Release

by Jade Chandler

“Safer, maybe safest, but bikers are wild and there’s nothing safe in the lifestyle. I’m always on alert unless I’m beside Dare. It’s just common sense.” She shrugged. “Our world isn’t tame or illegal—it’s gray.

  “Then we have sheep.” She curled her lip. “They sleep with any brother, in as much as the guys want them to come back, no one fucks with them too badly.” She ate another fry, a furrow between her brows. “Sheep are fine unless they decide to be picky in the biker they choose or go after a man and the old lady disagrees.”

  She sipped her drink. “Girls, that’s you, have barely-there protection, maybe less than the sheep, because there’s no rules or reasons to leave you alone, if someone wants to fuck with Rock the easiest way is to fuck with you.”

  I gulped. “So I’m bait?” I had hoped talking to Lila would reassure me, but she scared me.

  “Nah, but you’re vulnerable and Rock’s protective. Be careful, stay close to him or me, because there’s all kinds of club power plays going on that he can’t tell you about.” She sighed. “I think it’s worth it, I like how you two fit together.”

  “So I obey, don’t stray, don’t cause waves and hope no one uses me, which means potentially abuses me to make a point with Rock.” I ticked off the rules. “I see no reason to say yes. We’re in a good place right now and it sounds like going would only be asking for trouble.”

  She didn’t answer, just took another bite of burger, then one fry, two, three. I began to think she’d never respond.

  “You go because you love him, and this isn’t a fling. You absolutely need to know if this is a life you can embrace.” She put her hand on mine. “You’ve been spooked since that scene at the club, and it was ugly, but not your fault, not Rock’s fault. I told you before safe isn’t happy, but you have to know what works for you.” She squeezed my hand. “You’ll never know if you don’t go.”

  Shit. I hated when she was right. I had deep feelings for Rock—he was a brother, that would never change. Before I’d seen Lila fall apart, the club had excited me, intrigued me but now I hated it. Was it because I was afraid? Or because I’d seen behind the fun and glamour of hot guys on cool bikes? One way to see. I owed Rock that, and more.

  “So I say yes.” I bit into my burger. “In person.” Rock worked today, after our fight I wanted to give him the good news personally.

  “Good plan,” she said. “You’ll be glad you came. The parties are fun and not wild, like when they go to the lake.”

  “So just lots of drinking and eating?” That’s what I’d seen everyone do at the bar.

  “And as the lights go low, there’s lots of nakedness, not like in front of everyone, but it’s easy to stumble across, and some things you just can’t unsee.” Lila laughed. “I stay beside Dare then, and well we have our own fun.”

  “I’ve seen your kind of fun. A crowbar couldn’t separate the two of you.” I snorted, but it bothered me a bit that my independent friend turned into possessive arm candy around Dare. It only increased my unease about the club.

  “It’s my job—to distract him, put him at ease, and me focused on him does that.” She gave me one of those goofy lovesick grins. “It stresses him being VP, he won’t tell me what bothers him, but if I can relax him, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do.” She meant what she said, it was clear in her tone of voice.

  “What if he wanted you to go at it in front of everyone?” I whispered the question.

  She leaned forward. “Then I’d do it, and it’d be sexy as fuck. He brings out the wild in me and has never once said slow down, don’t go there. So why would I do that to him?”

  That made me reconsider, maybe she wasn’t putting him ahead of her needs. Could they both want the same thing? I hadn’t thought so.

  “So when you get stuck together, you aren’t doing it for him? You like it?” I really wanted to understand.

  She scowled at me. “Fuck yeah, what do you think?”

  I cringed. “You were doing it because he wanted you to.” I squeaked as I spoke.

  “Grow up, Avery.” Her disdain hurt my feelings. “We’re adults doing what we love because we love each other. I’m no victim, someone that sacrifices herself.” She held her arms wide. “This is me, I’ve never been happier. Maybe you aren’t as free of the prejudices you talk about.” She rolled her eyes at me then focused on her food.

  I was a total bitch and she was right. I’d judged her because I didn’t understand her lifestyle. “I’m a sucky friend, I’m sorry.” I blew out a breath. “In my mind the club is this evil thing, I have to get over it. Maybe it’s my upbringing, but I think it’s that night we drove you home from Ardmore. I saw you shredded.” I met her gaze and she looked away. “You’re a thousand times tougher than me, if they could hurt you so bad, I don’t know... I just know it’s more than I could withstand, so I broke it off and ran.” I stared at the metal napkin dispenser, the chrome showed me a distorted reflection. “I guess I should stop running.”

  Lila grabbed my hand and squeezed hard. “Look at me.”

  I focused on her.

  “Hear me this time. I. Survived.” She jutted her chin at the stubborn angle. “If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be Dare’s old lady. Life is pain, joy, sadness and most of all risk. The club is just a bunch of men so loyal they’d die for each other. Not good, not evil, just people—some I like, some I don’t. You can’t even decide what you like because you are too busy making it a villain.” She pointed at me. “Is Rock a bad guy? With bad judgment?”

  Rock was the best man I’d ever met. “No, I trust him more than I do myself.” I gulped, that said it all. I huffed. “Okay, I get it. The club is no different than the town or my friends—just people. And I’m being a big bitch about the whole thing.”

  “You said it.” She gave me a smug grin. “Everyone deserves to be bitchy, but your time is up.” She threw a pickle at me.

  “Hey,” I caught the slice and popped it in my mouth. “I’ll give up the bitch stick for now, but I have a feeling it’s just going to end up with Glory. She’s not going to like me choosing Rock.”

  “That’s her problem.” Lila smeared her last fry in ketchup. “You can’t make everyone happy, hell you’re lucky if you make yourself happy.”

  “Then you’re lucky.” I grinned because Lila glowed with her happiness, so different than the heartbroken girl I’d met months ago.

  “Damn straight. I plan to stay that way.”

  “Lucky or happy?”

  “Both, that means pie.” She called the waitress over.

  We each had a slice of apple pie and discussed the best outfits for the party. Feeling set right, I left the diner with a lighter step. Only two steps out the door and my phone rang, it was Chet, my brother. I waved Lila on and walked over to my shop. Our conversations tended to last awhile.

  “Hey bro, how’s it going?” I let myself in the back door of my shop.

  “Got bad news.”

  My mind went to burns at welding or problems with Mom in seconds.

  “I can’t make it Wednesday night—evening work session.” Chet was taking a two-year welding program in Ardmore, and of course the instructor would pick family dinner night for the work night.

  “Well I’m not going by myself.” I’d done that two months ago, and I could still hear my father’s poisoned words ring in my ears. Failure. Not even a woman. Never find a husband. The insults had kept coming for two long hours without Chet there to divert him.

  “That’s why I’m calling, I figured you’d want to cancel with Mom first before I did, that way...” He didn’t finish. That way it wouldn’t look like I was ducking out when Chet couldn’t come.

  “If you’d just agree not to go, then I’d never go again,” I complained. I’d tried to convince him for a solid year to quit going.

  “Family is im
portant, one day they won’t be there.” He always said the same thing. “I know Dad’s hard on you and I hate that, but he’s the only one we got. Besides, you dish it back. You told me it doesn’t even bother you anymore.”

  I’d lied to him when he said I should stop going after one of my father’s nasty rants. He’d offered to go by himself. But if he went I would too. We’d spent years perfecting our diversionary tactics, but it was a combo act.

  “Yeah, I’ll call Mom now to tell her I’m feeling bad. You know how she hates germs.” I think she was a bonafide germaphobe.

  “Okay, sis, you be safe.”

  “Hey.” I wanted to catch him before he hung up. “You talk with Mark?”

  “A few weeks ago, I guess,” he mumbled.

  “Dammit, Chet, you aren’t forgetting 15 years of friendship because of a vest.”

  “You know it’s more than that.” His tone was serious. “But no, I’m not. We’re getting together next Monday night for drinks in Ardmore. But I’m not listening to Dad about him, and I told him that.”

  Our father hated the Jericho Brotherhood with a depth I didn’t understand. “Yeah, I get that.” If this thing with Rock worked out, that would be another fight, or likely he’d just disown me.

  “Be good,” I told my brother before I hung up. And he was—the easy child, the golden boy. Chet had always wanted everyone to get along when I’d rebelled with the piercings, hair color and clothes, he’d hated the angry words between Dad and me, but he’d never once said a bad thing about my choices. He was just like Mom in that way.

  As soon as I hung up with Chet, I pushed the button to call Mom.

  “Avery June, how are you?” I could hear the smile in her voice.

  “I’ve been better.” After talking to Chet, that wasn’t even a lie. “I’ve got some stomach issues.” Our code for that time of the month. “After working tomorrow, I won’t be up to dinner—I’ll just be too out of sorts.”

  “Oh dear, you’re cursed just like me. I don’t even know how you work.” She caressed me with the concern in her voice. “You just rest up, and we’ll see you next week. I know your dad will understand you being under the weather.”

  If there was one thing my father never wanted to discuss, it was our periods. Any vague reference to it and he booked it out of the room as fast as possible. When Mom took to her bed the first day of her period every month, he didn’t even bitch. He was such a stereotypical man in all the bad ways, anyway. I cleared my mind and promised myself no more negative thoughts about my father, Chet was right, he was the only one we had, and there were worse in the world than him.

  Chapter Ten

  Rock

  I dropped Avery off for lunch with Mama and hit the shop. Mark grinned at me, and I gave a nod. My mood was shit after the fight with Avery this morning. No way we could go forward if she didn’t accept the club. After this morning, I no longer was sure she would ever be good with the Brotherhood.

  My best hope was Mama, if anyone understood the club it was her, and Avery respected her opinion. I was positive the cluster fuck of a scene at the club last April had turned her against us. Hell, it’d sickened me, but one screw up didn’t define the club or even represent it. I turned on the computer to finish up some paperwork and dig deep for a mood that wasn’t pissy. Shit normally rolled off my shoulders, but lately it stacked up so fast I couldn’t get rid of it before more rolled on. Marr would solve my problem—just a single session in her dungeon. Fuck, no, I needed to go cold turkey on that shit. Otherwise I’d have to tell Avery. She wasn’t even comfortable with my club, I didn’t need to add my kinky pain addiction to the reasons she should run the other fucking way.

  “Hey bastard, you’re closing. Why you here?” Zero barged in, and sat his ass on top of my papers.

  “Get the fuck off.” I shot a handy rubber band at him, “And keep going.”

  “Ouch.” He stood and rubbed his arm. “You woke up grouchy. You got woman troubles?” he crooned.

  “Leave before my foot helps you out the damn door.” I wasn’t in the mood for his shit. The brother always had a way of picking at the one spot that bugged me the most.

  “Someone needs his ass whipped—I got her number.” He waggled his eyebrows as he pulled out his phone. “Marr, right?”

  Was I that easy to read? I shut my eyes, trying to calm down.

  Mark stuck his head in and cringed when he glanced at my face. “Uh boss.”

  I still hadn’t gotten used to the guys calling me boss, in my mind that was Dare.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “John’s here to get a touch up on his piece, but Weasel isn’t here.” Mark glanced at his watch. “Ten minutes late, and he doesn’t answer his phone.”

  “Goddammit.” I eyed Zero. “You do it?”

  He held hands up. “Nah, I’m only busting your balls waiting for my girl to get here, I got two hours of work ahead of me.”

  Fucking Weasel. This was the third time he hadn’t shown for an appointment. That needed to change, soon.

  I stood and sucked in a breath before I headed out to John. “Hey brother, Weasel got hung up. Show me what you need, and maybe I can help.”

  John clasped my hand with a frown. “Weasel did this piece six weeks ago, but the color isn’t holding tight. I mean it gets sun every day, but nothing has faded like this.”

  I examined the Captain America shield and silently cursed. The stupid fucker had screwed up the art with the wrong ink.

  “You can reschedule or I’ll go in and make that shit shine.” I didn’t know how tight he was with Weasel. “And you know this work is on the house.”

  John grinned. “You got the time, I’d be happy for you to do it now. I got be back to work in an hour, that work?”

  I’d make it work. “Mark, show him to the back while I grab the supplies.”

  I grabbed the right inks and needles thinking about all the ways I might pop off the lazy fuck’s head.

  As I left storage Mark passed me. “Hey.”

  Mark stopped and turned to me.

  “Weasel shows up, sit his ass in my office until I’m done, yeah.”

  Mark gulped and nodded.

  I snapped on the gloves and swabbed the tattoo, I pulled out my phone and snapped a shot of the work. Shit, the ink wasn’t even holding inside the solid line—fucker might need to learn his art again. “Bro, I’ll do what I can, then you come back to me if we don’t get done. And when we schedule that shit, pick out something the same size on me.”

  John laughed. “You know how to make my day.” He leaned back into the barber chair. I attached the needle and grabbed the cup of red color. The buzz of the gun calmed me. I redid the red stripes, lining each one with a bit of darker ink to make it pop. Weasel had half-assed his way through the piece. I outlined the star in blue, then filled in the inner circle. The color looked good. “Did you want the white in the piece?”

  “Does it need it?”

  “Up to you.” I lifted my shirt showing him the skeleton I had on my lower abdomen. The white brightens up the design, up here I pointed to a Kachina I’d had for years. This is without white.

  “I’m out of time today. But yeah, I want the white.” I saw the moment he realized he’d gotten shit work before. I never wanted to see that look on another customer’s face.

  I doctored the tat and put on the gauze. “If you can, keep it covered until you come back, at least while you’re outside. A week without sun will help. Mark has my schedule, he’ll set you up.”

  “Yeah, I never knew that. Thanks, man. I’ll see Mark.”

  I walked up ahead of John, Mark signaled to my office, I booked it inside and shut the door.

  “I’m here.” Weasel scowled at me. “Why you taking my clients?”

  “You smel
l like moldy weed.” I might be sick if I had to stay in here too long with him.

  “Fuck off. I’m twenty minutes late and you think you can do my work,” he blustered.

  “Someone has to since you fucked it up, using the new ink that’s not for sun—you didn’t add the white. Your fucking colors were fading and bleeding.” I ticked off all the shit wrong with the piece. “We do solid, excellent work here. This is bad work.” I pulled up the photo. “Well if you fuck like you ink, I feel sorry for Angel.”

  “Motherfucker.” He dived for me and fell across the desk.

  I was around in a second and had him by his dirty shirt front. “I’m your boss, and you are doing shit work. Get right or get out.” I opened the door and threw him out of my office. He skidded across the floor and rammed into the counter. “Weasel got anything else scheduled?”

  Mark, wide-eyed, looked down at the schedule. “Um, no.”

  “Be here at noon tomorrow, ready to work.” I pointed to the door.

  Weasel hurried out the door, not saying another damn thing. I needed to get another artist in soon. Did I need to get Jericho’s permission? Fuck, I’d hoped to lie low a bit before needing to change shit up here.

  “Boss.” Mark gestured to the side.

  Mama and Avery watched every move.

  Son of a bitch. Now what would Avery think. With my luck she was here to break it off.

  “Hey, ladies.” I grinned but it was forced. “Enjoy the show?”

  “He’s needed an ass kicking for months.” Mama sniggered. “I told you this job was made for you.” She shot Avery a glance, but I have no idea what it meant, then she ambled down the hall. “See ya’ll later.”

  “Hey, almita.” I sighed moving toward her. “You need something?”

  “I’ve never seen you all badass, it’s sexy.” She beamed up at me and I was lighter.

  “How sexy?” I could get behind sexy.

  “Very.” She leaned up and kissed me. I fell into her embrace, needing her touch and taste. When she was with me, everything was possible.

  “Get a damn room,” Zero yelled before he whistled. “That’s pretty sexy.”