Covet thy Neighbor

by Denise Carbo

  “True.” Lucinda pouts and then turns towards the living area where everyone else sits. “Oh well, let’s get this party started.”

  I’ve never been in the apartment before. Lucinda has only lived here a couple of months, but she’s put her stamp on it. Silver walls and comfy white furniture fill the space. That furniture wouldn’t last a day in my house with the boys. An area rug with purple, lavender, and varying shades of gray sits under the couch and chairs. A few abstract paintings decorate the walls.

  Barbara waves hello and pats the couch next to her, so I smile at everyone as I weave between the extra chairs set up and plop down next to her.

  Lucinda sits in one of the chairs and taps on her glass. “Shall we begin, ladies?”

  I scoot forward to the end of the couch cushion. “Do you mind if I ask for your opinions on something first? It’s not book-related.”

  Murmurs of assent drift around the room.

  I recant the exchange between Jill and I. There are several nods and shaking heads. “Here’s the thing, as a former stay-at-home mother I confess to having one or two unkind thoughts of working mothers when they made a comment or flat out asked what I did all day. I interpreted it as judgment against me and basically calling me spoiled and lazy—two things I have never considered myself. Then as I’m mulling over her comment referring to me as a working mother, I find myself thinking she gets to stay at home all day, getting her household in order while I’m at a job and I have to get all my household responsibilities done in the early morning or late at night.” I slouch back against the couch and throw up my hands. “What the hell is wrong with me? Am I total bitch?”

  Denials fill the room.

  “It’s human nature.” Rebecca crosses her legs. “We want what we don’t have. And unfortunately, as women, we have a nasty tendency to compare ourselves to other women and find us lacking in some way. You’re not a bitch, Olivia. I, on the other hand, am and I’m proud of it.” She raises her glass high amidst the laughter circulating the room.

  “As a working mother of a toddler, I feel tremendous guilt whenever I miss out on Joey accomplishing a milestone when I’m not there to witness it.” Barbara frowns and glances around the room. “I have to work, but even if I didn’t, I don’t think I would choose not to. I feel guilty over that too.”

  “Our mother stayed home, but she didn’t volunteer at school or anything.” Lucinda takes a drink of her wine. “I think I can speak for both Franny and I and say that it would have been nice if she left for a job and focused on something besides us once in a while.”

  Franny nods and laughs along with the rest of us.

  “I’m not a mother, but I think as women we need to stop competing against one another and start supporting and lifting one another up.” Monica lifts her glass. “I propose a toast. Instead of judging others and ourselves, we celebrate the fact that we’re all doing our best and we’re one hell of a group of kick ass women.”

  “Here, here!”

  “Hallelujah!”

  “Damn straight!”

  Lucinda claps her hands. “Okay, what did you all think of the book?”

  She chose a compilation of couples’ first meetings as the book of the month. The stories ranged from sweet to awful, and some were hilarious. We chat about the book and the individual stories as we sample the treats from the bakery Lucinda has spread out on her glass coffee table.

  “All right, we’ve discussed the book. I want to hear all of your first dates.” Lucinda sits back and crosses her legs. “I’ll even go first.”

  I place my wine glass down and lean forward with my arms folded over my legs.

  “I met my soon to be ex-husband in college at a sorority party. He asked me for my number and because he was charming and handsome, I gave it to him. Obviously, a mistake on my part. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to go back and tell him no or skip the party all together.”

  Lucinda turns to Franny on her left. “Your turn, although I already know the answer.”

  Franny sighs. “Mitch and I met on the beach when we were kids. We were inseparable every summer when his parents returned to Granite Cove.”

  After a round of “aw” circles the room, Franny looks at Rebecca.

  “I’m single. So…” Rebecca looks over to Sally on my right. “Next.”

  “You may be single now, but what about a first meeting for your most recent relationship?”

  Rebecca glances at Lucinda and frowns. A blush steals over her cheeks.

  “Now we really want to know.” Monica laughs and grabs a cookie from the platter.

  After the laughter dies down, Rebecca taps her high heeled shoe against the bottom of her foot as it dangles in the air and stares at the floor. “It was a one-night stand involving too much alcohol and poor decision-making skills. I’m not proud of the lapse in judgment and prefer to forget it ever happened.”

  “Moving on to me then.” Sally closes her eyes and smiles. “I met my Herbert on a blind date. My cousin set us up. He brought me flowers and took me to dinner. We talked for hours. He called the very next day and we were married within a year.”

  I reach over and pat her hand when her eyes get misty. “I’m afraid mine isn’t very interesting. My ex-husband and I met in a Philosophy class my freshman year of college.” I glance to Barbara. “Your turn.”

  She giggles. “I met Wyatt on a date with his brother, Luke.”

  Say what now?

  Barbara glances at me and winces. “Luke and I were at a restaurant having dinner. Wyatt walked up to our table and ended up joining us. We couldn’t take our eyes off of one another. That was it, love at first sight.”

  Poor Luke. That must have been awful having his brother steal his girl. A painful hitch catches in my chest. The likelihood of Luke carrying a torch for Barbara just jumped into the most likely category. He’d dated her so obviously he’d been attracted to her. He followed her here. Was he hoping to get another chance with her?

  Was he killing time with me while he waited for her to get over Wyatt?

  Monica and Tina both talk about their firsts, but I don’t hear them.

  Oli warned me something was going on with Luke and Barbara. My own instincts had nudged me. Here was undeniable proof. Why didn’t I listen?

  At least I found out before my heart got involved. One date and a make out session aren’t enough to fall in love over. We were just having fun. So what if he took care of me when I was sick? He’s a caregiver type of guy.

  I stand and walk over to the window facing the lake. The room and my face reflect back. I look past both to the darkness of the lake.

  A tightness pulls at my skin.

  I may not have fallen head over heels, but I had passed the deep like stage and hurdled right into the raging attraction stage.

  Damn it!

  What was wrong with me that guys always chose to love someone else?

  Tears fill my eyes. I swallow hard and press my tongue against the edge of my teeth.

  One of the many reasons Ryan’s mother never deemed me good enough for him was because she adored his high school girlfriend and hoped they would reconcile. She even called her his soul mate in front of me while we were married.

  I thought they might get back together after we separated. I know he’s still in touch with her because their families are close. Had he tried, but she’d already moved on? Was he asking me to give us another chance because he hadn’t found anyone else?

  Should I do the same?

  “Hey, everything okay?”

  Franny appears at my shoulder.

  “Yeah, it’s just been a long week—month—year.”

  “That doesn’t sound good, it’s only Monday. What’s up?”

  I force a chuckle and rub my forehead. Glancing over, I see everyone else occupied in conversation. “Ryan dropped the bombshell he wants to give our relationship another chance.”

  “Wow!”

  “Yeah, I told him I’d think about it.”


  “Really?”

  I turn and prop my shoulder against the wall. “What does that mean?”

  “It means you didn’t say no outright so there’s a possibility. I thought you said you were better as friends?”

  “I didn’t know what to say. He shocked the hell out of me.”

  “I bet.”

  “It’s not like it’s a crazy idea. I mean he is the father of my children.”

  “So, you’re thinking about it for the kids’ sake?”

  I shrug a shoulder. “Maybe—I don’t know. We were supposed to have lunch and discuss it, but he had to go to Boston for a meeting instead.”

  “What about your neighbor? Aren’t you dating him?”

  “You mean Luke, who dated Barbara and never said a word? The man who followed her to another state when she moved? Who probably is just waiting for his chance at her again?”

  Franny opens her mouth and then closes it. “I was surprised when she said she dated him.”

  “Me too.”

  “It doesn’t mean he’s been pining for her all these years though. I’m the queen of jumping to conclusions. Trust me on this. Ask him.”

  “What? Just come out and ask him if he’s in love with her?”

  Franny lifts her shoulders. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

  I snort and roll my eyes. “Oh, I’m sure plenty of terrible things can happen. I don’t think we’re at the point of asking questions like that.”

  “When is the right time to ask if he’s in love with someone else? When you’re already in love with him?”

  I wince.

  “You’re not, are you?”

  I shake my head and look back towards the window.

  Franny leans closer to me. “Olivia?”

  Glancing back, I wrap my arms around my waist. “I have feelings for him. I really didn’t enjoy hearing they dated.”

  “Then you need to talk to him before it goes any further. As for Ryan, I suggest you take it slow. You just said you have feelings for Luke. Don’t make any hasty decisions.”

  “What are you two whispering about?” Sally approaches us with a frown.

  Franny smiles. “Are you leaving already, Sally?”

  “Yes, I can’t stay up late anymore. Those days are behind me.”

  “I’ll walk you out.”

  Franny glances over. “You’re leaving?”

  “Yeah, I’m tired. Will you give my goodbyes?”

  “Sure.”

  Lucinda walks over as Sally and I turn to the door. “Wait! We have to decide who’s hosting next month and what book we need to read.”

  Barbara holds up her hand. “If no one objects, I’d like to volunteer.”

  Lucinda glances around the room and when no one else chimes in she grins. “I think it’s all yours. Have you decided on a book?”

  “I sure have. Dark Demons by L.H. Morgan. He happens to be my brother-in-law.” She stares at me.

  I smile and look away right into Franny’s wide-eyed stare. Yup, all sorts of complications cropping up.

  Was Barbara wondering if I knew Luke is a writer? Or maybe she’s warning me away and making it clear he’s hers.

  “Good night everyone.” I open the door for Sally and follow her out on to the landing. My head pounds. Franny is right. I need to think things through and not make any decisions yet.

  Chapter 25

  “Hey, need help?”

  The back of my head hits the ceiling of my car and I wince. Luckily, it’s covered in a soft material so I’m not likely to do any damage. I push the green tote of groceries onto the back seat and reverse myself out of the car with as much dignity as I can muster, which probably resembles a lurching goat rather than the graceful move I intended.

  Luke stands next to the grocery cart holding the last of my bags.

  “Thanks.” I snatch it from him and practically toss it in the car. It falls on its side and a box of tampons tumbles onto the floor. Of course. I grimace and slam the door shut.

  No solutions have miraculously popped into my brain since book club last night. I tossed and turned most of the night. Luke and Barbara are only one of many problems swimming around in my head.

  It’s not like we’re even a couple, let alone an exclusive relationship. I haven’t talked to him in a week.

  “Getting ready for Thanksgiving?” He nods towards the groceries in the back of my car.

  “Um, yeah, kind of. I’m making a couple of pies, blueberry and apple. My mom hosts the dinner. How about you?”

  “Barb invited me over to her parents’ house.”

  Of course she did, it makes perfect sense. They are family. It doesn’t mean either one is necessarily pining away for the other.

  “That’s good.” I lean against the side of my car and fold my arms across my waist. “Are you grocery shopping?”

  He glances over his shoulder at the store. The large glass front of the entrance has a Thanksgiving scene painted on it complete with turkeys and pilgrims. All the cashiers and deli workers are wearing turkey hats to work too. “Just wanted to grab a few things. I need to stock up on mac and cheese and juice boxes for Joey. I’m watching him while Barb works later.”

  I smile. “I’m sure he’s looking forward to hanging out with his uncle.”

  He shrugs. “He’s a great kid.”

  “Barbara is lucky to have such a helpful brother-in-law.”

  Luke looks around the parking lot. “I didn’t think the store would be so busy in the middle of the day.”

  Okay, he’s not going to respond to that conversation topic, apparently. “It’s not usually, but it’s the holiday season and the weather report called for snow, so everyone panics and stocks up on the essentials.”

  He glances up at the sky and I follow his gaze. It’s gray and overcast. There is a chill to the air. We’ll probably get a few inches by morning.

  “I might get a chance to use the new snowblower I bought.”

  “Is it going to replace your love for your lawnmower for the season? Have you been having withdrawal?”

  He smirks and drags his gaze back down to mine. “I have been itching to test it out. Barb’s dad has someone plow his driveway for him and doesn’t understand why I don’t do the same. Of course, he hires a landscape service to take care of his lawn too. He doesn’t get the draw of a good machine.”

  “We had book club last night. Barbara is hosting next month and chose one of your books. I’m looking forward to reading it.”

  “Yeah, she told me she was going to do that.” He stuffs his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

  “She also mentioned you and she dated before her and Wyatt.”

  He stares a moment before looking away. A truck pulls into an empty spot two spaces down from my car. “It was one date and she left with Wyatt.”

  “That must have been awkward.”

  He lifts one shoulder. “It is what it is.”

  What does that mean?

  Here goes nothing. “Are you in love with her?”

  His eyes narrow. “Are you seriously asking me if I’m pining after my brother’s wife?”

  “Yes, I suppose I am. It might be none of my business, but we have been heavily flirting with each other and I would like to know if your heart already belongs to someone else. I’m not looking to be someone’s stand in or second choice.”

  “Barb is my brother’s wife, that’s it.”

  “Widow.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You keep referring to her as his wife, but she’s his widow. Are you calling her that because you’re trying to remind yourself she’s off limits?”

  “This is ridiculous.” He put his hands on the handle of the cart.

  “Is it? Why? Would you still say it’s ridiculous if Barbara was interested in you romantically?”

  Luke rears his head back and then scans the parking lot. “Did she say something to you?”

  Wow! Was that hope? Why else would he be wondering if
she said something to indicate interest?

  “I guess that’s my answer, isn’t it?”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “It means you do have feelings for her and I’m wasting my time.” I push off my car and walk around the back and over to the driver’s side door. “Look, I have no idea what Barbara’s feelings are. I would suggest you be honest with her concerning yours though.”

  “You have no clue what you’re talking about.”

  “Maybe not. Maybe I’m paranoid. Maybe I have an overactive imagination. Or maybe, you’re the one not being honest about your feelings. Something you should think on.”

  I open the door and rest my arm along the top. “You didn’t deny anything, Luke. Denial would have been your first reaction if there wasn’t any truth behind my suspicions.”

  The cart rattles and shakes as he spins it around to face me.

  “Ask yourself why you’re so angry right now.”

  He slices his gaze over to mine. “You know, you’re acting awfully self-righteous about my feelings and motives for someone who has spending a heck of a lot of time with her ex lately. What about your feelings for him? You don’t see me demanding an explanation.”

  “Maybe you should. If you had asked, I would have answered honestly. Ryan wants to reconcile. I told him I would consider the possibility.”

  “So that’s what this is really about. You want excuses to take him back. Don’t dump shit on me to manufacture reasons. I’m not standing in your way at all. Don’t use our nonexistent relationship as an excuse.”

  He pushes the cart out from between my car and the next.

  “No, that’s not what this is about, but you go ahead and avoid the tough questions. Run away.”

  He doesn’t stop. I climb into the car and slam the door. My hands shake as I grab the keys and stuff them into the ignition.

  He wouldn’t have been angry if he didn’t have feelings for her, right? He wouldn’t have attacked me over Ryan if he wasn’t trying to deflect attention to my feelings, not his. And if he really gave a damn about me possibly getting back together with Ryan, he would have said something, wouldn’t he?

  I drop my head to the steering wheel. Nonexistent relationship?