Redemption

by CaSandra McLaughlin

  Tania sat in shock. She wasn't expecting Naomi to ask her to be in the wedding and wasn't sure she would be comfortable doing that.

  “Where are you going to get a dress from this late? You can't just throw people in a wedding all willy-nilly,” Mona huffed.

  “The maid of honor dress can be different, the bridal shop has several different designs and I'm sure we can find something.”

  “We don't have time to get it altered, I'm sure they don't just have big sizes hanging on the rack. We're talking about a boutique, not All Sizes R Us, Naomi,” Mona said.

  Tania had had enough. “Mona, I don't know what your problem is with me and why you seem to have a problem with my weight. I have sat here and tried to deal with you in the most respectful way that I know how. I honestly don't know why you have always had issues with me, but I refuse to take any more crap from you.

  “I came to be here for Leslie and Aunt Jean, but seeing you was not on my to-do list. I don't choose to be rude, or ugly to anyone; but you, my dear, seem to have made being rude your job. So could you just do everyone a favor a shut-up talking to me?” Tania said raising her voice loud enough for the people sitting next to them to hear. So much for redemption.

  “Guys, this is not the time or place,” Leslie said, trying to calm Tania down with a pat on the shoulder.

  Naomi said in a lower tone, “Tania, I agree with you. Mona, you have been attacking her ever since she arrived. No wonder she's stayed away for so long. Now Tania, I really want you to consider my offer. You're my sister too and I want you in my wedding. Please say you'll do it.”

  Mona’s slammed her menu on the table and rolled her neck to the side. She glared at Naomi. “I can't believe you. Sitting here begging this girl to be in your wedding. She ain't never cared about nobody but herself. She's selfish, Naomi. She didn't care if you were dead or alive and here you are welcoming her like she was away in the war and just came home. You can bow down and cater to her if you want to but I'm not, she ain’t never acted like she was our real sister.” Mona yelled and left the table.

  Tania was furious. She was too mad to even cry. How dare Mona say she wasn't their sister? They had the same mother and it wasn't her fault that she had a different father than Naomi and Mona. Tania's mother, Ruby had an affair and Tania was the result of it. How could Mona blame her for Ruby's actions?

  “Tania, she didn't mean it,” Naomi said.

  “Naomi, don't take up for her. You've spent your whole life trying to make amends for Mona's behavior. She meant it and that's why she has opted to treat me poorly all of our lives. It's no secret that I am not her favorite person. I honestly don't think Mona has ever liked me,” Tania said sadly.

  “Of course she likes you ... she loves you. She's just upset with you for being away for so long,” Leslie offered.

  Tania wished she could tell them everything—especially about how Mona set Tania up to be tricked out of her virginity for a few dollars. But there was no way she could tell the story without feeling ashamed of herself, too, for being so naïve.

  The waitress came over and asked if they were ready to order. Naomi informed her that they would be leaving and for her to just charge them for the drinks.

  “Leslie, I apologize. We can just pick something up at Wendy's. I wanted us to enjoy being together and all it's done is cause a big mess.”

  “Mona just texted me saying that she caught a ride back to the hospital.”

  “It's not your fault, Naomi,” Leslie said.

  Tania, Leslie and Naomi went out to the car and drove to Wendy's and picked up food at the drive thru window. Naomi drove back to the hospital parking lot where they all ate their food.

  “Tania, are you going to be my maid of honor?” Naomi asked.

  “Under the circumstances I don't think I should stay for the wedding.”

  “Please tell me you’re not serious. You can't miss the most important day of my life because of Mona.”

  “I just don't want there to be any more confusion. I don't want your day ruined. I, of course, wouldn't do anything to ruin it, but having the both of us in your wedding isn't a great idea.

  “The fact is: I haven't been in your life and that's probably part of the reason why Mona is so upset. I can't change the past, Naomi, I really should have been there for you, especially since you're my younger sister.”

  “But Tania, I've already forgiven you. Let's just move forward.”

  Leslie added, “If you decline Naomi's offer to be in the wedding you are allowing Mona to bully you around, and control you.”

  “That's right. Besides, what really made her angry was how she stood up for herself. She’s the oldest. She’s used to being the boss of both of us. I will let her know that you are in the wedding no matter what she thinks or how she feels,” Naomi said.

  “Mona isn't your enemy, she's your sister. You guys are long overdue for dealing with issues,” Leslie said.

  “Well go on and break it down for us, Iyanla Vanzant, “ Naomi joked.

  “I'm serious! It's obvious that Mona is hurt, so she's lashing out to hurt Tania instead of embracing her and welcoming her back into her life. I don't know how, but you three have got to find a way to work through this.”

  Tania sat and listened to Naomi and Leslie trying to convince her about being in the wedding. She knew that Mona was being used by the enemy and that they were dealing with a controlling spirit. Tania remembered Paul saying in 2 Corinthians that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God, through the pulling down of strongholds. If she was going to stay and be a part of her sister’s wedding, she would have to do a lot of fasting and praying in order for that spirit to be broken.

  Chapter 12

  Tania informed Leslie and Naomi that she needed to spend some time alone to pray and clear her head. Leslie promised to keep her updated if there were any changes with her mom.

  When she arrived back at the hotel, Tania was still trying to digest everything that had taken place. The one thing that stuck out to her the most was that Mona was angry with her for leaving. Tania couldn't seem to wrap her head around why someone who treated her horribly would care that she’d left Sweet Lily. For all Tania knew, Mona would have been happy to see her go.

  She remembered her last day in Sweet Lily as if it were yesterday.

  On Tania's graduation day there was no celebration. She'd walked proudly across the stage to receive her diploma and went home to an empty house. Mona had come to the graduation but went out to party with her friends and Naomi had to work. Tania had been invited to several parties but didn't attend any of them. Leslie had offered to come over, but Tania wanted to be alone because Mama’s absence came crashing down on her after the ceremony when all the parents were hugging their kids.

  No, Tania didn't feel like having company. She wanted to be alone and drown her sorrows in a root beer float.

  The day after graduation, Mona told her she needed to get a job or she had to get out. Tania had dreams of attending college and living on campus but had no idea how she could make that happen. She didn't have anyone to encourage her to go to college. None of her family members went to college, most of them barely made it out of high school.

  Tania landed a job at Stugen Finance, a loan company owned by her theatre teacher’s brother.

  Mr. Stugen hired Tania and she'd promised him that she would catch on quickly and make him proud. True to her word, Tania worked there for eight months and received a raise. With the raise came the opportunity to relocate to Uhl to run that branch. Tania jumped at the chance to leave Sweet Lily. She purchased a cash car and began to prepare for her move.

  “Tania, I'm so excited for you, girl,” Leslie said on the day of the move.

  “I don't know why you all excited. She'll be back,” Mona said. “Broke as ever.”

  “I'm sure she'll come back to visit, right Tania?” Naomi asked.

  “Yeah, sure I will,” Tania said, knowing that she had no desire
to ever return.

  “She won't make it by herself. She don't know nothing about life. She ain't got nobody helping her, and she don't know what it takes to make it in this world, running around like she all high and mighty. Watch what I tell y’all, she will be back. Just wait and see... while y’all celebrating her, like she done did something special. She only got that job because her teacher felt sorry for her. People been feeling sorry for her all her life, but that's going to get old.” She tisked. “Yep. She'll be back.”

  Tania never responded to Mona.

  She moved out the following day and never looked back.

  The ringing of her cell phone brought her back to her present-day reality.

  First Lady Green’s name appeared on the screen. .”Hello, Tania, how are you?”

  “I'm doing ok,” Tania managed to say.

  “Sabrina called me and told me about your aunt. Is everything ok?”

  “My aunt is still in the hospital. They are working on getting her blood pressure down right now.”

  “Do you need anything?”

  “Just pray for God to heal her.”

  “How are you handling being there with your sister and all?”

  “I'm trying to handle it the best way that I can, but it's difficult.” Tania sighed.

  “You can do all things through Christ that strengthens you and even though it may seem hard, keep in mind that things can get better and will get better with God's help.”

  “I was just sitting here trying to figure out why Mona is so angry with me. She went completely off on me today. I didn’t respond well. I don't know how much of this I can take.”

  “Tania, just keep praying and asking God to bring down that wall between the two of you. If you stay grounded and determined to defeat the enemy, he will flee. Don't give up or give in, just give it to God. You've come a long way and the enemy wants you to throw in the towel. His job is to try to drive a bigger wedge between you and your sister, but serve him notice and give him an eviction, letting him know that he's no longer welcome.”

  “Thanks for calling to check on me and thanks for the pep talk. I truly needed it.”

  “No problem dear, keep us posted on your aunt and feel free to call if you need anything. God bless you, Tania.”

  “God bless you, too. Goodbye.”

  Tania's spirit was lifted after hearing from First Lady Green. The compassion of her church family was one of the many reasons why she loved her congregation. Sabrina calling First Lady to inform her about what was going on was not a surprise to Tania. Their church family was like blood-family and made sure that they looked out for one another.

  Tania called Stacy and filled her in on what was going on. Stacy encouraged her to stay as long as she needed, and told her that she would take care of things at the bookstore.

  With Stacy running the bookstore, Tania had no reason to return home right away. It was time to stop making excuses and deal with her issues. She would do all she could within her power to reconcile. No, she couldn’t make Mona act right, but she could walk in love regardless of Mona’s choices.

  Tania pulled up the Bible app on her phone and searched for scriptures to help encourage her. Tania read Ephesians 1:7 In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace. She also read Colossians 1:14 In whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sin. Both scriptures ministered to her. With Christ's redemption came His forgiveness of all of our sins, past, present and future. He shed his blood and gave His son for us, which was the ultimate sacrifice.

  Tania's heart raced as she thought of how Christ forgave us freely, no cost. He redeemed us by His grace. If God could forgive us freely, she could do the same thing, she could forgive Mona by faith. It wasn't going to be easy. She couldn't do it in the flesh. She needed the help of the Holy Spirit.

  Tania immediately felt convicted about her unforgiveness toward Mona and fell on her knees and prayed aloud.

  “Lord, please forgive me for holding on to this bitterness, anger, and hurt for all of these years. Lord, create in me a clean heart and renew the right spirit within me. Lord, touch my heart, my mind, my soul; Lord, cleanse me and make me free. I don't want this burden anymore, it hurts too bad; it's causing so much pain in my life, Lord. I release it; I release it right now, Lord. I ask that you not only heal me, but heal my sister, Mona, Lord. I don't know what the issue is but I know that you know. I know there is nothing too hard for you to work out. Lord, please heal us, restore us and fill us with the sisterly love that we should have, in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”

  Tania stayed on her knees in worship, calling on the name of Jesus. The atmosphere was shifting and she felt God's presence in her hotel room. She felt God lifting the burden off of her, felt His arms wrapped around her as she wept.

  Two hours later, Leslie sent a text stating that her mother's blood pressure was down and that she woke and eating soup. The day had been far spent, so Tania decided she’d go by the hospital to visit her Aunt Jean tomorrow.

  Leslie sent back a smiley-face emoticon and the words: Tomorrow is probably best. We don't want her pressure to shoot up again at the sight of you! LOL!

  Tania sent an LOL! back.

  She figured she’d better get to Wal-Mart and purchase a few items since she'd planned to be in town until Naomi's wedding. She had only packed a few outfits and needed to get some personal items as well.

  If memory served Tania correctly, Wal-Mart was like the mall to the residents of Sweet Lily. It was the only major store the city had other than Walgreens. Tania found a parking space, and headed for the door. Her goal was to run in, get her items, grab her some dinner and head back to the hotel.

  Tania strolled down the aisle and picked up some mouthwash and spray-on lotion. As she turned the corner, her basket tapped into a gentleman.

  “Oh sir, I'm so sorry,” Tania said.

  “I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose,” he said with a deep raspy Barry White voice.

  Tania stared at him as if she had seen a ghost.

  “You look as if you don't remember me. I'm DeWayne Watkins. We used to be in English class together.”

  “I remember you.” Tania laughed nervously.

  After all these years, he still made her palms sweaty.

  “So what brings you to town?” he asked.

  “How do you know I don't live here?” She smiled.

  “Umm...this is the country and besides, I have asked Mona about you and she informed me that you moved to Dallas after graduation. And last year I sent you information about the reunion to the address she gave me, but it came back.”

  Tania was thrown into confusion. “I don't know why she told you that, but I've never lived in Dallas.”

  “Then why would she give me a fake address?” DeWayne asked with a puzzled look on his face.

  “I have no idea,” Tania sighed even as the answer arrived in her mind: Because she doesn’t want to see me happy.

  Tania's heart started beating like a drum in a drum line as she realized what DeWayne was saying: He'd asked about her. Which meant he’d thought about her. Calm down, she told herself, she didn't want him to see her get too excited.

  “So where are you living now?”

  “I live in Uhl, and I'm in town because my aunt had a heart attack.”

  “I'm so sorry to hear that. How is she doing?”

  “She's doing ok, thank God.” Tania smiled.

  “Hey, isn't that your sister over there?” DeWayne pointed in the direction of Mona who appeared to be giving one of the other employees a hard time.

  “Yeah, that's her,” Tania answered. She hurriedly tried to turn her basket in the opposite direction so that Mona wouldn't see her. She would have been successful if she hadn't knocked over a display of dishwashing liquid. Every bottle came tumbling down.

  Tania was embarrassed and her face beet red.

  “We got a big mess on aisle 5. A big fat mess,
” Mona announced on the store’s intercom.

  Tania wanted to cry, not only had she caused this scene, but Mona made her feel worse.

  Blinking back the tears that were threatening to come, she began to pick up the bottles.

  DeWayne kneeled down to pick up the bottles as well. Their hands touched as they reached for the same bottle. He was looking deep into her eyes

  Tania wanted to savor the moment, but she over his shoulder and saw Mona coming toward them.

  “Do I need to call a fork lift to come help you up?” She cackled.

  Tania lowered her head in disbelief.

  “Mona, that's not funny nor is it called for. As a matter of fact, I'll answer for her. No, she doesn't need a forklift or your help at all. Now if you'll excuse us, we got this,” DeWayne checked her.

  Mona looked as if she had something to say but thought better of it and strutted away.

  DeWayne helped Tania off of the floor.

  “Your sister is a trip. What made her do that?”

  “Who knows?” Tania shrugged her shoulders.

  “Well, don't let her clown you. You are beautiful. You've always been beautiful.”

  “You don't have to say that.” Tania shied away.

  “I know I don't have to say it. I'm saying it because it's true.”

  “I'm glad we ran into each other. I have to go to work. I’m on the late shift but would love to catch up with you. Here's my card. Call me,” DeWayne said. He presented her with the card, then gave her a friendly hug before walking away.

  “Ok sure.” Tania held the card to her heart. She smiled as he disappeared in an a small crowd near the registers.

  Maybe being back in Sweet Lily isn't so bad after all.

  Chapter 13

  Tania finished her shopping at Wal-Mart and headed to her car. Seeing DeWayne brought back memories. Tania would have never thought that he'd be interested in talking to her since she stood him up and every girl at Sweet Lily High wanted him.

  Yet, in his popularity he never acted arrogant, he was respectful to teachers and students, too. Unlike a lot of the popular kids, he didn’t make fun of those who weren’t in the “in crowd”. That was one thing Tania secretly admired about him.