Green Fancy

by George Barr McCutcheon

  CHAPTER XII

  THE FIRST WAYFARER ACCEPTS AN INVITATION, AND MR. DILLINGFORD BELABOURSA PROXY

  Barnes insisted that the first thing to be considered was the releaseof Miss Cameron. He held forth at some length on the urgency ofimmediate action.

  "If we can't think of any other way to get her out of this devilishpredicament, Sprouse, I shall apply to Washington for help."

  "And be laughed at, my friend," said the secret agent. "In the firstplace, you couldn't give a substantial reason for governmentinvestigation; in the second place the government wouldn't act until ithad looked very thoroughly into the case; in the third place, it wouldbe too late by the time the government felt satisfied to act, and inthe fourth place, it is not a matter for the government to meddle in atall."

  "Well, something has to be done at once," said Barnes doggedly. "I gaveher my promise. She is depending on me. If you could have seen thelight that leaped into her glorious eyes when I--"

  "Yes, I know. I've heard she is quite a pretty girl. You needn't--"

  "Quite a pretty girl!" exclaimed Barnes. "Why, she is the loveliestthing that God ever created. She has the face of--"

  "I am beginning to understand O'Dowd's interest in her, Mr. Barnes.Your enthusiasm conveys a great deal to me. Apparently you are notalone in your ecstasies."

  "You mean that he is--er--What the dickens do you mean?"

  "He has probably fallen in love with her with as little difficulty asyou have experienced, Mr. Barnes, and almost as expeditiously. He hasseen a little more of her than you, but--"

  "Don't talk nonsense. I'm not in love with her."

  "Can you speak with equal authority for Mr. O'Dowd? He is a verysusceptible Irishman, I am told. Sweethearts in a great manyports,--and still going strong, as we say of the illustrious JohnnyWalker. From all that I have heard of her amazing beauty, I can't blamehim for losing his heart to her. I only hope he loses his head as well."

  "I don't believe he will get much encouragement from her, Mr. Sprouse,"said Barnes stiffly.

  "If she is as clever as I think she is, she will encourage himtremendously. I would if I were in her place."

  "Umph!" was Barnes's only retort to that.

  "Is it possible that you have never had the pleasure of beingtransformed into a perfect ass by the magic of a perfect woman, Mr.Barnes? You've missed a great deal. It happened to me once, and camenear to upsetting the destinies of two great nations. Mr. O'Dowd isonly human. He isn't immune."

  "I catch the point, Mr. Sprouse," said Barnes, rather gloomily. He didnot like to think of the methods that might have to be employed in thesubjugation of Mr. O'Dowd. "There is a rather important question I'dlike to ask. Is she even remotely eligible to her country's throne?"

  "Remotely, yes," said Sprouse without hesitation.

  Barnes waited, but nothing further was volunteered.

  "So remotely that she could marry a chap like O'Dowd without givingmuch thought to future complications?" he ventured.

  "She'd be just as safe in marrying O'Dowd as she would be in marryingyou," was Sprouse's unsatisfactory response. The man's brow waswrinkled in thought. "See here, Mr. Barnes, I am planning a visit toGreen Fancy to-night. How would you like to accompany me?"

  "I'd like nothing better," said Barnes, with enthusiasm.

  "Ever been shot at?"

  "No."

  "Well, you are likely to experience the novelty if you go with me.Better think it over."

  "Don't worry about me. I'll go."

  "Will you agree to obey instructions? I can't have you muddling thingsup, you know."

  Barnes thought for a moment. "Of course, if the opportunity offers forme to communicate with Miss Cameron, I don't see how I--"

  Sprouse cut him off sharply. He made it quite plain to the would-becavalier that it was not a sentimental enterprise they were toundertake, and that he would have to govern himself accordingly.

  "The grounds are carefully guarded," said Barnes, after they haddiscussed the project for some time. "Miss Cameron is constantly underthe watchful eye of one or more of the crowd."

  "I know. I passed a couple of them last night," said Sprouse calmly."By the way, don't you think it would be very polite of you to invitethe Green Fancy party over here to have an old-fashioned country dinnerwith you to-night?"

  "Good Lord! What are you talking about? They wouldn't dream ofaccepting. Besides, I thought you wanted me to go with you."

  "You could offer them diversion in the shape of a theatricalentertainment. Your friends, the Thespians, would be only too happy todisport themselves in return for all your--"

  "It would be useless, Mr. Sprouse. They will not come."

  "I am perfectly aware of that, but it won't do any harm to ask them,will it?"

  Barnes chuckled. "I see. Establishing myself as an innocent bystander,eh?"

  "Get O'Dowd on the telephone and ask him if they can come," saidSprouse. "Incidentally, you might test his love for Miss Cameron whileyou are about it."

  "How?" demanded Barnes.

  "By asking him to call her to the telephone. Would you be sure torecognise her voice?"

  "I'd know it in Babel," said the other with some fervour.

  "Well, if she comes to the 'phone and speaks to you without restraint,we may be reasonably certain of two things: that O'Dowd is friendly andthat he is able to fix it so that she can talk to you without beingoverheard or suspected by the others. It's worth trying, in any event."

  "But there is Jones to consider. The telephone is in his office. Whatwill he think--"

  "Jones is all right," said Sprouse briefly. "Come along. You can callup from my room." He grinned slyly. "Such a thing as tapping the wire,you know."

  Sprouse had installed a telephone in his room, carrying a wire upstairsfrom an attachment made in the cellar of the Tavern. He closed the doorto his little room on the top floor.

  "With the landlord's approval," he explained, pointing to theinstrument, "but unknown to the telephone company, you may be sure.Call him up about half-past ten. O'Dowd may be up at this unholy hour,but not she. Now, I must be off to discuss literature with Mrs. JimConley. I've been working on her for two weeks. The hardest part of myjob is to keep her from subscribing for a set of Dickens. She has beenon the point of signing the contract at least a half dozen times, andI've been fearfully hard put to head her off. Conley's house is not farfrom Green Fancy. Savvy?"

  Barnes, left to his own devices, wandered from tap-room to porch, fromporch to forge, from forge to tap-room, his brain far more active thanhis legs, his heart as heavy as lead and as light as air by turns. Morethan once he felt like resorting to a well-known expedient to determinewhether he was awake or dreaming. Could all this be real?

  The sky was overcast. A cold, damp wind blew out of the north. Therewas a feel of rain in the air, an ugly greyness in the road thatstretched its sharply defined course through the green fields thatstole timorously up to the barren forest and stopped short, as ifafraid to venture farther.

  The ring of the hammer on the anvil lent cheer to the otherwise harshand unlovely mood that had fallen upon Nature over night. It sang asong of defiance that even the mournful chant of sheep on the distantslopes failed to subdue. The crowing of a belated and no doubtmortified rooster, the barking of faraway dogs, the sighing ofjourneying winds, the lugubrious whistle of Mr. ClarenceDillingford,--all of these added something to the dreariness of themorning.

  Mr. Dillingford was engaged in lustily beating a rug suspended on aclothes line in the area back of the stables. His tune was punctuatedby stifled lapses followed almost immediately by dull, flat whacks uponthe carpet. From the end of the porch he was visible to the abstractedBarnes.

  "Hi!" he shouted, brandishing his flail at the New Yorker. "Want a job?"

  Barnes looked at his watch. He still had an hour and a half to waitbefore he could call up O'Dowd. He strolled across the lot and joinedthe perspiring comedian.

  "You seem to have a personal grud
ge against that carpet," he said,moving back a few yards as Dillingford laid on so manfully that thedust arose in clouds.

  "Every time I land I say: 'Take that, darn you!' And it pleases me toimagine that with every crack Mr. Putnam Jones lets out a mighty'Ouch!' Now listen! Didn't that sound a little like an ouch?" Mr.Dillingford rubbed a spot clean on the handle of the flail and pressedhis lips to it. "Good dog!" he murmured tenderly. "Bite him! (Whack!)Now, bite him again! (Whack!) Once more! (Whack!) Good dog! Now, go liedown awhile and rest." He tossed the flail to the ground and, moppinghis brow, turned to Barnes. "If you want a real treat, go into thecellar and take a look at Bacon. He is churning for butter. Got agingham apron on and thinks he's disguised. He can't cuss because oldMiss Tilly is reading the first act of a play she wrote for JuliaMarlowe seven or eight years ago. Oh, it's a great life!"

  Barnes sat down on the edge of a watering-trough and began filling hispipe.

  "You are not obliged to do this sort of work, Dillingford," he said."It would give me pleasure to stake--"

  "Nix," said Mr. Dillingford cheerily. "Some other time I may need helpmore than I do now. I'm getting three square meals and plenty of freshair to sleep in at present, and work doesn't hurt me physically. ItDOES hurt my pride, but that's soon mended. Have you seen the old manthis morning?"

  "Rushcroft? No."

  "Well, we're to be on our way next week, completely reorganised,rejuvenated and resplendent. Fixed it all up last night. Tommy Gray wasdown here with two weeks' salary as chauffeur and a little extra hepicked up playing poker in the garage with the rubes. Thirty-sevendollars in real money. He has decided to buy a quarter interest in thecompany and act as manager. Everything looks rosy. You are to have ahalf interest and the old man the remaining quarter. He telegraphedlast night for four top-notch people to join us at Crowndale on Tuesdaythe twenty-third. We open that night in 'The Duke's Revenge,' our bestpiece. It's the only play we've got that provides me with a part inwhich I have a chance to show what I can really do. As soon as I getthrough spanking this carpet I'll run upstairs and get a lot ofclippings to show you how big a hit I've made in the part. In one townI got better notices than the star himself, and seldom did I--"

  "Where is Crowndale?" interrupted Barnes, a slight frown appearing onhis brow. He had a distinct feeling that there was handwriting on thewall and that it was put there purposely for him to read.

  "About five hours' walk from Hornville," said Dillingford, grinning."Twenty-five cents by train. We merely resume a tour interrupted by theserious illness of Mr. Rushcroft. Rather than impose upon our audiencesby inflicting them with an understudy, the popular star temporarilyabandons his tour. We ought to sell out in Crowndale, top to bottom."

  The amazing optimism of Mr. Dillingford had its effect on Barnes.Somehow the day grew brighter, the skies less drear, a subtle warmthcrept into the air.

  "You may count on me, Dillingford, to put up my half interest in theshow. I will have a fling at it a couple of weeks anyhow. If it doesn'tpan out in that time,--well, we can always close, can't we?"

  "We certainly can," said the other, with conviction. "It wouldn'tsurprise me in the least, however, to see you clean up a very tidy bitof money, Mr. Barnes. Our season ordinarily closes toward the end ofJune, but the chances are we'll stay out all summer if things go right.Congratulations! Glad to see you in the profession." He shook handswith the new partner. "Keep your seat! Don't move. I'll shift a littleso's the wind won't blow the dust in your eyes." He obligingly did soand fell upon the carpet with renewed vigour.

  Barnes was restless. He chatted with the rug-beater for a few minutesand then sauntered away. Miss Thackeray was starting off for a walk ashe came around to the front of the Tavern. She wore a rather shabbytailor-suit of blue serge, several seasons out of fashion, and a blacksailor hat. Her smile was bright and friendly as she turned in responseto his call. As he drew near he discovered that her lips were a vivid,startling red, her eyes elaborately made up, and her cheeks the colourof bismuth. She was returning to form, thought he, in some dismay.

  "Where away?" he inquired.

  "Seeking solitude," she replied. "I've got to learn a new part in anold play." She flourished the script airily. "I have just accepted anengagement as leading lady."

  "Splendid! I am delighted. With John Drew, I hope."

  "Nothing like that," she said loftily. Then her wide mouth spread intoa good-natured grin, revealing the even rows of teeth that were herparticular charm. "I am going out with the great Lyndon Rushcroft."

  "Good! As one of the proprietors, I am glad to see you onour--er--programme, Miss Thackeray."

  "Programme is good," she mused. "I've been on a whole lot of programmesduring my brief career. What I want to get on some time, if possible,is a pay-roll. Wait! Don't say it! I was only trying to be funny; Ididn't know how it would sound or I wouldn't have said anything sostupid. You've done more than enough for us, Mr. Barnes. Don't letyourself in for anything more. This thing will turn out like all therest of our efforts. We'll collapse again with a loud report, but we'reused to it and you're not."

  "But I'm only letting myself in for a couple of hundred," he protested."I can stand that much of a loss without squirming."

  "You know your own business," she said shortly, almost ungraciously."I'm only giving you a little advice."

  "Advice is something I always ignore," he said, smiling. "Experience ismy teacher."

  "Advice is cheaper than experience, and a whole lot easier to forget,"she said. "My grandfather advised my father to stay in the hardwarebusiness out in Indiana. That was thirty years ago. And here we areto-day," she concluded, with a wide sweep of her hand that took in theforlorn landscape. She said more in that expressive gesture than themost accomplished orator could have put into words in a week.

  "But there is always a to-morrow, you know."

  "There may be a to-morrow for me, but there are nothing but yesterdaysleft for dad. All of his to-morrows will be just like his yesterdays.They will be just as empty of success, just as full of failure. There'sno use mincing matters. We never have had a chance to go broke for thesimple reason that we've never been anything else. He has been starringfor fifteen years, hitting the tanks from one end of the country to theother. And for just that length of time he has been mooning. There's alot of difference between starring and mooning."

  "He may go down somewhat regularly, Miss Thackeray, but he always comesup again. That's what I admire in him. He will not stay down."

  Her eyes brightened. "He is rather a brick, isn't he?"

  "Rather! And so are you, if I may say so. You have stuck to him throughall--"

  "Nothing bricky about me," she scoffed. "I am doing it because I can't,for the life of me, get rid of the notion that I can act. God knows Ican't, and so does father, and the critics, and every one in theprofession, but I think I can,--so what does it all amount to? Now,that will be enough about me. As for you, Mr. Barnes, if you have madeup your mind to be foolish, far be it from me to head you off. You willdrop considerably more than a couple of hundred, let me tell you,and--but, as I said before, that is your business. I must be off now.It's a long part and I'm slow study. So long,--and thanks!"

  He sat down on the Tavern steps and watched her as she swung off downthe road. To his utter amazement, when she reached a point severalhundred yards below the Tavern, she left the highway and, gathering upher skirts, climbed over the fence into the narrow meadow-land thatformed a frontage at the bottom of the Curtis estate. A few minuteslater she disappeared among the trees at the base of the mountain,going in the direction of Green Fancy. He had followed her with hisgaze all the way across that narrow strip of pasture. When she came tothe edge of the forest, she stopped and looked back at the Tavern.Seeing him still on the steps, she waved her hand at him. Then she wasgone.

  "Where ignorance is bliss," he muttered to himself, and then looked athis watch. Ten minutes later he was in Sprouse's room, calling forGreen Fancy over an extension wire that had cos
t the company nothingand yielded nothing in return. After some delay, O'Dowd's mellow voicesang out:

  "Hello! How are you this morning?"

  "Grievously lonesome," replied Barnes, and wound up a doleful accountof himself by imploring O'Dowd to save his life by bringing the entireGreen Fancy party over to dinner that night.

  O'Dowd was heart-broken. Personally he would go to any extreme to saveso valuable a life, but as for the rest of the party, they begged himto say they were sorry to hear of the expected death of so promising achap and that, while they couldn't come to his party, they would bedelighted to come to his funeral. In short, it would be impossible forthem to accept his kind invitation. The Irishman was so gay andgood-humoured that Barnes took hope.

  "By the way, O'Dowd, I'd like to speak with Miss Cameron if she cancome to the telephone."

  There was a moment of silence. Then: "Call up at twelve o'clock and askfor me. Good-bye."

  Promptly on the stroke of twelve Barnes took down the receiver andcalled for Green Fancy. O'Dowd answered almost immediately.

  "I warned you last night, Barnes," he said without preamble. "I toldyou to keep out of this. You may not understand the situation and Icannot enlighten you, but I will say this much: no harm can come to herwhile I'm here and alive."

  "Can't she come to the telephone?"

  "Won't ye take my word for it? I swear by all that's holy that she'llbe safe while I've--"

  Barnes was cautious. This might be the clever O'Dowd's way of trappinghim into serious admissions.

  "I don't know what the deuce you are talking about, O'Dowd," heinterrupted.

  "You lie, Barnes," said the other promptly. "Miss Cameron is here at myelbow. Will you have her tell you that you lie?"

  "Let her say anything she likes," said Barnes quickly.

  "Don't be surprised if you are cut off suddenly. The coast is clear forthe moment, but--Here, Miss Cameron. Careful, now."

  Her voice, soft and clear and trembling with eagerness caressedBarnes's eager ear.

  "Mr. O'Dowd will see that no evil befalls me here, but he refuses tohelp me to get away. I quite understand and appreciate his position. Icannot ask him to go so far as that. Help will have to come from theoutside. It will be dangerous--terribly dangerous, I fear. I have noright to ask you to take the risk--"

  "Wait! Is O'Dowd there?"

  "He has left the room. He does not want to hear what I say to you.Don't you understand?"

  "Keeping his conscience clear, bless his soul," said Barnes. "It issafe for you to speak freely?"

  "I think so. O'Dowd suspected us last night. He came to me this morningand spoke very frankly about it. I feel quite safe with him. You see,I've known him for a long, long time. He did not know that I was to beled into a trap like this. It was not until I had been here for severalhours that he realised the true state of affairs. I cannot tell you anymore at present, Mr. Barnes. So great are the other issues at stakethat my own misfortunes are as nothing."

  "You say O'Dowd will not assist you to escape?"

  "He urges me to stay here and take my chances. He believes thateverything will turn out well for me in the end, but I am frightened. Imust get away from this place."

  "I'll manage it, never fear. Keep a stiff upper lip."

  "Wha--keep a what?"

  He laughed. "I forgot that you don't understand our language, MissCameron. Have courage, is what I should have said. Are you prepared tofly at a moment's notice?"

  "Yes."

  "Then, keep your eyes and ears open for the next night or two. Can youtell me where your room is located?"

  "It is one flight up; the first of the two windows in my room is thethird to the right of the entrance. I am confident that some one isstationed below my windows all night long."

  "Are you alone in that room?"

  "Yes. Mr. and Mrs. Van Dyke occupy the rooms on my left, Mr. De Soto ison my right."

  "Where does Loeb sleep?"

  "I do not know." He detected a new note in her voice, and at once putit down to fear.

  "You still insist that I am not to call on the authorities for help?"

  "Yes, yes! That must not even be considered. I have not only myself toconsider, Mr. Barnes. I am a very small atom in--"

  "All right! We'll get along without them," he said cheerily."Afterwards we will discuss the importance of atoms."

  "And your reward as well, Mr. Barnes," she said. Her voice trailed offinto an indistinct murmur. He heard the receiver click on the hook,and, after calling "hello" twice, hung up his own with a sigh.Evidently O'Dowd had warned her of the approach of a less considerateperson than himself.