The Second Chance Tea Shop (Little Somerby)

by Fay Keenan

  The gentleness in his father’s voice disarmed Matthew and dissipated his anger. He put his head in his hands. ‘I can’t help it, Dad. Since Meredith’s accident…’ his voice caught in his throat.

  ‘Meredith’s fine. A little wiser, and a little more cautious perhaps, but fine. You can’t protect her from the whole world. She’s as stubborn as you and she’ll go out and find danger, if you don’t allow her to court it occasionally. And if nothing else, she’s learned not to listen at keyholes.’ Jack reached forward and patted Matthew’s shoulder with a gnarled, arthritic hand.

  When Matthew looked back up at his father, he saw tears in Jack Carter’s eyes.

  ‘Listen to me,’ Jack said gruffly. ‘Go and find Anna, wherever she is, and tell her you love her before it’s too late. Don’t let this one get away from you.’

  ‘How can I find her if she doesn’t want to be found? She’s gone, I don’t know where and I don’t have the first clue where to look.’

  Jack shook his head. ‘For an intelligent man you really are stupid sometimes. Take a leave of absence. Find her. Don’t mess this up, Matthew. You might not get another chance at happiness.’

  Matthew shook his head. ‘Why did we not do this years ago?’

  Jack looked wryly at his son. ‘Would you have listened to me?’

  Grinning ruefully, Matthew conceded that perhaps the old man had a point, picked up the decanter and poured them both another drink. ‘Don’t worry, Dad, I’m not driving anywhere today. I’ll take your advice first thing tomorrow.’

  When they parted, Matthew felt that, for the first time in years, he’d actually communicated with his father.

  52

  Cowslip Barn was quiet when Matthew walked back through the front door, and he hoped that Meredith hadn’t decided to skip out in the time he’d been with his father. Feeling a real flutter of nerves in his stomach, he mounted the stairs and drew a deep breath before knocking on her bedroom door.

  ‘Come in.’

  He still didn’t quite know how to start the conversation, but, bracing himself, he opened the door. Meredith was lying on her bed watching the latest episode of an American high school drama, the remains of a cheese sandwich on a plate beside her.

  ‘Pat’ll moan if she finds more crumbs in your bed sheets. She almost went on strike when she found most of the kitchen crockery under your bed.’ Matthew gave a faint smile.

  ‘I’ll take it down when I’m done,’ Meredith replied, glancing at him. ‘Did you go out?’

  ‘Yes.’ Matthew sat gingerly on the edge of Meredith’s rumpled bed. ‘I went to see Granddad.’

  ‘Did he give you a bollocking as well?’

  ‘You could say that.’ Matthew shook his head. ‘Not that I don’t deserve one.’

  ‘What are you going to do?’

  Matthew ran a hand abstractedly through his hair. ‘Firstly, I’m going to apologise to you. You don’t deserve this, and I know how hard it’s been for you. I gave you the hope that Anna and I would be together, and now it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. I can’t imagine how you feel.’

  ‘Gutted, mostly,’ Meredith said. ‘I really thought you and Anna had a chance to make each other happy. Angry with you for being a dick. Angry with Mum for ruining everything again. And really, really sad for Anna.’

  Matthew swallowed hard. ‘You articulated that extremely well. Better than I could.’

  ‘Must have inherited that from Mum.’

  ‘I just wish I knew what to do next,’ Matthew shook his head. ‘Any ideas?’

  ‘Talk to Anna. She’s the one who deserves your apology.’

  ‘I know.’ And in that moment, a wave of desolation washed over him; it wasn’t the first, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. ‘She won’t listen to me.’ He ran a hand over his tired eyes.

  ‘Daddy,’ Meredith whispered. She moved towards Matthew and put her arms around him. ‘I’m sorry I shouted at you earlier. You and Anna will work this out, I know you will.’

  Matthew pulled Meredith close and clenched his jaw. ‘We might not be able to.’

  ‘Talk to her, please.’ Meredith looked up at her father, and in her face were traces, still, of the hopeful child she once was. She was on the brink of so many things, so many new experiences; it made Matthew’s heart ache to look at her.

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Yes, you can! You just go round there, knock on the door and refuse to go away until she lets you in.’ Meredith’s voice carried more than a hint of desperation. ‘You have to make her listen to you.’

  ‘I can’t.’ This time there was no mistaking the tremble in his voice. He tightened his embrace.

  ‘Please, Dad.’ Meredith’s voice was so full of hope. Matthew could hardly bear it.

  ‘I can’t, Meredith.’ He closed his own eyes briefly and tried to breathe. ‘Because she’s not there.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Meredith pulled back so that she could look her father in the eye. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Dad, you’ve got to find her!’ Meredith was alert, despite the fact she’d had very little sleep. ‘She must have told someone where she was going – she wouldn’t have buggered off without telling at least one person. She’s got the tea shop to sort out, for a start. She wouldn’t just have left that.’

  ‘Her parents are out of the country, so I doubt they’d be any the wiser.’

  ‘What about Pat?’

  ‘Gone to her sister’s.’

  ‘She wouldn’t just have walked out on the tea shop without telling someone where she’s going. Anna’s not like that.’

  ‘She must have been in a pretty poor state of mind,’ Matthew said. ‘She might just have gone without thinking.’

  ‘No.’ Meredith was adamant. ‘Someone knows. And if I know Anna, she’ll have told Charlotte. Why don’t I go round there and find out?’

  ‘Leave her be for today,’ Matthew said. ‘If she does know what happened, she’ll be pretty angry with anyone by the name of Carter at the moment, and she’s got good reason to be. I’ll go and see her tomorrow.’

  ‘No offence, Dad, but you’re the last person she’s going to want to see. Why don’t you let me try?’

  Matthew rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. ‘Not today.’

  ‘OK,’ Meredith conceded reluctantly. ‘I’ll pop round after school tomorrow and see if I can find anything out.’

  ‘Don’t give her a load of grief,’ Matthew warned. ‘She’s Anna’s best friend and she only wants to protect her.’

  Meredith gave a small smile. ‘Understood. For what it’s worth, Dad, you’ve been a prat, but I think you’re worth a second chance.’

  Matthew pulled Meredith close again. ‘Thanks.’ As her arms curled around him, a small amount of the anxiety he’d been carrying since his ill-fated night with Tara started to dissipate. He had a long way to go before it was all gone, but reconciling with Meredith was a good first step.

  53

  ‘So let me get this straight,’ Jonathan said. ‘One minute you’re desperate to get after Anna and plead with her to take you back, and the next you’re flatly refusing to go because a bunch of middle-aged Yanks are flying in tomorrow?’ He shook his head. ‘I don’t get you sometimes.’

  Matthew had been greeted with the eleventh hour news that the FastStream reps were flying in on the redeye from Newark when he’d reached his office that morning. It was now getting close to lunchtime, and he was still at a loss as to how best to play it. He began to pace his office, agitated and conflicted beyond belief. ‘I can’t just swan off at a moment’s notice and leave this place in the lurch. There’s too much at stake.’

  ‘Then let me handle it,’ Jonathan replied. ‘Some things are more important than the business. I know you find that hard to believe, but in this case it’s true. I can do this. You know I can. I’ve proved it to you by getting the buggers to agree to come in the first place.’

  ‘I need to b
e here, at the table with you,’ Matthew snapped. ‘And you still haven’t told me exactly what you said to McIvor. The about-turn FastStream have done on this deal is nothing short of miraculous.’

  ‘It’ll keep,’ Jonathan said hastily. His brand of business was, he imagined, a little less strait-laced than his brother’s on occasion, and he didn’t want to get into a conversation about principles; especially when they involved a lot of alcohol and several promises he probably wouldn’t keep. ‘I can handle the Americans,’ Jonathan continued. ‘Now for once will you follow your head instead of your heart and get down to Hampshire and bring Anna home.’

  Matthew’s head snapped up. ‘She’s in Hampshire?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘How do you know?’

  ‘Charlotte fessed up in the end, but to be honest, it wouldn’t have taken a genius to work it out. Even I knew where she and James lived before she came here, and her grandfather still lives there.’

  ‘And Charlotte told you this, when?’

  Jonathan grinned. ‘Earlier this morning. I went to see her at the tea shop and charmed it out of her. But I wanted to make you sweat a bit before I told you.’

  Matthew’s patience snapped. Before he could even think, he’d grabbed hold of his brother and thrown him back against the wall. ‘You can presume to tell me how to run my business, Jonathan, and you can even manage to get Dad back on side, but don’t you ever tell me how to conduct my relationships.’ His face was close to his brother’s and he could feel Jonathan’s shortening breaths.

  ‘Forget about me for a minute, will you? Anna’s gone, and she’s taken Ellie with her, and unless you get after her and tell her how you really feel, she won’t be coming back. She’s one step away from putting Pippin Cottage back on the market and getting the hell out of here for good.’ He reached up and pulled Matthew’s hand away from his collar. ‘Don’t let your own pig-headedness lose you the one person who can make you truly happy.’

  Matthew froze for a moment, lost, angry and afraid. Then, slowly, he dropped his hand from where it had balled in Jonathan’s shirt. Taking a step back, he bowed his head.

  ‘I can’t lose her, Jonno. She’s what makes me draw breath.’

  ‘I know.’ Jonathan’s voice was gentle. ‘Let me handle the Yanks tomorrow, and get yourself after her, quickly.’

  When Matthew raised his head again, his eyes were full of desolation. ‘You are not off the hook,’ he said bleakly. ‘But I will trust you this time. Don’t fuck it up.’

  ‘You either, big brother.’ Jonathan replied. ‘Now you’d better take me through this presentation of yours so you can shoot off as soon as it’s light tomorrow.’

  ‘I need to go now.’

  ‘You can’t,’ Jonathan replied. ‘The Land Rover’s in bits on Patrick’s driveway, again, remember? He promised to have it back to you, good as new, early tomorrow morning. And Dad’s Jag is in for its MOT so you can’t nab that. Wait one night, and then you can get your stubborn, pathetic backside down to the commuter belt and win back the woman you love.’

  Matthew shook his head. He still couldn’t get that same head around it all. How, over the space of so short a time, had he become so remarkably illiterate in the ways of the world?

  54

  Anna knew she couldn’t stay with her grandfather indefinitely, much as her instinct was to hide out with him for the foreseeable future. She knew that, by returning to Hampshire, returning to where she and James had spent their married life, she was looking for something, hoping for something she was never going to find. She was running away from the present in search of her past; a past that was, literally, dead and buried.

  That Tuesday morning, the low autumn sun cast Ludshott Common in a strange, golden light as Anna and Ellie meandered over the slight inclines at the heart of the Hampshire-Surrey border. It felt more like a day in late summer than mid-October. The sepia light and the birds singing in the trees made the atmosphere warmly electric. Though the pine trees still held their needles, many of them were brown from the lack of rainfall, and a carpet of dropped shards crunched beneath their feet as they walked.

  ‘We going home soon?’ Ellie asked as she picked up yet another fallen gorse spike.

  ‘Why?’ Anna replied. ‘Don’t you like staying with Great-Granddad?’

  ‘Yes,’ Ellie said. ‘But I miss Evan. And Merry.’

  Anna swallowed hard. She knew she couldn’t hide forever. ‘Just a few more days, darling.’

  Satisfied, Ellie upped her pace, toddling ahead on the path and chasing falling coppery beech leaves. The scent of approaching winter was in the air, but the warmth counteracted it. Anna was bombarded by sense memories of blissful, humid summer nights in Matthew’s arms, and a fresh wave of longing threatened to overwhelm her. Would she ever feel whole again?

  Glancing back towards where the footpath led from the main road to the common, Anna blinked in the sunlight. When they started the walk, they’d been alone; it being too late for the dog walking stockbrokers and too early for the lunchtime pensioners taking a constitutional. But there was someone else striding down the pathway. Someone who was tall, broad, and walking with a slightly uneven gait. Someone she’d know anywhere, but who seemed strangely out of place striding across this common, in this unusual light.

  It couldn’t be.

  Could it?

  Was she hallucinating? Anna froze in her tracks. The figure came closer, pace picking up as he gained ground.

  A confusing maelstrom of emotions overtook her. Matthew, in his fallback blue jeans, and a crumpled checked shirt, his hair looking as though it hadn’t seen a brush in a week, grey stubble peppering his face, was striding towards her. He looked tired but elated that he’d finally found what, or whom, he was looking for.

  ‘I thought I’d never find you!’ The voice, the sheer power of his presence was unmistakeable.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Anna blinked furiously, still not convinced she was actually seeing straight.

  ‘I came after you as soon as Jonathan told me where you’d gone.’

  ‘Jonathan? But how did he know?’

  ‘He wheedled it out of Charlotte.’

  ‘Of course he did.’ Anna sighed. ‘But it’s still no good. I can’t handle it right now.’

  ‘Handle what?’

  ‘You, life, anything, really.’ Anna reached out and plucked a spike of gorse from a nearby bush. It gave her something to focus on, something to ground her.

  ‘You’re not making any sense,’ Matthew said.

  ‘Well, why don’t you talk?’ Anna flared up. ‘Don’t you think it’s about time you levelled with me?’

  Matthew looked long and hard at her ‘All right.’ He took hold of Anna’s shoulders and turned her to face him. ‘When Tara left me, I was a mess,’ he said. ‘I was angry, scared, I had no idea what to do with Meredith, the business was about to go under and to cap it all I’d not only lost my wife, but my brother.’ He shook his head. ‘It took a long, long time for me to get back on an even keel, and some people would say that I’m still listing a bit, even now.

  ‘Anna, when you came to the village, it was as if a whole lot of things that I’d been unsure about, afraid of, suddenly stopped being so frightening. I looked at you and I realised that it was time to stop being angry, to stop holding on to the hurt and to start living my life again. And that, in itself, frightened the hell out of me.’ He slid his hands down Anna’s arms to hold her hands. ‘And I’ll admit, I could never have worked that out by myself. Meredith knew before I did that you were someone special. It took her nearly dying for me to realise that she was absolutely right. And even that didn’t stop me from making the second most colossal mistake of my life. And then, by not levelling with you, I made the biggest one.’

  ‘Matthew…’ Anna whispered. The hurt of finding out about Matthew and Tara’s encounter threatened to engulf her again and she wasn’t sure she could handle it.

  ‘No. Let me finish, please. I
need to say this. And I need to know you’ve heard it. What you choose to do with that knowledge is entirely down to you.’ He drew a shaky breath, and his hands started to tremble in hers. ‘I will never be able to express how much I regret that night, and how sorry I am that it happened. It was the lowest point of my entire life, and what Tara and I did will haunt me until the end of my days. I hate myself for what I did. But I love you, Anna, and I never, ever, want to risk losing you again. I can’t imagine my life without you, and if you choose to live yours without me, if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me, I’ll deal with that, somehow, but I want you to know that the fact of my loving you will never change.’

  The birds in the trees above their heads chirruped softly, and that was the sound that Anna would forever associate with what happened next. Slowly, gently, she raised her hands to Matthew’s face. She felt the tautness of his jaw under her fingertips as he struggled not to lose control, and saw him blinking furiously. She increased the pressure of her fingers and brought her lips to his. His mouth was warm and soft, and trembled as it met hers. Tentatively, she deepened the kiss, until both of them were shaking so much they had to break apart again to breathe. Anna noticed the wetness under her fingers as she moved to look at Matthew again, but wasn’t sure if it was caused by her tears or his. When they parted, they were both gasping and Anna was grateful for Matthew’s arms around her.

  ‘I can’t help it,’ Anna whispered. ‘I’ve tried to tell myself I’ll get over you, that I can walk away from this if only I kept reminding myself of what you and Tara did, but I never believed it. You made a stupid mistake, in horrible circumstances, and grown-ups are allowed to make mistakes sometimes, if only to learn from them.’ She willed herself to take the next step. ‘I knew that from the start, really, but I tried to convince myself it was over between us so that I wasn’t the one who’d end up letting you down. I love you too, Matthew, and I always, always will.’