Imagine Us

by Jaxson Kidman

“Okay,” I said, always appreciative of Lacy’s bitchiness.

  “Seriously though, I hope you know what you’re doing,” she said. “And let me know soon.”

  Before I could answer, the call ended.

  I did a quick calculation of the commission from those three condos, and it was a nice chunk of money I had just lost out on. All for a book that wasn’t published or even written yet. All so I could be in Adam’s house, hiding in the woods next to the lake, living this version of reality.

  I sighed and took my phone to go back upstairs to my laptop.

  I liked this version of reality.

  The one where I was happy.

  The one where I was in love.

  I just hoped it matched what Adam wanted too.

  21

  The Real Story

  ADAM

  (then)

  Everyone knew about The Butter Kiss Diner. It was the perfect dump to grab a quick bite at, either coming or going from the lake. Half the time we were able to just dine and dash out of there and still go back without anyone saying a word. The first few times it was fun, but then I started to wonder if the owners let us do that on purpose. Brad never gave a damn and kept going. Jocks like Chad and his crew would take things another step by trashing the place before leaving.

  And even still, nothing happened.

  I was over eating at the diner. I was over stealing the food. I was over the lake.

  Truthfully, I was over everything.

  It was the last couple of weeks of summer and then we were going into our senior year of high school. That meant only one more grueling year of bullshit and then we were free. Free to do whatever we wanted.

  I woke up sweating and rolled to my side to find my old window air conditioner not working.

  “Fuck,” I groaned.

  It was only ten in the morning. That was like waking up at four in the morning in my world.

  I got out of bed and punched the air conditioner a few times, figuring the piece of junk must have finally decided to call it a life. At a really crappy time too. I needed the a/c for at least another month and a half.

  With no luck, I left my room to take a piss. When I flicked on the bathroom light, there was no bathroom light. I flipped the switch up and down six times. I sprang from the bathroom and took the steps two at a time.

  Nothing was working.

  The apartment had no power.

  Wearing nothing but baggy jeans and boxers that kept everyone from seeing my bare ass, I left the apartment and walked down the back steps that seemed older than the building, which was damn impossible, but the way they swayed when you walked down them, it felt like it.

  Downstairs was Miss Cramsten. I rarely talked to her and she was convinced I would break into her apartment and steal her ibuprofen and cheese slices. Just those two things though. I had never been in her apartment and had no intentions of ever being in it either.

  I quickly knocked at her door, already forming my own opinion of what was happening in my apartment.

  The door opened a crack. One of Miss Cramsten’s bloodshot, beady eyes stared at me. “What do you want?”

  “I’m sorry to bother you,” I said. “I was wondering if you had power.”

  “Power? Of course I have power. Don’t you break in here now.”

  I showed my hands. “I’m not breaking in. Can you open your door and show me you have power?”

  “I’m calling the police.”

  “Please don’t do that. Watch…” I backed up and kept my hands up. “I just want to see if you have power.”

  “Little punk,” she said as she opened the door.

  My eyes saw a ceiling fan with lights. Both were functioning. There was the sound of applause from her television too.

  She had power.

  I didn’t.

  “Maybe you should pay your bills and stop stealing from others,” she said.

  Miss Cramsten shut the door.

  I went back to my apartment and tore through the messy bills on the kitchen table.

  That’s when I found the shutoff notice for the electric bill.

  My mother hadn’t paid it in a long time.

  The apartment was warm, getting hotter by the second. And I was so pissed off, it only made me hotter.

  I thought about calling my mother, but I knew that would get me nowhere.

  So, I grabbed a bag and packed up some clothes.

  I took a cold shower that woke me up.

  And I called Brad.

  I told him he’d better have some stuff for me.

  * * *

  “Come on, man, it’s all good,” Brad said as the tires of his shitty car crunched on the rocks of a back road.

  I had no desire to be back up at the lake. I thought this stuff was over for the season. Hell, if anything, I would have waited until the fall to come relax in the cool weather and the crunchy leaves.

  But, of course, Chad had made nice with Brad to make Brad feel special and cool. So that meant Chad was up here with his baseball buddies and needed someone to bring the fun. All Brad wanted was to have his senior year in high school be basically nothing but a party. He wanted to be the go-to guy for all the parties. To get high. To get laid.

  It wasn’t a bad plan at all, but he lived in the basement of his parents’ house. He wasn’t rich by any means, but he wasn’t poor either. His parents worked opposite shifts and only had the appearance of a family in pictures and nothing else.

  I had smoked myself into relaxation over what happened at the apartment. My mind was desperate to figure out a plan to get the money needed to get the electric turned back on. My mother could just stay with her current guy friend. But I had nowhere to go. Brad’s parents hated me. They thought I was scummy and poor. But little did they know what their son was doing.

  My only other choice was to sleep in Elena’s basement.

  “Just cut loose a little, man,” Brad said. “We’ll have some fun tonight. It’ll be the last night of summer.”

  “Yeah, right,” I said.

  “Hey, at least your girl will be here,” he said.

  “What did you say?” I asked.

  I turned my head and grabbed Brad’s arm.

  “What?” he asked. “I’m fucking with you.”

  “Don’t say that shit.”

  “Say what? You and Elena have been friends forever. She’s with Chad. You’re with… Janelle?”

  “Fuck off,” I growled.

  Brad parked his car and all I could do was search for Elena.

  I saw the jocks doing their thing. Setting up tents. Already drinking.

  Some of the girls were lingering around, but there was no sign of Elena.

  I stood there with my bag over my shoulder, wondering what the hell I was actually doing there.

  My bag was then ripped from my arm.

  I turned, pissed off, and saw Elena standing there.

  Her hair down. Her green eyes so bright. A tank top that left my eyes struggling to keep my eyes on hers. A smile that could fix the world.

  She stole my breath for a second.

  “You’re here,” she said.

  “Yeah,” I managed to say.

  “I’m glad. I really don’t want to be here.”

  “Neither do I,” I said. “I’m done with this stuff.”

  “Me too. Ready to run away together?”

  Oh, you have no fucking idea, sugar…

  I smiled. “If I told you about my day, you’d know I’m ready.”

  “Bad day?”

  “Woke up with no power in the apartment.”

  “Oh, no, what happened?”

  “My mother never paid the bill. For months.”

  “Adam… no.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “No big deal. I’ll work it out.”

  Elena sighed. “You can stay at my house. I’m sure if I tell my mother beforehand, it’ll be okay.”

  “Thanks. I’d rather just run away at this point.”

  “Yo, E
lena! Let’s move!” Chad’s voice bellowed.

  He then started to whistle.

  Elena rolled her eyes.

  She touched my arm. “Maybe later we can sneak away for a walk or something.”

  I nodded.

  And just like that… my shit day became great.

  * * *

  Chad took a deep drag and passed the joint to his left. “We busted that fucking sign up like crazy.”

  His stories were always bullshit.

  He would live through other people and nobody blinked an eye.

  “I don’t remember that,” Elena said.

  She had been sipping on some rum.

  She was feeling pretty good.

  As for me, my best friend had become beer. When the high ran out from Brad’s stuff on the ride up to the lake, I started to drink. It was a little weird for me not to be smoking, but for whatever reason it felt like wherever I went, Elena was there waiting for me.

  “You weren’t around,” Chad said. “You were probably writing your feelings in a journal.”

  Chad laughed, and his goons did the same.

  “Asshole,” Elena said.

  She grabbed my beer can and threw it at Chad.

  Beer splattered as he punched the can.

  “What the fuck, Elena?” he growled. “You’re crazy.”

  “You’re a liar,” she said.

  “Why would I lie about that?” he asked. “I took rocks and busted up the sign, so it said Butt Kiss Diner.”

  “Oh, man, I remember that,” Davison said. He waved a hand and then offered his fist for Chad to bump. “That was fucking legendary.”

  “Told you,” Chad said.

  “Whatever,” Elena said.

  She got to her feet and walked away.

  I wanted to jump up and chase after her, but I couldn’t make it obvious. Last thing I needed was for her and Chad to get into an even bigger argument.

  “Fuck her,” Chad said. “Give me that smoke. Let’s go down to the water.”

  The group broke up.

  I slowly got to my feet and walked toward the tents.

  I wanted to check on Elena.

  As I crept toward the tents, knowing exactly which one was the one that Elena and Chad shared, I heard a pssst sound next to me.

  When I looked, it took me a few seconds to realize it was Elena near the edge of the woods.

  “Come here,” she said.

  I found her with the same bottle of rum she had been sipping out of all night.

  “Let’s run away together,” she said. “Right now.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Come on, Adam. Let’s go.”

  She slipped her hand into mine and pulled.

  I looked over my shoulder and saw Chad standing at the edge of the lake. And my eyes saw clear as day as Janelle stood next to him, holding his arm. Her head against his shoulder. His hand at the small of her back.

  Anger swirled inside me.

  “Okay, sugar, let’s go…”

  * * *

  Our fingers weren’t interlocked, so to me it wasn’t really a romantic hand holding thing. Plus, we were near the edge of the woods and it was dark. We had a clear sky above us. A little bit of moonlight. Stars everywhere. That was one cool thing about the lake. There were more stars in the sky than I had ever seen before. It was like looking at a different night sky.

  “So, your mother really didn’t pay the electric bill?” Elena asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “It’s my fault. I should have known.”

  “Why is that your fault? You’re not an adult.”

  “Close enough,” I said. “I cover the other bills when I have to.”

  “It’s not right.”

  I laughed. “I know that.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Elena said. “It’s so fucking stupid.”

  “That’s why we have each other,” I said. “You get it. You go through a lot with your mother.”

  “Yeah. She almost got fired. Did I tell you that?”

  “No. What happened.”

  “She got caught with pot in her bag at work,” she said. “After all that time going to school to get a real nursing degree… I mean… how stupid can you be?”

  Elena took a breath.

  I broke my hand from hers and put my arm around her. “Come here. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not going to cry over her. Or anyone else.”

  “Anyone else?” I asked.

  Elena stopped walking and clutched my shirt. We faced each other. There wasn’t a soul around. Anything could happen, and it would forever be our secret.

  “Do you think Chad loves me?”

  The question was like a jagged knife to my heart.

  “I…”

  “Shit, I can’t ask you that,” she said. She stepped back and touched her hair. “I just don’t know who he is anymore. And I keep thinking something is going on with someone else.”

  “You mean him cheating?” I asked.

  “Yeah. But we’re young. It’s high school.”

  “Screw that,” I said. “It’s your heart, Elena.”

  “But how am I any better?” she asked.

  She gasped and covered her mouth.

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” she said.

  “Hey…”

  “Nothing,” she said and stepped back some more.

  She bumped into a tree and turned, letting out a yell. Then she stumbled to the right and was about to fall. I hurried to catch her and keep her on her feet.

  She looked up at me, taking deep breaths. “I dropped the bottle of rum.”

  I laughed. “What?”

  “What a waste.”

  “Oh, sugar…”

  She started to laugh. She reached for my face and touched me.

  I reminded myself that she was drunk. And she was with Chad.

  This was not going to happen. Not like this. Not with her heart all messed up. Not with me being pissed off at the world.

  “So much for running away, huh?” Elena asked.

  “Yeah. So much. But we can still have a little fun.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  I took her hand and walked just a little bit more.

  That’s when the Butter Kiss Diner came into view. The soft glow of the lights. The place was closed. It was always closed. They were only open for breakfast and lunch. But the lights came on at night.

  “Right there,” I said.

  “Right where?” Elena asked.

  “I’m going to give you a real story.”

  I broke away from her and she called my name.

  I grabbed a handful of rocks and crossed the dark road. My mind, my heart, my soul, they were all twisted together in a vicious storm. Thinking about my mother. Thinking about the apartment. Thinking about the lake. Thinking about… everything. I was madly in love with Elena, but I didn’t want to mess up her senior year or mess up her life.

  I was a scummy loser, just like Brad’s parents thought.

  I started to throw the rocks, knowing what I wanted.

  When a rock busted up one of the t’s, I silently cheered. I kept going until I had the sign the way I wanted it. The sound of the rocks hitting the diner when I missed the mark was a loud thud. Then when I hit the lights, the glass popped and shattered.

  It glowed Butt Kiss Diner.

  “Adam!” Elena yelled for me.

  That’s when a light turned on inside the diner.

  “Oh, shit,” I whispered.

  I turned and ran across the road and grabbed Elena’s hand, so we could get into the woods.

  I stopped us and pulled her to the ground.

  On our knees, my arm around her waist and I held her tight against me. She hugged me, the top of her head touching my chin. I smelled her shampoo. I felt what the smell did to my body.

  She breathed heavily, the rum on her breath filling the air.

  I watched as someone opened the front door of the diner.
>
  The figure stepped out, turned, and looked up.

  That’s when the guilt hit me.

  What the hell had I just done?

  Whatever. Screw that place.

  “You’re crazy,” Elena whispered.

  I looked at her and grinned. “Yeah, well, at least I made the story true.”

  “You definitely did,” she said.

  When the person went back into the diner, I helped Elena to her feet.

  We walked together, hand in hand through the woods, back to the party.

  At the last second, I stopped and pulled at her hand.

  “Hey,” I whispered.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Thanks for running away with me,” I said.

  Elena laughed. “Anytime, Adam. Anytime.”

  I let her go.

  My heart ached.

  I leaned against a tree.

  A thought came to me as I watched her walk to Chad and he put his arm around her and pulled her in for a kiss.

  Elena was never going to be mine.

  I put my head back and looked to the stars.

  And a few tears may have fallen from my eyes.

  22

  Messy Floors and Hearts

  ADAM

  (now)

  I wanted her every night. The mornings I woke up to an empty bed were the mornings I hated the most. Even if almost every single day I’d come home, she’d be upstairs, the clicks of the keyboard a welcoming sound to me after a busy day at the diner.

  The mornings I was alone, I’d down a cup of coffee, take two pills with regret, and then leave as quickly as possible. Imagining a life without Elena in it now wasn’t one I wanted.

  “Here, take this,” Judy said to me as she handed me a cup of coffee.

  I stood near the kitchen door, my eyes glued to the front of the diner as though I were lost in thought.

  “What’s this for?” I asked.

  “You’re tired today. You’re not yourself.”

  “He’s got a girlfriend now,” Shannon said, carrying a stack of dirty plates. “He’s all sorts of distracted.”

  “Wow, you two just go for the throat,” I said.

  “Hey, I offered you coffee,” Judy said. “I didn’t say a word.”

  “But it’s on your mind,” I said.

  “Sure,” Judy said. “Our little Adam is growing up.”

  Shannon snorted.

  “I’m older than you, Shannon,” I said. “What are you laughing at?”