“No problem at all, Little Red. So, how does it feel to finally be eighteen?”
I shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I don’t feel any different.” I looked around the room again and smiled at all the decorations. “I can’t believe you did all this for me.”
“Why not? You’re still my best friend.”
Yay me.
He draped his arm over my shoulder and led me over to the cake. My name was scrawled across the top in orange frosting, my favorite color.
“It’s lemon,” he said, smiling down at me.
I wasn’t big on baked goods, but I had a weakness for double lemon cake. It was amazing how he remembered all the little things. He really hadn’t changed. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” He bent his head and planted a kiss on my cheek, setting my skin ablaze.
I almost smiled until I remembered those lips I craved belonged to another. Dammit, it wasn’t fair.
“You okay?” His brows knitted together as he looked me over.
I forced a smile and nodded.
A throat cleared in the background. I’d forgotten Cam was even in the room. “I’m going to jump in the shower then I’ll be out of your hair.” She grabbed a change of clothes then disappeared into the bathroom.
Jay sat on the edge of my bed and patted the spot next to him.
I sat down, but left a good two feet between us even though all I wanted was to have his arms around me again.
He lifted an orange gift bag from the floor and handed it to me. “Happy birthday.”
I peeked in the bag, and couldn’t have contained my smile if I wanted to. I dug inside, and pulled out an assortment of DVDs. A few of them were my favorite movies, most of which I already owned, but I kept that to myself. On the bottom of the stack was a game. I glanced up at him then back to the case. He remembered.
“I wasn’t sure what to get you so I shopped for the old Gabi. Do you like it?”
I tackled him with a hug, squeezing his neck. “I love it.”
After letting him go, I held the Donkey Kong Country game to my chest. I was obsessed with the original until my younger brother had broken my SNES. The version Jay had gotten me was for Wii, but I’m sure it would be just as fun. “Thanks, Jay. I don’t have a Wii though, so we won’t be able to play it.”
“I have mine in my dorm. You can come over anytime and play it there.” His dark eyes met mine with the twinkle of a smile.
I dropped my gaze, smiling at the thought of hanging out with him more. Even though I couldn’t be with him, I still cherished our friendship, and I’d missed it. I’d take Cam’s advice and wait it out. Maybe one day...
In my day dreaming stupor, I almost missed him handing me something else. “You got me an iPod too?”
He chuckled. “No, goofy. I made a playlist for you. Do you have a dock?”
I nodded and pointed across the room. “What songs are on it?”
“You’ll see.” He went over to the stereo and placed his iPod into the docking station. “I remember you used to like music from the late 80’s and early 90’s so...” He pressed play and the beat to ‘Poison’ by Bell Biv Devoe blasted from the speakers.
I squealed and hopped up on the bed. “I love this song.”
Jay kicked off his sneakers and climbed up next to me. We jumped on the bed dancing and singing the lyrics just like when we were kids. And just like that our bond restored itself.
Whenever we’d done this at my house my mom would yell that we were too old to jump on the bed. I could sort of understand her point, especially after the time the bedframe broke and I almost busted my head open.
Cam emerged from the bathroom looking flawless as usual. She wore a pale yellow sundress that showed an abundance cleavage, so much in fact, that if she bent over everything just might come spilling out.
I gave a discreet glance at Jay and was happy to see that his eyes were on me and not Cam’s chest.
She looked up at us and shook her head. “Well kids, I’m off. Have fun, Gabi.” She gave me a sly wink before heading out the door.
Jay took my hand and twirled me around. “So what do you wanna do first? We can watch some movies, keep dancing, order some food, or stuff our faces with cake.”
I giggled while jumping and spinning at the same time. “Cake!”
“Cake it is.” He hopped down and went to grab it. After cutting us both huge pieces, he handed me mine and wandered back over to sit at the desk with his. “You’re going to keep jumping while you eat?”
“Yup.” I stuffed a forkful in my mouth and moaned. So good.
“Well, when you throw up make sure you aim that way.” He pointed behind me then turned to his cake.
Half way through the playlist, and a second piece of cake, I lay back on the bed rubbing my stomach and groaning.
Jay plopped down next to me and I thought for sure the cake would come spewing back out. “I tried to warn you.”
“Shut up, meany.” I stuck my tongue out and turned away from him.
He leaned over me, his face hovering over mine. “I can go get you some Pepto-Bismol if you want.” He rested his chin in my shoulder and rubbed my stomach for me. To him the act was innocent, at least I’m pretty sure it was. My thoughts however were not so pure. My shirt grazed my hardened nipples and the heat rushed between my legs.
Wiggling away from him, I sat up and pulled my knees to my chin. “I’m okay. Let’s watch a movie now.” Hopefully it would distract me from all the unintentional things he was doing to make me want him even more.
“Love & Basketball?”
“Actually I was thinking something with action.” A romantic movie probably wasn’t a good idea right now.
“I, Robot?”
I grinned. “That would be perfect.”
After putting the movie in, he came back and sat on the bed with his back against the headboard.
I stayed put.
“Best friend,” he sang. “Come sit with me.”
I scooted back until I was at his side, every part of us from our legs to our shoulders, touched.
He laid his arm over my shoulder again and pressed play. This was going to be a long movie. Everything he was doing were the same moves a guy would use when trying to get into a girl’s pants. Somehow I knew that wasn’t the case with Jay, which only made my feelings for him strengthen. “Hey, remember our late night movie sessions in high school?”
You mean the ones where you’d do the same thing you’re doing now and I’d spend the whole movie wishing you’d kiss me, but you never did? Yup, clear as day. “Yeah, I remember.”
He laughed while skipping through the previews. “You never paid attention. I used to have to rewind the movie like twenty times because you missed something.”
I closed my eyes for a minute, trying not to focus on his warm hand resting on my arm. The muscles in my back ached from sitting so stiff and his chest looked so comfy. It wouldn’t be the first time we’d cuddled that way while watching a movie. Albeit he was much skinnier back then. I stared at his pecs with as much discretion as possible, wondering how firm they were.
My rigid spine screamed at me, and I finally gave in and laid my head on chest. Firm, with just enough cushion. I draped one arm over his stomach and snuggled close.
He scooched down to accommodate me and tucked a pillow behind his back. “I forgot to ask, what’s your major?”
I smiled listening to his heart beat. “Astrophysics.”
“Nice.” He gave me a quick squeeze and chuckled. “My little astrophysicist.”
“What’s yours?”
“You already know.”
Jay had known he wanted be a doctor since he was thirteen when we had a job fair at school. He had such a big heart, I knew he’d be great at it. “Have you decided on a specialty yet?”
“No, but I’m sure it’ll come to me soon. Hopefully before it’s time for my internship.”
The room fell silent as we got lost in Will Smith kicking robot
butt on the TV screen.
A vibration startled me awake. Lifting my head, I searched the room with sleepy eyes. I didn’t remember falling asleep but I’d somehow ended up with my head on Jay’s lap.
He chuckled and reached into his pocket, retrieving his phone.
“Not funny.”
I sat up while he checked his messages, it must not have been good news because the smile fell from his face, taking those dimples with it.
He ran his hand over his tapered hair and sighed. “I have to go.”
“Is it your girlfriend?” I clamped my mouth shut a second too late. I couldn’t believe I’d just asked him that.
He nodded, slipping the phone back into his pocket. “I’m sorry.”
I stared down at my comforter, picking at a loose thread. “It’s okay.”
His arms surrounded me, bringing me closer to him. “We can finish watching the movie tomorrow, no interruptions, I promise.”
I nodded against his chest, my mood dampening as I recalled the last promise he’d made. “Okay.”
“You’re still the most fun person in the world to hang out with.” He nuzzled my hair and kissed my cheek before whispering in my ear, “I’m glad you’re back.”
It all felt so familiar, and I couldn’t help but wonder if the outcome would be the same.
Once he released me from his hold, he scribbled his number on a sheet of paper from the notebook on my nightstand and gave it to me.
I snuggled back into bed, clutching it to my chest while I watched him exit. My heart seized as the door clicked shut behind him.
Four
Jay
There was an extra pep in my step as I walked back to my dorm whistling ‘Candy Rain’ by Soul For Real. I could understand why Gabi preferred old school hip-hop and R&B to the new stuff. Something about the beats and melodies got into your soul and you couldn’t help but sing along.
Hanging with her had been just like old times, when we’d chill out at my house being silly. Spending time at her place had been a rarity, fun seemed to annoy her mother. Then there was the arguing. I was never there when it happened, but whenever her parents fought, no matter what time of day or night, Gabi would sneak out and down the street to my house. From the day we’d meet she’d been tough as nails, but when she’d knock on my window with tears glistening in those big brown eyes, I knew better. I was the only person she allowed to get a glimpse of how fragile she really was.
Countless times she’d curled up in my bed with her face hidden beneath a pillow to muffle her sobs, as if crying was something to be ashamed of.
Each time I’d hold her close, assuring her that none of it was her fault. Gabi had it in her head that she was somehow the root of her parents’ problem. She’d heard her name in an argument once, and since then there was no convincing her otherwise.
I wondered how she’d coped in my absence. Had she found another best friend to replace me with? The thought of someone else holding her close and wiping her tears away made my chest burn. I was supposed to be there for her, but I’d let her down. While at her dorm I hadn’t had the courage to confess my selfish reasons for stopping our communication. In a way I was glad she didn’t bring it up.
I’d wanted to stay with her longer, but of course Brooke had to bring the drama. Between her text threatening me and Benji calling to tell me to come and handle my psycho girlfriend, I didn’t have a choice.
When I reached my door, Brooke was already leaning against it, shooting daggers at me.
She folded her arms and looked me up and down, her mouth in a hard line. “Where have you been all dressed up like that?”
“Just hanging out with some friends.”
She looked like she wanted to challenge me, but thankfully let it go.
I hated lying, but I had a feeling if she knew the friend I was referring to was Gabi, she’d go from model to she-devil in no time flat. Especially if she knew the details of said ‘hanging’. Being with Gabi had felt so comfortable, just like old times. It wasn’t until Brooke’s text that the guilt settled in.
Cuddling with Gabi that way, kissing her cheek, had come so naturally. I hadn’t even thought twice about it. I guess the memories had caused me to fall back into old habits. But still that didn’t justify my actions nor settle the churning in my stomach.
I pulled Brooke into a hug and pecked her lips. “How was your day?”
She kissed her teeth. “Fine until I got here. Your cousin is a jackass.”
I almost laughed imagining what Benji had done to piss her off. Shaking my head, I unlocked the door and ushered her in. My hope was for a peaceful evening, but knowing these two…
Benji lounged on his bed enthralled in Grand Theft Auto, only acknowledging us with a few choice expletives when we passed in front of the TV.
I kicked off my shoes and sat on my bed with my back against the headboard. “What’d you do to Brooke?”
Keeping his attention on the screen, he smirked. “She’s just mad ‘cause I wouldn’t let her ass in.”
“Why not?”
“You were out so I didn’t see any point in her being in here.”
Brooke jutted out her hip and crossed her arms. Attitude should have been her middle name. “And why couldn’t I just come in and wait until he got here?”
“Easy, I don’t like you.” He didn’t even glance away from the TV, as if she were that insignificant in his eyes.
She took a step toward him, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her down on the bed. “Calm down, he’s just joking. Right, Benji?”
Another smirk was his answer.
If looks could kill, Benji’s head would’ve rolled across the floor. Brooke looked away from him and faced me, her eyes wet with tears “Why do you let him treat me this way?”
Here we go. Brooke turned on the water works so often I could collect them all and start a water park. Needless to say, they no longer fazed me. “I don’t let him do anything. I can’t control his actions. That being said, Benj…”
“What?”
“You know what. Could you not?”
He shot me a quick glance while grabbing his drink from beside his bed. “Not what? Tell the truth? Why do I have to like her? She ain’t my girlfriend.”
I sighed, rubbing at the growing tension above my right eye brow. “You don’t have to like her, but you do have to respect her.”
A smug look crossed Brooke’s face and she folded her arms. “FYI, I don’t like you either.”
Benji chuckled. “Say that again, next time I might actually care, but probably not.”
“Whatever.” She took off her shoes and pulled her feet up on the bed. “So, where were you today?”
“Just hanging out.”
“With?” She scooted toward me and straddled my lap. Her tighter than spandex skirt rode up her toffee colored thighs as she did. If I angled my head just right, I could probably see her panties.
I shook my head at her. “You see my cousin sitting in the room, right?
She glanced at him and rolled her eyes. “Ask him to leave.”
Benji scoffed. “I ain’t going nowhere, I’m busy.”
Brooke had this way of looking at people she hated, like she was plotting scenarios of how to kill them in her mind. That was the exact look she gave Benji. “With a video game?”
“Yup.”
She looked to me for help, I just shrugged. “It’s his room too, I can’t force him to leave.” I lifted her from my lap and moved her to the spot beside to me.
There I was lying again. I could most definitely get rid of Benji if I wanted to, but I wasn’t in the mood for what Brooke was offering up. Sure I liked sex. Loved it. And while sex with Brooke was always fulfilling, it seemed to be her favorite past time as of late. Besides picking fights that is.
Those two things were about all our relationship amounted to these days. Sex. Argue. Argue. Make up sex.
“What are we supposed to do then?”
“Everything isn�
�t sex. We can do other things.”
“But we’re so good at it.” She pouted and ran her hand up and down my thigh. When she got no response she huffed and crossed her arms. “Fine. What can we do then?”
“When Benji’s done I can teach you to play Call of Duty.”
She gave me a long eye roll. “I don’t play games.”
Her statement elicited a chuckle from Benji. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“You know what? I don’t have to take this.” She climbed from the bed, snatched up her shoes, and marched toward the door. “Call me when your girlfriend is elsewhere.” She stormed out slamming the door behind her.
I shook my head, both at her dramatics and my cousin. “I don’t know rather to hit you or thank you.”
“That’s just sad.”
“What is?”
“You, thanking me for chasing your girlfriend away.”
Standing, I pulled off my shirt and grabbed my poetry book from my desk. “I just didn’t feel like dealing with her drama tonight.”
“That’s even worse. Why are with someone you can’t even stand being around?”
“Relationships aren’t easy, man. But you wouldn’t know that seeing that you haven’t been in one since you were what? Fifteen?”
“And that’s exactly why. I’m not trying to be in a situation where I grow to hate the person I’m with.”
I tossed the notebook on the bed and lay down on my back. “I don’t hate Brooke.”
“Do you love her?”
I turned my gaze to the window, mulling over his question. Did I? I know I had once. We’d been together so long it was unclear whether I stayed due to my feelings or familiarity. During our split I’d tried to move on, but couldn’t seem to manage it. I spent the months hating her and missing her at the same time. Brooke was my first and only girlfriend. I didn’t know how to be with anyone else, but I knew I didn’t like how being alone felt.
Benji tossed a crumpled chip bag at me, drawing my attention. “If you gotta think that hard about it, there’s your answer. Just drop her evil ass.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why the hell not? Call her up and tell her she’s dismissed.”
Excuse Me, First Love (College Daze #1) Page 4
