“It gives dogged a new meaning, doesn’t it?” He dug into his fragrant omelet, glancing toward her. She, too, was hungry.
Between bites, Lily said, “It sure does. Jake? Have you thought what we should do when the puppies are six weeks old? We need to take Butterscotch to your mom. That leaves five puppies left who need a home. Shay and Reese said they wanted one of them. They have a wonderful, older golden retriever, Max, and Shay thinks he would love to have a younger companion.”
“Maud and Steve want one,” Jake added. “Roan and Shiloh Taggart heard about them, and he approached me weeks ago about taking one of the brood. Kira and Garret Fleming asked if we’d let them have one. I’ve been meaning to let you know, but other things happened, and I put it on a back burner.”
“There’s been a lot going on,” Lily agreed.
“Oh, and the other day at the hay and feed store, I talked to Pixie and Charlie when I was in town. She’d just come in with some oatmeal cookies for everyone, and I found out their old dog, Muster, died a few months ago at the ripe old age of fifteen. They said they’d love to have one of the puppies. And, of course, you get Athena.”
“What about Sage?” and she gave him a worried look. “Do we have room for two dogs in our lives, Jake?”
“Always. I would never try to take either her or Athena away from you, Lily. From what I can see, they’re healing for both of us. I’d like them to be a part of our family, if that’s okay with you.”
Was it ever! She reached over, squeezing his hand. “Thank you. I’ve stayed up some nights worrying and wondering what would happen to Sage and her brood.”
“Everyone who has asked for a puppy knows Border collies are herd animals and smart as hell, on a par with the Australian heelers and shepherds. They’re all great at herding cattle, cats and anything else, not to mention crazy sheep and goats.”
“I think once the puppies are gone, we should continue to give Sage time to recover from being a mom and get her full weight back. Then, have her spayed. She’s gone through enough. We don’t need her being made pregnant by a local dog and dealing with more puppies.”
“I agree,” he murmured.
“And Athena? I want her spayed when she’s old enough. That’s the right thing to do.”
“Yes. They can both have happy lives with us.”
“Sage has really taken to you. I wonder when the time is right for you to take her in the truck with you. I think she must have herded cattle. I watch her with her pups.”
“We see the same thing. I’ve already been thinking of taking her with me around the ranch. She’s a cattle dog, I’m sure. Roan works on the ranch, mainly with the cattle portion, and he’ll want a male pup to ride around with him. He does a lot of herding of cattle, and sometimes buffalo from horseback. He could use a good herd dog as a helper.”
“It’s so nice to know every one of them will be finding happy, caring homes.” Lily sighed, giving Athena, who was tuckered out, her eyes closed, sleeping across one of her shoes, a pat.
“I think we’re going to have a happy home with each other, Lily,” and he gave her a tender look.
She finished her omelet and set the dish aside. “Yes, and it’s been a long time coming.”
“Any regrets about last night?”
Shaking her head, she gave him a wistful look. “No . . . none.” She picked up her mug of coffee. “You?”
He grinned. “Zip. Zilch. Zero.”
Lily became serious. “Last night, I discovered something about myself. For so long, I believed all of me was destroyed. But it wasn’t. I was so drawn to you, Jake, and I wanted to get to know the person behind your walls. Most of all, I loved that you entrusted me with knowing the real you.” She pushed a curl away from her temple. “I questioned myself, my ability to love you like you deserved.” She inhaled raggedly and released a breath. “You deserved a whole woman, not half of one. I was so scared when we came together. At the last minute, I realized how much I wanted to love you. How long it had been since I’d had an orgasm. And then, the rest of this incredible awareness flooded my being. I knew I loved you, Jake. I’d been falling in love with you almost from the moment I met you. At the time, I didn’t know it. Last night, I knew it. I know the difference between sex and love. And while sex is great, we both know it’s just a part of love, not the entirety of it.”
Jake reached out, capturing her hand, her fingers warm because they had been wrapped around the coffee cup. “You weren’t the same person I knew before last night, Lily. I figured out pretty quickly that even though you were wounded, you weren’t shattered in every way. As a woman, you were incredible. There was no wounding to that part of you that I could see.”
She smiled tentatively, a little nervous. “You were right. I felt whole. I felt like my old self, and that’s the first time since Afghanistan the old me reappeared. It was shocking, but in a good way. It was then,” and she held his amused gaze, “I knew you had the maturity to handle whatever I needed, and you’d accommodate me. And you did. I’m still floating from last night with you.”
“I don’t want to come down from it either,” he admitted, drowning in the hope he saw building in her expression. For so long, Lily had fought to reclaim just a little bit of her old self. A scrap to hold on to, a foundation to regrow from. He relished her joy as it washed through him like bright, clean sunlight. Their coming together had given her a powerful new sense of confidence, and he thought that perhaps, for the first time, he was seeing Lily as she’d been before the PTSD happened.
“You didn’t seem to have any issues in that department,” she teased. “You loved me so well. Thank you,” and she touched his shaven cheek. “I’m still in a good kind of shock this morning because it seems like a dream I’ve had and I’m afraid I’ll wake up from it.”
“It’s no dream, Lily. It’s real. When I got cut loose from the Marine Corps, I was lost, just like you have felt. Trauma destroys the reality we grew up with. We’re cartwheeling and out of control, with no mooring, no anchor to hold us, support us or keep us grounded afterward. We were so used to combat; it was familiar to us. To step back into this other world, this other reality? I lost something so vital that once I’d consciously realized what it was, it made me feel like an alien living in this civilian world.”
“What was that?”
“The love you have for your teammates, that you’d give your life for any of them just as they would give theirs for you. Being a civilian, I no longer had that love that bound us as brothers and sisters in war. I drifted that first year, trying to re-create that connection, but I never could.”
Glumly, she looked away. “I had that with my Afghan team, as well as my patients in the villages we visited. I loved them even though we were in a war that raged around us all the time. And coming here, I felt incomplete. Abandoned. Alone. I never quantified it like you just have to me. I was aimless. No purpose. No goals. Just ... survive. And even when I could get a job, it didn’t fulfill me like it had when I’d been in Afghanistan. And then I met you. I trusted you right away, without ever knowing why.”
“Just as I automatically trusted you, I suspect, in the same unspoken ways.” He gave her a wry look. “Last night, I lay there thinking that I never wanted you to leave my bed, Lily. That I loved you.” He reached over, grazing her cheek, holding her tearful gaze. “I love you just the way you are. Together, we have a kind of imperfect perfection that I feel strongly will only get deeper and better as time goes on. For me, it’s powerful and healing. Having someone in your life who loves you and you love in return, and you understand what they’re going through? It’s a blessing in disguise for me.”
“For me, too. Last night I discovered an old, healthy part of myself. I celebrated myself with you, Jake.” She laid her hand over his. “And I want to be in the same bed with you every night, too. I feel as if we’re on a journey together, a new one, but I’m not afraid like I was before.”
“Our love has pulled us out of our
soul-deep loneliness, Lily. First, we had friendship, and then it morphed and became love. I have good friends here in the valley who mean everything to me and have helped me not only to survive but to thrive. I guess in a sense, they’re my new team, my new family, and we can allow our wounded hearts to open once more and love them in return. I know I’m always going to love you.”
She sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes with her other hand. “Jake, you’ve helped me discover a new home. A place where I feel safe enough to endure what’s changed in me, that I can deal with it and still have a life—with you.”
“We’ve found another way home, Lily. Through and with each other.”
August 25
Lily tried to still her excitement. Today, everyone was coming over to choose their puppy from Sage’s brood. At six weeks old, the pups were lively, curious, rambunctious, loving any attention they could get from her and Jake. She had sent photos of the five pups to everyone. And, amazingly, each family chose a different one. There had been no tug-of-war between two families wanting the same Border collie.
Maud and Steve were the first to arrive. They knocked on the screen door, and Maud gave Lily a huge plate of cookies wrapped in aluminum foil.
“For everyone.” She laughed.
Jake came forward and shook Steve’s hand and said, “Come on in. The pups are out in the backyard with their mom. Let’s go this way.”
Lily placed the cookie platter on the table. She watched with joy as they followed Jake down the hall to the back door. Athena was with them, of course, but she didn’t have a little ribbon collar on her with a name tag.
Taking down mugs for coffee or ice tea, she made sure there was plenty for the arriving guests.
Another knock.
Turning, she saw Shay and Reese standing and grinning at the screen door.
“Hey, great to see you,” Lily said, opening it.
“I brought a Boston cream pie for everyone,” Shay said, handing it to her.
Reese reached over, giving Lily a warm hug. “Looks like everyone is going to bring dessert.”
Laughing, Lily set the cake on the table and gestured to them. “Maud and Steve are out back with Jake. Go find your puppy!”
Pixie and Charlie were next. She gave Lily a huge amount of chocolate brownies filled with walnuts and slathered with a chocolate-marshmallow frosting. It was heartwarming to see how excited they were to get their puppy, and Lily had to fight back tears of happiness as she led them down the hall.
Roan and Shiloh came within minutes of her getting back into the house. Shiloh handed her a sponge cake with pink frosting. Thanking them, Lily hugged them, seeing the excitement in their eyes. Everyone needed a dog, for sure.
The last to arrive were Garret and Kira Fleming. Kira had made several loaves of fresh banana bread. They, too, were so excited.
At the backdoor, Lily saw everyone down on their knees, a puppy in their arms, smiling, laughing and talking with the others. Athena was playing excitedly, running from one group to another. Sage remained by Jake, slowly wagging her tail, her blue eyes shining. It was a happy day for everyone.
“Hey,” Lily called, gesturing for all of them to come in. “We’ve got dessert coming out of our ears, coffee and ice tea. Let’s leave the dogs outside and you all come in and sit down.”
Like a well-timed dance, everyone rose, gently set their charges in the grass and walked toward the backdoor. In no time, Lily, Shay and Kira served from the kitchen. Pixie came and took the plates, passing them around to the happy troop sitting around in the living room. The noise and laughter were ongoing, and Lily had never felt happier than then. Each pup would be dearly loved and well taken care of.
After making sure everyone had a beverage, she joined Jake, who sat at one end of the couch. He gave her a tender look as she settled next to him, her plate of sliced banana bread in her hand, along with a fork.
“I just love our puppy!” Shay bubbled. “He’s so pretty! He has one blue eye and one brown eye.”
“Maybe we should call him Spot?” Reese teased her, grinning.
The crowd erupted in laughter.
Shay frowned. “No, something more ... well, special.”
“We love our puppy!” Pixie crowed. “She’s just wonderful! And she’s so colorful! We’ve been so lonely without Muster. We’re so indebted to you and Jake for letting us have one of Sage’s babies.”
“They’re all going to great homes,” Lily said. “We know they’ll be the best cared for and most loved dogs in Wyoming.”
Lots of heads bobbled up and down in agreement.
“I just love ours,” Kira gushed. “He’s got the most beautiful brown-gold eyes and he’s so smart.”
“He’ll make a good herd dog for us,” Garret said. “I’m planning on taking him with me when we’re out fixing fences.”
Roan chuckled. “Makes two of us, for sure. We like that our pup is already glued to us. He seemed to know we were going to be a team. He’ll learn how to herd buffalo and cattle.”
Shiloh glowed. “I want him as a house dog, too, Roan.”
“Oh, he can stay in the house. He’ll just be with me during the day, is all.”
“Good,” Shiloh said with a happy smile.
“They make great watchdogs,” Jake told the gathering. “Sage knows everyone who comes and goes from here. She barks when there’s a truck coming in and is able to tell if it’s me or a stranger. We often have wranglers driving up here to see me and she’s at the front door, barking a warning. She knows the sound of my truck versus how other vehicles sound. That’s pretty impressive.”
“We had a Border collie when we first got married,” Maud said, giving Steve a loving look. “It’s so nice to have another one to fill our lives.”
“Yes, and I think we’ll have to figure out where he stays. Will he want to be in my architecture office or your ranch office? Or will he figure it out and divide his time between both?”
Laughing, Maud said between bites of cookie, “Listen, that pup will have a mind of his own. We’ll let him decide where and when he wants to visit us.”
“Wise words,” Steve agreed.
“Does anyone have a name for their puppy yet?” Lily wondered. “Jake’s mom fell in love with the only pup that was white and gold and named her Butterscotch. We’ll be driving her over to Jenna pretty soon.”
Roan whispered a name to his wife. Shiloh smiled. “Oh, I like that name!”
“What is it?” Lily asked, just as excited as Shiloh was.
“Ranger,” she said. “He’s a very confident little puppy. He seems fearless. I like the name Ranger,” she told her husband.
“I was thinking more along the lines that the pup would be on the range, chasing and herding,” Roan said, giving his wife a kiss on her hair.
“Being a wordsmith,” Shiloh said pertly, “ranger means a dog that can bring law and order to those cattle and buffalo. You know? Like a Texas Ranger?”
Everyone clapped and agreed.
Shiloh’s cheeks reddened. Roan nodded, pleased with her explanation.
“I know when not to step into a writer’s territory with words,” Roan deadpanned.
Laughter followed; Shiloh was a New York Times bestselling author.
“Anyone else think of a name for their pup?” Lily prodded, smiling.
“I need some time just to watch our little girl,” Pixie said. “Muster got his name because when he was a pup, he always knew when food was being served at the table. Charlie, here, said the pup could muster not at the sound of a bugle in the old days of the cavalry, but when the smell of food was in the air. He mustered himself to our table! And of course, to the kitchen when I was baking. It was his favorite spot.”
The crowd crowed and nodded.
“I need time, too,” Shay admitted, giving Reese a look. He nodded.
“And you, Maud and Steve?” Lily asked.
“We’re going to need time, too,” Maud agreed.
“We could always call him Split, as in split between going to one office or another?” Steve baited good-naturedly.
“Oh, pooh!” Maud chastised him. “He needs a wonderful name. Not split.”
“Banana split?” Jake wondered.
Everyone howled.
“No,” Maud intoned with her well-known firmness, “not that either.”
“Well,” Lily said, “when you know the name, let us know? I’m sure everyone would love to know what each puppy ends up with.”
There was finally agreement among all parties.
Jake helped Lily take all the empty plates back to the kitchen. Pixie came up and grabbed the ice tea and Roan picked up the coffeepot. Pretty soon, everyone was relaxed and chatting among themselves, catching up on everyday events in their lives.
“Everyone,” Jake called, “can I have your attention? There’s something else to celebrate today, and we’re glad you’re here to be a part of it.”
Lily gave him a questioning look. What on earth was he talking about? Because Jake looked like a man with a secret he was about to spring on everyone.
Chapter Nineteen
Jake stood up, looking around the circle of friends he’d known since returning home. All vets, except for Pixie, of course. But she acted like a vet, always helping others without any expectation of a thank-you. He gave Lily a look and saw a question in her eyes. Managing a nervous smile, he said, “You’re all family to me. And we’ve gone a long, hard road with one another. Over the past year or so, I’ve seen so many of you find a military vet partner and it’s made your life so much better.”
He cleared his throat, giving Lily a tender glance. “My life just got better when Lily walked into this cabin. I wasn’t expecting to ever be lucky like the rest of you, to find love.” His voice fell with emotion. “But I have. With her,” and he touched her shoulder. “I thought today would be a good time to ask Lily if she’d marry me when she’s good and ready . . .” and he gave her a loving look.
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