Collected Works of Eugène Sue

by Eugène Sue

  The decree, worthy of Solomon, is received with general approval. Nevertheless, yielding to a pardonable sense of fellowship, Deliane the canoness emerges from her habitual languor, and seems to protest to the other members of the tribunal against a decree that she regards as unfavorable to the station of the canonesses. No less angry than Deliane, forgetful of the religious respect that the decrees of the sovereign Court are to be surrounded with, at the moment when, led by the Seneschal of Sweet-Marjoram, Aigline leaves the precinct of the tribunal the latter pinches the Bernardine nun in the arm and says to her in a spiteful tone: “Oh, you menial! — you have had me non-suited — just heavens! — me! — non-suited!” Although smarting both from the words and the vicious pinch, the little sister in grey contains herself and casts an angelic look heavenward as if to court the Almighty’s favor with her martyrdom. The slight commotion created by the vicious prank of the canoness is quickly calmed, and Marphise says:

  “The case has been heard and judged. Now our Bailiff of the Joy of Joys shall submit to us the disputed questions of Love, if there be any, in order that the Court may pass upon them, and its decisions have the force of law.”

  The Bailiff of the Joy of Joys (advances to the foot of the tribunal carrying in one hand a roll of parchment tied in many-colored ribbons; he bows to Marphise and says:)— “Illustrious Queen, I have received a large number of questions touching upon grave, ticklish and delicate points concerning the orthodoxy of Love. From all the corners of the empire of Venus, your subjects address themselves to your supreme infallible Court, and implore the charity of its light. The duchy of Languors, the marquisate of Desires, the county of Refusal, the barony of Expectation, together with so many other fiefs of your kingdom, Oh! gracious Queen, humbly pray the Chamber of Sweet Vows to pass upon the following questions, to the end that its decree may put an end to the doubts of the people and determine the doctrine they are to adhere to. They all stand in as much dread of heresy in matters that concern Love, as they do in matters that concern the salvation of their souls.”

  Marphise— “Let our Bailiff of the Joy of Joys read the questions that have been sent to be submitted to the Court. The Court will then go into deliberative session, unless some urgent case that demands immediate trial present itself in the meantime.”

  Saying this Marphise exchanges looks with Countess Ursine, whose petulant impatience has been steadily on the increase.

  The Bailiff of the Joy of Joys— “These are the questions submitted to the supreme and infallible decision of the Court:

  “1 — Who should be sadder, he whose lady-love has died, or he whose lady-love marries?

  “2 — Who should feel greater affliction, the husband whose wife is unfaithful, or the lover who is deceived by his lady-love?

  “3 — Who is more to be blamed, he who boasts of favors that have not been accorded him, or he who divulges the favors he has received from his fair lady-love?

  “4 — You have a rendezvous with a married woman, which should you prefer — to see the husband leave the house of your lady-love when you are entering it; or see him enter when you are leaving?

  “5 — You have a lady-love; a rival takes her from you; which of the two should feel happier — you who have been the fair one’s first love, or your rival whom she now prefers to you?

  “6 — A lover is enjoying the favors of his lady-love; a rival is in a fair way of gaining them; she dies; which of the two should experience deeper sorrow at the cruel loss?

  “7 — Your lady-love proposes to you one single day of joy under the condition that you never after see her again; or she offers to see you every day without, however, ever granting you any favors — which would you prefer?”

  “Oh, the devil!” cries Foulques of Bercy, one of the judges of the Court of Love, suddenly interrupting the Bailiff of the Joy of Joys, “the thing to do is to accept the day that is offered, and to enjoy it all you can!”

  Marphise (turning with severity towards the Seigneur of Bercy)— “We wish to remind our gracious colleague that in a matter of such gravity and importance the individual opinion of one member of the Court may in no wise prejudge the merits of the case. (Foulques of Bercy bows reverently.) Let our bailiff continue to read.”

  The Bailiff of the Joy of Joys—”8 — Who should prize himself happier — an old woman who has a young man for her lover, or an old man who has a young girl for his lady-love?

  “9 — Which is preferable for a lady-love, a married woman or a maid?

  “10 — What is preferable, an unfaithful but beautiful lady-love, or a less beautiful but faithful one?

  “11 — Two women are equal in point of beauty, of youth and of worth; one has loved before; the other is still a novice; should a lover be more anxious to please the former than to be beloved by the latter?

  “12 — A woman has obstinately rejected her lover and thereby caused his death; should she be considered barbarous and a homicide, responsible for the death that she caused?

  “Such are the grave questions submitted for the decision of the Chamber of Sweet Vows, and concerning which the inhabitants of the empire of Cytherea humbly pray the Court to deliberate and pass upon, to the end that the Court’s decisions may be taken for a guide, and the people be not exposed to fall into detestable and damnable heresies in matters of Love.”

  Adam the Hunchback of Arras— “As a member of the Court I shall request our beautiful and gracious President to give me leave to make a remark upon the last question.”

  Marphise— “Illustrious trouvere, it is always happiness to us to hear your voice. Impart to us your precious observation.”

  Adam the Hunchback of Arras— “I am of the opinion that the last question should be excluded. It is no longer a debatable question. It has been more than once decided in the affirmative—”

  Master Oenobarbus the Theologian— “Yes, the question has been disposed of in the affirmative upon the reasoning presented by me. I beg leave of the Court to be allowed to refresh its memory upon my reasoning. It was this:

  “‘The Court, being consulted upon the question whether a woman, who, by reason of her austerity, causes the death of a gallant, is a homicide. Whereas, if Love hates obdurate hearts, God hates them no less; whereas, God, the same as Love, allows Himself to be disarmed by a tender prayer; whereas, whatever the manner may be in which a man’s death is brought about, you are guilty of murder from the moment that it appears that the death resulted from your action; therefore the Court of Sweet Vows decrees and orders as follows: The woman, who, through the rigor of her refusal, has caused the death of a gallant, by whom she was loyally courted, is actually guilty of barbarism and homicide.’

  “Such was the decision of the Court. I do not believe the Court is willing to reconsider its decree.”

  All the members of the tribunal rise and declare that they adhere to their former judgment.

  Adam the Hunchback of Arras— “In order to corroborate our decree and to render it more popular and easy to be remembered, I propose that it be formulated in meter, as follows:

  “You are pretty, young and tender,

  Deigned to others show much good:

  Hear my verdict: Nothing e’er would

  God above so much displease

  As to let a Christian die, whom

  You could save with greatest ease.”

  Both the tribunal and the audience applaud the metrical rendition of the decree, as proposed by Adam the Hunchback of Arras. The Court proceeds with the business before it.

  Marphise— “Our Bailiff of the Joy of Joys shall insert the memorable decree in the archives of the Court, and order all our trouveres, minstrels, jugglers and other sinful brothers of the gay science, that they spread the formula of the sovereign decree with their songs among the subjects of Cytherea, to the end that none may plead ignorance on the head of the monstrous heresy — the idea that a woman who causes the death of her gallant by reason of her refusal is not a homicide.”

>   Master Oenobarbus the Theologian (with fanatical zeal)— “Yes; let the women know that if other heresies may be expiated on earth in the flames of the pyre, the vestibule of the eternal fire, let the tigresses know that before they reach the furnace of Satan they will have to expiate their impiousness in this world in the furnace of remorse. Night and day they have before their eyes the specter of the ill-starred gallant, their victim.”

  Deliane the Canoness (plaintively languorous)— “Oh, only the pursuit of their gallants on the other side of the grave will cause these inhuman women to understand — but, alas! only too late — all the harm they have done.”

  Marphise (vainly seeking to detect the impatient Countess Ursine in the audience)— “Well — seeing that there is no other pressing suit before the Court, the tribunal will now take up the questions that have been submitted to it, and all of which demand its attention.”

  CHAPTER V.

  THE CRUSADERS!

  THE QUEEN OF Beauty and President of the Court of Love has barely pronounced the words that indicate the taking up of the routine work before her, when the petulant Ursine hurriedly elbows her way through the crowd and presents herself at the entrance of the sacred precinct. Giraud, Seigneur of Lancon, demands in his quality of porter the customary toll due him — a kiss from the fair litigant. Ursine gives him two on the mouth and walks to the foot of the tribunal crying: “Justice! Justice!”

  Marphise (with a sigh of relief and triumph)— “Speak, dear friend. Justice will be rendered to you, if your right is clear.”

  Countess Ursine (imperiously)— “Whether my right is clear! Just heavens! Whether our rights are clear, I should say! I am the representative of eleven victims, among whom I am the twelfth!”

  Marphise— “Justice will be done to each and to all. What is your grievance?”

  Countess Ursine— “Each of us, my eleven companions and myself, had a secret gallant. He was charming, witty, daring, bold. Suddenly we learned that we all had the identical lover! The traitor was deceiving all twelve of us at once! Was there ever such audacity?”

  Adam the Hunchback of Arras (claps his hands and exclaims:)— “What! All the twelve! Oh, the terrible man! What an ample heart must not his be!”

  The unheard-of felony throws the members of the Court into mute stupor, except Marphise, Deliane, Huguette and Eglantine, who exchange knowing looks among themselves.

  Foulques of Bercy— “I wish to put a question to the plaintiff. Did the prodigious criminal at the time when his shocking infidelity was discovered show himself less daring than usual towards the plaintiff and her companions in misfortune?”

  Countess Ursine (with an explosion of violent indignation)— “Never did the criminal act more charming. And we said so in secret to one another, unknowing, alas! that we were all the while speaking of the identical deceiver! We each said to the others: ‘I have a magnificent lover, a matchless gallant! He is always the same’—”

  Foulques of Bercy— “And you were all the time being nicely deceived, all the twelve?”

  Countess Ursine (furious)— “Yes! It is that very circumstance that renders the traitor all the more guilty!”

  Foulques of Bercy shrugs his shoulders and does not seem to share the plaintiff’s opinion regarding the aggravation of the offense. Several members of the Court, Marphise, Deliane, Eglantine and Huguette, excepted, the majority of the fair ones in the gathering seem, on the whole, rather to take the view of Foulques of Bercy, and to see an extenuating circumstance in the very enormity of the misdeed. Marphise notices with deep concern the propensity to indulgence. She rises majestically in her seat and says:

  “I wish to believe that all the members of the Court join me in feeling a legitimate indignation at the miscreant, who, trampling under foot all the divine and human laws of Love, has dared to commit so formidable an offense against fidelity. If, however, it should happen that I am mistaken; if there be any member of this tribunal inclined to indulgence in sight of such an enormity, let him admit it openly, and his name and his views will be proclaimed throughout the length and breadth of the empire of Cytherea.”

  A profound silence ensues among the members of the Court.

  Marphise (radiant)— “Oh, I felt certain that this august tribunal, which has been established in order to take, with severe solicitude, cognizance of the crimes against Love and to check them, aye, even to punish them, if need be, would show itself worthy of its mission. (Addresses the countess.) Dear friend, did you summon the criminal to our bar?”

  Countess Ursine— “Yes, I summoned him to appear before the Court of Sweet Vows; and whether it be audacity on his part or a stricken conscience, he has obeyed the summons. I demand that it may please the Court to deliver him to the twelve victims of his felony. They will wreak signal vengeance upon him. (Impetuously.) We must see to it before everything else that the monster, the traitor, the felon shall no longer be able to deceive other women — and that he be punished on the spot—”

  Marphise (hastening to interrupt the countess)— “Sweet friend, before inflicting punishment, the Court must hear the accused.”

  Countess Ursine— “The culprit has obeyed our summons and has come accompanied by a fat varlet of a man, whom, he says, he may need in his defense. They are both locked up in the Prison of Love back of the garden.”

  Marphise— “We order our Seneschal of Sweet-Marjoram and our Bailiff of the Joy of Joys to bring forth the culprit and to lead him hither in chains as is the usage, with the customary garlands on his head.”

  The Seneschal and the Bailiff furnish themselves with two long red and blue ribbons to which several bouquets of flowers are fastened and proceed towards the shady tunnel to fetch the prisoner. A great agitation reigns among the crowd. Opinion is divided on the degree of the culprit’s guilt. Unanimous, however, is the curiosity to see the lusty champion. Mylio the Trouvere presently appears, led by the Seneschal of Sweet-Marjoram and the Bailiff of the Joy of Joys. Goose-Skin modestly remains outside of the enclosure of the Court. The youth and good looks of the accused, his renown as a poet and singer, immediately turn the female portion of the assembly in his favor.

  Marphise (addressing Mylio in an imposing voice)— “You are charged before the Chamber of Sweet Vows with a crime unheard-of in the annals of Love. What have you to say in your own defense?”

  Mylio— “What is the crime that I am charged with?”

  Marphise— “You have deceived twelve women at once. Each of them believed she alone had you for her gallant. What blacker treason can there be?”

  Mylio— “Who are my accusers? I demand to see them and to be confronted by them.”

  Countess Ursine (impetuously)— “I accuse you! I am one of your twelve victims. Will you dare to deny your crime?”

  Mylio— “My accuser is such a charming lady, that even if I were innocent I would confess myself guilty. I have come hither to make a solemn expiation of the past. I could choose no better place, no better time, and no better audience. Deign to hear me.”

  Marphise— “Your frankness will not extenuate your crimes, albeit that it does honor to your character. Do I understand you to say that you admit your felony?”

  Mylio— “Yes; I have made love to noble, beautiful, obliging and easy ladies who were mad for pleasure, and who were governed by no law other than their own caprice.”

  Marphise— “Dare you impugn your victims?”

  Mylio— “Far from me be any such thought! Raised in the lap of plenty, ignorance and idleness, those noble ladies only yielded to corrupting examples and counsels. Had they been born in obscurity, leading an honorable existence amidst the occupations and joys of family life, they would all have been exemplary mothers and wives. But how could those noble ladies choose but forget virtue, honor and duty in these shameful days when debauchery has its code and libertinage its decrees, and where unchastity, sitting in a sovereign Court, regulates vice and decrees adultery? Such is the mission of the Court of Love.�
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  Indescribable amazement is depicted on the faces of the Court, its pursuivants and the audience, at the words of Mylio. The members of the Chamber of Sweet Vows look at one another stupefied by the irreverent language. Master Oenobarbus, the theological rhetorician, and Adam the Hunchback of Arras rise to make answer, while the knight Foulques of Bercy, the Seneschal of Sweet-Marjoram and the Bailiff of the Joy of Joys, all of whom are experts at their weapons, mechanically put their hands to their sides in search of their swords. But they all attended Court unarmed, according to the usage of the institution. Marphise raps for silence and says to the trouvere:

  “Wretch! Dare you insult these august tribunals that are established throughout Gaul in order to propagate the laws of gallantry!”