Slay and Rescue

by John Moore

  “So,” said Aurora, looking straight ahead. “What’s with you and this Charming fellow?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you like him, right?”

  “Of course not!” said Ann. She blushed. She could feel herself blushing, which embarrassed her and caused her face to redden even more. “I don’t like him. I mean, of course I like him, but I don’t like him.”

  “Sure,” said Aurora. “What’s there to like? Just because he’s handsome, smart, brave, famous, and rich is no reason to fall for a boy. I don’t know what you could see in him.”

  “I’ll thank you not to put words in my mouth. And he’s not so much.”

  “So you don’t have the hots for him?”

  “I’ve never had the hots for anyone,” said Ann with dignity. “That’s not something that happens to nice girls. Prince Charming and I were simply thrown together for the duration of this quest by some rather special circumstances.”

  “I see,” said Aurora, and lapsed into silence.

  There was something about the tone of that “I see,” that Ann didn’t like. But Aurora would not be drawn into further conversation. After a while Ann drew her horse away. She kept, however, a suspicious watch on Aurora from the corner of her eyes.

  Her suspicion was justified for the wheels were turning in the little blonde’s head and strange numbers were turning up. Her conclusions, once organized, went something like this.

  I am totally without resources, she thought, until I regain the Kingdom of Alacia, which now rightfully belongs to me.

  The King of Illyria has annexed my land and, historically, kings don’t give up territory without a fight, regardless of the validity of their claim to it.

  The prospect of an adolescent unwed mother raising an army to defeat a powerful king is so small as to be ludicrous.

  However…

  Aurora looked at the Prince speculatively. Perhaps there was another path of opportunity open to her.

  Wendell pulled his horse over next to Charming’s. “Princess Aurora sure is pretty, right?”

  “Yeah,” said the Prince. “Nice tits.”

  “Aha! I knew it! I knew you couldn’t make it all the way back to the castle without saying something about her breasts. I’m surprised you managed to hold off until now.”

  “Sheer will power.”

  “Yeah, right. Well, you wanted to meet a bad girl and now you’ve got one. I’ll bet you’re happy.”

  “Hey, whoa! Aurora is a nice girl, Wendell.”

  “But she’s pregnant.”

  “Right. That means she’s a mother and all mothers are saints. Even unwed ones, and they are always treated with deference and respect, except by other women. That’s just the way it is.”

  “You just said she had nice tits. That’s not respectful.”

  “Hmmm, you’re right.” The Prince looked around. “She wasn’t listening, was she?”

  Mandelbaum, who had been silent for several hours, dropped his horse back and joined the group. “Your Highness, it occurs to me we had perhaps best slow our pace. At this rate, we will reach the castle well before nightfall.”

  “Is that a problem?”

  “Well, your Highness, with all respect, you have not considered the ramifications incurred by riding into the city with a pregnant companion.”

  “Hey! That’s not my doing.”

  “Yes, yes, of course not, but you must think about your image. You ride off and disappear for a month and then suddenly you ride back into town with a beautiful young woman who’s just about a month pregnant. Well, certainly there will be at least the appearance of impropriety.”

  “Oh, come on. You were around right from the first time I even heard about Aurora. And I had Ann and Wendell with me the whole time.”

  “Prince Charming, I am not trying to be difficult, I am simply trying to advise you of the situation as I see it. It is not I who needs to be convinced of the purity of your intent, it is your constituency. And I am afraid that they will not consider a page and a sixteen-year-old girl to be adequate chaperones.”

  “How about you?”

  “Wizards are generally regarded with suspicion even in the best of circumstances. Our deeds may be admired or feared, but our oaths command little respect. A chaperone, in order to command credibility, must be a middle-aged couple or a porcine adult woman.”

  “This is crazy. I’ve rescued beautiful babes all over the twenty kingdoms and escorted them home. And I’ve never laid a hand on them.”

  “They wouldn’t let you,” said Wendell.

  “Those babes, as you call them, did not arrive home pregnant. The popular curiosity well understands the laws of cause and effect. When they see the effect on young Aurora, they will naturally look for a cause. I fear the gossipmongers will decide a living Prince makes a much better scandal than one who has been dead for twenty years.”

  Charming thought this over. “I think you’re underestimating the people, Mandelbaum. They’re not that simple-minded. But even granted that your fears are valid, wouldn’t it still be better to ride boldly in broad daylight, like we have nothing to hide, which we don’t, then to skulk in at night like a bunch of, uh, things that skulk?”

  “I would prefer that we gamble on the possibility of scandal than confront the certainty of it.”

  “It won’t make a difference either way,” said Wendell. “All the maids in the castle and the servants and the guards and the soldiers will talk about it anyway.”

  “That’s right,” said the Prince. “I really don’t think Dad’s going to hide her away in a locked tower. We’ll just have to brazen it out.”

  “Brazen what out?” said Ann. She and Aurora had ridden up beside them for this last exchange. This left five horse riding abreast on a trail meant for three at the most, so Mandelbaum and Wendell had to drop back. Their horses snorted impatiently.

  The Prince explained. “We were trying to decide whether to sneak Aurora into the castle under the cloak of darkness or just ride forth in broad daylight. Do you think people will really know if you’re pregnant? You don’t look pregnant.”

  “Women can always tell these things,” said Ann.

  Princess Aurora tossed her hair back proudly. “I am the Princess of Alacia,” she stated with dignity. “Regardless of what transgressions I may have to answer for, I am still the Princess of Alacia, and I will not go skulking about like some sort of sneak thief.”

  “Okay, that decides it,” said Charming. “We’ll just have to walk tall.”

  “Wait,” said Ann, “Here’s an idea. Why don’t we just pretend she’s a widow?”

  “What?” said the Prince. Aurora looked at Ann quizzically. “Oh, come on,” said Ann. “The idea must have occurred to you, too. Look, nobody really knows what happened back there. It was twenty years ago, for goodness sakes. And the castle’s a smoking ruin. If we say the spell didn’t kick in until a few hours after the wedding, leaving plenty of time for the eager newlyweds to head upstairs and consummate their marriage, well, who’s going to say different?”

  “It’ll never fly,” said Aurora, but her voice left no doubt she was mulling over the idea.

  “Sure, why not?” said Charming. “It’s believable. I know the first thing I’ll want to do after I get married is to… ” Both girls looked at him. “… check to see if my wife is okay,” he finished lamely.

  “I don’t like this,” objected Wendell. “If something like this came out, it would make the Prince look really bad. Why should he risk his reputation to save that a girl’s?”

  “It’s my job to save girls, reputations and all. Besides,” he took Wendell aside, “if I have to choose between protecting my own honor and protecting the honor of a lady; then the honorable thing to do is to sacrifice my own honor to defend the lady’s honor, even if she has dishonored herself already. You see?”

  Wendell shook his head.

  “Well, take my word for it. Okay, so we don’t need a marriage
certificate because that would have been burned up in the fire. And all the people who were there are dead, except Aurora. Yes, we ought to be able to slip you a ring, coordinate our stories, and just bluff this one out.”

  Aurora was brightening up. “Do you really think this will work?”

  “I know some dwarves who can get us a pretty good deal on a rock,” said Ann. “But it will still have to be set.”

  “There, you see,” said Wendell. “Where are you going to get a ring? A ring for a princess has got to be something pretty special. You’ll have to have it made up by a jeweler. So that’s one more person in on the secret.”

  “What happened to your engagement ring?” asked Ann.

  “In the strong box at the castle. I wonder if it survived the fire.”

  “Wait a minute,” said the Prince. “We don’t need an engagement ring. Those are the ones with the big diamonds. We need a wedding ring. We’ll just get a plain gold band from the royal jeweler. He’s got plenty and any sort of story will satisfy him.”

  Mandelbaum, who had been silent through all this, now coughed discreetly. “Your Highness, may I have a word with you?”

  “Sure thing.” The Prince and Mandelbaum rode off a little ways from the group. Mandelbaum drew on his pipe, exhaled, and contemplated the cloud of smoke as it drifted away. Charming waited patiently.

  “Your Highness, it disturbs me to see a young man who has been well schooled in the practice of honesty and virtue agree so readily to this subterfuge. While I have oft noted your unwholesome proclivities toward the fairer sex, I am still surprised that you should let a pretty face turn your head this easily.” Charming started to say something, but Mandelbaum held up his hand. “However, that’s neither here nor there. What concerns me now is my own role in this deception. As a member of the royal court, and one who accepts the King’s coin, my first loyalty is to your father. May I ask if you intend to lie to him also? And if so, do you expect me to withhold information from him?”

  “Gee, Mandelbaum, you’re awfully straitlaced all of a sudden. Must be all that military support work you’ve been doing. I always thought you were more easygoing.”

  Mandelbaum said, “Hummph.” Then he said, “That is not an answer.”

  “Mandelbaum, I’m just trying to protect the girl from being hassled. So I lie a little. I’m not committing high treason here. Besides, you were talking before about me protecting my own reputation. This gets me off the hook, also.”

  “I simply suggested that we ride in at night to minimize public attention. Presenting an elaborate charade to the court is not what I had in mind.”

  “Oh, first you tell me the public is not going to accept the truth and then you advise me to stick to it. What do you want me to do? Dress her in sackcloth and ashes and drag her through the streets?”

  “There is a convent within a day’s ride that would provide her with adequate food and shelter, as well as the opportunity to serve penance for her moral turpitude.”

  “Moral turpitude! Now you are getting totally unreasonable. There is no way I’m sending Aurora to a nunnery and she wouldn’t go along with it if I tried. Come on, Mandelbaum. She’s just a girl who made a mistake.”

  “How do you know she made a mistake? Have you discussed this with her?”

  “Well, no. You can’t talk about those things to a girl.”

  “Exactly. So there’s no telling what sort of lustful behaviors she’s been practicing. And you shouldn’t let Ann get too friendly with her, either. You have a responsibility to prevent her from being influenced by bad companions.”

  “I’m not going to continue this absurd line of discussion any longer. All right, Mandelbaum, I’ll make you a proposition. As soon as we get back, I’ll arrange for Aurora to have an audience with Dad. We’ll let him decide what we’re going to do with her. Until then, you play along with us. How’s that?”

  “Well…”

  “Come on, Mandelbaum. Think of the little kid. Do you want him to grow up under a mantle of stigma? It’s not his fault.”

  “Oh, very well. But if his Highness asks me anything, I am telling him the truth.”

  “You’ve got a deal.” Charming wheeled his horse around and went back to join the others. “Okay, ladies, the game is on. Aurora, from now on you’re a widow.”

  “We should really stop, then, and get her some black clothes,” said Ann.

  “I should have known,” said the Prince. “No matter what you choose to do, girls will somehow work shopping into it.”

  “The clothes don’t matter,” said Aurora. “I just want to start rebuilding my life. Prince Charming, I can’t thank you enough for all you’re doing for me.”

  She looked up at him with eyes that were suddenly soft and devoted, putting her hand on his arm. She kept it there. Ann instantly decided she didn’t like that gesture one bit.

  “YOU SURE HAVE A NICE PLACE,” said Ann, looking over the gleaming floors and woodwork, the glow of the brass doorknobs in the lamplight.

  “Oh yes,” said Charming. “These are the walls, that’s the ceiling. Boy, this place has everything.”

  It was late evening when they arrived at the castle. As planned, much of the staff had already retired, and the kitchen was closed. Still, there were servants enough to prepare rooms for Ann and Aurora; Wendell, of course, saw to the horses and baggage. There was a bustle of activity as the group of travelers and servants separated and Prince Charming, returning to his own quarters, found himself walking down a deserted hallway with the raven-haired Princess.

  “Did you find your room comfortable?” he asked.

  “Oh, yes,” said Ann. “Yes, it was fine. Yes. Very comfortable. Luxurious even. Yes, it was very nice. Yes.”

  “Well, that’s good. I am glad you like your room. I mean, all the rooms here are pretty nice, but, you know, if you prefer another room, then you can have one. Or you can just stay where you are. Whatever you want.”

  “No, it’s fine. Really.”

  “Well, good.”

  They continued to walk together. Charming thought his bootsteps on the wooden floors sounded unnaturally loud.

  “So,” said Ann. “You live here, right?” It well ranked as one of the stupider questions ever asked and she realized it.

  “Uh, right,” said Charming, feeling like an idiot for not coming up with anything more clever to say. It was with some relief that he reached the door to his room.

  “Well, here I am,” he said, his hand on the knob. “Guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Yes,” said Ann. “Well, pleasant dreams.”

  “You too,” said the Prince. “I’d invite you in, but, of course it wouldn’t look right, having a girl in my room.”

  “Oh no,” said Ann. “That night at the inn was an exceptional case. No, I couldn’t possibly enter a man’s bedroom alone.”

  “No,” said the Prince. He pushed open the door and she followed him in. “No, there would be all sorts of a row raised.”

  “Right,” said Ann. “Even though we aren’t doing anything, of course.”

  “Right.”

  They stood in the center of Charming’s bedchamber, about three feet apart, not meeting each other’s eyes. The Prince made an awkward gesture with his hand. “I guess it’s okay as long as we leave the door open.”

  “Good idea. We don’t want anyone to see us together like this, but after all, we don’t want to be together where no one can see us.”

  “That’s just what I was thinking,” said the Prince, kicking the door closed with his foot. Ann made no move to stop him. They stood apart in silence for a few minutes more.

  “Nice room,” said Ann.

  “Yeah, I like it. There’s a little balcony over there where you can step out and look at the stars.”

  “Oh, how nice. Do you look at the stars very often?”

  “No, never. But if I want to, there’s the balcony.”

  More silence.

  “Well, I guess
I better be going back to my room now,” said Ann. “I don’t even know why I came in.” She took a step toward the Prince.

  “Yeah, it’s probably best if you don’t stay any longer,” said the Prince. He took a step toward Ann. His arm found its way around her waist and he pulled her close. Her breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes and turned her face up to his.

  There came a knock at the door. “Oh,” said Ann and jumped a foot backward. The Prince broke away and stuck his hands in his pockets. The knock sounded again.

  Charming flirted briefly with the idea of pretending he wasn’t home and then said, “Come in.”

  The door opened and Aurora entered. “Oh,” she said when she saw Ann. “What are you doing here?”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I just came in to say good night to Prince Charming.”

  “Why, that’s all that I came to do,” said Aurora. She walked over to Charming and put her arm through his. She was wearing a nightdress she had gotten from somewhere and Charming could not help noticing the top two buttons were undone. Ann noticed this also and not with pleasure.

  Aurora said, “My room is very pleasant, Prince Charming. You have a lovely castle.”

  “Uh, thanks.”

  “That’s a silly thing to say to him,” said Ann. “He didn’t decorate it.”

  Aurora said sweetly. “I’m sure he didn’t tailor his own clothes either, but I may still tell him he looks very handsome in them.”

  “Um, thanks again,” said the Prince. He glanced from Ann to Aurora with a vague feeling that storm clouds were gathering. Ann had her lips set in a thin, tight line and was tapping one foot on the floor. Aurora looked like she hadn’t a care in the world, which was rather odd for a girl who only a few hours previously was acting about as depressed as one could get. He said, “Tomorrow I’ll see about getting you an audience with Dad. It may take a day or so, but that’s okay. There’s plenty to do around here, shopping and the theatre and that sort of girl stuff. Oh, and here.” He slapped his pockets and produced a small ring. “I found a gold band for you.” Aurora batted her eyelashes and held out her hand. Charming was about to slip on the ring when he glanced sidelong at Ann and saw a fleeting look of deep gravity cross her face. He hesitated a second and then pushed the ring into Aurora’s palm. “Here you go. Don’t worry about returning it. We have rooms of stuff like this. Soldiers bring them back from the wars. Relics of past conquests and all that.”