Undone
Page 19
Luc’s lips brushed my nape as I reached for a mug from the cabinet. “I think someone liked the way I wore her out last night.”
A shiver rushed down my spine. I had liked that. More than I’d expected. Of course, I loved anything he did to me when he was in domineering-Luc mode. And I was deathly afraid what I was about to do was going to take that Luc from me all over again.
He set a carton of creamer on the counter beside my hand, then stepped away. Cool air washed over me where all his heat had just been, and as the chill sank into my bones, it was all I could do not to turn, grab him, and convince him to run away with me for good.
Except running wasn’t going to save us. Not from his family. Not from his House. Not from what I was about to do.
“This is all ready,” he said as he carried two bowls to the table. “Come over here and eat before it gets cold.”
I gathered my courage and turned toward the table with my coffee. Sinking into a seat by the window, I tucked one leg under me and looked down as he set a bowl of oatmeal near my hand and placed a platter of bacon in the middle of the table.
With a kiss to the top of my head, he said, “Eat, angioletto. If you keep losing weight you’re going to start looking like those models at Covet. I like my woman curvy, not built like a ten-year-old boy.”
That comment drew a reluctant smirk from me, especially when I remembered all those stick-skinny models who’d flirted shamelessly with him in the Covet halls in New York, and the ones who’d thrown themselves at him at the fashion shows in Rome. “That won’t happen. I like ice cream too much.”
“Gelato.” He smiled as he sat in the seat next to me and stirred his own oatmeal. “I remember. We should have gotten you some when we were in Edinburgh yesterday.”
Just the mention of our trip to Edinburgh made my smile falter. I looked down at my breakfast and knew I needed to eat it, but that sickness was back, swirling in my gut, and I was afraid if I tried, the food would just come back up.
I managed to eat a few bites without getting sick, but for the most part, I just pushed my food around in my bowl as we chatted about the weather and Luc talked about taking a drive up to the Highlands to show me some of the castles.
“You know,” he finally said with a wary voice as I stared down into my bowl for the hundredth time. “It’s not going to magically jump into your mouth.”
“I’m sorry.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes, and I dropped my spoon and covered my face with my hand. “I’m just... I’m really not that hungry, and you went to all this trouble and—”
“Hey.” His hand covered mine on the table. “It’s okay. I was only teasing. Just talk to me. I can tell you’re upset. Was it last night? Did I push you too far? Because if I di—”
“What? No.” I dropped my hand and looked at him. His eyes were locked on me, and there was a fear swirling in those stormy pools I hadn’t seen before. I squeezed his hand, wanting to reassure him. “I liked what you did last night. I loved it, actually.” I placed my other hands on our joined ones on the table. “I’m not upset about that at all.”
“You’re upset about something. Was it the session yesterday? When Abigail asked you to leave? That wasn’t about you. She just didn’t think I’d be honest with my answers with you there. We didn’t even really talk about you or us. We mostly talked about how I was raised, the way I see the world, and the way I see myself in it. I wanted you to be there, but in retrospect, she was right—I probably wouldn’t have answered her questions as freely with you there because my viewpoint has been really screwed up until now. It wasn’t—”
“I know.” I squeezed his hand again. “And I’m not upset about that. I promise. I get it. I’m glad talking to her yesterday helped.”
“It did, but what really helped was you opening up to me the night before. That’s what made the difference. The session with Abigail only reinforced the things you made me see.”
Those tears came rushing back, and I closed my eyes and breathed slowly through my nose. His House saw Luc as a pawn, something they could move and manipulate to their advantage. But I knew he was a deeply emotional, loyal man. One I was about to hurt deeply.
“Talk to me, vita mia.” He placed his other hand on mine, cocooning me in the warmth of his grip. “Tell me what’s going on. I can’t handle seeing you so upset.”
“I want to, I just...” I pursed my lips. “I’m afraid you’re going to be mad.”
“At you?” He brushed a tear from my cheek I hadn’t realized had slipped free. “Impossible.”
“You’ve been plenty mad at me before.”
“Frustrated, maybe. But mad? Never.”
The teasing tone of his voice tugged at one corner of my lips, and I blinked damp lashes and looked down at our joined hands.
“Talk to me, angioletto,” he whispered. “You’re the one who said if we don’t talk about things, they’ll just continue to fester. And you were right.”
Damn him for throwing my words back at me. I drew in one last breath and looked up at him. “It wasn’t the session yesterday. It was what happened while you were in the session.”
“What happened?” His eyes grew serious. “Did someone hurt you?”
“No,” I said quickly. “It was nothing like that. It was...” I looked down at our hands again. “While I was waiting for you, I decided to check out some of the shops in the area and in one of them...”
His fingers tightened around mine. “In one of them what?”
I exhaled and forced myself to meet his gaze. “I ran into Gio.”
For a heartbeat, he didn’t move. But I watched his eyes darken. I watched his jaw tighten beneath the sexy scruff on his skin. And I watched his entire body shift from relaxed and at ease to tense and ready to attack.
“Did he touch you?” he asked in a low voice.
“No,” I lied. “H-he just wanted to talk.”
“About what?”
The chill to his voice made my stomach contract. My heart screamed for me to be honest, to tell him what had really happened, but my head whispered if I did, things would not end well. A hurricane roared in his eyes. One that told me he would break any rule of his House to protect me. Even if it was to his own demise.
I swallowed hard, hating that I had no choice but to go through with this awful plan. “H-he wanted me to take a message to you. That was all. They—your father found Dante. They’re bringing him home. Gio said that after your”—I forced the vile word past my lips—“ritual, the Knights voted for a stay of leniency for Dante. But your father’s been obsessed with finding him. Now that he has, Gio’s afraid your father’s going to exact his own punishment on Dante. For running,” I added quickly. “I could tell Gio didn’t like having to turn to you for help, but he said that for whatever reason, you were the only one Dante seemed to listen to. He wants you to talk some sense into Dante before Dante has a chance to antagonize your father and make things worse.”
Luc stared at me without flinching. And in the silence, my heart beat hard and fast because I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Or if he could see right through my lie.
“When?”
“I’m not sure what you mea—”
“When are they bringing him back? To Tuscany?”
“Oh.” I licked my lips. “Today, I think. Gio was a little vague. I’m not sure wh—”
He let go of me and pushed back from the table.
“Where are you going?” I said as he turned for the hall.
“I need to call Marco and find out what’s going on.”
Oh shit... I lurched to my feet. “I can do that for you. I know you don—”
He turned to face me from across the room. But it was his eyes that cut off my words. Hard, cold, as deadly as I’d ever seen them. “Did he say anything else? How long he’s been watching us? What he’s going to do if I don’t do what he wants? Who fucking sent him?”
I swallowed hard and twisted my suddenly shaking hands in front of me. Ye
ah, he said he and his sick friend were going to rape me in front of you if I didn’t bring you back. Probably torture and murder me as well.
“N-no,” I heard myself say. “Nothing.”
He was silent for a moment, then said, “And why didn’t you tell me this last night?”
I twisted my hands together, searching for any excuse that would make sense. “I-I wanted to, but... Yesterday was so emotional and complicated, and I didn’t want to make things worse when you seemed to finally be feeling…better.”
It was a terrible excuse. One that made me want to vomit all over again. And it wasn’t even close to the truth. I hadn’t told him because I was a coward.
His gaze held mine. I wanted to shrink into nothing under that withering stare. Without another word, he clenched his jaw and turned for the stairs.
I didn’t try to stop him. I didn’t know what I could say that would make anything better. All I could do was sink back into my chair, close my eyes, and pray that somehow Marco cued in to my lie before Luc grew suspicious. And that he would help me get Luc back to Italy before our world imploded around us.
Luc barely spoke on the flight back to Italy. He was a rumbling volcano of stress I was afraid might blow at any time. And I was the reason for every moment of his physical and mental anguish.
Marco and Felicity had still been in Scotland on holiday when Luc called them. I wasn’t sure how Marco had reacted to Luc’s call, but he and Felicity had rushed right back to the estate, and Marco had arranged for the jet to be fueled up and waiting for us within hours.
I was pretty sure he’d covered for my lie with Luc, but I hadn’t had a chance to speak to Marco alone to get the details. And at the moment, I was too worried about Luc to leave him to find out what was going to happen when we reached Italy.
I squeezed Luc’s hand where it rested on the armrest between us on the fancy private jet. His fingers curled around mine, but he didn’t look back at me. Just continued to stare out the window at the view far below as he’d done for the last hour.
I wasn’t sure how to read that. I didn’t have a clue what I could do to make him feel better. I only knew that he did not want to go back to Italy. And it was the last place in the world I wanted to be as well.
“I love you,” I whispered. “And I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you about Gio earlier, but I didn’t want to upset you. I do—”
“It’s okay.” He squeezed my hand again but still didn’t look away from the window. “It’s not your fault.”
It was, though. Tears burned my eyes. Tears I was not going to be able to hold back much longer. I looked away from him.
“Natalie?” Felicity called from the galley. “Do you want a drink?”
“Yeah.” I let go of Luc and swiped at my cheek, desperate to keep from crying in front of him. I pushed to my feet. “I’ll help you.” To Luc, I said, “Do you want anything?”
“Nothing.”
He still didn’t turn toward me, didn’t look my way. Didn’t do anything but continue to stare out that window. And unable to stand the guilt any longer, I walked away from him.
As soon as I stepped into the galley, Felicity shoved a glass of clear liquid into my hand. “Drink this.”
I sniffed. “What is it?”
“Vodka. You need it. Drink all of it.”
I didn’t even try to protest. I felt like I was about to crack into a thousand pieces from the stress and guilt. I downed the shot with a grimace and held the glass out to her. “Another.”
Felicity refilled my glass and watched me as I downed the second shot. “For the time being, you two are staying with us. I called ahead and had the cottage made up for you.”
I nodded and set the glass on the counter in front of me.
“You’re safe on and off the property now, but Marco and I figured you’d feel more comfortable there.”
“Thanks. I will.”
She glanced into the main cabin, where Luc was still staring out the window, oblivious to us. “Marco picked up on your lie right away. He didn’t give anything away to Luc.”
I nodded again, but that sickness was swirling inside once more.
“That was a smart way to get him to go back, but Luc’s going to figure out pretty quickly that Dante’s still missing.”
“I know.” I raked my hand through my hair, dreading that moment. “I don’t know what I’m going to tell him when he realizes I lied to him.”
“Don’t say a word. With any luck, he’ll think Gio’s the one who lied.”
I glanced her way. “That won’t help matters. If he goes after Gio, shit’s going to hit the fan.”
“Marco and I don’t think he’ll go after Gio. Regardless of how much he hates Gio, he won’t do anything to put you in danger. Everything he did was to keep you safe, Natalie. He won’t risk that just because he thinks Gio lied.”
I closed my eyes and swallowed back the bile pushing up my throat. He would if he knew what Gio had done to me. Or what Gio had threatened to do to me.
Felicity’s hand squeezed my shoulder. “It’ll be okay so long as you hold it together. You kept Luc centered before. It’s imperative you do that again. He’s going to need you now more than ever.”
I forced my eyes open and glanced back toward Luc, still staring out the window with that unreadable expression. I could do that. I would do anything for him.
I was just deathly afraid once he found out the truth of how I’d betrayed him, he’d never want me anywhere near him again.
It was nearly dusk when we walked back into the guest cottage on Marco and Felicity’s property near Siena in central Italy.
The villa was just as I remembered. Uneven stone walls, an arched brick ceiling, aged wood floors, and old-world furnishings accented with golds and browns and pale blues. Luc and I had fought in this cottage. We’d ignored each other in this cottage. And he’d made me fall in love with him all over again right here when he’d told me that I was his and he was mine and that no one else in the world mattered but us.
As Felicity and I moved deeper into the villa, Marco dropped our bags on the hardwood floor, then set the keys in his hand on the entry table. “I’m leaving these here for you,” he said to Luc at my back. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“No, I’m fine,” Luc said in a low voice. “I can handle it.”
“I really don’t think you should go over there on your own.”
They were talking about his parents’ house. I shoved aside the nostalgia and turned toward both of them, intent on being that calming force I knew Luc needed. “He won’t be going alone. I’m going with him.”
“Good girl,” Felicity said at my side.
Marco’s shoulders relaxed, but Luc shot me a blistering look, one I knew was laced with disapproval. “That’s not a good idea.”
I refused to be shaken by the fact it was the first time he’d looked at me since I’d told him about Gio. Straightening my spine, I walked toward both men standing in the entryway. “Too bad. I’m your wife. Through good times and bad, remember? I’m going.”
“Cristo santo.” He looked toward Marco. “Talk some sense into her, would you?”
Marco shook his head. “Sorry. I’m on her side.”
Luc sighed. “It’s not safe.”
“It is safe.” Marco slapped him on the shoulder. “You made it safe for her. Stop arguing with the woman and just accept she’s right. You’re not going to win this battle, and you’re not going alone. In fact, the sooner you learn your woman here is always right, the easier your life will be.” He looked past Luc toward me. “You should probably drive.”
“I can drive a damn car,” Luc snapped. “I’m not an invalid.”
“No, you’re a powder keg waiting for a spark,” Felicity muttered under her breath.
Marco smirked. To me, he said, “Give him a few shots of Macallan before you go. That should chill him out.”
Luc frowned and rested his hands on his hips. “I’m right here, you kn
ow. I can hear every damn word you’re all saying.”
Marco only grinned. “Back to your same stubborn, brooding self. I’d say he’s been rehabilitated. What do you think, Fee?”
“I think you may be right.” She moved up on Marco’s side in the entryway and slipped her arm around his waist. “Be nice to your pretty wife. She doesn’t want to be here any more than you do. And, for the record, we women are always right.”
As the two slipped out the door and it closed at their backs, Luc’s gaze slid my way again. His eyes weren’t quite as hard as they’d been before, but they weren’t all that inviting either. “I still don’t think you should go.”
“I know.” But there was no way in hell I was letting him do this on his own. I moved toward him and stopped when I was only a few inches away. “I’m still going with you.”
“Natalie...” He closed his eyes and drew in a shuddering breath. “I don’t know how I’m going to react when I see them.”
“That’s why I’m not letting you go alone.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his chest. “You need me there even if you don’t want to admit it. And I need to be there to keep you safe.”
For a heartbeat, he didn’t move, then he sighed and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. And as his warmth and familiar scent surrounded me, my heart raced just as it did every time I was enveloped in his love.
“You can’t protect me from them,” he whispered into my hair.
“I will, though.” I held him tighter and closed my eyes against the sting of tears once more. “They can’t have you. You’re mine. You’re only mine, Luc. I’m going to make that clear to them.”
He leaned down and pressed his face into my hair, holding me even closer. “Non lasciarmi mai.”
I held him to me, unsure what he’d said. But I didn’t need the words to know what he felt. It was the same thing I felt. That together, we were unbreakable.
I squeezed my eyes tighter and prayed he still felt that way after tonight.
As soon as I turned onto the Salvatici property in the rolling hills just outside Florence, I knew I’d made a mistake.