Prodigal Son: A Sexy Single Dad Romance: Book 2 in the Marked Men 2nd Generation Series (The Forever Marked Series)

by Jay Crownover

  I was starting to become aware of just how badly I’d half-assed all my previous relationships. I thought I was giving it my all because they were easy and rarely asked for anything from me. I thought it was enough to devote myself to them when I was available and let them fend for themselves while I was deployed or unable to be present. I felt like a real asshole; now that I understood, it was easy on my end because I was only ever partially invested. If I was fully engaged and totally committed, I would’ve cared more about Ava cheating. It would’ve been much more difficult for me to bid her farewell than it had been.

  I called the last few words toward her mostly bare back as she continued to walk away. She lifted a hand and waved it over her shoulder. She didn’t say one way or the other if she would answer when I reached out, but I still planned on calling her. No matter what. The reason I kept her number locked in my mind after all these years was crystal clear—until Hollyn, Remy was the only girl I could never give up.

  She was unforgettable.

  Remy

  HYDE FOLLOWED THROUGH on his promise to call me for lunch, and then dinner, and he was even bold enough to ask me to stay with him for the night. I felt like I slipped into an alternate reality and he was suddenly doing all the things I did that he loathed when we were teenagers. I finally grasped how hard it had to have been for him to be on the receiving end of my unrelenting attention. It felt like he was creeping into every moment of my life.

  He called multiple times a day. He left messages and texted from the time he woke up until he went to bed. He also started sending me updates about Hollyn and the cold war happening in his house between my cousin and his nanny. Apparently, Daire and the new addition rubbed each other the wrong way. Even though they didn’t speak to each other much throughout the day, Hyde insisted he felt like he was caught in the middle of some sort of icy battle of wills and wit. I didn’t answer any of the calls or respond to any of the messages, though. Even the ones with adorable pictures of the baby. I couldn’t. I knew if I did, I would find myself back where I started, mesmerized by him, consumed by him, obsessed with him, and worst case, I would fall deeply in love with him all over again.

  I was already replaying the spontaneous kiss over and over again in my mind. I still couldn’t get my head around the fact I had actually kissed Hyde Fuller for real. It was even harder to believe he kissed me back. A kiss that felt like he was no longer afraid that his touch and affection would bind and break me.

  Plus, I already knew all about Daire’s clash with Campbell because she also called me once a day to update me on how she was dealing with her new mortal enemy.

  Before the accident over the summer, Daire was a fun and flirty type of girl. She was never serious about any single boy but had more than a handful chasing after her at any given time. She isolated herself and cut off communication with her entire social circle after her brother left, and even postponed her first year of art school. Campbell was the first person she’d spoken about repeatedly and so passionately in a long time. Granted, all the words were cutting, and she sounded straight-up furious half the time she talked about him, but at least she was finally feeling something and seemed to be slowly snapping out of the heavy depression she’d been caught in. I was going to give her until the end of the month and then try again to get her to agree to see a therapist so she could deal with the lingering trauma from the accident. If she agreed, I was going to buy Hyde’s manny the most expensive bottle of tequila I could find.

  I tapped my fingernails on the screen of my phone and looked at the latest message Hyde sent.

  ~ I start my new job on Monday.

  Today was Friday, so after this weekend, he would no longer have his days free. His nights were already claimed by his daughter, so the implication was clear… If I wanted to see him again, I needed to make a move.

  I was not an idle woman. I didn’t simply let things happen to me; I went out and made them happen for me. If the person asking me to step forward into the unknown was anyone other than Hyde, I would’ve already made up my mind if the risk was worth the eventual reward. Since it was him, I couldn’t decide if it was better to stay away entirely or rebuild what we’d destroyed. Whatever came next was bound to be different because the foundation we were starting from was entirely new. There was no longer fixation, rejection, agony, and anticipation holding us together. The complex feelings that hovered between us now weren’t as shaky and unpredictable as the ones that came before, but I had no idea if they were strong enough to hold up under the force of not only building a new type of relationship, but also the weight of the past. My emotions were notoriously untrustworthy, so I couldn’t decide If I trusted myself enough to get into something that might end up being worse for me than the first time I fell in love.

  Back then, I loved Hyde without any idea what that meant. I loved him because I could and because it was a powerful enough feeling to drown out all the others inside of me that scared the living shit out of me. If I let myself love him now, it came with a whole slew of very adult complications. He had a child. He recently lost someone he was seriously involved with and there were definitely unresolved issues with that situation. He was starting his life over. His family wasn’t exactly fond of me. Loving him had never been the easiest choice. Not that it felt like I had any other options since I was head-over-heels from the moment I first laid eyes on him. It would take a whole lot of work to figure out how to fit the bits and pieces of our lives together, regardless of the kind of relationship we found ourselves in. I wasn’t sure it was work I was willing to do. Which was exactly why I’d been alone for so many years.

  I’d spent so long getting to the point where I could manage my own issues effectively. Was I really ready to take on someone else’s hardships and triumphs? Could I really keep myself together if I finally got what I always wanted and it fell apart? Did I trust him enough to believe he wouldn’t walk away again? The last thing I wanted to be was a burden to someone who was already dealing with so much. And I had serious doubts about my ability to help rather than hinder.

  My fingers tapped against the phone even harder, and I swore under my breath. Finally, I clicked through my contacts and called Bowe. Between her music career starting to take off and her relationship with Ry getting more and more serious, we hadn’t talked much since she’d moved back to Austin. Even though Bowe was several years younger than me, she was always the person in our tightly knit friend group who understood me the most. There was something about her no-nonsense attitude and straightforward personality that calmed me down. Even before I was medicated and actively trying to keep a handle on my mental health, just being around Bowe had always made me feel better. Something about her tempered my impulses, and I knew I could always rely on her. Just like my brother, it didn’t matter where in the world I was, she would come running if she thought I needed her. She was my biggest cheerleader and most trusted confidant.

  When she answered the phone with a laugh, I knew she was with my cousin. I could hear his deep voice in the background and rolled my eyes at how in love the two of them were these days. It was the world’s worst secret that Bowe and Ry had gone through a pretty rough puppy love phase. They shared a lot of firsts together, including their first heartbreak. They had very different personalities, so I couldn’t say I was ever really rooting for them to end up together. Bowe was fun and fearless. She was also incredibly creative. Ry was none of those things. He worked hard, and devoted his all to whatever he was involved with, be it sports or, now, med school. I would absolutely hate it if he dulled any of Bowe’s brilliant shine. So far, he’d been nothing but supportive and encouraging, but if he went back to being a bossy bore, I was fully prepared to fly to Texas and kick his ass.

  “You are so in love it’s disgusting.” I issued the complaint in a teasing tone and couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across my face. “You sound happy.”

  Bowe cleared her throat and told Ry that she would be back in a minute. I heard her mo
ving as she said, “Well, you don’t. Is something wrong?”

  I sighed and stared off into space, trying to get my thoughts in order. “I might have to have sex with Hyde Fuller.” There was a lot more on my mind than the sex part of things, but for some reason, that was the first thing that popped out of my mouth. “I kissed him the other day, thinking it would get him to back off. He’s been reaching out a lot since we both landed back in Denver. I feel like every time I turn around, he’s there. The kiss backfired, big time. He kissed me back, and now he’s calling me every single day. He told me he was going to ask me to spend the night with him. I didn’t really think he’d ever ask something like that, but he did. I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe. I’m mad he seems to be much better at chasing me than I ever was at chasing him.”

  Bowe let out a low whistle. “Good thing I moved out of hearing range. Ry would have a fit if he overheard any of that. Neither of the Archer boys are very fond of Hyde after everything that happened between you two.”

  I rubbed my forehead, where I felt a headache starting to throb. “That’s another reason I need to block his number and forget about hooking up with him.” I didn’t really care that Ry didn’t like the idea of Hyde being back in my life, but Zowen was a different story. I very rarely did anything that would upset my brother. I owed him too much. “Tell me to ignore him.”

  “You never listen when someone tells you what to do. If I tell you to ignore him, you’re going to do the opposite.” She chuckled lightly. “Which means you probably already made up your mind about him, and you actually want me to tell you it’s okay to move forward.”

  I swore again and rubbed my head even harder. The throb was getting unbearable. “Stop being so smart.”

  “It isn’t being smart; it’s knowing you so well. I’m going to say the way he reacted to the kiss scared you. You expected him to push you away, and when he pulled you closer, you freaked out. It’s okay to be scared, Remy. Being afraid of your feelings is very much a part of life and love. Even for people who don’t have the struggles that you do. I would worry more if you were completely unaffected after finally getting to kiss the boy of your dreams.”

  “I can honestly say I’ve had more nightmares about him than dreams.” They usually involved me chasing after him, reaching for him, as he walked away from me. It never occurred to me that the reality would be Hyde suddenly deciding he wanted to walk toward me. And I wasn’t sure I liked the implication that I was still in the same spot waiting for him. No matter how many places I’d lived, or how much distance I’d tried to put between us, we ended up back where we started.

  “Regardless, that means he’s always been on your mind, and I would guess you’ve been on his. He had a lot of opportunities to kiss you back when you guys were younger, but he waited until the time was right. He waited until it would mean something to both of you. If he kissed you before, would you be able to make a logical decision about what you wanted to do next? Would he have been able to leave knowing how much you would’ve read into such a small gesture? No. You would’ve jumped into whatever was waiting with both feet, and you would’ve drowned. There’s a solid chance you would’ve taken him down with you. You wouldn’t forgive yourself for that. All that anger you turned on your mom when you found out she asked him to leave would’ve fallen on you, and I don’t know if you ever would’ve been able to crawl out from under the weight of that kind of regret. Hyde has always been the bad guy, so you never had to be.”

  I snorted as I tried to let Bowe’s words sink in. “He had a baby with someone else. He was considering marrying her. That doesn’t sound like he was waiting for the right time.”

  “Sometimes you have to fail before you find the right one. If you don’t, how are you going to know the difference between something that’s just kind of good, and something that has the potential to be great?” She made a slight sound and quietly reminded me, “Ry thought someone else was his perfect match for a long time. He never would have known he was wrong if he hadn’t tried things with Aston and ultimately failed. The way he loves me and has always loved me is different from how he cared about her. Knowing that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt from time to time, but as long as I know what we have is above and beyond what he could have with anyone else, it’s enough.”

  I finally stopped rubbing my forehead and looked out the window that faced the mountains. “I guess it’s different for us since we’ve only ever loved one person. We don’t know how it feels to leave little parts of our hearts with other people who are only good and not great.”

  “Isn’t that better? It means our hearts are never lost. We always know exactly where to find them. You can go anywhere, experience so many different things, but you’re always going to know exactly where your heart is.” Bowe hummed a little; it was melodic and sounded like part of a song. When she spoke again, her tone turned serious. “I get being scared you might get hurt again. I also know you well enough to know that you’re probably worried about being the one who hurts him this time around since he seems willing to open his heart to you, finally. I guess you have to decide if you trust him, and more importantly, if you trust yourself. It’s been years, Remy. You don’t deserve to be lonely forever. Haven’t you punished yourself long enough?”

  Was that what I was doing? Punishing myself for not knowing as a teenager there was a logical, and even medical explanation for why I always felt so out of control? Was I purposely making things harder than they had to be because I regretted what I’d put both of us through? Did I keep everyone who wanted to get close at arm’s length because I’d decided I wasn’t worthy of being loved because of how badly I’d abused the idea of what love was when I didn’t know any better?

  “Why am I paying my therapist a fortune when you have all the answers for free?” I was just joking to lighten the mood, but really, Bowe had made some good points.

  She let out a light laugh and told me, “Your therapist didn’t see the way you looked at him back then. And she probably can’t hear the longing in your voice when you talk about Hyde now. I’ve known you my whole life. The only thing that has stayed the same all that time is how important Hyde is to you. If you tell me you don’t want to hook up with him, if you aren’t dying to know what it’s like to go to bed with him, I won’t believe you.”

  Of course, I wanted to sleep with him. I always had. It was part of my evolution from an unaware child, to a fully aware of how he made me feel young adult. I didn’t have wild crushes on teen heartthrobs and sexy vampires. I didn’t dream about cute K-pop boys. The only person I ever wanted when I was old enough to know what want and desire were, was Hyde. I wanted to know every single thing about him, including what turned him on and what made him lose his mind. He was always so serious, so intense, even when he was younger. I always wondered if that carried over to the bedroom. Even when I hated him, I still wanted him. Even when I was sure I was over him, I compared all his replacements to him. I wanted to be as close to Hyde as possible. None of that had changed, even if I lied and said it had.

  How could I forget about someone who was so much a part of who I was and who I’d become?

  “He has a kid now. Did you know that? So, it’s not as simple as testing the waters to see where we’re at now that we’re grown up. If I fuck up, it won’t just be me and him who are affected. It won’t just be the two of us who end up hurt.” Knowing that Hollyn was part of the mix added a whole other level of responsibility to the matter. I couldn’t afford to be crazy in love this time around. It was too risky, and there were too many things that could go horribly wrong.

  “Ry mentioned when Hyde came home, he brought a baby with him. I heard he had a hard time getting her back to Denver. You know he still struggles with that time between losing his mom, and his Aunt Echo tracking down his dad so Zeb could raise him and get him out of foster care. All of it has to remind him of how alone he felt back then. I’m sure Hyde is far less worried about his kid having you in her corner than
you are. He knows better than anyone how loyal you are. He knows how strongly you advocate for those who can’t speak for themselves. That little girl will be lucky to have you in her life, Remy. Just like all of us were when we were growing up.”

  I sniffled slightly and rubbed the back of my hand across my nose. I blinked back tears. “You bitch. You just had to go and make me cry, didn’t you?”

  Bowe scoffed. “Of course I did. It’s to remind you that you’re only human. You can analyze your next move repeatedly, but there is no guarantee it’s the right one, and no certainty that it will be the wrong one. All you can do is try and see where you end up. If I hadn’t gone to Denver this summer to let Ry apologize and explain where his head was at in the past, where would we be now? Be brave. That’s what I like most about you, Remy. You’ve always been so courageous. You face everything head on.”

  I didn’t feel brave. Even now when I felt like I had my veritable shit together, I felt afraid I was one slip away from losing my hard-earned health. But it was nice to hear that Bowe didn’t see me that way. I told her goodbye and made sure to let her know how much I appreciated her insight. I offhandedly reminded her not to change too much for my cousin. The truth was, after talking to her this afternoon, she seemed to be even more poised and confident than she’d been before. Having my cousin in her life appeared to have made her better, stronger, and for sure happier. It was the same for Ry. Watching my cousin bounce back so effortlessly after being so severely injured—and having his dream of being a professional football player snatched away—firmly made me believe he understood how fortunate he was to have Bowe in his life.

  It gave me a sliver of hope that I had a chance to find something similar if I dared take a chance on myself… and on Hyde.