Princess

by Nicolette Andrews

  I did not respond and picked up my pace. Who doesn’t have some important matter or another?

  “I have a message from your brother!” he shouted. His words seemed to echo off the ceiling and ring inside my head.

  I spun around to face the man and gave him a second look. He was young, with brown hair kept long and tied back at the base of his neck. He was well dressed, in brocade and silk. Around his neck was a silver chain.

  “My brother is dead; he has been for five years. What message could you possibly have kept for that long?” I said with contempt. I do not know how you learned my weakness, but I would have you thrown from the tower if it were within my power to do so for pinning me with my own vulnerability.

  “We met during the battle for Blackthorn. We stayed in touch through letters until he died. Goddess keep him.” He made a warding sign as he said this. “I have been away from court, kept away, in truth. Many of your brother’s friends were exiled or executed after the coup. I have only recently managed to get into the new king’s graces. I have been named ambassador to Biski. A bit of a joke, really, seeing as there is no real country to contend with.”

  “What is your name?”

  “Me? I am Lord Herrondell, at your service, Your Highness.” He bowed. It was a quick bending of his waist, no theatrics or groveling.

  I looked him over, trying to decide whether or not to trust him. The best thing to do would be not to trust him at all. “What do you want from me?”

  “It’s not what I want from you, dear Princess, but what I can do for you. Before your brother died, he set aside some insurance for you.” He withdrew the chain from around his neck and handed me the necklace.

  The pendant at the end was an encircled silver tree. I took it; the metal was warm from him wearing it. I rubbed my finger against the warm metal where it had touched his flesh. I knew this symbol; it was one my brother had worn often. “This is the Order of the Oak’s sigil. This is banned in Danhad. If I were found with this, I could be killed for treason.”

  “That is if you remained at court, which you are not.”

  “You’re correct; I leave in a few days for Reglabal. I will still be surrounded by Danhad soldiers and those loyal to King Layton.”

  He smiled, and something in his expression set me ill at ease. “You do not understand my meaning, Your Highness. Your brother never intended for you to marry some savage. He had a fund set aside that was meant for you so you could live a life of your choosing.”

  My chest constricted. I wanted to believe that Adair would do that. He loved me, but why had this never been announced before. Who had hidden this from me?

  “Why come to me now? Why not write to me and inform me of this money?”

  “Because all your correspondences are read, and I dared not expose you. You must have noticed how closely the king guards you. He knows what you mean to those who supported your brother.”

  He did not say anything I had not already suspected, but I hesitated. “It’s too late. I am set to marry Mathias of the Stone Clan. The contracts have all but been signed.”

  “They cannot wed you to him if you are not present. We have made arrangements to help you escape from this fate. Your party will be stopping in a town along the southern coast. We have arranged for a ship to pick you up from there and take you to Jerauch, where we have allies waiting. You can start over, leave all of this behind.” He made a sweeping gesture.

  It was my one wish come true, but it seemed too good to be true. “I will consider it,” I replied.

  “That is all I ask, Your Highness,” He bowed and left me alone with the necklace and a thousand questions buzzing in my head.

  Chapter 5

  When the day came that I was to leave the palace, I felt an odd welling of emotion in my chest. I had only ever known Keisan, the city by the sea. There were so many memories here: my brother walking with me in the garden, Aunt Idella scolding me for being too loud or too crude, Celia cross-stitching, the methodical pull and tug of the thread as she hummed while she worked. The tunnels I would miss most of all; they had been my solace and my sanctuary. That was the one place I did not have to worry about the judgmental stares and the expectations I failed to meet. I’ll never be able to come back here.

  The actual wedding was to be held in Reglabal. It was the name the Biski had given the land that King Layton had gifted them at the end of the war. It was officially part of the Nanore province along the Danhad and Biski territories’ border. The Stone Clan had sent ahead their own envoy to see us safely to the settlement. King Layton was also sending his diplomats to witness my marriage. He would not attend. He claimed my marriage was important to Danhad but not enough so that he must attend. Aunt Idella joined as my chaperon; Celia was coming and would continue in her duties as my lady-in-waiting. My personal guards were coming, a half dozen of them. Among them was Celia’s beau, Owen. I was happy for her that she would keep some comfort from home. Though Celia did not seem upset about leaving Keisan behind.

  We prepared to leave a few days after the Biski envoy’s arrival. As we had when they arrived, the court gathered in the courtyard for a pompous ceremony. King Layton spoke to the crowd and recounted the importance of the match between Mathias and me. The crowd cheered and chanted Layton’s name. I may have had my doubts about Layton’s claim to the throne, but the truth remained, the people loved him. If I had not known what he did to get there, I would probably feel the same. He had always been kind to me.

  After the speech, King Layton and his wife, Queen Raene, both said their goodbyes to me. The queen was a petite woman with black hair and pale skin; she had large brown eyes that reminded me of a deer. She held my hands lightly as she gave me a kiss on each cheek. “May the Goddess guide your steps,” she said in her low sweet voice.

  I stood before King Layton next. He held my shoulders for a moment, staring at me. “Thank you for what you are doing for our kingdom. I know you do not understand it now, but I hope in time you will.”

  For once I bit my tongue and did not say something bitter in reply. I suffered his embrace, and then I was turned for the gathered crowd to see. Aunt Idella led me to the Biski, who had mounted and were prepared to ride. The young man from before stared at me as I climbed into the saddle. I tossed my head and looked away from him. I heard him chuckle.

  “What is so funny?” I asked him.

  He smiled at me. “Your people, they love ceremony more than my own. I did not think that was possible.” He had the barest trace of an accent, and his voice was deep, much deeper than I would have imagined. When he looked directly at me, I felt a prickle against my skin. His eyes were a rich brown like earth after the rain. There was something there too, a depth that needed to be explored, a hidden humor that sparkled in his eyes. I looked away from him; I was starting to sound like Celia.

  I dug my heels into my horse and cantered forward. My guards were already astride, and they chased after me. I heard his laughter chasing after me as I rode across the courtyard; I would not get far. Layton had increased my guard since the marriage announcement. He feared I would flee, with good reason because that’s what I planned to do. I just didn’t know how yet.

  Outside the city, Celia caught up with me. The young Biski man had pulled in front of us some time after we left the city. I was circled on all sides by Biski and Danhadine soldiers alike. Escape was unlikely. I toyed with the chain that held the locket Lord Herrondell had given me. He was at the back of the column, riding with a few Danhadine diplomats who were accompanying us to Reglabal. He had not so much as made eye contact with me since he had given me the locket. I had considered his offer, and a part of me wanted to take the escape. It was the answer to all of my prayers, but at the same time I knew nothing about this man other than claims that he knew my brother.

  I looked forward to the Biski. The young man was laughing, his head thrown back. How much more do I know about Mathias? What if he is cruel? What if he beats me? That is a similar sort of uncert
ainty.

  “He’s rather handsome,” Celia said, nodding her head towards the young man.

  I scoffed. “I wouldn’t go so far as to call him that.”

  “You’ve been watching him since we left the palace. Are you sure you don’t think he’s a little bit handsome?” she teased.

  I knew she meant it only in jest, but somehow it set my blood boiling. “It doesn’t matter what I think. My life has been chosen for me, hasn’t it?”

  Celia sputtered an apology, but I cut her off. “Don’t worry; I was wrong to say that,” I said. Then to change the subject, I added. “Owen keeps stealing glances at you.” He hadn’t, but it was enough to keep her preoccupied.

  She flushed and giggled. I was relieved to have a change of subject, but when I looked up, I could see the young man was watching me again. He waited so I could catch up with him, and when I reached him, he guided his horse to fall in step with me. Celia removed herself, giving us unwanted privacy. Her eyes danced with mischief. Normally I would have cursed her for it. But if Mathias was the jealous type, perhaps he would end the engagement if he found out I had been flirting with his men. It was a thin hope, but I had few other options left.

  “You may not think it matters, but I thought I should introduce myself. My name is Mat.” He held out his hand to shake in the Danhadine fashion.

  I took his hand grudgingly. “Edalene.”

  “I know.” He flashed me a smile.

  It was a charming smile. For the first time I felt a flicker of something, but I squashed it down. Now was the worst time to start taking interest in a man, no matter how handsome his smiles.

  “Well, if you have nothing else of import to say?” I kicked my heels into the ribs of my horse and rode away from him. I broke away from the line of soldiers and headed for the shore. My guards would follow me, I was certain, but I thought a break was wanted. We hadn’t been riding long, but they could not continue on without me either.

  I dropped out of the saddle, tied Shadow to a nearby tree and went down to the shore. The sand was warm against my toes. The scent of salt and the thunder of the ocean were familiar and welcome. I shucked off my shoes and went to dip my toes in the water one last time. The waves lapped upon the shore and over my ankles. It was biting cold, but it felt so good. I felt alive for the first time in a long time. I would stay here forever if I could. I tilted my head back and enjoyed the sun on my skin. I could be a fisherman, live off the sea, and trade with the locals. I imagined myself manning a ship, hauling in nets, my hands callused and raw. It sounded like heaven. No gossip, no expectation, no forced marriages. Just me, the sun and the sea. I closed my eyes to indulge in my fantasy.

  “You certainly know how to make an exit,” a deep voice said from behind me.

  I spun around, water splashing on the hem of my gown as I did so. Mat stood at the edge of the shore, where the grass met the sand.

  “And you certainly do not know when a conversation has ended,” I retorted.

  He slipped out of his shoes and came to wiggle his toes in the sand alongside me. I glanced sidelong at him. Surely someone had sent him to bring me back. He saw me staring and grinned. I dropped my gaze, which I never did. Why does he confuse me so? I stared at his feet for a moment. Something about seeing his bare feet felt oddly intimate. I had never been alone with a man who was not family before, and Mat seemed like the sort Aunt Idella had warned me of when I had my first bleeding. I bet he’s tricked plenty of women into his bed, with his charming smile and handsome face. If I gave him my virtue, would that be enough to end the engagement? The very thought brought a hot flush to my face. I knew what men and women did alone together, but I had never desired it for myself.

  I pulled my gaze away from his toes in the sand. “Are you going to say something?” I snapped just to ease the tension.

  He laughed, but I didn’t think he was laughing at me this time. He wasn’t trying to make me go back, yet. I knew I shouldn’t pay him any attention, but he had piqued my interest.

  “Why did you follow me out here?” I asked.

  He was watching the waves rolling in and out crested with white foam, sparkling in the light of the rising sun. “I wanted to look at the ocean again. I had never seen the sea before we came here. It is massive. It seems to go on forever.”

  I looked across the water, in the distance. The sun was high in the sky, and the sky was a vibrant blue. A few white clouds were streaked across the sky, as if a painter had just brushed them onto a canvas. I was awed by it, as well; the sea had its own enormous beauty that was hard to explain in words.

  “It’s like a mother holding her children in her arms. The sea is the source of life, our mother and our lover,” I said at last.

  He tilted his head to regard me. “That’s beautiful.”

  I felt a flush creep up my neck. When he looked at me, I felt as if my stomach was tied up in knots. No one had ever had that effect on me before. At first I thought it was because he was handsome, but that wasn’t quite right. I think it was because he didn’t look at me as an oddity, the product of rape and the princess who could never get anything right. He looks at me as a man does a woman. He may be lusting after me, but at least he’s seeing a part of me that no one ever looked at before. The realization only made me want to guard myself.

  I crossed my arms over my chest as if to lock him out. “Do you often approach maidens when they are unsupervised?”

  “Only the pretty ones,” he replied.

  I forced a laugh to hide my embarrassment. I need to leave here before I do something foolish. “I was right about you from the moment I saw you.” I turned to walk away, mostly so he wouldn’t see my face.

  He jogged to keep up with me as I walked down the shore. “What was your first assessment of me, then?”

  I smiled at him. “That you are an incorrigible flirt.”

  “I wouldn’t call it flirting; I would call it more of a healthy respect for women.”

  I raised a brow in question towards him. “I wouldn’t think your people knew how to respect woman, since you gather wives like livestock.”

  His expression melted from a cheeky smile to a deep creased frown. I realized too late I had said the wrong thing. “You don’t know anything about me or my people. How could you assume to know how we treat our women?”

  “I—”

  He shook his head. “You might want to learn more about my people if you intend to marry Mathias,” he said, and with that he turned and stalked away.

  I stared after his retreating form, feeling like an utter fool. I shook myself. What did it matter? I had realized something; if I was willing to sleep with a man I hardly knew to end my engagement, then perhaps I was brave enough to trust a man I just met. When we arrived at the port, I was going to run away.

  Chapter 6

  “Celia, please, I am suffocating. I cannot stand another moment. Just give me one afternoon, just a little bit of time to breathe,” I begged Celia, on my knees holding onto her hand. She wasn’t looking at me, but I could tell from the little wobble of her chin and the way she looked at the ceiling of our inn room I was going to win this argument. “Just tell them it’s my moon-blood, the cramps are keeping me from traveling any farther today.”

  She sighed and I could taste victory. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid,” she said, pleading with me in turn with her brown eyes. She could pass for Neaux with her olive skin and brown eyes. She had a chance at finding a place in the world. Not me. My half-breed status was branded on my forehead as bright as my blue eyes.

  “I swear I will do nothing reckless.” That you will find out about until I am long gone.

  The corners of her lips turned up in a small smile. I hugged her, and she gasped with surprise. I had sealed the deal. We stripped down to our underclothes. Hidden beneath my shift, I had a bag of coins tied around my waist and at my ankle a dagger. It had been Adair’s. I had stolen it just after he died and kept it as a memento. I wanted it on hand in cas
e I needed to use it. If Lord Herrondell betrayed me, I was willing to fight. She handed me her gown. It was brown with a simple design of roses along the bodice. And I handed her my own, which was gray and inlaid with beads and a panel of silk on the front. Celia helped me undo the complicated hairdo I wore. I then braided my hair in a straight cord down my back, just like the way Celia wore hers. I hastily pinned her hair up, the best I could. I had no skill at these things. Anyone who saw Celia would know she was not me. When Aunt Idella returned, she was bound to be cross. I’ll be long gone by then. I put my cowl onto Celia’s head, finishing the illusion.

  We were in a town just a few hundred leagues south of Keisan. Tomorrow we would be heading west and away from the coast. This was my last chance at escape. I had reservations at first, but I could not live bound to another man. Let Layton expand his kingdom some other way; I was not willing to sacrifice my happiness for him.

  Once I was in Celia’s clothes, I felt like I could breathe. The reality of my decision settled upon me like a weight. I will never see Celia again, or Aunt Idella. There were so many times I resented them both, but now that I knew our time together was coming to an end, I just felt sad. I hugged Celia one more time, holding onto her. She slowly put her arms around me and returned the embrace.

  “You’re being awfully affectionate today. Is there something you’re not telling me?” Celia asked.

  I pulled away and gave her a grin. “I just appreciate you taking this risk for me. If Aunt Idella finds you here instead of me, she’ll be very upset. You’re always taking risks for me.”

  Celia only shook her head. “I’m your friend, silly; of course I would do this for you. You do the same for me when I sneak out to see Owen.”

  I sucked in air. The nature of our relationship had always been implied but never spoken aloud. I had secretly felt that Celia, as my lady-in-waiting, felt obligated to do as she was told; it was what she was paid to do. But knowing she cared for me genuinely, it made it harder to leave and let her take the fall for me. I squeezed her hand, tempted for a moment to ask her to run away with me. It was a fleeting thought. She would never agree, and we would only be caught if she did.