Kaarina: Rejected (Viking Guardians Book 2)

by Kaitlynn Clarkson

  “May I ask you a question, Sigrid?” she asked the pretty blonde girl as she sat at her loom.

  Sigrid looked surprised. “Of course.”

  “I want to ask you about your God. What is he the god of? War? Prosperity? Or something else?”

  Sigrid looked thoughtful. “He is the only God we believe in,” she said. “So He is the God of everything. We believe that He created the world and that He loves the people in it.”

  “Loves them?” This was news to Kaarina. She’d never heard of a god that loved people. Most gods ignored mortals or demanded sacrifices as appeasement.

  “Yes. He has a son that He sent to this earth.”

  “I thought you said He was alone.”

  “We believe that He and His son are one. Kind of like the two faces of a coin.”

  That made sense, so Kaarina moved on to something else she’d thought of. “Why did the son come to the earth?” she asked. “Where did he live before?”

  “He lived in heaven, in the sky. After they created the earth, they intended that it would be governed by their laws, which cannot be changed.”

  Kaarina was familiar with the laws of the land and figured it worked something like that. “So what happened? Why did he need to come to the earth?”

  Sigrid paused, thinking about how to explain her story in a way that Kaarina would understand. “Things went wrong on the earth,” she said. “There was an evil foe and he caused the people of the earth to break the laws of God. The penalty for breaking the laws was death.”

  Kaarina gasped. “This God sounds harsh,” she said.

  “There’s more to the story,” Sigrid said. “I’m getting to the best part.”

  “Tell me,” Kaarina begged.

  “This God was sad about what had happened on the earth. He did not want all the people to die. So he and the son came up with a plan. The son would go to the earth and die as a substitute for the people and the father would accept his life for theirs.”

  “But why would they do that?”

  “Because they loved the people. They did not want anyone to die.”

  “So what happened?”

  “They carried out the plan. Jesus, the son, came to the earth and died. Then he was able to offer his death as a gift to anyone who would accept him in their place.”

  “I can’t believe a god would do that,” Kaarina marveled. “Who is this gift for? Christians?”

  “It is available to anyone,” Sigrid said. “All of us need it. None of us can keep God’s laws on our own and death awaits us all.”

  Kaarina thought about all the times that she had done things that she knew were not right. “I like this God of yours,” she said. “I think I will continue to pray to him.”

  She couldn’t stop thinking about a God who loved her instead of ignoring her or harming her if she failed to do what he wished. It was a difficult concept to understand but she was determined to know what made the Christians different from her own people. She was certain that their God had something to do with it.

  “Sigrid!” Kaarina called as Sigrid walked up to the family’s vegetable garden. “Wait! I’m coming to help you!”

  Sigrid waited until Kaarina had caught up. Since Kaarina had expressed an interest in the Christians’ God, their friendship had changed. They were closer and Sigrid shared more.

  “I wanted to ask you something,” Kaarina said.

  Sigrid grinned. This was how their conversations usually started. Kaarina was hungry to know more about their lifestyle and their faith. “Ask, then,” she said.

  “Why did your people come to this land?” she asked. “Was it something to do with your faith?”

  “I was born here in this land but my parents came here from Alemannia,” Sigrid replied. “You are right. They came because here they can freely practice their faith.”

  “Why could they not practice it in their homeland?”

  Sigrid paused, trying to think of an answer that would make sense to Kaarina. “It became difficult after the rulers of the land banned worship on the seventh day. The first day of the week is the official day of worship.”

  “Why does it matter? Could you not just worship on the first day?”

  “We believe that it matters to God. We follow the example of Jesus and the apostles in worshipping on the seventh day.”

  “Oh. That makes sense, then,” Kaarina said. If the Christians’ God required a particular day for worship, why would anyone argue with Him?

  “So our parents came to this land where we can worship as we please,” Sigrid finished.

  They reached the garden and bent to pull weeds out of the onion patch.

  “Thank you for answering my questions,” Kaarina said. “I like this God of yours. I think I might like to follow Him.”

  “Would you be willing to follow Him instead of the gods of your people?”

  “Ha. They have done nothing for me,” Kaarina said tartly. “All they do is demand things or ignore us. This God of yours is much more attractive.”

  “Then, we must speak to the pfaffo,” Sigrid said. “If you are serious about becoming a Christian, he will tell you what you must do.”

  Excitement tingled through Kaarina’s veins as she looked at the beautiful sunny day outside. It was warm and calm, a perfect sambaztag. She’d been worshipping on the seventh day with the Christians over the past few weeks and it had become her favorite day of the week.

  But today was extra special. Today was the day of her dwahal when she would commit to following the Christians’ God.

  Sigrid came over early to see her. “I brought you this,” she said, holding out an exquisitely embroidered robe. “Put it on.”

  Kaarina slid the beautiful garment over her head. It was a perfect fit.

  “You are a beautiful westibarn,” she said, hugging Kaarina. “If only Landwulf could be here to see you now!”

  Kaarina felt a shaft of pain slice through her heart. “He has probably found a wife by now,” she said.

  “If it means anything to you, I did not agree with my parents’ decision to send him away,” Sigrid said softly. “I could see that the two of you would have been happy together.”

  “It still hurts my heart,” Kaarina admitted. “But I am happy that I found your God to love me instead.”

  “You are stronger than I would be,” Sigrid said. “My life has been easier than yours.” She straightened the robe across Kaarina’s shoulders. “But now is not the time to be sad over what might have been. Now is the time to rejoice! Come, everyone will be gathering on the beach by now.”

  They walked down to the beach where the villagers were gathering in small groups. The waves rolled lazily onto the shore, propelled by a gentle swell. It was the perfect day for a baptism. Kaarina still had a lingering fear of the ocean but she was determined to push it aside to go ahead with the ceremony that would show the world that she had accepted Jesus’ offer to cleanse her of her sins.

  The pfaffo spotted her and came over. “Are you ready, Kaarina?” he asked kindly. “We shall walk into the water together. You may hold my arm to steady yourself if you wish.”

  Kaarina took his arm, glad to have him to cling to as she faced her fear of the water. Together they waded in up to their waists. The water was cool but not unbearable.

  “So now, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit,” the pfaffo said, raising his arm high over his head.

  A moment later, he lowered her gently under the water. She tried not to panic as the water closed over her face, instead trying to concentrate on the thought of having her sins washed away. A second later, the pfaffo raised her again and the worshipers on the shore started to sing a hymn of victory.

  Kaarina felt a sense of peace, unlike anything she’d ever experienced in her life. No matter what happened from now on, she knew that God would be with her and she felt herself relaxing into His loving arms.

  CHAPTER 10

  L andwulf grinned and tapped
his foot. The lively rhythms of the fiddle, the psaltery and the rebec made him want to dance. He caught the eye of one of the fiddlers and smiled; the man smiled back, enjoying the pleasure his music brought to the crowd. The wooden floor of the barn resounded as the happy crowd stomped and swayed to the music.

  Life had been good since he’d been at Alahsan. He’d met three pretty girls, Emma, Adelina and Gerhild, and now he was attending a wedding. He’d already danced with all three girls during one of the energetic dances.

  Emma, in particular, seemed to think he was special. He knew her family had high hopes that she would become his bride. He looked over the crowd to see if he could spot her and saw her on the other side of the room, her fair cheeks flushed with laughter and exertion. Blonde tendrils escaped from beneath her kapfa and her blue eyes sparkled with happiness. He thought of the times that he’d visited her family’s home. She had been the perfect hostess, attending to his every need and serving him delicious food that she’d cooked herself. His parents would surely be pleased if he were to bring her back to the village as his bride. In their eyes, she would be perfect for him.

  “Landwulf!”

  His new friend Gerbold interrupted his thoughts.

  “Get up and dance. Are you weak?” Gerbold challenged.

  Landwulf grinned and made his way onto the crowded dance floor, where he stomped and clapped enthusiastically along with the crowd. There was no ale or mead at this wedding but no one needed it. They were happy just to have fun together.

  It wasn’t long before Landwulf found himself opposite Emma. She smiled up at him with her beautiful blue eyes and he knew that she would be expecting him to make a declaration of his intentions towards her. That was the way it happened among his people.

  All of a sudden, the enormity of that decision hit him with full force. Once a young man had declared his interest in a woman, it was almost as if they were betrothed. The families didn’t take kindly to young men who didn’t treat courting seriously. A young man had to be completely certain that he was willing to follow through with marriage if he started to court a woman. It was a big step to take and Landwulf knew that he wasn’t ready to take it. He mumbled an excuse to Emma and left the dance floor for the relative peace outside the building.

  “God, I don’t know what to do,” he prayed out loud as he walked away from the noisy gathering. “Emma wants me to court her and her family expects it. Mine would be delighted. But the truth is, I just cannot see myself loving her.” His thoughts strayed to Kaarina and he wished he could see her again. “Emma is a good girl,” he muttered to himself, speaking aloud as he tried to untangle the knotty problem in his mind. “She would make a fine wife. And my parents would approve.” He kicked at a rock on the road and watched it roll into the grass. “It has been fun to get to know her and the other girls. But that is where it ends. Fun is not enough to base the rest of my life on and I can’t love her. She is not Kaarina.”

  As he spoke the words, he suddenly realized what he needed to do. He needed to leave before social customs dictated that he declare an interest in Emma, thus trapping him into a marriage that he didn’t want. He needed to go home, stand up for Kaarina and their love, and respectfully convince his parents that finding a wife was his decision. His mind made up, he turned to go back to the festivities. He would tell Emma tomorrow that he was leaving to go home.

  “Kaarina!” Eira ran to catch up with her friend as she walked towards Leyna’s house with another basket of eggs.

  Kaarina stopped to wait for her friend. “It is a beautiful day for a walk and it has been days since we’ve seen each other. Come, join me while I take these eggs to Leyna.”

  “Actually, I came to share some news with you,” Eira said seriously.

  “What news could be worth such a hurry?”

  “Landwulf is back.”

  Kaarina’s golden olive skin went pale. “Did he bring his bride with him?”

  Eira shook her head. “No. But he has started to build his own house at the other end of the village.”

  “That can only mean one thing. He is planning to marry and bring her here once the house has been built.”

  “Oh, Kaarina, I am so sorry,” Eira said, putting her arm around her friend. “No one in the family has said anything about it. It seems to be a subject they do not speak of. Or perhaps they don’t want me to hear what they say about it.”

  “I shall have to endure seeing her with Landwulf,” Kaarina mourned. “It shall forever remind me of what might have been.”

  “I am sorry,” Eira said again. “It would be a difficult thing to endure, I agree.”

  “I’m not sure I can face making small talk with Leyna right now,” Kaarina said. “Please, will you take her these eggs? She has some cheese for Emiline.”

  “Of course. I shall take it to Emiline and tell her that you felt the need for some fresh air.”

  “Thank you, Eira. Your friendship means a lot to me.”

  Kaarina turned and made her way to the seashore. She decided to walk away from the village in case she happened to meet Landwulf. She wasn’t ready to face him again and hear him tell of the bride who would soon be joining him in their village.

  Landwulf whistled as he prepared the land for his new home. He pictured living there with Kaarina, raising a family, and being happy together. He wondered where Kaarina was. He’d been home for over a week now and she still hadn’t come over to see Eira as was her custom. He could’ve gone over to see her himself but he wanted to surprise her with the news that he was building a house. It would be better to wait until he had something to show her. After today, at least there would be foundations. He set to work with renewed energy, trying to fit as much as he could into the day. He thought about the conversation he’d had with his parents after he came home.

  “So you returned alone,” Minna had said, a trace of disapproval in her tone.

  “Yes, Mother. Remember the agreement we made?”

  “Did you not find a suitable wife among our people?” she asked.

  “I met several pretty girls, Mother.”

  “Well, why is one of them not your bride?”

  “Mother, I am a man now. I will marry the bride of my choosing. Or I shall not marry at all.”

  Minna gasped. “You cannot be serious! Of course, you will marry!”

  “No, Mother. I will not. Not if it means that I must marry someone that I do not love.”

  Minna had given in then. “Very well,” she said quietly. “I can see that your mind is made up. Do as you see fit.”

  “Then we shall not have this conversation again?”

  “No, I will say no more.”

  “Thank you, Mother. I intend to start building myself a house at the end of the village.”

  “So a bride is waiting for you to build her a house?”

  “No, Mother. But if there ever is a bride, I shall be ready to provide for her.”

  And so it was that Landwulf found himself spending every spare moment constructing his house. He was so busy that he hardly had time to notice that Kaarina seemed to be avoiding him. Once, he’d seen her across the road. He’d called her name but she’d given him a little wave and ducked inside. He dismissed the nagging feeling that something was wrong; she was probably just hurrying on an errand for Emiline.

  But by the time the second week had passed, the nagging feeling had become a jarring discord in the harmony of his days. He’d tried to go to Emiline’s house to see Kaarina, but Emiline said she’d gone for a walk. Another day, he tried again; this time, Emiline said that Kaarina was busy and couldn’t come to talk to him. He was beginning to get alarmed and frustrated as he found every attempt to see her thwarted.

  On the seventh day, when the work ceased, Landwulf had time to reflect on his labors. He went to the worship service at the dingstat in the center of the village. It was good to be worshiping in his home village again. He only wished that Kaarina could be with them. If she were there, he would look acro
ss the room to where the women sat and catch her eye. She would smile and blush, hoping that no one would notice the look that passed between them. It would be the best feeling on earth to see her face shining with love for him, the same kind of love he had for her.

  His daydreams were interrupted by the end of the service. They sang a hymn then filed out into the bright daylight to go to their homes for the midday meal. The afternoon would be spent resting or visiting, caring for the sick or elderly, or making handicrafts to give to those in need. It was a rhythm of life that felt familiar and safe and Landwulf looked forward to the weekly rest day.

  But today, he felt restless. He wondered what Kaarina was doing. Whatever it was, it seemed unlikely that he would have any success in getting to see her. He decided to go for a walk along the beach to clear his head. Normally, he would ask his brothers if they wanted to come but today, he felt like being alone to sort out the turmoil swirling around in his mind. He set off quickly, walking away from the village, his head down. He hardly noticed the sunlight playing hide and seek with the clouds, turning the lazy sea from grey to green to grey again. The birds sang their hearts out, but he didn’t hear them, either. He was too busy wrestling with his problem. Why wouldn’t Kaarina talk to him? What could he do about it?

  CHAPTER 11

  K aarina sat on a log that had washed up on the beach, gazing out to sea. She had found this secluded little patch of beach on one of her long walks, well away from the village. She’d started to like the sea; it was always moving, always displaying different moods. This was her favorite place to come on the seventh day. Since Landwulf had returned home, she’d stopped going to the dingstat to worship with everyone else. She didn’t want to meet him or hear any gossip about his new bride.