Collected Works of Eugène Sue

by Eugène Sue

  “Monsieur, in obedience to your orders I shall sit down again. When will you want the order filled?”

  “Toward the end of next month.”

  “In that case, monsieur, the four hundred and fifty shirts, of good quality, will cost seven francs apiece.”

  “Very well, upon my honor! That’s cheap, my dear Monsieur Lebrenn. That is a compliment that, I suppose, is not often heard from a purchaser, hey?”

  “No, it is not at all frequent; that’s true, monsieur. But you mentioned some other orders.”

  “Zounds, my good man! You do not take your eyes from the cards. Your thoughts run to solid business.”

  “Eh! Eh! monsieur, one is a merchant in order to sell—”

  “And are you selling much these days?”

  “Hem — hem — so so, indifferently—”

  “Indeed? Only so so? Well, so much the worse, my dear Monsieur Lebrenn! That must go against your grain — because I presume you have a family to maintain?”

  “You are very considerate, monsieur. I have a son.”

  “And are you bringing him up to be your successor?”

  “That’s it, monsieur! He attends the Central School of Commerce.”

  “How old is the fine fellow? You have only one son, my dear Monsieur Lebrenn?”

  “Begging your pardon for contradicting you, I also have a daughter.”

  “A daughter also! The dear Lebrenn! If she at all looks like her mother she must be a charming girl—”

  “Eh! Eh! — she is slender — she is comely—”

  “You must be proud of her. Come, confess it!”

  “Zounds! I do not deny it, monsieur. More than that I can not say.”

  “Strange,” thought the Count of Plouernel to himself, “the fellow has a curiously old-fashioned style of expression. It must be something peculiar to St. Denis Street. He puts me in mind of my old steward Robert, who brought me up, and who spoke like the people of the previous century.”

  The Count proceeded aloud:

  “Forsooth! Coming to think of it, I should pay a visit to dear Madam Lebrenn.”

  “Monsieur, she is at your service.”

  “You should know that I contemplate giving a tournament soon in the large yard of my barracks, where my dragoons are to go through all manner of exercises on horseback. You must promise me to come some Sunday to the rehearsal with Madam Lebrenn; and I wish you to accept, without any compliments, a little collation after we leave the place.”

  “Oh, monsieur, that’s too much honor to us — you overwhelm me—”

  “Never mind that; you are joking; is it agreed?”

  “May I bring my boy along?”

  “Zounds! Of course!”

  “And also my daughter?”

  “How can you put such a question to me, my dear Monsieur Lebrenn?”

  “Indeed, monsieur? You won’t object if my daughter—”

  “Better still! I have an idea, my dear man; an excellent idea!”

  “What is it, monsieur?”

  “Did you ever hear of the tourneys of olden days?”

  “Tourneys, monsieur?”

  “Yes, in the days of chivalry.”

  “I beg your pardon, monsieur; plain people like us—”

  “Well, dear Monsieur Lebrenn, in the days of chivalry, tourneys were held, and at those tourneys several of my ancestors, whom you see there,” and he waved his hand towards the pictures, “took a hand.”

  “Bless my soul!” exclaimed the merchant, affecting great surprise, and following with his eyes in the direction pointed by the colonel, “I was thinking to myself, there is something of a family resemblance.”

  “You think so?”

  “I do, monsieur — I beg your pardon for the great liberty—”

  “Don’t begin apologizing again! For God’s sake, be not so very formal at all points, my dear man! As I was saying, at those tourneys there always was what was called a Queen of Beauty. She distributed the prizes to the victors. Now, then, that shall be the role for your charming daughter. She shall be the Queen of Beauty at the tournament that I am about to give — she will be well worthy of the distinction.”

  “Oh, monsieur! That is too much! Oh, it is too much! Moreover, do you not think that for a young girl — to be in that way — in plain view — vis-a-vis to messieurs your dragoons — is a little — I beg your pardon for the great liberty — but it is a little — what shall I say? — a little—”

  “Dismiss all such scruples, my dear Monsieur Lebrenn. The noblest dames were in olden days chosen as the Queens of Beauty at the tourney. They even gave a kiss to the victor, on his mouth.”

  “I understand that — they were accustomed thereto — while my daughter — you see — confound it! — she is only eighteen, and has been brought up — like a bourgeois girl.”

  “You need not feel uneasy on that score. I never thought for a moment that your daughter should give the victor a kiss.”

  “That is good, monsieur! How kind you are! And if you will also consent that my daughter do not embrace—”

  “That goes without saying, my dear monsieur. You do not need my consent. I am too happy, as it is, to have you and also your family, accept my invitation.”

  “Oh, monsieur, all the honor is on our side!”

  “Not at all, it is on my side!”

  “Surely not! Surely not, monsieur! You are too kind! I can clearly see that you mean to bestow great honor upon us.”

  “Well, have it your way, my good man! There are faces like yours — that charm one on the spot. Besides, I found you to be so honest a man in the matter of the price of the shirts—”

  “It is only a matter of conscience, monsieur. Only a matter of conscience.”

  “That I said to myself on the spot — This Monsieur Lebrenn must be an admirable, an honest man. I would like to be pleasant to him — even to oblige him, if I can.”

  “Oh, monsieur, I know not how to express to you—”

  “Come, you told me a minute ago that business was poor — would you like me to pay you in advance for my order?”

  “Oh, no, no, no, monsieur; that is unnecessary.”

  “Do not be bashful! Be frank. The amount is large — I shall give you an order upon my banker.”

  “I assure you, monsieur, that I do not need payment in advance.”

  “Times are so hard yet.”

  “Very hard, indeed, the times are; that’s true, monsieur; we must hope for better.”

  “Admit it, my dear Monsieur Lebrenn,” said the Count, again pointing to the pictures that ornamented the walls of the salon, “the times in which those redoubtable seigneurs lived, were the real good times!”

  “Truly so, monsieur.”

  “And who knows! Perhaps those better times may come back again!”

  “Indeed! Do you think so?”

  “Some other day we shall talk politics — I suppose you talk politics, occasionally?”

  “Monsieur, I do not indulge myself so far. You understand, a merchant—”

  “Oh, my dear Monsieur Lebrenn! You are a man of the good old pattern; that’s what you are; I’m glad of it! Right you are not to meddle in politics! It is the silly mania that spoiled everything. In those good old times, that I was speaking about to you, nobody grumbled. The King, the clergy and the nobility ordered — and everybody obeyed without saying a word.”

  “Sure! Sure! It must have been very convenient, monsieur.”

  “Zounds! I should say so!”

  “If I understand you rightly, monsieur, the King, the priests and the seigneurs said: ‘Do that!’ — and it was done?”

  “Just so!”

  “Pay! — and people paid?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Go! — and people went?”

  “Why! Yes! Yes!”

  “In short, everything as on the parade ground — to the right! — to the left! — forward! — double quick! People did not even have the trouble to will this or that?
The King, the seigneurs and the clergy took to themselves the trouble of willing for us? And they have changed that! They have changed all that!!!”

  “Fortunately we need not despair, my dear Monsieur Lebrenn.”

  “May the good God hear you!” said the merchant, rising and bowing respectfully to the Count. “Monsieur, to command.”

  “So, then, next Sunday — at the tournament. You will come, my good fellow — you — your family — agreed?”

  “Certainly, monsieur, certainly. My daughter will not fail to attend the festivity — seeing she is to be the queen of — of?”

  “Queen of Beauty, my dear fellow! It is not I who assign the role to her — it is Nature!”

  “Oh, monsieur, if you would only allow me—”

  “What?”

  “To repeat in your name to my daughter the gallantries that you have uttered about her.”

  “Why, my dear fellow, not only do I authorize you to do so, but I request you. Moreover, without further ceremony, I shall myself carry to Madam Lebrenn and her charming daughter the invitation that I extend to them.”

  “Oh, monsieur — the poor women — they will feel so flattered by your good will towards us. I shall say nothing about myself; if I were to receive the Cross of Honor I could not feel prouder.”

  “You are a first class fellow, my dear Lebrenn!”

  “Your servant, monsieur, your servant with all my heart,” repeated the merchant, moving away.

  The moment, however, that the linendraper reached the door, he seemed to change his mind, scratched himself behind the ear, and returned to the Count of Plouernel.

  “Well, my dear fellow?” asked the Count, rather astonished at his return. “What is the matter?”

  “The matter is,” said the merchant, continuing to scratch the back of his ear, “meseems a thought strikes me — I beg your pardon for the great liberty—”

  “Zounds! Speak up! Why should you not have an idea — as well as anybody else?”

  “That’s true, monsieur, it sometimes happens that the common people, like the noble folks, do not desiderate — ideas.”

  “Do not desiderate — what the devil does that word mean? I do not remember ever to have heard it.”

  “It is a good, square, old word, monsieur, which means to lack. Moliere often uses it.”

  “How, Moliere!” exclaimed the astonished Count. “Do you read Moliere, my good fellow? Indeed, I did notice, while you were speaking, that you often used old turns of expression.”

  “I shall tell you why, monsieur: When I noticed that you spoke to me in the style that Don Juan uses to Monsieur Dimanche, or Dorante to Monsieur Jourdain—”

  “What are you driving at?” put in the Count of Plouernel, more and more taken aback, and beginning to suspect that the merchant was not quite so simple as he seemed. “What do you mean?”

  “Well,” proceeded Lebrenn in his tone of bantering simplicity, “well, when I noticed that, then, in order to reciprocate the honor that you were doing me, monsieur, I, in turn, assumed the language of Monsieur Dimanche, or of Monsieur Jourdain — I beg your pardon for my great liberty — and meseems, according to what little judgment I have, monsieur, meseems you would not greatly object to taking my daughter for your mistress—”

  “What!” cried the Count, utterly disconcerted by this brusque apostrophe. “I do not know — I do not understand what you mean—”

  “Oh, monsieur! I am but a plain man — I can only speak as my little judgment dictates.”

  “Your little judgment! It serves you very poorly. Upon my honor, you are crazy! Your idea lacks common sense.”

  “Indeed? Oh, well, so much the better! I said to myself, follow closely, if you please, my plain way of reasoning — I said to myself: I am a good bourgeois of St. Denis Street; I sell linen; I have a handsome daughter; a young seigneur — because it does seem we are returning to the days of young seigneurs — has seen my daughter; he covets her; he gives me a large order; he adds offers of service, and, under the pretext—”

  “Monsieur Lebrenn — there are jokes I do not tolerate from people!”

  “I agree — but follow closely my plain way of reasoning, if you please, monsieur: The young seigneur, I said to myself, proposes to give a tournament in honor of my daughter’s pretty eyes, and to come frequently to see us, all with the only end in view, by thus playing the good Prince, to succeed in seducing my child.”

  “Monsieur,” cried the Count, growing purple with vexation and rage, “by what right do you allow yourself to impute such intentions to me?”

  “That’s well, monsieur; I call that speaking to the point. You would not, is it not true? scheme a plot that is not only so unworthy, but so supremely ridiculous?”

  “Enough, monsieur, enough!”

  “Good! Good! You did not — I shall suppose you did not, and I feel better at ease. Otherwise, you see, I would have been compelled to say to you, humbly, respectfully, as becomes poor people of my class: Pardon me, my young seigneur, for the great freedom that I am taking, but you see, the daughters of the good bourgeois are not to be seduced in that way. Since about fifty years ago, that sort of thing can no longer be done, not at all, absolutely not. Monsieur Duke, or Monsieur Marquis still calls the bourgeois, men and women, of St. Denis Street rather familiarly dear Monsieur Thing, dear Madam Thing, looking, with habitual race conceit, upon the bourgeoisie as an inferior species. But, zounds! To go further than that would no longer be prudent! The bourgeois of St. Denis Street are no longer afraid, as once they were, of lettres de cachet to the Bastille. And if Monsieur Duke, or Monsieur Marquis took it into his head to be discourteous to them — to them or to their family — bless my soul! the bourgeois of St. Denis Street might bestow a thorough drubbing — pardon me, monsieur, for this great freedom — I said, might administer a thorough drubbing to Monsieur Marquis or Monsieur Duke — even if he were of royal or imperial lineage.”

  “‘Sdeath, monsieur!” ejaculated the colonel, hardly able to restrain his anger, and turning pale with rage. “Are you making threats to me?”

  “No, monsieur,” calmly answered Lebrenn, dropping his tone of banter and proceeding in firm and dignified accents; “no, monsieur; it is not a threat, it is a lesson I am giving you.”

  “A lesson!” cried the Count of Plouernel, furious with rage. “A lesson! to me!”

  “Monsieur, despite all your race prejudice, you are a man of honor — swear to me upon your honor that, in endeavoring to introduce yourself into my house, that in tendering your services to me, it was not your intention to seduce my daughter! Yes, swear to that upon your honor, and, admitting my mistake, I shall retract all I said.”

  Thrown out of countenance by the alternative offered to him, the Count of Plouernel blushed, lowered his eyes before the steady gaze of the linendraper, and remained silent.

  “Oh!” said the linendraper sorrowfully, as if musing to himself, but loud enough to be heard by the Count of Plouernel. “They are incorrigible; they have forgotten nothing, learned nothing; we still are in their estimation a vanquished, conquered, subject race!”

  “Monsieur!”

  “Well, monsieur! I know my ground! No longer do we live in the days when, after having violated my daughter, you would have ordered me whipped with switches, and hanged afterwards before the gate of your castle, as was the practice in former centuries — and as was done to one of my own ancestors by that seigneur yonder—”

  Saying this Lebrenn pointed at one of the portraits that hung from the wall, to the profound astonishment of the Count of Plouernel.

  “The matter looked quite simple to you,” the merchant proceeded, “the notion of taking my daughter for your mistress. I am no longer your slave, your serf, your vassal, your chattel; playing the good Prince, you graciously condescended to have me take a chair, and you even addressed me patronizingly— ‘Dear Monsieur Lebrenn.’ There are Counts no longer, still you carry your title and the coat-of-arms of a Count. Civil equ
ality has been declared, and yet nothing would seem more monstrous to you than to marry your daughter or your sister to a bourgeois or a mechanic, whatever their worthiness and the honorable character that they might bear. Would you dare to gainsay my words? No; you might, perhaps, cite some exception, it would be but a fresh proof that such unions remain misalliances in your eyes. Trifles, you may say; they certainly are trifles — but what a grave symptom the attaching of so much importance to trifles is! You and yours, were you to become all-powerful in the nation to-morrow, would fatedly and necessarily, as happened under the Restoration, seek by little and little to re-establish your ancient privileges, which, from being trivial, would then become hateful, disgraceful and oppressive to us, as they were for centuries hateful, disgraceful and oppressive to our ancestors.”

  So stupefied was the Count of Plouernel at the transformation of the bearing, tone and language of the linendraper that he did not interrupt him. Assuming finally an air of haughtiness he replied ironically:

  “I doubt not, monsieur, that the moral of the beautiful lesson in history which you have had the kindness to read to me in your capacity of linendraper probably is that the priests and nobles should be sent to the lamp-post — as was the fashion in the good old days of 1793, and our daughters and sisters married to the nearest valet at hand.”

  “Oh, monsieur,” said the merchant in a tone of lofty sorrow, “let us not mention reprisals. Forget what your fathers suffered during those ominous years — I, on my part, will forget what our ancestors suffered, at the hands of yours, and, not during a few years, but during FIFTEEN CENTURIES OF TORMENT! Marry your daughters and sisters as it may please you, it is your right; believe in misalliances, that is your affair. These are facts that I mention; and, as a symptom, I repeat it, they are grave; they prove that, in your estimation, there are and ever will be two distinct races in the land.”

  “And supposing it is so, monsieur, what business is it of yours how we look upon things?”

  “The devil! It is very much our business, monsieur. The Holy Alliance, the divine and absolute right of Kings, the clerical party, aristocracy by birth and omnipotent in the nation — these are the inevitable consequences of the opinion that there are two races, a superior and an inferior one, one made to rule, the other to obey, and suffer. You asked what was the moral of this lesson in history? It is this, monsieur,” the merchant proceeded: “Being jealous of the liberties that our fathers conquered at the price of their blood and their martyrdom; — seeing we do not wish to be treated any longer as a conquered race; I in my capacity of an elector vote against your party so long as it remains upon the field of legality; but when, as happened in 1830, your party leaves the field of legality with the end in view of reducing us back to arbitrary and clerical rule, that is to say, to the system that obtained before 1789 — that moment I go out into the street, and fire bullets into your party.”