she so badly wanted to hold on. Because she had been raised to overcome obstacles. To fight when there was even the slightest hope. But she had to stay strong and keep her promise.
Right now, he wasn’t surprised that she wanted some time away from him. For the very first time, he wasn’t going to push his will through just because of who he was. It didn’t work like that. And even though it was killing him on the inside, he squeezed Inéz’s hand lightly, placing a kiss on her forehead, and stepped out of the room
before he would say or do something that he would regret.
It was punishment for Noah, of it he was sure. To want something as much as he wanted her, but to know that the monster in him would never really deserve it.
§ § §
Two months went by so quickly that Inéz couldn’t even put her finger on the exact moments when she left the hospital, started feeling physically better while going to rehabilitation once again, or strong enough to try going back to the usual routine that she’d had in Seattle. But the truth was, she didn’t care enough about any of that to pay attention as emotionally she was still a mess. Even though she did everything possible to stop thinking about Noah, and start focusing on herself. Flavio had arranged for her to keep working in the Famiglia’s name with one of the senators from Las Vegas as they were trying to keep an eye on the political side and increase their influence. And with Inéz’s experience, it was the right fit. However, it was not seeing Noah since he had come to her hospital room that kept her from actually being able to start fresh.
At one point she would have to see him again. He was her Capo and had every right to command her just as he did all other soldiers. It was only his willingness to give her some space that made him involve his brother and got him to work with Inéz instead. And she was grateful. But, unfortunately, when she looked at Flavio it didn’t change much. What was worse, seeing Isaac or Drew was also not good for her, but she wouldn’t tell them that. Strangely, Anastasia had visited her a couple of times which had been refreshing. They were both trying to fit into the world of the Las Vegas Famiglia and still continue to be themselves. And Inéz couldn’t be more grateful to Flavio for bringing her, although she wished that the girl would be allowed to join her family in New York.
