Home to Wind River

by Lindsay McKenna

  Eyes widening, Lily gulped. “I have a lot to learn.”

  “You aren’t putting her in there, are you, Jake?” Steven asked, sauntering up to the group.

  “No. Lily is out of the cabin for some fresh air for another hour. I thought she might want to see the four of you hog-tie those calves.”

  Red caught Lily’s glance. “You stay away from the fence a good two feet and just watch. Okay?”

  “The only thing is that you’ll get dust all over yourself,” Elena warned her drily.

  “I’m not afraid of a little dust,” she said.

  “You aren’t a city person, are you?” Casey inquired.

  Lily shook her head and told them about her family’s potato farm in southern Idaho.

  “And you’re out here for how long?” Red wondered.

  “Just until Jenna heals up. About two months, more or less, depending how long it takes.”

  “Well,” Elena said, “maybe you’ll fall in love with the Wind River Ranch. Who knows? Maybe we’ll make a wrangler of you and you’ll stay here with us.”

  “I did this kind of work on our potato farm,” Lily said, gesturing to the fences.

  “Good work-ethic background,” Casey agreed.

  “Let’s get to vaccinating,” Jake said, pulling on his gloves.

  Lily stepped aside, allowing the wranglers to do just that. The sun felt warm upon her and she remained a few feet away from the heavily constructed corral. It was far more fortified than the kind used for cattle. Jake stood out in the crowd because of his size and height. She wasn’t sure she wanted to watch because she feared someone might get injured. She hoped Red was wrong about a medical emergency. She didn’t know what her reaction would be to the sight of a lot of blood since leaving the Army. Taking care of Jenna’s stitches didn’t bother her, but there was no blood.

  Closing her eyes, she willed away what she’d seen the next morning in the Afghan village. Her stomach grew nauseated. No ... she couldn’t go there. Anxious at the possibility of another flashback stalking her, she forced herself to turn and go to the horses tied along the fence. The bleating and bawling of the calves rankled her nerves. They sounded similar to the cries of terror she’d heard from the Afghan children.

  She didn’t have much experience with horses, but there was a flashy black-and-white pinto close to her. As she approached, the gelding turned his head, his blue gaze on hers. Halting, Lily thought the horse had the most beautiful eyes she’d ever seen. The animal nosed her arm, muzzle soft, his nudge slight but welcoming.

  Smiling, she said, “Hi. What’s your name?” She saw a pair of short leather chaps lying across the western saddle. On the leather waistband she saw “RED.” They must belong to her. And this horse, too, must belong to her. Lily thought the showy pinto and the woman with the bright red hair suited each other.

  “Can I come closer?” she asked the horse, uncertain. He was a big horse, with a broad chest, a long neck and thick, sturdy hindquarters. He looked like a tank to Lily, but his demeanor was easygoing, and she felt safe enough to take a step toward him, her hand tentatively outstretched.

  His muzzle was velvety as she lightly stroked it. His ears were pointed toward her, and she felt as if he was just as inquisitive about her as she was about him. The pinto unexpectedly licked her hand with his long, pink tongue.

  Laughing a little, Lily stepped back in surprise, her fingers and wrist wet.

  The pinto nickered again, as if inviting her to come closer once more.

  She absorbed the companionship the horse offered her. Eventually, all the other sounds—the wranglers talking with one another, the bleating of the buffalo calves—faded away. Thrilled when she combed her fingers through the pinto’s black-and-white mane, feeling its strength, the shiny quality of the strands glinting in the sun, she once more felt a sense of safety. Oh, no question the horse was huge! She felt like an ant standing next to a big dog. The pinto never moved his large-hoofed feet, just casually switching his long tail back and forth from time to time. She could feel he liked being petted and enjoyed the attention. She became bolder, running her fingers through his short, shiny hair, down his long neck. A thrill raced through her, a vibration of happiness flooding her chest. It felt so good to become part of something bursting with life, with beauty and a sense of trust that had been so easily created between them.

  * * *

  Jake divided his attention between his knowledgeable and fully capable wranglers and covertly watching Lily in the distance. Something about this vaccination was disturbing her, and he thought it might be the sound, the noise or something else he couldn’t put his finger on presently. When one of the buffalo calves started wailing for his mother while in the chute, he saw her wince, pull away and quickly walk toward the horses tied farther down. Her back was turned to him, so he couldn’t read her expression. She was fragile. Hell, he had been, too, the first year out of the corps and thrown back into civilian life, grappling to appear normal when he knew he never would be again. He wished he knew her triggers: the sounds, smells, colors, faces, words, whatever. That he had no idea gnawed at him.

  Twenty-five minutes later, all the calves were reunited with their worried buffalo mothers. Red had opened the end of the corral, and they all trotted out and into a larger pasture, where the rest of the herd was grazing about a mile away. After thanking his wranglers for a job well done, Jake headed across the corral, out the gate and toward Lily, who was standing and talking with a pinto gelding named Checkers. The horse was one of the string the wranglers could choose to ride on any given day. The horse raised his head in his direction as he deliberately approached from an angle so Lily could see him coming, trying not to scare the living daylights out of her. To this day, he never liked anyone approaching him from the rear. That was a deadly zone, and because all the wranglers were vets, they never approach anyone from that direction either.

  He saw Lily lift her chin, turning her head slightly. Her tremulous smile made his heart thud with good feelings. Managing a poor semblance of a half-smile in return, he placed his hand on the gelding’s rump. “I see you and Checkers have become best buds.” Her eyes lit up, the darkness that had been there previously gone. There was even a slight pink tinge in her cheeks, no more marblelike flesh to be seen.

  “Checkers? What a great name for him!” and she patted his neck fondly.

  “Like black and white on a checkerboard,” he agreed. “Steven named him when he came here as a one-year-old.” He patted the horse’s rump. “You look better.”

  “I guess it’s the warmth of the sun on me, the breeze and Checkers’ wonderful friendship. He’s so gentle and yet so big.”

  Nodding, he said, “We use him as a trail horse for city kids who aren’t used to being around horses. We call him the gentle giant.”

  “He’s so sensitive. He gave me a horsey kiss on my hand. He licked it,” and she held it up toward him so he could see.

  Chuckling, feeling relief because Lily was no longer her introverted, serious self, Jake discovered this horse had done something good for her. “Well, if you like him, how about I give you some lessons on how to ride him in the coming days?” Her lips parted and his whole lower body blazed into a three-alarm fire. Lily wasn’t teasing him or trying to subtly turn him on. No, it was such a childlike look of wonder in her response that it caught him off-guard. But then, he warned himself once more, she was fragile. She had no shell in which to hide, no way to protect her emotional responses. Checkers was a big, intimidating horse, but Jake would bet a month’s pay that Lily saw him as a shield or a safety net.

  “Really? I could do that? I mean, I would have to take care of Jenna’s needs and taking her to physical therapy in Wind River first.”

  He wanted so badly to reach out and touch some of her runaway sable strands of hair but resisted, the sun glinting on the lighter, caramel-colored ones. Just then, she looked like a young woman who was fully and completely in love with life and all its promises. “O
f course, but you’ll have a spare hour or two every day. The house is only a mile from the headquarters and the barns where we keep these horses. I could let one of our wranglers know to keep Checkers in the barn for you on the day you’d like to ride.”

  “That sounds wonderful, but I know so little about horses.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.” He saw her becoming nervous. Did she not want him to teach her? He saw it as an excuse to spend some private time with Lily, his curiosity about her growing daily; he wanted to hear about her deployments, and to learn more about her experiences.

  “Jenna said you’re so busy right now with the grass leases.”

  “Oh that. No problem. I’m usually around HQ in the afternoons. My mornings are busy, but things ease up after one, unless there’s an emergency.”

  She patted Checkers’ neck. “I’d love to learn how to ride.”

  “I think Jenna would approve. Let’s head back to the house. Our time is about up.”

  Nodding, she fell into step with him, buoyant.

  “Did everything go okay with the babies being vaccinated?”

  “Yes, like clockwork. Elena keeps the calves quiet while Red gives them their shot. Steven and Casey let the calves out and guide them to the other corral so they can rejoin their mothers. They’ve done this a time or two.”

  She looked over her shoulder, seeing all four wranglers mounting their horses. Turning, she looked up at Jake. “Your wranglers were very nice. I love that they’re all vets like us. I guess it’s easier, because they’ve probably been through hell on deployments, just like we have.”

  Jake opened the door to the truck for her. “Count on it.” He placed his hand beneath her elbow, telling himself it was because his mother had taught him to be a gentleman. Now free of his gloves, he could feel the soft firmness of her skin as he helped her climb into the truck.

  Compared to how Lily looked before the excursion and right now, there was a night-and-day difference, he noted, as he drove back to the house. The tension was gone from her body and face. Her hands were still in her lap, but her fingers no longer twisted in constant, fractious movement. She sat against the seat, relaxed, not ramrod straight. Best of all, natural color was back in her face. He sensed a quiet happiness around her. The outing had done her good, and so had meeting Checkers.

  “I’ll be home for dinner tonight at six,” he told her, dropping her off at the front gate of the cabin. “Be sure to tell Jenna about your adventures.”

  “I will,” Lily promised. “See you tonight,” and she shut the door to the truck.

  Jake hesitated, watching her walk up to the porch. Even her step was lighter. In his days as a recon Marine, it had been the little details that could make the difference between life and death out in the sandbox. Now, he utilized that skill in a different way. He really needed to get Lily to trust him more, to come clean with him. Maybe teaching her to ride would do it. He hoped like hell it would.

  He didn’t want to look too closely at why his crazy heart had taken a shine to Lily. He wasn’t looking for a relationship. As Jake turned the truck, heading it out of the gravel driveway, his brows fell. He was worthless as a man thinking about a serious relationship with a woman. Since getting out of the corps, his love life, if it could be called that, had been sparse. Wind River Valley wasn’t a place where he could pick up a woman, have a night with her and leave in the morning with no strings attached. Besides, his three-year struggle with PTSD had been his only focus. That and remaining a good manager for the ranch.

  Lily, however, and for whatever reason, was making him yearn to have a genuine relationship again. But who wanted a PTSD-ridden man in their life? Waking her up with his screams? Afraid that if he had a flashback and she touched him out of concern, he might kill her with one movement of his hand. That scared the hell out of Jake. And Lily had demons of her own to contend with. Jake wasn’t worried she’d kill him in the throes of a flashback. She hadn’t been trained for hand-to-hand combat and wasn’t as strong as he was.

  There were so many hurdles staring at him that his desire seemed hopeless. And yet, her blue eyes shining with such life captured his heart. Never mind the soft shape of her full lips. For Jake, she was the whole package, and he felt damned to hell, cursed for life. He didn’t deserve someone like her. What was he going to do? How could he tame his need for her?

  * * *

  Lily was cleaning up the kitchen at nine that night. Jenna had just gone to bed. Jake was in the living room, reading the Wind River Valley newspaper. She discovered he didn’t like computers very much and used them grudgingly when he had to. Same with a cell phone. He was a throwback to another age, and her heart warmed to his old ways in today’s world.

  She put fresh coffee in the percolator and got it ready to plug in tomorrow morning, when Jake woke up at five a.m. There was a rhythm to the household now and she knew his schedule well enough to anticipate some little things that might make his day go easier. She had already made tuna fish sandwiches, which she found out he loved, and put them in a lunch sack in the fridge so he could grab and go in the morning.

  When he’d dropped her off, Jenna had told her that Jake loved pineapple upside-down cake. They’d rummaged through the cabinets, finding all the ingredients. Jenna had given her the recipe from memory, and they’d spent the afternoon laughing. Jenna had told her more about Jake’s childhood. By the time the cake was done, the fragrance of it filled the cabin. She’d then helped Jenna go through the daily physical therapy exercises. It would help her leg and hip heal. The older woman hated the rolling walker but used it grudgingly. Then they’d made one of Jake’s favorite boyhood meals: tuna and noodles with crunched-up potato chips for a topping.

  Her heart warmed even more as she saw the pleasure in his eyes as she’d placed the casserole on a trivet in the center of the table. Jenna laughed and patted his arm as he realized they’d made one of his favorite meals. He thanked them for it. Jake always gave Jenna, and then Lily, scoops of the steaming fare before piling the food on to his own plate. There wasn’t much left, maybe lunch for the three of them, from that casserole. Jake had eaten a lot of it, and Lily secretly smiled because his expression was readable tonight as never before.

  “Got a minute?” Jake asked.

  She turned, seeing him come to the table. “Sure.”

  He pulled out a notepad from his pocket. “I thought we might sit down and figure out when I could teach you about horses and riding.”

  Wiping her hands on a towel, she said, “I’m starting back to work at the shelter in town tomorrow.”

  Jake pulled out a chair for her to sit down. “I heard you talking to Jenna about that earlier. That’s all right. We’ll work everyone’s schedule into it and find times where you can learn to be a cowgirl instead of a spud farmer.”

  Laughing softly, Lily kept her voice low because she knew noise traveled down the hallway to Jenna’s room. Scooting the chair forward, she said, “I’m always open to learning something new.”

  Jake sat down at the end of the table, Lily to his right. He opened the notepad. “Give me your shelter schedule.”

  “Three days a week, a half a day in the afternoon, from one to four p.m.”

  “So, you have four days you’re at the cabin all day?”

  “Yes.” She watched him write everything down. Unconsciously, she inhaled his male scent. Jake always came home, climbed out of his dirty day clothes, took a quick shower and then put on clean duds. His beard darkened his face, but it only made him look stronger in her eyes. She liked his large, square hands, calluses across his palms, telling her how much physical work he did on a daily basis. “Do you have to work weekends, too, Jake?” The words popped out of her mouth before she could stop them.

  “No, not usually, but sometimes things happen, and I have to be there. What about you? Are there places or people you need to see on the weekends?”

  Shaking her head, she said, “No. I haven’t been in Wind River that
long, so I only know the ladies at Kassie’s Café.” She saw a gleam come into his eyes, but he said nothing. She had no idea what that look might mean.

  “It might be a good time to take you on your first couple of trail rides, then,” he said, writing it down on his notebook. “I’m not so much in demand on weekends.”

  “Okay,” she said, chewing on her lower lip for a moment, “but only if you have time.”

  “I’ll take Jenna to the store this Saturday. She wants some of her favorite foods. Maybe you’d like to go along? I’ll drive us into Jackson Hole. It’s a nice place, and you might enjoy getting out of here for a while.”

  Jenna was at a point in her recovery where a fifty-mile drive each way wouldn’t cause her issues. “Sure, I’d love to go along.”

  “Good. I thought we’d put Jenna in the rear cab seat and you could sit up front with me. Will that work?”

  Lily liked that he was sensitive to his mother’s needs. “Let’s ask her. It might be nice that she could stretch out her leg in the removable cast.”

  Grunting, he noted it. “Do you have anything you need in Jackson Hole? It has anything you might want, unlike Wind River.”

  “Not really. My attention will be on Jenna, her comfort and if she’s starting to tire at the grocery store.”

  “Right. I didn’t think of that.”

  “You’ve never had a broken leg, so you wouldn’t know.”

  A grin came to his mouth. “That’s true.”

  She smiled and held his thoughtful gaze. There was an ease between them, a natural one, as if they’d always known each other. Liking that connection and trust, she added, “Have you ever had a broken bone, Jake?”

  Holding up his left arm, he said, “My father gave me a palomino pony when I was seven. It was a birthday gift. My dad had him on a longe line. I was a pretty rough-and-tumble kid, hopped up on the pony and promptly slid off the other side, breaking my arm.”