Unlocking the Rebel's Heart

by Alison Roberts

‘Ow...’ Glenys cried out as she tried to turn her head to look at her husband.

  ‘What’s hurting?’ JJ reached through the window to support the woman’s head. ‘Is it your neck?’

  ‘Yes... But only when I move.’

  JJ palpated her neck carefully. ‘Does this hurt? Or this?’

  ‘Ow...yes...that’s really sore.’

  ‘C six/seven,’ JJ told Ben.

  ‘Try and stay very still,’ Ben told her. ‘We’re going to put a collar on you to help look after your neck. Is anything else hurting?’

  ‘My...my arm...’ Glenys groaned again. ‘I can’t move it...’

  She was trying to move her head again to look at her arm this time and JJ wasn’t in a good position to keep it steady. She found herself eyeing up that gap in the side door. She was a lot smaller than Ben.

  ‘Would it be safe?’ she asked quietly. ‘To get inside?’

  ‘Jack seemed to think things are stable,’ Ben responded. ‘It might move a bit with extra weight inside but it’s not going to fall. It’s got steel cables that will prevent that happening.’

  JJ nodded. ‘I’ll see if I can get inside, then. I want to get that neck stabilised. And check on Derek.’

  ‘Wait a bit. Someone will be down to help with that any minute,’ Ben said. ‘I think cutting that door clear and tipping the seat flat back will be the best way to get them out.’

  But with every extra minute that passed, there was a chance that Glenys could try and move her neck again and, if she had a cervical fracture, it could make a huge difference to her outcome. It might even make the difference between life and death. And JJ could see that Ben was still trying to protect her and she didn’t need to be taken care of right now.

  She could do this.

  A month or two ago the very idea of being confident to do something like this would have been a joke but, since then, she had created a new life for herself and she had become a new person along with that. She had a new name, even. Thanks to Cutler’s Creek.

  Thanks to Ben Marshall.

  JJ edged sideways to reach the gap in the door. Because the van was tilted, she had to climb to get a foot through into the space.

  ‘Watch out for sharp metal,’ Ben warned. ‘Take your time.’

  Very slowly, JJ turned sideways and eased herself cautiously through the gap, freezing for a moment at the creak and screech of metal moving slightly against rock. The rope attached to her harness went tight, preventing her going further, so she unclipped it. She could hear Ben on his radio telling Mike what was going on. Then, as she steadied herself against an inbuilt table in the back of the van to move towards the front seats, she could hear the reassurance in Ben’s voice as he spoke to Glenys.

  ‘You’ve broken your arm, love,’ he told her. ‘That’s why it’s so sore. Can you feel me touching your hand here?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘What about here?’

  ‘No... I can’t feel anything except where it hurts.’

  ‘We’re going to give you something for that pain. I just need to put a little needle in your other arm, okay?’

  ‘But...but what about Derek? I can wait...’ Glenys was breathing faster between groans and her level of distress was clearly increasing.

  JJ was right behind the front seats now. She could lean forward to tilt Derek’s head and open his airway. To feel his neck for a carotid pulse. The only thing she could feel, however, was Ben’s intense gaze on her. She met his eyes and gave her head a tiny shake. There was nothing they could do for Derek.

  Confirming such a huge loss for Glenys was not something JJ wanted to add to an already terrifying experience. A flash of memory came and went, leaving just a shadow of how hard it had been for her own grandmother to lose her life partner and how distressing those first shocking moments of realisation had been. She could see an echoing flash of understanding in Ben’s gaze, as if he could read that thought and agreed that the awful news could wait, if possible. If Glenys didn’t ask, either because she wasn’t ready to know herself, or because she was distracted by her own situation?

  ‘Okay, Glenys...’ he said. ‘I’m going to slide this collar around your neck. Stay very still for me, okay?’

  JJ held her head steady as Ben slipped the collar in place. She kept up a constant stream of reassurance for their patient but Glenys was crying now. Staying exactly where she was to hold Glenys’s head still would have been a priority in any normal patient management but there were other things that needed to be done here. Like trying to get some vital signs.

  ‘I’ve got a radial pulse on this side,’ JJ told Ben. It wasn’t possible to use a cuff and get a blood pressure reading but the fact that she could feel the pulse in the wrist meant that it wasn’t low enough to be a concern. ‘Heart rate’s a hundred and four. Respirations twenty-two.’

  ‘I can’t get IV access on this arm,’ Ben told her. ‘Glenys has a displaced fracture of her radius and ulna and a dislocated elbow. Limb baselines absent in her hand so...we need some pain relief on board.’

  JJ heard a lot more to that message. An absence of limb baselines meant that circulation was cut off to that hand and Glenys could lose it completely if the fracture wasn’t realigned and the elbow joint relocated to prevent permanent damage to the brachial artery or nerves. This was an emergency and it would need more than simply pain relief. They were going to need some of the strongest medications they carried, like IV fentanyl and ketamine and midazolam that would pretty much knock Glenys out.

  It also meant that IV access was essential and, if the arm that Ben could reach through the broken window was the injured one, access would have to be gained in the other arm. The one that JJ could reach through the gap in the front seats. Just as she was wondering how to prevent Glenys moving her neck, which could still cause damage even with the collar on, Ben leaned in to pass her a roll of tape.

  ‘I’ll put a dressing on that forehead laceration. Tape over it and round the headrest and that will keep everything still. We’ll have to cut this safety belt but I don’t want to do that until we’re ready to get her out.’ The seat belt was helping to hold Glenys still against the tilt of the van. ‘I’m going to pass you the IV gear so you can get access on your side. You good with that?’

  JJ nodded. She was more than good with that. She was in a space she excelled in now—with an urgent medical task to focus on. And, okay, this was an incredibly awkward space to be doing it in, compared with a nice, safe emergency department but that only made it an even more satisfying challenge to succeed in.

  With a cannula safely in place and fluids running, JJ checked each ampoule that Ben had taped to the syringes he was passing her and, within only minutes, Glenys’s level of distress had eased amazingly and she was sedated deeply enough to not be trying to move. It would still be painful to manipulate her broken arm and dislocated elbow but she wouldn’t remember the procedure.

  The awareness that her husband had probably died in this crash had also been temporarily paused and Glenys seemed to be totally unaware of the increased drama that was happening around her. A helicopter was hovering overhead and two firies were using cutting gear and a crowbar to remove the side door. At times the van was rocking enough to terrify JJ but she got through that by focusing completely on what she and Ben were doing. The awkwardness of this confined space made it very difficult for JJ to provide the counter-traction above the elbow so that Ben could pull the deformed bones and joint of Glenys’s arm back into an alignment that would allow blood flow to resume and reduce ongoing nerve damage. By the time they had the arm splinted enough to keep it aligned, the back door of the van was gone. A paramedic with a stretcher was being winched down to join the rescue effort and the ledge around the crash site was becoming crowded.

  ‘Come out, JJ. We’ve got this.’

  ‘But what about getting some oxygen on? I want to
check her breathing. And we need to have someone with a bag mask available.’

  ‘I’m monitoring her. We can’t get her out with you in there. It’ll be very quick to winch the stretcher up.’

  ‘We’ll take her up to the road first.’ The air rescue paramedic raised his voice to be heard over the sound of the helicopter rotors. ‘We’ll make sure she’s stable before we transport her.’ He was grinning at JJ. ‘See you up there, Doc.’

  There were several sets of hands to help JJ climb out of the van. A rope was clipped to her harness again and someone went with her as she climbed up to road level. She was only halfway up the long ladder as the stretcher carrying Glenys was lifted, with the paramedic holding it steady. The helicopter was so close JJ could feel the beat of the rotors right through to her bones. It was terrifying but exhilarating at the same time. She could understand completely the attraction that working with a team like this had for Ben. Every day would be an adrenaline rush. Every job serious enough to provide the kind of challenges that someone like Ben thrived on.

  And he was certainly at his best right now, working with the air rescue team to make sure they hadn’t missed any other injuries that Glenys had and that she was stable and as comfortable as possible for transport to a major hospital. The flight paramedics clearly knew Ben well and respected his skills and, although JJ had the medical seniority here, there was nothing she would have suggested be done any differently. She was proud of the confidence and competence that Ben was displaying. Still proud that he had referred to her as his ‘partner’ when he’d introduced her to Glenys.

  Was it true that people came into your life for a reason? Standing back to watch what was happening gave JJ a moment to feel incredibly lucky to have met Ben Marshall. Privileged to have been allowed as close as she was to this man, even if it was only for a brief time.

  Because of the level of sedation she was still under, Glenys was going to need careful monitoring.

  ‘Want to come with us, Ben? Follow up on what happens in the ED?’

  He wanted to. Everyone could see just how much he wanted to.

  ‘Go,’ Mike told him. ‘Bruce and I can deal with everything else that needs doing here. We’ll get the driver out and the road open again. There’s plenty of people who can get the ambulance back to town and JJ will be around for any emergencies, isn’t that right, Doc?’

  JJ nodded. Firmly. Ben had given her something amazing by including her in this callout—a confidence in herself and her ability to tackle anything in life that she would never, ever forget. She wanted to give something back.

  Something that she knew could be just as life changing for him—an opportunity to live a dream of his, even if only for a brief time.

  ‘Go,’ she echoed Mike.

  He didn’t need telling again. They were already loading the stretcher into the helicopter down the road and Ben ran to catch up, ducking to keep well clear of the spinning rotors. He turned his head just before the clamshell doors cut off JJ’s view and she saw his ‘thumbs up’ sign. She could almost feel the same thrill he was probably experiencing as the aircraft lifted and then swooped into the gorge to head off towards the city.

  JJ could feel something else, as well. As if a part of her heart was in that helicopter with Ben and something was stretching tighter and tighter until it snapped.

  And, suddenly, she felt very much alone even though she was still amongst a crowd of emergency service responders. It was only then that it really hit her. That she knew it was far more than just a suspicion that she was falling in love with Ben.

  The helicopter was no more than a speck in the far distance now and it would vanish in a blink. That feeling was still there, however, and it wasn’t just a part of her heart that was with Ben, was it? Without even realising it was happening, she seemed to have gifted him far too much of it.

  It was a problem that would have to be dealt with at some point.

  But not yet.

  Please...not just yet.

  CHAPTER TEN

  IF YOU LOOKED through the kitchen window of the small cottage that had become JJ’s home in Cutler’s Creek, you could see a rather overgrown vegetable garden between the house and barn on one side and a patch of grass on the other side, where Shaun the young sheep was creating a perfect circle around the post that anchored his long chain.

  Just under the kitchen window was a rustic garden bench that was in a direct line with a wooden gate beneath an archway in the dense hedge that provided excellent protection for the cottage from any wind. Right now, it was also providing a very picturesque frame for the background of the spectacular mountain range and a sunset that was beginning to make both the sky and any last remaining winter snow on the peaks look as if they had just caught fire.

  ‘How glorious is that?’

  JJ let her breath out in a contented sigh. She was also letting go of a new sense of something poignant that came with being close to Ben. A feeling that time was running out? That she needed to make the most of every single moment?

  ‘And how good is this?’ She took a sip from the glass of white wine she was holding. ‘Zac told me not to even think of doing any work tonight.’

  ‘He told me the same thing.’ Ben held up his bottle of lager in a toast. ‘He’s going to cover any callouts. He said we were local legends after that job last night and the least he could do was give us a proper night off.’

  The lingering glance he gave JJ told her exactly what he thought a ‘proper’ night off should include and it was enough to take a curl of desire in her belly and make it explode into a heat as glorious as the deepening flames in the evening sky. It made it even easier to forget about that disturbing wobble she’d had when she’d seen Ben flying off into the distance yesterday.

  Maybe the tensions of such a dramatic callout had led to her overly emotional reaction. She’d been able to get her head around it later. To remind herself that what they had between them had only ever been meant to be a temporary thing. Something fun. Something to make the most of. If she wanted to make it last just a little longer, she needed to remember that and that delicious curl of desire was more than enough to let her push aside any anxiety about any heartache the future might bring.

  It would only take the tiniest encouragement—like running her tongue along her bottom lip, perhaps—and JJ knew that Ben would sweep her into his arms and carry her off to bed. And that would be heaven but she wanted to savour this moment, too. To stretch it out and revel in a connection with someone that went so much further than something that was only physical. They’d be able to stay friends, wouldn’t they? Even if life pulled them in different directions?

  ‘Local legends, huh?’ JJ smiled. ‘That might explain why so many people were tooting at me and waving when they drove past while I was out for a run with Shaun. Bruce even blipped his siren behind me, which nearly made me jump out of my skin.’

  She had assumed it was just that she was becoming a local curiosity—the woman that went running with her pet lamb—but the idea that she had gained respect for her part in that dramatic cliff rescue yesterday felt...really good. As if her place in this community now had a solid foundation.

  ‘I’m surprised you had the energy to go running. I was so tired I slept for the whole bus trip back from Dunedin.’

  ‘It was more of a jog,’ JJ admitted. ‘Pretty much a walk on the way back. I felt a bit wrecked myself.’

  ‘It was full on, all right.’ It was Ben’s turn to sigh and the sound was so satisfied that JJ knew he was smiling without looking. ‘Possibly the best job ever.’

  ‘Was it your first time in a helicopter?’

  ‘Yep.’ Ben wiped his mouth after taking a swig of his beer. ‘Won’t be the last, though, that’s for sure. It was way better than anything I’d imagined. And I even got invited to go into Theatre and watch the surgery.’

  ‘Zac told me. He sa
id that Glenys did have a cervical fracture and it was a good thing we’d immobilised her neck early on.’

  ‘The neurosurgeons did a posterior joint fusion with screws. Orthopaedics sorted her arm fracture and the elbow dislocation. She was in Theatre for hours. I had time to visit her this morning, though, before I got the bus back and she was doing well. She made me promise to say thank you for your help. Not that she remembered very much.’

  ‘She must be devastated, knowing that the crash killed her husband.’

  ‘Yes and no.’ For a long moment Ben tilted his head back to look up at the sky where the colours were getting even more intense. JJ was caught by the poignant lines of his profile. And that the movement had exposed that soft, vulnerable skin just below his jawline. If she touched it with her fingers, or her lips, she would feel his pulse beating against her own skin. She was on the point of moving to do just that when Ben cleared his throat and spoke again.

  ‘She said that she was going to miss him more than anyone could imagine but she was glad it had happened the way it did.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘They both knew he had a bad heart and they’d wanted to make the most of whatever time they had left. A road trip around the South Island had been a dream of his for a very long time. It was a sudden death and he wouldn’t have known anything about it, and he died living his dream. Glenys said she couldn’t have wished for a better way for him to go.’

  He was silent for another, long moment. ‘Are we living our dreams, JJ?’ he asked softly.

  It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Ben what she was really thinking. That this was a dream for her. She was living in the most beautiful place she’d ever known. She had a job that allowed her to not only use all her skills but provided the challenge of learning many more. She was close enough to feel the warmth of a man she could very easily fall totally in love with if she let herself and she knew that, very soon, he would be taking her into his arms and stirring a passion that she just knew she would never find again in her lifetime.